postpartum doulas | Gold Coast Doulas

Mothership Certified Health Service Providers

Classes, Doulas, Parenting, Self-Care / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth doula, postpartum doulas, self care

Many of our doulas are Mothership Certified Health Service Providers. Sounds cool, but what does that mean? Here’s a simplified breakdown of what we learned in our training and why it’s so important.

The training involved learning the difference between empathy and sympathy. We understand that empathy never starts with, “At least…”. Here’s a great video that demonstrates the difference between the two.

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It’s important to allow a client to feel their emotions, and sometimes the best thing to do is to let them talk and not say anything at all. It’s okay to just be with someone. We don’t need to try to fix the person or the situation.

Storytelling is a great vehicle for release. Maybe it’s the release of a fear or anxiety. Maybe it’s the release of a traumatic birth experience a client hasn’t talked about yet. It can also be very uplifting. Sharing a personal story of redemption with a client can help calm fears. It can also make you more relatable if you open up and show some vulnerability.

We understand that everyone holds a certain level of bias, but knowing where those bias’ come from and how to eliminate them is critical. Being aware is the first step, the identifying them, and acting according to our values. But the best thing you can do to eliminate bias is constant exposure to diverse situations. To feel comfortable outside our bubble, you need to get outside your bubble!

Our training also talked about stress and shifting the way we think about stress. Maybe those fight or fight responses are there for a reason! Our bodies are preparing us to handle the situation at hand.

After our training we pledged to the following:

To better understand ourselves by reflecting on our strengths and challenges by practicing self-care, so that we an give the best care to our clients (because having compassion for others starts with self-compassion). We will actively work on understanding and challenging our personal biases which can affect how we deliver services.
To better understand our clients by thinking about our clients in the context of their lives, considering how we can best serve them given their circumstances, feelings, challenges, and strengths. We will look for nonverbal emotional and cultural cues so we know how to best approach our clients when delivering services.
To build better connections and promote empowerment by being intentional in how we project our nonverbal communication cues, and by our choice of words.

Mothership was inspired based on their own experiences and the experiences of friends and family. They started with values and a vision, and then spent about a year researching how they could best serve families in their important role as parents. Using a human-centered design approach, they listened to moms, dads, other caregivers, and various health care providers like nurses, lactation consultants, doulas, and peer counselors to better understand family needs, health system constraints, existing initiatives, and opportunities for making an impact. From there, they developed their mission, guiding principles, and programs.

At Gold Coast Doulas, we believe the client and health partner relationship should be emotional and relational. It’s a parent-centered relationship where we guide you and help you feel confident in our role. You will be seen, heard, and valued without judgment. We will listen to your unique needs and understand your unique situation.

To see which of our doulas are Mothership Certified Health Service Providers, look for the seal on their website bios.

Mothership Certified Health Service Providers Read More »

My role as a postpartum doula.

Doulas, Parenting, Postpartum / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth support, bottle feeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding consultant, lactation, mood disorders, multiples, newborn care, nursing, postpartum depression, postpartum doulas, pumping

Our very own Jamie Platt, BSN, RN, CLC, CPST shares her personal insights on what it’s like to be a postpartum doula.

What is the role of a postpartum doula? What does it look like, and how might a doula support the breastfeeding relationship between mom and baby? A postpartum doula can take care of mom, baby, and the entire family. Sometimes mom needs emotional support, help around the house, or even just a nap! I’ve taken care of baby while mom takes a nice hot shower or has one-on-one time with older siblings. We’re also able to prepare meals and run errands. We help with newborn care; we serve a variety of moms from different cultural backgrounds and some families need help with bathing, breastfeeding, and diaper changes. Some of our doulas have had additional training regarding the care of multiples, or have multiples themselves!

I have completed special training in perinatal mood & anxiety disorders so that I am able to recognize the signs and symptoms of a variety of mood disorders. It’s important that mom receives help if she needs it, and the general Grand Rapids area has great resources that include therapists and community support groups. In fact, we have one of the few Mother Baby programs in the entire nation, which provides a day program where mom can bring baby with her while she receives treatment. It is critical that we recognize when a mom needs help, that we support her, and in turn reduce the stigma of postpartum mood & anxiety disorders. Postpartum doulas are right there in family’s homes and can be a direct source of help and information.

Doulas also provide overnight support, which can be so great for moms (and partners)! The entire family can get the sleep they need and mom can still breastfeed baby through the night. I like to think that when I show up to a family’s home at night, I am well rested and mom may be feeling tired- but when I leave in the morning, I leave with bags under my eyes and mom looks and feels like a goddess when she wakes up. That is my goal!

I also want to acknowledge the importance of breastfeeding while still respecting the needs of mom, which may include formula feeding. As a postpartum doula I provide nonjudgmental support, and I help mom reach the goals SHE wants – not me. I recently completed my Certified Lactation Counseling (or CLC) training. The CDC considers both CLC’s and IBCLC’s as professional lactation supporters.

So why is breastfeeding so difficult that mothers need help? Well, our culture has unrealistic expectations of what the newborn period is like. The fastest drop-off in breastfeeding rates occur in the first 10 days after hospital discharge. The main reasons mothers stop breastfeeding is because they believe they don’t make enough milk, the baby won’t latch, and/or mom has sore or painful breasts. Breastfeeding rates drop again when mom has to return to work or school between 8-12 weeks. It is so important that as a community we support mothers who want to breastfeed. As doulas, we can help mom gain the confidence she needs, give basic breastfeeding information, and make appropriate referrals if needed. Gold Coast Doulas offers lactation support through our IBCLC, Shira Johnson, who makes home visits. Gold Coast also has other doulas who have other breastfeeding-specific training, like the CLC training. We know that breastfeeding has amazing benefits for both mom and baby, so it’s time that we start normalizing it, and again, support all moms regardless of their feeding choice.

My role as a postpartum doula. Read More »

Media – Friend or Foe?

Parenting / Alyssa Veneklase / anxiety, depression, mood disorders, perinatal mood disorders, postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression, postpartum doulas, stress and pregnancy

In light of recent events, we have a special guest blog by Lindsey Zaskiewicz, LMSW. Lindsey is a licensed social worker currently employed as a clinician on a mental health and substance abuse crisis line. Prior to this role, she has several years of experience working in maternal-infant mental health, as well as direct practice with adolescents and young adults. Beyond her role as a social worker, she is also an expectant mother who is navigating this journey for the first time; this provides a unique opportunity to empathize and appreciate what other moms have experienced themselves.

In an era when everywhere you turn things are being aired, tweeted, and live-streamed, it’s hard to dodge the media and celebrity updates that inundate our daily lives. Most recently, news and media outlets have covered the deaths of both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, each dying by suicide. And while many people will take the opportunity to grieve those beloved public figures, media coverage of high-profile suicides can also negatively influence those at risk already.

It is important to take inventory of our own responses and internal triggers when confronted with the news of a death by suicide, especially for women who are currently struggling with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.* You are allowed to give yourself permission to turn off TV reports or not scroll through news feeds in order to maintain a healthy separation. It is also critical to develop and/or use support systems when confronted with worsening depression or anxiety symptoms. Whether you yourself have experienced perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, or you know someone who has (or is at this time), please know that there is help and support available.

We tend to see the side of individuals on social media that they want us to see, and that is not typically an accurate representation of reality. While perinatal mood and anxiety disorders continue to feel somewhat stigmatized in society, there have been several brave women who have come forward to share their stories publicly. When high-profile celebrities can bring attention and shed light on what they have gone through, it can assist women to feel that they are not alone. Some of the most well-known women to speak out regarding their struggles are Brooke Shields, Hayden Panettiere, and JK Rowling. They each had the following to say about their postpartum experience:

Brooke Shields: “I had gone through numerous attempts to have a baby and when I did finally have this perfect, beautiful, healthy baby it all but destroyed me. I couldn’t hold the baby, I couldn’t do anything for the baby, I couldn’t look at the baby.”

Hayden Panettiere received inpatient treatment after the 2014 birth of her child: “There’s a lot of misunderstanding- there’s a lot of people out there that think that it’s not real, that it’s not true, that it’s something that’s made up in their minds, that ‘oh, it’s hormones.’ They brush it off. It’s something that’s completely uncontrollable. It’s really painful and it’s really scary, and women need a lot of support.”

JK Rowling: “I have never been remotely ashamed of having been depressed. Never. What’s to be ashamed of? I went through a really rough time and I am quite proud that I got out of that.”

When confronted with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, or thoughts of suicide, it is crucial to reach out and receive support and/or treatment. You can’t tell that someone is struggling or feeling suicidal just by looking at them. If you are the loved one of a pregnant mom or mom with small children, it’s important to check in with them and ask how they are doing, even if things seem to be going well from the outside. And if you are someone who is currently experiencing depression, anxiety, or thoughts of suicide, there is help available even if you don’t have an immediate social support network. Listed below are several resources that can be used to provide the essential support and encouragement that you need. Also remember, not all treatment is “one size fits all,” so if you don’t feel connected to a specific therapist or type of treatment, please don’t lose hope. Asking for help takes bravery – there is strength in sharing our story and letting ourselves be seen and heard.

Resources for depression, anxiety, and suicide support:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (24 hrs/day) 800-273-8255
Pine Rest Mother Baby Program 616-455-9200
Spectrum Health Postpartum Emotional Support Group (FREE) 616-391-5000

* Any type of mood or anxiety disorder from pregnancy through the child’s third year

Media – Friend or Foe? Read More »

Podcast Episode #27: Let’s Talk About the Pelvic Floor

Ask The Doulas Podcast / Alyssa Veneklase / birth support, pelvic floor, postpartum doulas, self care

Today on Ask the Doulas, we talk to JoEllen Bender of Hulst Jepsen Physical Therapy in East Grand Rapids. She is a physical therapist who specializes in women’s pelvic issues. Listen as she gives some tips and dispels some myths about the pelvic floor. You’re doing kegels right now, aren’t you?!

Listen to the podcast on iTunes or SoundCloud!

Alyssa: Hello and welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas! I am Alyssa Veneklase, co-owner and postpartum doula. Today we are talking to JoEllen Bender of Hulst Jepsen Physical Therapy. Hello.

JoEllen: Hi.

Alyssa: We actually had an event recently.

JoEllen: Yes, we did.

Alyssa: And I learned so much about what you do for pelvic floor. I wanted to talk a little bit about what that actually means and what you do for your patients, but when we say pelvic floor, what does it even mean?

JoEllen: So the pelvic floor specifically is a group of muscles that are at the base, where there’s the vaginal and anal opening. It spans pretty wide, so it’s from both hips and then the front of your pubic bone back to your coccyx or your tailbone, and that’s pretty much the typical pelvic floor musculature, but it spans and helps the whole body. So if you think about it, all the pressure that comes from the bottom of the body, so your legs when you hit the ground – your pelvic floor is your core. It’s a shock absorber. And then everything from above; so if you lift something, it also is a shock absorber for any of that pressure or weight. So it’s a pretty big area. The muscles themselves are in a smaller group, but it helps with so many things throughout your day.

Alyssa: So it doesn’t just have to do with peeing when you do jumping jacks?

JoEllen: No, it doesn’t. It’s so much more.

Alyssa: So you’re saying even when you’re working your core, you’re working your pelvic floor?

JoEllen: Exactly, yes. And that’s when issues can come in if you don’t use your pelvic floor and you specifically just use those six-pack muscles, those rock-hard abs type of muscles. So it’s very important to train the pelvic floor along with the core. I know when people typically think “core,” it’s those muscles in the front from your chest down to your pelvis, your hips, but it’s so much more than that. You have to add the core, the base of it, your pelvic floor in there, too.

Alyssa: So what does a typical woman come to see you for?

JoEllen: So there’s a whole host of things. A lot of it will be low back pain. There will be pelvic pain, constipation, coccyx pain. You could also have – there’s multiple diseases like vulvodynia, endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome, lots of those types of things. But then the main thing that I like to specialize in is postpartum or pregnancy, so that is the bulk of my client baseload, but there’s a whole host of things that you could come in for with pelvic pain or things related to that.

Alyssa: So a pregnant mom comes in. Is she just doing preventative work, or is she usually having some leaking, or does it usually have to do with the bladder?

JoEllen: It can be to do with the bladder. There’s so many things that a pregnant mother could have issues with, so we would –

Alyssa: Like pelvic pain?

JoEllen: Exactly, yeah, so we can combat any of that. A lot of the typical symptoms would be low back pain. You start to grow a baby in the front there; it offsets your balance and your weight, and you’re using different muscles. Elastin in the body increases by 30% when you get pregnant, which increases the laxity of your connective tissue and your joints, your ligaments, all of that type of stuff. So back pain, I would say, is the biggest. Incontinence, leakage, would be probably second, and then a lot of times they’ll even come in with lower extremity swelling. So we can help with some of that, too, increase that lymph flow and all of that. So whatever they come in with, we try to meet them where they’re at and then just progress through the pregnancy as they need.

Alyssa: And then same with postpartum?

JoEllen: Correct.

Alyssa: Things have now shifted; you’ve had your baby, and there’s probably a whole host of other issues that now come along with the pelvic floor.

JoEllen: Exactly. So some of them can be the same of what happened pregnancy-wise, but then postpartum, I would say, biggest is probably leakage, incontinence; sometimes constipation still will happen frequently, and the low back pain is pretty constant, too. Most of the time, if it’s more preventative, it will be someone that wants to return to, let’s say, running, or some type of exercise, and now all of a sudden, they’ve had this impairment of leakage or pain or something like that. So then we’ll just take them through more of a postpartum exercise routine or things that you can reintegrate your pelvic floor to help get you back to the things that you want to do.

Alyssa: Okay, so that was my next question. What does that look like? What do you do as a pelvic floor physical therapist? And I know when we had our event together, you kind of mentioned that there were external things as well as internal, right?

JoEllen: Yes.

Alyssa: So how do those differ?

JoEllen: So internal would mean that we would go in vaginally, one gloved finger. It’s all up to patient comfort, and we can feel those internal muscles. There are ways that you can feel the more internal muscles externally, so if a patient came in and they weren’t comfortable with internal, of course we could always stick to external. It doesn’t mean that you always have to go internal when you see a pelvic floor physical therapist. I think a lot of people are worried about that and so they don’t come in, but we meet you wherever you’re at. So internal would be more releasing the muscles or giving tactile cues on how to find your pelvic floor or contract it. Externally, you could do the same, simple type of things, but it would be more like those tactile cues on how to find your pelvic floor or contract certain muscles or relax certain muscles.

Alyssa: So everyone thinks of Kegels; I mean, that’s what I think of. But it’s so much more than that, right?

JoEllen: Exactly.

Alyssa: And did you tell me that you can even do Kegels too much and have the opposite effect?

JoEllen: Right, so if you hold your pelvic floor at a higher tone, a higher resting tone – so it’s not in the good type of strength; it’s more of that high-tone irritability that can cause pain. You can’t get a full release to then get a full contraction, so you need the muscle to go through its full length of motion, meaning it needs to drop down and fully relax so that you then can contract it. If you’re doing Kegels all day, it’s the same as any other muscle. Let’s say you contract your bicep all day, and then all of a sudden you need to use it. Let’s say you feel like a leak’s coming on or something; it’s just going to give way and then you are going to leak; it’s going to go out. So same thing with the bicep; use it all day, and then you go and try to pick up your purse or something heavy: it’s just going to give, and it’s not going to be able to do what it needs to do.

Alyssa: Okay. So are there different exercises then that you said – you mentioned the core, but the lower core? So there’s different exercises like crunches and certain things that you would tell people to do?

JoEllen: Yes; not typically crunches, though. So there’s different types of muscles that are more postural and the ones that can transmit forces from, let’s say, your right side to your left side, which are the ones that we really want to get after. So those would be your deeper muscles, your typical pelvic floor muscles, and then those smaller abdominal muscles, not that six-pack, typical type of ab muscles.

Alyssa: These are abdominal muscles that you can’t necessarily touch by doing crunches; it’s a different exercise?

JoEllen: Correct. You can’t really see them; it’s a deeper type of muscle area. So a lot of times the first thing that I’ll take someone through is breathing because the top of the pelvic floor is actually your diaphragm, so it creates this cannister within you. The top is the diaphragm; the bottom is the pelvic floor. When you inhale, your diaphragm contracts and drops down, and your pelvic floor can then relax and drop down, so that would be the lengthening of the muscle. When you exhale, then the pelvic floor comes up; it contracts, and your diaphragm comes back up, also. So it’s kind of like a piston; they both drop down together, and then they come back up together, so the way to activate the pelvic floor in the beginning would be first by trying to find your diaphragmatic breathing; get that good expansion. A lot of people have that high chest-breathing; everybody’s stressed lately, and as a mother, postpartum, they have so many things that they have to think of, and it’s more of a stressful time. So they breathe with that chest, when really, we need to activate the pelvic floor which would be breathing with your diaphragm. So that would be first exercise, and then we would just progress from there.

Alyssa: So is there anything else about the pelvic floor for either prenatal or postpartum, things that maybe people think of as a misconception or that you would want people to know about?

JoEllen: So my big thing is, it seems to be that all of a sudden at six weeks you’re just magically better and you can return to whatever you want to do.

Alyssa: Postpartum, you mean?

JoEllen: Exactly, yes. I wish people would not say that because it took nine months for you to get to where you are, and your body changed drastically. It’s going to take about nine months to get back to where you were before, so I don’t want moms to think, oh my gosh, I’m not back to where I was. Or they see another mom that is now running marathons. Everybody changes so much differently, and we’re going to meet you where you’re at and then get you back to where you were, safely, rather than you trying to push yourself and then cause all these other types of issues.

Alyssa: That’s good advice. So how do our moms find you?

JoEllen: So I am at Hulst Jepsen Physical Therapy. It’s an outpatient clinic. The address specifically is 2000 Burton Street SE. We’re Suite 1, and that’s in East Grand Rapids.

Alyssa: So are you near Anthropologie? Is that a good landmark?

JoEllen: We are pretty close, right in that area, yeah. So the best way would be to call. The number is 616-608-8485. And then you would just schedule with me, JoEllen Bender. Just ask to schedule for pelvic floor physical therapy, and then we can get you started on whatever types of issues you’re having or if it’s preventative during pregnancy or any of that.

Alyssa: Now how far – this is something I didn’t ask. How far postpartum can you see a mom?

JoEllen: They could come in as early as they wanted, and then we would just space out treatment based on the timeframe that exercises would be safe to begin. So they could come right after, and we could work on some breathing and postural type things, and then after that, I would be comfortable starting more of the typical strength training types of things probably around the four- to six-week area.

Alyssa: And then what about a mom whose daughter turned five and still can’t do jumping jacks without peeing? What about someone like that?

JoEllen: Come in ASAP! There is still hope!

Alyssa: Speaking from experience…

JoEllen: I would love for anybody like that to come in. There’s always – I mean, don’t think you’re too far gone or anything like that. We can always work on it, and you’ll get back to what you want to do.

Alyssa: Good, awesome. Well, thank you for all that information. Get ahold of her if you have any questions, and then as always, if you have questions for us, you can email us: info@goldcoastdoulas.com. Find us on Facebook and Instagram, and you can listen on iTunes and SoundCloud. Thanks.

JoEllen: Thank you for having me.

Podcast Episode #27: Let’s Talk About the Pelvic Floor Read More »

Meet our new birth doula, Mary!

Doulas / Alyssa Veneklase / doulas, gold coast doulas, postpartum depression, postpartum doulas

1) What did you do before you became a doula?
I left my career in marketing to be a full-time mom, and with my young family, I ended up
traveling for a few years to support my husband’s graduate studies in South Bend, Rome, and New York City. Since then, we’ve settled back in West Michigan, which has allowed me to focus on my work as a birth doula.

2) What inspired you to become a doula?
My first birth included a cesarean delivery and breastfeeding complications, and I desperately needed more emotional and physical support than what my healthcare team and family could provide. With a nursing background, I’ve always had a knack for bedside care, and when I was faced with challenges during my first birth, I saw an opportunity to exercise my talents in service to other moms.

3) Tell us about your family.
My husband and I live in Holland with our two young girls and Australian Shepherd. We enjoy playing outdoors, singing and dancing to music, and exploring Holland’s beautiful architecture.

4) What is your favorite vacation spot and why?
Hands down, New York City! I enjoy the many pleasures of Central Park, the aimless strolls, finding pockets of live music, the zoo, discovering hidden playgrounds and so much more! I also find vintage picking very relaxing and love to shop at flea markets in Fort Greene and DUMBO. The best view of Manhattan is from Brooklyn Bridge Park, lying in the grass or riding on Jane’s Carousel.

5) Name your top five bands/musicians and tell us what you love about them.
Jenny Lewis – Her casual lyrics and indie vibe always bring me back to So-Cal.
Adele – Undeniable voice.
Death Cab for Cutie – Soundtrack of my early 20’s.
Taylor Swift – I’ve followed her career from the very beginning and admire her for being herself. My daughter and I love to sing and dance to “Shake it off”.
Ryan Adams – My husband and I listen to DRA together. Some of our favorites include When the Stars Go Blue, Typecast, and his cover of T. Swift’s album 1989.

One last note on music… Our 4-year-old is named after Ben Folds’ song, Emaline, and our baby’s middle name comes from Magnolia Electric Company’s album, Josephine.

6) What is the best advice you have given to new families?
Gather your “village” to help you and your family postpartum, assigning household chores, pet care, and meal preparation to friends and family. As humans, this is how were meant to deal with the early days of child rearing. Using an online platform like CareCalendar keeps everyone involved, organized and updated with open tasks, all on your family’s timing. If more help is needed, consider hiring a postpartum doula.

7) What do you consider your doula superpower to be?
As a former practicing nurse, nurturing bedside manner has been my forte. I have a talent for anticipating a mother’s needs during childbirth and in the immediate postpartum period, always prepared to communicate her needs respectfully to the healthcare team.

8) What is your favorite food?
I really enjoy a healthy diet, but I have a weakness for FRIES!!! Steak fries, sweet potato fries, crinkle fries, curly fries, and smiley fries, remember those?

9) What is your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast?
My hometown, Holland! I absolutely love Holland’s beaches, hiking, the farmer’s market, and enjoying meals outdoors.

10) What are you reading now?
Baby-Led Weaning: The Essential Guide to Introducing Solid Foods and Helping Your Baby to Grow Up a Happy and Confident Eater, by Rapley and Murkett.
This Isn’t What I Expected: Overcoming Postpartum Depression, by Kleiman and Raskin.

11) Who are your role models?
My husband, Nick. After the birth of our first daughter, he realized his true calling and returned to grad school to study architecture. As a new father with new responsibilities, he juggled (or at least tried to juggle) school, family, and part-time jobs, pressing on to join the profession that he loves. Nick wanted to lead by example, showing our children the importance of careful career discernment. Without his courage to change careers, I wouldn’t have found my own path of self-discovery, pursuing work as a birth doula and lactation consultant.

Renowned midwife, Ina May Gaskin. Reading her book, Ina May’s Guide to Natural Childbirth
restored my faith in what a woman’s body is capable of during childbirth. It’s a must read for all pregnant mothers who desire a natural birth or just want to learn more about the birthing process and how to avoid unnecessary medical interventions often performed in today’s maternity care.

Meet our new birth doula, Mary! Read More »

Podcast Episode #21: Supporting a Cesarean Birth

Ask The Doulas Podcast / Alyssa Veneklase / birth doula, birth support, breastfeeding, cesarean birth, childbirth, nursing, postpartum doulas

April is C-section Awareness Month! On this episode of Ask the Doulas, Alyssa and Ashley talk about how birth doulas provide support during a Cesarean section delivery. You can listen to the full podcast episode on iTunes or Soundcloud.

Alyssa: Hi, welcome to Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas. I am Alyssa, co-owner and postpartum doula, and we have Ashley Forton with us again today.

Ashley: Hi.

Alyssa: And today the question is, how does a birth doula support my Cesarean birth? And I think that’s a really good question because everyone thinks of a doula’s support during a normal – I don’t want to say normal, but the typical vaginal delivery. And what if someone has a planned C-section, or what if they want a vaginal delivery and end up with Cesarean birth? In their mind, they’re saying, “I had all these ideas about what you do; I paid this money, and now I’m having surgery.” How do you support that?

Ashley: Yeah! So, plans change; birth is unpredictable. Sometimes we do have clients that have a planned Cesarean and still see the value in our support. So we can talk about it two different ways. When you have a planned Cesarean, whenever you hire us during your pregnancy, we’re still there for emotional and informational support throughout the pregnancy, so that can be really valuable. We can also help you come up with a birth preferences or a birth plan for your Cesarean.

Alyssa: What does that look like?

Ashley: When most people think of a birth plan, they think of a labor and vaginal birth, but it still applies to a Cesarean. You still have choices, and you can still kind of customize your experience. So we always talk about a birth plan being a starting point for a conversation with your provider, but you can certainly talk to your provider about, is a pass-through drape an option? Or even a see-through drape? Is there a clear drape so that I can see my baby emerging, if that’s something that you’re interested in? Letting them know if you want to have skin-to-skin contact with your baby right away; is that possible? Have that conversation. Talking about, hey, can I pick the music that’s playing in the room? I’ve got this song in my head that I really wanted to play when my baby is born. Hey, I want to read this poem to my baby as soon as my baby’s born. You can still do a lot of these personal things. Talk to the provider about who you’d like to have in the room. As doulas, sometimes we’re allowed in the OR; sometimes we’re not. But letting your preferences be known and saying, he, I have a birth doula, and I’d really like them to be in the OR with me. Have that conversation with your provider. As a birth doulas, I have been in the OR, but I haven’t been in every single time. So it’s always worth asking and having that conversation. So you can talk about who is in that OR with you; you can talk about what happens immediately afterwards. Hey, I’d like my birth doula in the recovery room with me. You can talk about all these different preferences when you have it planned ahead of time. It’s kind of nice to come up with a game plan before going in, whereas when you’re having a physiological birth, you’re going in for a vaginal birth, and then plans change. Something happens with you; something happens with baby, or you change your mind, and you go in for Cesarean. Sometimes you don’t have that time to plan ahead and say, hey, this is how I wanted my Cesarean to go. So sometimes, it’s nice to have that birth plan already written up just in case. And the way that we support – so let’s say we’re having a planned Cesarean and the birth doula is not allowed in the OR.

Alyssa: Who is that up to, normally?

Ashley: That’s up to the anesthesiologist at the hospital, so they make the final call. So it’s usually a good idea to ask your OB, let them know if that’s something that you want, and then when you see the anesthesiologist, make sure you talk to them about it because they get the final say at most hospitals.

Alyssa: And I think it’s huge to at least ask because I say the same thing to clients who wonder if their insurance covers this. The more we ask, the more they keep hearing this word doula, it will maybe someday be covered by insurance, and it will maybe someday be a norm to have a doula in the OR. So ask! Keep mentioning it!

Ashley: Absolutely. Because you are the consumer; you’re a customer. You are a paying customer, and we know that customer’s voices are important. Hospitals pay attention to those surveys. We know that. So make sure that you make your desires known, and if it’s not an option, let them know in the survey. “Hey, this is something I wanted; it wasn’t an option for me.”

Alyssa: So if you’re not allowed in, what happens?

Ashley: So what happens if we’re not allowed in is we go to the hospital with you the morning of. I’ve had some really fun times hanging out with clients ahead of their Cesarean, you know, just having fun, telling jokes, making sure they’re comfortable and feeling good about what’s happening; making sure they feel safe and secure and being there for any emotional needs that they may have during that time, and then when they go back for their Cesarean, I’m in the waiting room. So I’m there the whole time, and whenever possible, I go back into the recovery room as soon as they’re out of surgery. So what that looks like just depends on the hospital and what their policy is, but if I can go back into recovery, then Dad is there to support the mom, as well, and I’m there to help with breastfeeding, if they want to breastfeed; to see how they’re doing physically and emotionally; how do you feel right now, after that? And spend some time with them there. If I’m not allowed in recovery, then I meet them up in their room. As soon as they’re settled in their room, we still have that few hours of time together to process things emotionally and talk about how you’re feeling physically. Is there anything that I can get for you right now? Can I go get you some extra water? Something simple like that, but most of the time it’s more emotional; helping them process what’s going on; asking questions about breastfeeding. As birth doulas, we are trained to support breastfeeding, so we want to make sure that you get a good comfortable latch the first time. If there’s something tricky going on, we’ll help you get set up with a lactation consultant and make sure that you make that connection. We’ll get you the resources that you need. If all of a sudden there’s a medical concern for you or baby, we’ll make sure that you’ve got the information that you want or need. If it’s out of our scope, if it’s clinical or medical, we’re going to make sure that you know who to talk to. Hey, talk to your OB; talk to your pediatrician. Let’s ask your nurse. We’ll make sure that you’ve got the connections that you need, and if all of a sudden, you’re thinking, shoot, I really feel like I’m going to need some help at home, we can talk to you about how postpartum doulas are an option; let’s talk about that. Is that something that might be helpful? So whatever your emotional and physical needs are, we try to address those, and then we still come do a postpartum visit when you’re home and address all those same things again; spend some time together and see how you’re doing because in a week or ten days, a lot changes when you’re home, especially after a Cesarean; you’ve got a lot of healing to do, and we want to make sure that that’s all going smoothly and that you have what you need.

Alyssa: Thank you for that. If anyone has further questions about how a birth doula can support either a vaginal delivery or your Cesarean, email us at info@goldcoastdoulas.com. Remember, these moments are golden. Thanks, Ashley.

Ashley: You’re welcome!

Podcast Episode #21: Supporting a Cesarean Birth Read More »

Podcast Episode #20: Lisa’s Story about Postpartum Anxiety

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Doulas, Postpartum / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth support, newborn care, postpartum depression, postpartum doulas, stress and pregnancy

On this episode of Ask the Doulas, Lisa shares about her postpartum experience of dealing with anxiety and how doula support helped her through that challenging time. You can listen to the complete podcast on iTunes and Soundcloud. Please also visit our postpartum depression and anxiety resource list.

Alyssa: Hi, welcome back to Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas. I am Alyssa, co-owner and postpartum doula. And we’re talking to a client of mine, Lisa, again. We’ve talked to her so far about her fertility struggles, dealing with a five-week early C-section, having a baby in NICU for eight days, bringing him home, and then moving from Seattle to Grand Rapids when he was four months old. Today we’re going to talk about how all that plays into your overall mental well-being as a first-time mom. All this happens; you have a baby; you’re already – you have so many fears anyway.

Lisa: And questions.

Alyssa: Yeah, fears and questions.

Lisa: And there’s a spectrum of answers to any one question that you have, and so then you have to muddle through.

Alyssa: The answer is which one is right for you. That’s what I tell my clients. There are so many answers, but which one makes most sense to you and your family and your baby? So you moved to Grand Rapids; your baby’s four months old; you find me; you have a doula. When you first moved here, what kind of mindset were you in?

Lisa: That’s a good question. Well, I was still really postpartum. You know, I was still basically in the fourth trimester, so I was very hormonal still, and I think that the month prior was so focused on, okay, what do we need to do to get ready to move? Once I got here, it was kind of a little bit of an exhale or maybe a collapse. You know, like you’re collapsing into this new environment. And then two things I think came up for me during this time. So right when we moved, our son was – for the week or two prior, and for the first five days that we got here, he was actually sleeping through the night, which was the only time in his life that he’s done that. And then, I think, five days after we moved here, he started waking up every hour throughout the night, and he was also not a good sleeper during the day, and so I was just really not getting any sleep. And then I think for whatever reason, maybe I was out of that fourth trimester or whatever, but I think all of the trauma of the fertility, the pregnancy, the emergency C-section, and then actually having a preemie baby, that started unraveling for me.

Alyssa: You actually had the time and space to think about it?

Lisa: Yeah, it kind of started – I think the whole time I was just like, what’s the next step I need to take? You’re basically just focused on moving forward, vs. really processing anything that’s happening to you during that period because if you stop to actually absorb what’s happening, it’s just emotionally overwhelming because there’s just so much wrapped up into it, for me, at least, into what was happening. And I think I just got – I was very anxious about the fact that I don’t know anybody. I don’t know anybody here. I don’t know who to trust. I have found a postpartum doula, but I’ve never met you. I literally have never met you in my life, and I also don’t have any friends. And I’m 39, and so I feel like, oh, my gosh, I didn’t realize I kind of need to date for friends again in my life.

Alyssa: That reminds me of one of our phone calls when you were still in Seattle before you moved here. You had said, “I’m a 39-year-old mom. I know West Michigan is a lot of young parents. Am I going to be the only 39-year-old mom at the playground?!” And I was like, no!

Lisa: Because in Seattle, all of my friends were older moms. They’re career women; they’re established. Children did not come first in their chronological life events, and so I thought, oh, no. I am going to be the oldie. I am going to be the old, wrinkled mom.

Alyssa: And I think I remember telling you that yes, there are a lot of young, young families, but there are also a growing number of families who are waiting, myself being one of them, and my business partner as well, so I think – hopefully I eased your mind.

Lisa: And I for sure found that to be true.

Alyssa: You find your village, you know. You find the people you’re looking for, and the ones you’re not seeking out, they don’t even really cross your radar, I feel like. So I also remember at one point when we were working together, you telling me – when you finally got to that point where you’re like, okay, I actually have time to process this whole journey. And you had even talked about how through your pregnancy, not feeling like you were able to enjoy it because there was all this stuff going on.

Lisa: No, it was like every day – it was like this might sound too graphic, but I was like, how do I keep the baby in? What do I need to do today to keep the baby inside me and growing? And that was the focus.

Alyssa: Yeah. So you didn’t ever have this time to just love being pregnant and enjoy.

Lisa: No, I was on pelvic rest. It was just different. It was very different.

Alyssa: I remember you almost mourning that, mourning the fact that you felt like you didn’t – you missed out on something.

Lisa: Yeah, I’m so glad that you brought that up. I did, you know. It’s the idea of just being able to make love with your husband and then you’re pregnant. That’s what, literally, I thought. That’s what I expected, and then that whole process was so different. I just wanted to have a homebirth in a tub. That’s the route that I wanted to go, and then being in antepartum in a hospital for five weeks, and then going through an emergency C-section where I didn’t even get to experience what it is like to have a contraction – you know, I felt like that was robbed from me. And then I had this kind of indescribable feeling where once my son was born, then it was like – I can describe it best by saying that I was trying to grab a baby through sand, and the sand was just coming through my fingers. It was like my body felt like it had “lost the baby.” And I think that’s because – there’s probably some internal knowledge that a woman’s body has that it knows that it should carry a child for X amount of time, and mine was cut short. And the only thing that made me feel okay is I would just put Ethan, my son, in a carrier, and just have him close to me. Literally, body to body. And then I didn’t have that sense of loss. I did not expect that. Nobody mentioned that. That wasn’t in any books. I just didn’t expect that. So I was dealing with that; I think that was one of the first emotions that kind of started coming out after I moved here.

Alyssa: How long do you think you felt that feeling of, I have to have him close to me or I feel panic?

Lisa: Oh, I would say at least for the first six months. It was not a short period of time.

Alyssa: So do you remember when I told you that the first probably three or four times I saw you, I didn’t even try to take him from you? I could sense that feeling of panic in you.

Lisa: You recently told me that again, and for the life of me, I cannot remember that. That doesn’t even register. I don’t remember that. And that kind of gives you a clue as to mentally where I was at that time.

Alyssa: Well, like you explained it, it’s like trudging through molasses every day. Even throughout pregnancy, you were in the mindset of, what do I have to do today to keep this baby growing inside of me? And then once you have this baby, it was okay, how do I get through this day, that I can breastfeed my baby and try to get an hour of sleep here and there? And it doesn’t work. An hour of sleep at a time just doesn’t work, so you were kind of in this fog, and then also mentally, finally, able to process everything your body’s been through the past year and really kind of mourn all these things. And yeah, I could sense the panic in you with Ethan. But if you look at from where you started when I first met you to when I left –

Lisa: Yeah, I was like, wait, what day is Alyssa coming back?

Alyssa: You would; you would text and say are you coming today or tomorrow? It is 12 or 2? You know, you were just in a place –

Lisa: I could not remember details like that, either. And you’re like, well, no. Three days from now. I’m like, oh, no! I’m in trouble this week! I do remember – I think the first thing I went and did by myself in Grand Rapids once I got here is I remember you taking Ethan and saying no, you actually have to get outside of the house. And I think I went to Gaslight, which is less than a mile away from my house, and I think I got a pedicure or coffee, I don’t know. Something like that, that took half an hour or something, and then I was back. But I felt like, oh, gosh. That was a breath of fresh air. I didn’t have a crying baby in the back, because he didn’t particularly like the car seat. Yeah, and I guess I just – I’m so thankful for you because I feel like you not only were looking out for my son, who was my number one priority, but you were also looking out for me, which I wasn’t really able to. You know, and I’m home alone, all by myself all day, in a new place. I was a stranger in a strange land, and I just needed help. Moms need help in places that they don’t even necessarily know that they need help.

Alyssa: Well, and that’s the thing, I think, with postpartum support. We are there to help you care for the newborn, and it’s not that we won’t, but we’re there to really care for you because it’s just that we don’t think we need help or we maybe don’t know we need as much help as we really do.

Lisa: I was just trying really hard to do it all and kind of get it right, whatever that meant.

Alyssa: Right. Do we ever get it right all the time? No.

Lisa: No. On a brain that hasn’t seen more than an hour of sleep in weeks, you know, it just doesn’t work, or wasn’t working for me very well. I was trying really hard, but it wasn’t working.

Alyssa: Well, I think your family is lovely, and you’re doing a great job. You always did a great job, even on lack of sleep. You did the best you could, and Ethan is wonderful. Is there anything else you want to tell people about dealing with anxiety and about postpartum support?

Lisa: Yeah, there was this great documentary event a couple months back. It was held – I think Gold Coast Doulas was one of the sponsors.

Alyssa: When the Bough Breaks?

Lisa: Yeah, and it’s a documentary about women with postpartum depression, and it wasn’t until I actually watched that movie that I understood what postpartum depression actually is and that it is a spectrum of an emotional state that can be anywhere from low anxiety to psychosis. And I literally thought – because I think what you hear in the news about postpartum depression is more the psychosis stories, and I thought, well, I’m not having hallucinations, or I don’t want to harm my child or anything like that, so I’m “fine.” But once I watched the documentary, I realized I was definitely on the spectrum of high anxiety with a newborn and even infant. I would say for sure for the first eleven months. And I would just say again, find somebody who knows that they’re talking about, who’s thought of as kind of best in their field. A postpartum doulas would be a great example. Talk to somebody and get support. Don’t sit there in your living room and panic and worry.

Alyssa: Don’t just try to deal with it yourself.

Lisa: Yeah, don’t just try to deal with it yourself because I think I did, and if I would have reached out more, like if I would have been more forthcoming with you earlier about it, I think it would have helped me a lot.

Alyssa: Maybe wouldn’t have lasted eleven months.

Lisa: Yeah, because I think I waited until maybe month nine to really talk to you about it. I was like, “Alyssa, I just – I’m kind of feeling these things. Do you think I have postpartum depression?” And that’s a long time.

Alyssa: Talking about it is hard, though. And even with your partner or spouse, it’s sometimes hard.

Lisa: Well, and it’s sometimes fleeting, too. It’s not like every day you feel bad, but it’s sometimes in the morning you feel bad; sometimes in the afternoon you feel bad, or you feel particularly overwhelmed by this new developmental stage that your baby is going through. You know, just get – just talk to other good women. Get support.

Alyssa: Talking about it is the first step.

Lisa: For sure.

Alyssa: I’ll list some resources for postpartum depression, anxiety, and psychosis on our website, and we have some on our Facebook page, as well. Thank you so much for talking to us.

Lisa: Thank you.

Podcast Episode #20: Lisa’s Story about Postpartum Anxiety Read More »

Podcast Episode #19: Lisa’s Postpartum Journey

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Birth / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth doula, birth support, breastfeeding, childbirth, doulas, newborn care, postpartum doulas, sleep deprivation

On this episode of Ask the Doulas, Alyssa talks with Lisa about her postpartum doula and how having a doula helped with her recovery. You can listen to the complete podcast on iTunes and SoundCloud.

Alyssa: Hi, welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas. I am Alyssa Veneklase. I am co-owner and postpartum doula. Today we are talking to a client, Lisa, again. Hello, Lisa.

Lisa: Hello.

Alyssa: Last time we talked about her and her husband’s struggle with fertility and how that looked for her. Just to kind of recap, it took them about two and a half years, and then she ended up with an emergency C-section five weeks early. So we’re going to talk about what her life looked like once she got home. So Ethan spent five days in NICU, and you said you were ready. You were ready after that; five days was enough. Is that because it was scary having a baby in the NICU, or you just wanted to go home?

Lisa: Everything is very medical and monitored, and it feels – there’s definitely a separation between the natural kind of mother-and-child bonding, I think, that happens in those early hours, those early days. So for example, when I had the C-section, they wouldn’t actually let me go visit him until I was able to get up out of bed by myself and go to the bathroom. So I ended up not being able to see him for the first 17 hours.

Alyssa: You were like, “I will get up and pee by myself!”

Lisa: If this is the last thing that I do, I am going to get out of this bed and go pee! Yeah, so, that made me anxious because I was literally sitting in this hospital bed by myself in a room by myself because my husband was with the baby doing skin-to-skin, and I was counting the minutes. When do I get to go meet him?

Alyssa: So five days later, you get to bring him home.

Lisa: Actually, eight days later. Yeah, we bring him home, and it was so funny because as much as I wanted to leave the NICU, the minute we got home, he wasn’t hooked up to a monitor so you don’t know his oxygen saturation levels; you don’t know his temperature; you don’t know all these things that the machines are telling you. And I literally was fearful that he was going to die in the middle of the night. I’m like, “Well, he’s just going to stop breathing, and I’m not going to know because the beeper isn’t going to go off.” And so then I had this anxiety about not having all of the faculties that you have in the hospital. But luckily, we knew right from the beginning that – we had a birth doula who played a very different role than what I expected her to play in the beginning.

Alyssa: Yeah, absolutely. How did your birth doula end up supporting you with an emergency C-section?

Lisa: She didn’t make it to the hospital in time because it was – it happened basically in 45 minutes, and so just with the distance, she couldn’t get there, but she sat with me in the room after I recovered for several hours, when I was coming down off the gas and stuff that you get. Not gas; it’s an injection, but anyway, you know, when you’re really coming out of the stuff that they give you, and that was really helpful. I’m glad that I wasn’t alone then. But we knew that we also wanted a postpartum doula. Neither of us had been around babies very much in our adult life, and we wanted somebody who was an expert with infants that knew the research and the range of – what are the options, when I have a question? You know, about sleeping or whatever; that would be a great one because we did struggle a lot with sleeping. What are the different approaches and why, and what are the pros and cons to each? I talked a lot to my postpartum doula about sleeping and how to encourage sleeping, creating the right environment and all of that. But otherwise, I didn’t know what I was doing. I was also recovering from an abdominal surgery, and I just plain needed help, you know? I was struggling with getting up and down stairs because it was still quite painful. And so we had a postpartum doula come in every morning from six to nine through the work week and then on the weekends, my husband and I were together, so then we were able to kind of tag-team, and that was obviously different. And then we also did have several overnight stays. But even simple things the postpartum doula helped me with was, how do you get up with a new, new baby, at least get yourself in the shower, and eating breakfast, before you’re kind of down on the couch nursing them for the first time or for the first nap during the day? And I think that would have taken me weeks to figure out.

Alyssa: To figure out, like if I get up a half an hour early and try to get in the shower…

Lisa: Yes! And just a shower and eating before you’re starting the whole rigmarole of the day, especially when you’re breastfeeding, because I was really hungry – that makes a huge difference.

Alyssa: Well, and most women, especially in the beginning when you feel like you’re nursing all the time –

Lisa: All the time!

Alyssa: And you’re so hungry and so thirsty, and then they tell me, well, I don’t have time. You need to make time. If you’re not drinking, you’re not eating, your milk supply is just going to start to slowly diminish.

Lisa: Yeah. And then I couldn’t do things like go to the grocery store; that was a big challenge, or do any type of meal planning. So then our postpartum doula – we said, this is the food that we like, and so she basically created some meals, went to the grocery store, brought them back, did some or all of the food prep for the different meals, and that was just life-saving as well. But mostly I think for me it was a trusted partner. Like, who can I just ask anything to and it be just fine? And maybe it’s lack of knowledge for me or just that I don’t know who else to ask this question to.

Alyssa: Well, it’s overwhelming your first time. You literally know nothing. I mean, very little.

Lisa: I didn’t even know how to swaddle. I mean, swaddling was a big learning curve for me. I never really got it tight enough. In the beginning; I eventually did, but –

Alyssa: He’d just kind of ninja his way out?

Lisa: Yes, he did! Yeah. This person, this woman, this angel of mine, her name was Kate, and she was wonderful.

Alyssa: Now, we should mention – we didn’t mention that you lived in Seattle at this point.

Lisa: Right.

Alyssa: So you were not in Grand Rapids. When did you find out you were moving?

Lisa: When our son was three months old. He had just turned three months.

Alyssa: Yeah, because you had just gotten here when he was about four months, right? So you had a month to prepare. How was that?

Lisa: I think I was in a little bit of denial about how much needed to be done. We decided to spend more money to push the easy button, so we hired movers to actually pack us for the first time as well as do the cross-country move, and that was worth every dime that we spent, even though that is not cheap. It was really worth it. And I just focused on my recovery and my baby and the bonding and just let all that other stuff go.

Alyssa: So then you got here, and you had Judd’s family here. You have no family here, and your doula in Seattle found me.

Lisa: Right, so then I was talking to her, and I said, “You know, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know anybody there. How am I going to unpack into a new house, meet anybody?” And she’s like, “Oh, well, let me just do some research. I’ll do some looking for you today,” and she came back the next day, and she was like, “I found somebody.” And it was Alyssa. And I was like, “Perfect! Perfect! At least I have a doula that I can totally lean on!” And that was you, and…

Alyssa: We met, and the rest is history, right?

Lisa: The rest is history. And my husband’s family helped us move into the house, and that was unbelievably healthy. Healthy? Helpful! I still have mom-brain.

Alyssa: It never goes away.

Lisa: I transpose these words and then it doesn’t make sense.

Alyssa: It doesn’t go away. It’s not pregnancy-brain; it’s mom-brain, for sure.

Lisa: So at the end of the day, I’m really glad that we moved. I think it was a really, really hard time. I think moving may be – if you can wait until your baby is closer to one or something, that might be easier, an easier transition for the mom just because you’re so exhausted in the beginning. But Grand Rapids is really family-friendly, and I’m just so appreciative of that, and I feel like it’s a good place to raise kids.

Alyssa: We’re glad you’re here.

Lisa: I’m glad that we’re here. And I’m glad to have met you! Thank goodness for you!

Alyssa: Yeah, we worked eight months, maybe, seven months? Off and on; it was a lot in the beginning.

Lisa: Yeah, until he was about a year, yeah. At a year, I kind of felt like, oh, the weight of all of being a new mom kind of lifted a little bit for me, and I just felt more confident, I guess.

Alyssa: Well, and he was gaining so much more independence that it was almost – I remember one day you saying “It’s so great. He’s sitting up and he’s doing all these things, but he’s not my little baby anymore.” It was like this – I’m so glad he’s doing this because now he can play by himself for a little bit on the floor and I can actually go sit down and eat or do dishes or something, but you struggled with this. He’s my baby, but he’s not my little baby anymore, and he’s doing all these other things. And I think we all struggle with that. Me, I only have one child, so every phase, every developmental stage, I just – good and bad, I love it.

Lisa: Because that’s the only one you get.

Alyssa: Yeah. So I guess that’s a piece of advice I give, especially if you’re only having one –and you may end up trying for more; who knows, but you just – it helps you get through the hard times. Even the sleepless nights; it’s all temporary because soon he’s going to be eight, right? He’s not going to want to sleep with you, and he’s not going to want to wake up. You’re going to have to wake him up!

Lisa: That’s right. I can’t even imagine that! He’s still waking up probably three times, religiously, every night. But it’s a lot better than what he was.

Alyssa: You’re getting sleep.

Lisa: Yeah, I’m getting enough sleep now. I’m not crazy like I was; sleepless-crazy. You know, an hour or 45 minutes of continuous sleep, all during the day, if that’s all you get, that is not enough for a person to have their wits about them. It’s just not.

Alyssa: No. I think we’ll talk next time with Lisa about the effects of sleep deprivation and how – you know, a pregnancy journey that doesn’t go as planned along with sleep deprivation and an emergency C-section; all these things; how does that play in your brain. So stay tuned; we’ll talk next to Lisa about that. Thank you for sharing today!

Lisa: Thanks.

Podcast Episode #19: Lisa’s Postpartum Journey Read More »

World Doula Week 2018

Birth / Alyssa Veneklase / birth doula, birth support, childbirth, doulas, newborn care, postpartum doulas

Today’s blog is written by Kristin Revere, Certified Birth and Postpartum Doula and Certified Sacred Postpartum Mother Roaster.

As the end of World Doula Week nears, I feel I must speak my truth.

Before having kids my purpose was to support women in politics. I wanted more voices in office and wanted to run for office myself. I still do. I wanted women to feel confident raising money. I still do. When I was pregnant and busy working on a Governor’s race, I felt a loss of control. I was used to planning everything in life. Birth was something I couldn’t predict; even my pregnancy had twists and turns when I developed pre-eclampsia. I didn’t know what a doula was eight years ago, and I wish I had. The second time around, I did and we hired doulas before anyone even knew I was pregnant.

Why doula? I am a doula because I have the honor of truly seeing women when they are strong and when they are vulnerable. I have the honor of seeing their partners supporting them tenderly. I stand with women who struggle with loss and infertility. I stand with women who make hard choices. I support them, without judgment in their decisions, to prepare for unmedicated births, epidural births, cesarean births. I walk with them when they choose to breastfeed, exclusively pump or bottle feed. I acknowledge them when they choose to stay home, work from home or go back to work. I remind them to surrender and to breathe. I remind them to slow down. I remind my clients that this is only temporary and that they are strong. I still cry after every birth… mostly while sitting in my car. Mostly tears of joy and sometimes the tears are painful. You know those cries when your full body shakes? I have experienced my share of those, as well.

It was five years ago today that I took my family to Virginia for a four-day Sacred Pregnancy Instructor retreat.

That experience changed everything for me. I began to understand how to support women fully. I started teaching classes two weeks after my training. Soon after that, I took a Sacred Postpartum training in Georgia and then a four-day Sacred Doula training in Florida as I was asked to support my students at their births.

I sat in circles with my Sacred Pregnancy students for eight weeks and we were raw and real with each other. We stripped down our layers and expressed our fears and our dreams to each other. I believe that women need to connect with each other in that way. Women desire to feel understood and supported and to be fully seen and accepted.

I wasn’t sure birth doula was my calling at first. At my Sacred Doula training, I was seen as least likely to make it due to my fear of blood. I got over that fear quickly, by the way. Very few of the women in my training are still doulas. The average doula does this work for three years before burnout. A lot of this is because of the low pay, on-call lifestyle, the inability to predict how long you will be away from your family, the physical and emotional stress of birth work, and more.

I proudly hold two birth doula certifications and am a certified Postpartum and infant care doula. My next step is to become a certified childbirth educator.

I started Gold Coast Doulas with my business partner to better support families. Our birth doulas work in teams and therefore will stay in the field longer because of a better work – life balance; doulas who can give more because they aren’t always on call. They can plan for a vacation, a birthday party, or a camping trip and still take clients.

Our clients get the experience, support, and perspectives from two doulas throughout pregnancy, and if labor is long they will have a second refreshed doula at their side as needed. This model better supports our doulas as well. They have mentorship, support, and a place to grow. We take care of each other and honor the choices of those who step away from the work after having another child or for family reasons. They know they also can come back if circumstances change.

Gold Coast Doulas is made up of 15 birth and postpartum doulas, an infant massage instructor, a board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC), and a placenta encapsulator. We keep growing and adapting to the needs of our clients.

With the way birth support so strongly called to me, I never thought I would like postpartum doula work the way I do. Birth work is important, and I know now postpartum care is even more important.

There is a pressure in America to get back into skinny jeans, to get back to work, to be supermom. The focus after birth is always on the baby. Who is there to check on how the mother is coping? Everyone wants to hold the baby and bring gifts for the baby.

We need to acknowledge the mother.

We make sure she is nourished, rested, her house is picked up, we allow her time to shower or sip on tea on her porch. We acknowledge her fears and support their choices. We also help when the partner or mother is traveling. We help them manage the work, care for a baby, play with a toddler.

Doulas allow the client to breathe, and let them know that they are strong and that this is only temporary. We acknowledge them. We all want to be seen and we all want to be fully heard. That is why I do this work. We must support each other. We shouldn’t have to go at this alone.

This work is my true purpose. I see you, I stand with you, I walk with you. I am a doula.

World Doula Week 2018 Read More »

Meet Our New Postpartum Doula, Gina!

Doulas / Alyssa Veneklase / doulas, gold coast doulas, postpartum doulas

We have another amazing postpartum doula to introduce to you! Read on to find out more about Gina and her family.

1. What did you do before becoming a Doula?
Before becoming a Doula, I nannied for two years until I had my first daughter. When she arrived I became a stay at home mom. A year later my second daughter was born. I’ve been home with my girls for almost 4 years.

2. What inspired you to become a Doula?
As soon as I became a mom, I absolutely fell in love with all things birth and babies. I loved labor and delivery and the new season of motherhood that I found myself in. I enjoyed all of the ups and downs of adding a new life to our family. I felt inspired to bring that joy into my Doula work. I want to support new parents in this incredible season of twists and turns. My heart is to come in and cheerlead parents and help them achieve their vision for what family life will look like for them.

3. Tell us about your family.
I have been married to my incredible husband, Daniel, for five years. He is currently studying to become a licensed electrician and works for Buist Electric. We have two amazing daughters, Nora and Estelle. They will be four and three this coming June. We love spending time together as a family. We especially enjoy going to parks and museums together.

4. What is your favorite vacation spot and why?
I love Traverse city. I love wandering in and out of all of the cute shops, going to the beach, and eating at all of the delicious restaurants.

5. Name your top 5 bands/musicians and what you like about them
I enjoy a mix of music. I like Adele, Mumford and Sons, John Mark McMillan, Amos Lee, Ben Folds. I love anything emotional, catchy, and beautiful. I like just about every genre.

6. What’s the best advice you’ve given to new families?
Trust yourself. You know your baby and yourself better than anyone else. Trust you instincts and intuition.

7. What do you consider your Doula super power to be?
Calming fussy babies and getting them to sleep.

8. What’s your favorite food.
I love breakfast food.

9. What’s your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast.
I love Holland!

10. What are you reading right now?
The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin

11. Who are your role models?
My mother in law, Gayle. She was a stay at home mom to seven kids. She is strong, loving, and consistent in everything she does. Also, my pastor’s wife, Ang. She is humble and a woman of strong character. I aspire to be just like both of these amazing women.

Meet Our New Postpartum Doula, Gina! Read More »

Meet our new Birth and Postpartum Doula, Julie!

Doulas / Alyssa Veneklase / birth doula, doulas, gold coast doulas, postpartum doulas

We’re excited to welcome Julie Skripka to the Gold Coast team as a Birth and Postpartum Doula! Let’s get to know her a little better.

1) What did you do before you became a doula?

Before starting my doula adventure, I was home raising and homeschooling my 4 children. I currently nanny and run the nursery at church. I went to Michigan State University and have an English degree with minors in Child Development and Communications.

2) What inspired you to become a doula?

I love babies and helping others! I want to empower and support women through this life change.

3) Tell us about your family.

I have been married to my husband, Nick, since August 2005. We have 4 awesome children, Harper, Hunter, Heath, and Hope. My family is my whole world!

4) What is your favorite vacation spot and why?

We love going to the Silver Lake Sand Dunes. Sun, sand and fun! I grew up going there as a kid and it’s fun to bring my kids and make new memories.

5) Name your top five bands/musicians and tell us what you love about them.

Skillet: They put on an amazing show! I love how I can feel the power in their music and they sing about my hero!
Mumford and Sons: The mix of instruments this folk rock group plays gives them a unique sound. It’s hard to stop listening to them!
Jack Johnson: Things are always better together! His lyrics are smart and I love his acoustic folk sound.
Lauren Daigle: Lauren’s voice is beautiful and the messages in her songs always uplift me.
Toby Mac: His energy is contagious!

6) What is the best advice you have given to new families?

Do what works for your family and love on your babies often! They grow so fast!!

7) What do you consider your doula superpower to be?

Calming babies and helping them sleep. I have been asked if I’m magic!!

8) What is your favorite food?

Tacos!!

9) What is your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast?

Any Lake Michigan beach at sunset is pretty sweet!

10) What are you reading now?

The Birth Partner by Penny Simkins.

11) Who are your role models?

My grandma is my role model! She had 7 kids. I admire her for her love of family and her huge heart. She taught me to spoil my people with love, attention, and gifts. To listen and remember what people say and to always check back in with them. She had a spunk for life I carry in my heart with me everyday. She encouraged me to be me and loved me unconditionally, and I want others to feel the way she always made me feel!

Meet our new Birth and Postpartum Doula, Julie! Read More »

Sleep Training is a Four Letter Word

[un]common sense, Doulas, Parenting / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, baby sleeping advice, baby sleeping tips, gentle sleep, how to get a newborn to sleep, how to make a baby sleep, newborn care, postpartum doulas, sleep consultant, sleep training, sleeping and babies, sleeping and newborns

Sleep Training. Those two words can stir up some pretty aggressive emotions for some parents. I guess it’s because there are so many methodologies, many of which are controversial, and there are so many different thoughts on parenting and what is right and wrong.

My answer is there’s no one way to do this! If there was, it would be simple.

Whether a family wants to co-sleep or have baby in his own crib, it’s not my job to judge their decisions. My job is to figure out a solution that works well for them.

Sleep training shouldn’t be a controversial topic. Everyone needs and wants a full night’s rest. I don’t know many (actually any) people who would argue with that, but how you get there is where it becomes tricky. We don’t want to let our child cry for hours or make them feel neglected, which many methodologies tend to do.

Sleep training, at it’s most basic level, is a plan to help the mental, physical, and emotional well-being of both parents and baby. Without sleep, parents are exhausted, mentally drained, and overly-emotional. A sleep-deprived baby can find it hard to nap during the day, be too exhausted to nurse, cry all the time, or just zone out because daily activities are too stimulating.

A good sleep consultant will take all factors into account. They will listen to your story, your history, your values, and your end goal. They will come up with a solution that works for everyone, not a method that works for “most”.

As parents, I think we need to give up on this idea that there is only one certain way to do things. It’s great to have a plan, but they must always be flexible. I see parents beat themselves up over plans that aren’t working, especially feeding and sleeping patterns. They see their friend’s baby sleeping through the night or their niece on a perfect feeding and nap schedule. They’re given all sorts of advice that doesn’t work for them, they read all the books and each one gives them conflicting ideas, so they end up more confused.

I had one client tell me this, “I read all the books but none of them ever told me what to do in the night when my baby wouldn’t stop crying. We did the consistent night time routine, we did the ‘shuffle’ slowly out of the room, we tried to soothe him back to sleep, but nothing ever worked. We felt defeated.”

Books and articles on sleep can only help to a certain extent. You need a physical presence that can ask questions, assess your individual situation, and come up with an individualized plan. Most of the time there are other factors at play that the books aren’t going to mention.

As a Certified Infant and Child Sleep Consultant, Certified Postpartum Doula, and Newborn Care Specialist, I love helping families set goals and figure out realistic ways to reach them. There’s nothing more satisfying than happy parents and a happy baby.

Contact me to talk about a customized sleep plan for your family.

Sleep Training is a Four Letter Word Read More »

Podcast Episode #2: Having Kids Later in Life – Kristin’s Birth Journey

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Birth / Alyssa Veneklase / antepartum doula, babies, birth doula, childbirth, postpartum doulas, pregnancy

In this episode of Ask the Doulas, Kristin shares about her birth experiences and how she started the journey to become a birth doula. You can listen to this complete podcast on iTunes.

Alyssa: Welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas. I am Alyssa, co-owner and postpartum doula, and today we’re talking to Kristin, the co-owner and birth doula.

Kristin: Yeah, birth and postpartum.

Alyssa: She interviewed me last episode about my journey throughout pregnancy and what made me want to become a doula, and today we’re going to talk about her journey and what made her want to become a birth and postpartum doula.

Kristin: Yeah, so I had kids later in life, so I got myself into that high-risk category by age. I was 36 with my first pregnancy and had my daughter at 37. And I had a really great pregnancy, despite a high-stress job in political fundraising, and my nurse midwife kept saying throughout the pregnancy that I was having the perfect pregnancy and there were no worries. My health was great. My diet was great. And I planned myself the perfect, natural birth. I took Lamaze classes; my husband and I practiced; I watched all the documentaries; read all the books. I like to plan my way through life in general, and I thought that everything would just be the way I wanted it to be. And at 37 weeks, I got diagnosed with preeclampsia. My blood pressure was rising; that was the first of the signs. And so I got put on modified bedrest, which was super stressful for someone who felt like I had to do a million things before baby arrived: getting all of the things ready, the car seat installed, and running all the errands and finishing up work and all of that. And so I had to really take it easy, and every midwife appointment was beyond stressful because you get the blood pressure check. And so I was nervous about that.

Alyssa: Which made your blood pressure go up.

Kristin: It made it worse. So they kept watching me, and every week, there were more and more signs. So I got put on full bedrest, which was really frustrating. I was lucky enough to live above – for those of you that live in Grand Rapids, we had just moved back from Lansing, and I was living above The Electric Cheetah, and we had this place that was very modern, very open, the first tenants. And all of a sudden, we get married and pregnant, and there wasn’t a whole lot of room for a baby and not the ideal place to be pregnant. But the staff at The Electric Cheetah became like neighbors since we didn’t really have neighbors on Wealthy Street, and so they would bring up food to me when my husband was at work. They’d serve it to me on their fine china. He would call in different meals for me, and they would bring it up to my place.

Alyssa: So nice!

Kristin: Yeah, it was amazing. So that’s how I handled bedrest. I certainly could have used an antepartum doula for bedrest. I didn’t know what one was back then. My daughter’s almost seven, and so that wasn’t something that people really knew of.

Alyssa: Yeah, most of our postpartum doulas do bedrest, too.

Kristin: Yes, and our birth doulas do some of that as well with birth planning and some of the different aspects related to getting ready for birth. So yeah, I didn’t have a bedrest doula or anything like that.

Alyssa: I’m wondering, for those who don’t know much about preeclampsia, besides high blood pressure, why do you have be on bedrest? And for someone who may be worried about it or someone who may have it?

Kristin: Yeah, essentially, they don’t want you to be too active so the blood pressure keeps rising.

Alyssa: And what causes it?

Kristin: I’m not going to get into all of the different medical things, and women have it for different reasons, but of course, if they’re worried about a stroke, the providers are watching to make sure that mom doesn’t have a stroke. They’re worried about baby as well as the mother. Some women develop headaches. I did not. Some women develop swelling in their ankles. I didn’t really develop that, but by the time I was on full bedrest, I had protein in my urine, which they worry about kidneys and different organs going. So I was starting to have trouble with my kidneys, and I got an induction. So I ended my bedrest with an induction in a hospital. I remember being overwhelmed. I didn’t have doulas; again, I didn’t really know what a doula was with my first. So I called my Lamaze instructor; like, how do we do this? I still don’t want any interventions. Still working with the midwives. And it was very scary because I felt like I was alone in my room with my husband, and inductions can be long and boring, and you don’t really feel a whole lot. I had my membranes swept the day before and went in and had Cervidil, which can be taken out if there are any reactions with the baby. So mine was inserted, and my daughter didn’t react that well, so I didn’t have it in as long as they’d intended. And things ended up going quickly, but I had a lot of back labor, and again, I was alone. I didn’t want my husband to touch me because he couldn’t provide enough pressure. I felt like I wanted him to just, like, punch my back. Nothing was firm enough. And he didn’t know what to do; he was just in over his head, completely overwhelmed, kept referencing manuals. We had to make all these decisions as far as interventions and what’s the best thing to do, because my daughter had decelerations in her heart beat, and they were worried about her, and there was the threat of a cesarean. But I was very fortunate in my journey, other than back labor, which is an experience in itself. I didn’t have any major interventions; I never had Pitocin. I wasn’t on magnesium for my preeclampsia. I did not have an epidural. I was able to move around the room, and a nurse came in, who certainly had some doula qualities about her, and helped me move my baby, and we did hands and knees on a birthing ball on the bed, and all of a sudden, she turned, and I was able to push her out. I could feel her turn, and all of a sudden, it was like, I feel like I’m pooping. And Patrick’s like, you’re really not.

Alyssa: That’s exactly how I knew.

Kristin: And I said, “Can you just check, because I think I’m pooping!” And my daughter was born four pushes later, and it was a crazy experience, an overwhelming experience, and I remember – we’ll get into some of my journey with my daughter after she was born in another episode, but I remember going into my midwife at the six-week checkup, and she was talking to me about family planning and what to do, and because I was 37 and had preeclampsia. There were big decisions that needed to be made if we wanted to expand our family with another baby. We had my stepdaughter and then my daughter, and we wanted to have a third child. And so my midwife recommended that we give it some time for me to heal, but that I should probably start trying when she was about a year. And so I got pregnant pretty easily and quickly, just like the first time. I was very fortunate in that, but I was worried about getting preeclampsia the second time. There was a lot of chance that I would have that recurrence, so I was watched throughout the entire pregnancy. And so I hired doulas before I even told anyone else. They were the first call I made, and I wanted that support through pregnancy even more so than at the birth. I felt like if I could go through what I did without any sort of interventions the first time with preeclampsia and back labor, then I could rack out the birth, but the pregnancy scared me. Preeclampsia, getting that again, scared me. And so they supported me through the pregnancy; gave me a lot of resources. I listened to my midwives, did a lot of swimming, kept the stress down. I wasn’t working in politics like I was before. I was doing consulting. And I talked to lactation consultants because I was nursing my daughter through my pregnancy, and so –

Alyssa: So that’s not a failsafe planning method.

Kristin: No, it’s not.

Alyssa: There are a lot of people who think it is.

Kristin: No, it’s not failsafe. So yeah, there were a lot of things that I felt like having doula support really helped me with during that pregnancy, and I had an amazing intervention-free birth, and my son was huge, but he had no issues. He wasn’t in the NICU like my daughter. I never had any elevated blood pressure; no headaches, no signs of anything. But I was on that high watch, especially because I was getting closer to 40 by that time. I had my son at 39, so I was definitely in that advanced maternal age category by then, so it was a journey. So I started becoming more and more curious about doula support, but I don’t like blood. And I don’t really like hospitals. I didn’t; I do now. I didn’t like hospitals. I remember any time my dad had a procedure in a hospital, I was always just overwhelmed by it. I didn’t like to visit friends in the hospital who had babies. I didn’t want to be a patient myself. I had never had anything, no surgeries, nothing done in the hospital. And so for me to be a doula, where most doulas do the majority of their work in the hospital, didn’t really make sense, but I was still fascinated by birth and everything to do with it. So after having my daughter I got really active in breastfeeding groups and brought a national nonprofit to Grand Rapids. We had a big rally and speakers, and that was phenomenal. And that started me getting to know other birth workers, and I kept in touch with my doulas, and I started teaching Sacred Pregnancy classes after my son was born because that book really helped me, again, to avoid preeclampsia with the mental and spiritual aspect of birth and really also to be intentional about my pregnancy, because with your first pregnancy, you can connect with that baby, and there’s so many special moments between you and your husband or partner. But when you had a toddler running around or other children, it’s hard to connect to your baby. So Sacred Pregnancy gave me that outlet in journaling and meditation and affirmations. It did so much for me that I decided to become one of the first instructors in the US and went to a training with my whole family when my son was four months. So I had signed up for everything during my pregnancy, and I started – I had promoted my classes, because I’m an overachiever like you, before I even went to the training, and so I had a class set up two weeks after I got back, and ran the first class for my training class, and I had this amazing experience in Virginia with Anni Daulter, who’s one of my dear friends and the author and creator of the Sacred Pregnancy book and the Sacred Living movement, and that started my journey. I started teaching classes, and my students wanted me to be their doula. I’m like, “No, I can’t be your doula.” They’re like, “Yeah, you can. Just be at my birth. You know, we’ve spent all this time; you’ve been great.” And so I started teaching my classes under a doula collectives umbrella and decided that I was getting enough inquiries that I might try it out. Sacred Pregnancy started a doula training program, so again, I took my whole family to Florida this time so I could nurse my babies and go through this training program. It was four days, very intense, and a lot of journeying for me in some of my fears that I had surrounding being a doula, especially with blood. Like, it was pretty wild. We wrote our fears on each other’s body parts, the other doulas, and mine was blood. Everybody’s joking because they’re like, “There’s no way you can be a doula. That’s all you see is bodily fluids. There’s going to be fluid everywhere.”

Alyssa: So how did you do it? How did you get past that?

Kristin: I feel like I just set the intention that I could do it.

Alyssa: That there’s a purpose behind this.

Kristin: And it’s not a big deal, and there was so much more to being a birth worker. So my first birth, I feel like it was a sign, but my client had a lot of blood loss and hemorrhaging and so on, and I didn’t pass out. So I was like, I can do this!

Alyssa: Test completed.

Kristin: This is a big test, and I rocked it. And I have so many husbands or partners that have that fear, and I’m like, “I’ve been there, and I’m actually a doula.” I never really liked to be around blood. I would cut myself and freak out. But it’s different because, yeah, it’s not a cut. It’s not an injury. It’s a natural, normal process. So I became a birth doula and started doing some postpartum ceremonies through Sacred Pregnancy. I had gone to another four-day training, this time in Georgia, and it was all about mother roasting and doing closing ceremonies and belly binding and herbal teas and herbalism, which I didn’t get into all that much, but I really loved the ceremonial aspects of the postpartum traditions and studying Malaysian culture. But I kept focusing more on my love of birth and helping mothers through pregnancy and their transitions, especially specializing in high-risk moms because that was my background, as well as moms who were seeking a natural birth. It was a year-plus into my birth journey before I supported a client with an epidural, and the first epidural client I had, I was like, this is amazing. We had fun, music was going, like, wow. This is totally different than anything else I had experienced because I was supporting very high-risk clients who were maybe even on bedrest their entire pregnancy; had medical conditions; they were getting cesareans that were scheduled and they wanted me to support them through that. Or clients who were either having a homebirth or seeking an unmedicated birth. And some had Pitocin and didn’t choose an epidural. There were all of these factors, but I didn’t have an epidural for a year, and I was taking a couple clients a month, so that was a wild experience. Now I have everything, but when I started out, it was kind of one or the other. High-risk, or someone seeking an unmedicated birth, and a lot of my clients were my students in class, which I was able to have this amazing bond with them for eight weeks with women connecting with each other. So yeah, I just fell in love with it, but I feel like the postpartum end of things is so needed, as well. It’s not just the pregnancy; it’s after, and women feeling like they don’t have a village and that they’re alone. And I, certainly, with two-under-two was overwhelmed and needed support, and it was hard to go places with two. The store was a challenge and going to the pediatrician’s office if my husband couldn’t help in the winter, because I had babies during – well, a Halloween baby, and a mid-January. So that’s not always that easy. So I could have had a doula come along with me to the store or the pediatrician or whatever, bundling two young kids. So I just love supporting everything to do with the journey to be a parent and to expanding the family and I feel like – you know, women in traditional cultures, they have this village to rely on; they have a sisterhood, and here, especially with people being so transient, we don’t necessarily have our families. People oftentimes isolate you if you once you have a kid, it’s like, okay, I’m going to give you some time to just deal with your baby. But really, we need help, and doulas do things that are different than what friends do or what parents do or other family members. We’ll do whatever we can, but we’re not just focused on the baby; we’re focused on the mother and her emotional needs as well as the father and his needs, which can be very different in the processing of becoming a parent for the first time, or the second or third time. So we focus on the family unit as a whole which is so unique and so needed, in my opinion.

Alyssa: You can email us at info@goldcoastdoulas.com. Check us out at our website, goldcoastdoulas.com, and find us on Instagram and Facebook. We hope to hear from you.

Podcast Episode #2: Having Kids Later in Life – Kristin’s Birth Journey Read More »

Podcast Episode #1: One and Done! Alyssa’s Doula Journey

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Birth, Doulas / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, childbirth, doulas, postpartum doulas

In this episode of Ask the Doulas, Alyssa shares about her birth experience and her decision to have only child, as well as her journey to becoming a postpartum doula. You can listen to the complete podcast on iTunes.

Kristin: Welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas. I’m Kristin.

Alyssa: And I’m Alyssa.

Kristin: And our topic today is all about why we decided to become doulas, so we’ll begin with Alyssa’s journey.

Alyssa: Yeah, so I used to work in a male-dominated field. I worked in the construction industry, and then I got pregnant, had a baby, and I think as with most women, they would say it just completely rocked their world. The way I saw things changed, and I wasn’t unhappy at my job, but I knew I needed to do something different. So I started to wonder, who’s helping all these women who are having hard pregnancies and they don’t have any support once they come home? And the term “doula” is something that I knew, but I didn’t know what a postpartum doula was, and I remember, Kristin, meeting you, and you were the first one who actually said the term “postpartum doula” to me, and I was like, “Oh, my gosh, that exists?” And I started researching it, and I’m like, that’s it. That’s exactly what I’ve been looking for. So I started looking into certification organizations, found one, and it fit well. I took the course, and they give you 18 months to complete it, but I am a total bookwork and nerd, and I think it took me about six months. I got all my bookwork, all my essays and reading and all the clients that I needed and everything that is supposed to take 18 months. And then I just did it, and I just have always felt compelled to help women and children, and it was even stronger after having a baby.

Kristin: We were in the same training together, which is pretty awesome.

Alyssa: Yeah, so I’ve known you since the beginning of my journey.

Kristin: Yeah, it’s so cool. So it was during pregnancy that you sort of started feeling different about the woman’s journey and experience through motherhood. What were your family planning options as far as future kids and how you handle your journey as a mother?

Alyssa: It’s funny. Family planning turned into a whole new concept because you spend so many years trying not to get pregnant, and then all of a sudden, you are trying to, and it’s more difficult than you expect. And we ended up – I think I was 33 when I got pregnant and 34 when I had her, and that is by no means old, but something in me said that I don’t want to have kids past 35. So I decided when we had her, when we had our daughter, we were going to give it a year, and then make that decision then. But I kind of knew right away that we only wanted one, and it’s really strange because my husband and I both grew up with siblings. And so as far as family planning, we didn’t really think about that during pregnancy, but knowing that we were kind of going into this being “one and done,” we had – yeah, that’s the first thing my midwife asked me at my six-week checkup is, “What’s your family planning? How are you planning for your future family?” And I don’t know yet. I don’t know. So yeah, we’re just good with one, and it’s been taken care of.

Kristin: And do people, especially in West Michigan that’s so family-centered, ask you and your husband a lot of questions about whether you’re going to have another baby or have a sister or brother for your child?

Alyssa: Of course they do. You know, the second you get married, it’s – well, first you’re dating, and it’s, “When are you getting married? When are you getting married?” And it’s pry, pry, pry. And then you get married, and it’s, “When are you having a baby? When are you having a baby?” And it’s all these prying questions with the best of intentions, and they just want to see you have a baby, but knowing what I know now and all the struggles people go through, it’s a really tough question to ask and an even tougher one to answer. And I feel like when you have baby number one, trying for baby number two, it’s still the same. Just because you had baby number one doesn’t mean it’s easy to have baby number two. I have friends who are struggling and have struggled for years to have baby number two. And it’s just not a question that should be asked, but I do. I get it all the time.

Kristin: It’s a very personal question.

Alyssa: Yeah, when I say that I only want one, I get the, like, smack-across-the-face guilt. “How can you only have one? You’re doing your daughter a disservice. She needs a sibling.” You know, they know better than I do, apparently. But we love our little family of three, and really, it just boils down to: it’s nobody else’s business. It’s my family, not theirs.

Kristin: Right, and you travel a lot, so it makes it so much easier with one child to have a very active life.

Alyssa: Yeah, we love to travel, and she’s been on an airplane since she was nine weeks old, and she’s so easy and so good. She’s our little world traveler. Not that we couldn’t do it with two, but it would be a heck of a lot harder, especially when you’re paying for an extra plane ticket and then you need extra rooms when they get older. So, I mean, part of it’s selfish reasons, right? It’s easy for us; she’s great; she’s easy; we can travel. We’re a little bit older. Not too old; I mean, I have friends who are having babies right now that are 38, 40, 41. It’s what’s too old for you? How do you feel? And for me, for some reason, it was 35. Maybe because my mom was 35. My dad was nine years older, so I saw that growing up, too, having parents who were older than the rest of my friends’ parents, and my father almost being their grandparents’ age.

Kristin: Yeah, I’m one of the oldest moms on the playground, that’s for sure.

Alyssa: I don’t mind it. We’re older and wiser.

Kristin: Yeah, for sure. So do you love holding babies, since you’re not having any more babies of your own?

Alyssa: I do. I get my baby fix all the time. I love it. I absolutely love it. And you know, honestly, I wouldn’t be able to do what I do if I had another kid. It’s a lot of work. One’s hard. My clients who have toddlers and then a newborn are sometimes – they can’t even comprehend how much extra work that is. And I wouldn’t be able to be helping and supporting clients the way I do now if I had more children.

Kristin: You’d be supporting your own family.

Alyssa: Right. So there’s always a give and take. I know my daughter would be an amazing big sister. I know she would. But there’s a give and take. She gets 100% of my attention and all my love and gets to come everywhere with us, and she’s my little buddy.

Kristin: And she has cousins, lots of cousins.

Alyssa: Yeah, lots of cousins, lots of friends. My husband and I going into this said we’re going to make a point to just socialize her. She will go places with us; we will bring friends; we’ll be the family that says, “Pick a friend. They’ll come to Disney with us.” It’s still cheaper than having another kid to bring a friend places occasionally. But there’s always a give and take, and ultimately, it’s each family’s personal decision, and it just kind of stinks that other people have to make you feel bad for what feels good for you. We love our little family of three.

Kristin: So what’s your best advice to a family or client who plans to only have one child and doesn’t know how to break the news to their family and circle of friends?

Alyssa: It’s hard. Based on personalities, I’ve heard people say flat-out, “It’s none of your business,” and I don’t go that route. I don’t think there’s a need to be rude or brash with people, but you can say, “That’s a nice thought,” or “Maybe that works for your family, but this works for ours.”

Kristin: Perfect. I love it. Well, thanks for listening, and we look forward to hearing your thoughts on this episode. Remember, these moments are golden.

Alyssa: And I will be interviewing Kristin next episode to talk about her journey and her story. So stay tuned.

Podcast Episode #1: One and Done! Alyssa’s Doula Journey Read More »

Meet our new doula, Tricia!

Doulas / Alyssa Veneklase / birth doula, doulas, gold coast doulas, multiples, postpartum doulas, twins

Meet Tricia Buschert, our newest birth and postpartum doula. She is also our new multiples expert! Let’s learn a little more about her.

1) What did you do before you became a doula?

I’ve been a stay at home mom for the last four and a half years.

2) What inspired you to become a doula?

My kids were my biggest inspiration to become a doula. After I had my son, I knew I wanted work with families, but it wasn’t until after our twin daughters were born at 32 weeks, spent 6 weeks in NICU, exclusively pumped for 10 months and struggled for over a year with postpartum anxiety did I figure out exactly what I wanted to do: become a birth and postpartum doula.

3) Tell us about your family.

I’m married to my high school sweetheart, Zach. He is an accountant and is currently working on his Masters Degree in accounting. We’ve been married 6 and a half years and have three kids. Our oldest, Gideon, will be four in a couple weeks. When he was 15 months old we were surprised to find out we were expecting identical twins. Kira and Rosalind just turned two, and being a twin mama has been one of my favorite roles ever. We also have two cats named Shanele and Layla.

As a family we love to be outside, go bowling, and go to the zoo. Gideon also loves to play Super Smash Bros with Daddy.

4) What is your favorite vacation spot and why?

My favorite spot that my husband and I have traveled to is Myrtle Beach. The beaches were gorgeous, and we had so much fun exploring the city together. One day we would love to go to Europe and travel to Scotland, Britain, and Germany.

5) Name your top five bands/musicians and tell us what you love about them.

I grew up on country music and I still love it. It’s primarily what I listen to, but I also listen to some pop and rock. I love country because there is songs for all feelings- when I’m sad, when I need some encouragement, and when I just want to dance around. I listen to pop when I need to dance around the kitchen with kids and get my heart racing during a workout.
Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban, Rascal Flatts, Tim Mcgraw, and The Chainsmokers are some of thel bands/artists I listen to often.

6) What is the best advice you have given to new families?

A nurse in the NICU told me to find something positive in each day and I’ve shared it ever since. Even if it is “my meal was warm today” or “the baby didn’t puke on me” or “I got to snuggle the baby”. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Just to find one good thing in the day that made you happy. In the beginning, with three children under two, finding something positive made the 25+ diapers, the 6-7 hours attached to a pump, and the 2 hours of broken sleep a little easier.

I also tell new parents to ask for help. Raising children takes a village, especially when you have multiples, and asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. You have to take care of you to take care of them.

7) What do you consider your doula superpower to be?

The ability to encourage others.

8) What is your favorite food?

Currently its chicken ceaser salads. I’ve been really loving them lately!
I also love sausage and egg souflee, apples with peanut butter, and Mocha lattes with coconut milk.

9) What is your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast?

I love the Rockford Dam. There are local shops nearby, food, and our favorite ice cream place. The trail is close by for our family walks, there are often activities, and it is a fun place to bring our kids. My husband also proposed to me there and so it holds a special place in my heart.

10) What are you reading now?

Sensory Yoga for Kids: Therapeutic Movement for Children of all Abilities by Britt Collins

11) Who are your role models?

My grandmas are my biggest role models.

Meet our new doula, Tricia! Read More »

[un]common sense: Buy them what they asked for

[un]common sense, Parenting / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, baby massage, baby shower, bottle feeding, breastfeeding, grandparents, Hypnobirthing, infant massage, lactation, postpartum doulas, sleep deprivation, twins

[un]common sense is a blog about navigating through everyday life, using some common sense tips to make it just a bit easier, and sometimes a little more fun. Alyssa is a wife, mother, and postpartum doula who has some tricks up her sleeve and wants to share them with the world. Well now, don’t you feel lucky?

I recently attended a friend’s baby shower; the first I’ve been to in years. I was surprised to see that not much had changed since I had my own (over five years ago). The mother was showered with gifts alright, most of which she did not register for.

There’s nothing more annoying than opening boxes and gift bags filled with presents that your Aunt thinks “Is just the most adorable outfit ever” or your Grandmother says,”I just couldn’t pass up when I saw it!”

They have the best of intentions, but when it comes to having a baby, or babies, you don’t need extra stuff just because it’s adorable. You need practical, useful items that will make your life easier, not just make the baby or nursery look cute.

I remember after my baby showers having a pile of baby blankets, toys, and stuffed animals. What the heck was I going to do with all of it? I didn’t register for any of them, most of them were hideous, newborns don’t play with toys, and most importantly you can’t put any of that stuff in a crib, so why in the world would anyone think a baby needed all this stuff?

I returned what I could (blankets, onesies with silly phrases, gigantic toys, fancy pacifiers, stuffed animals) and donated whatever came without receipts and the stores wouldn’t take. I wonder how many hundreds of dollars were spent on those gifts, wasted. Wasted because it was not what I asked for! People took it upon themselves to decide what I needed for my baby instead of buying what I requested. It made all the time I spent researching what I needed, then registering for it, seem pointless.

So, I watched in agony as my friend opened up gift after gift that she did not register for. I watched as the mound of “Oh my god, it’s sooo soft!” blankets grew, the pile of “So stinkin’ cute!” stuffed animals overflowed, and the boxes of expensive newborn outfits began to stack up.

I wonder when people will get it? Baby showers are about the Mom and baby, not about them.

In-home support from a postpartum doula is the most wonderful gift you could give to new parents. If I could have taken the hundreds of dollars wasted on fuzzy leopard print blankets and extra large stuffed animals and put it toward a doula, you better believe I would have! My friend ended up getting a very generous amount gifted toward postpartum help because she requested it in her baby shower invites along with her registry.

If you are pregnant and planning to have baby showers, contact Gold Coast Doulas about a customized invitation stuffer. It’s an easy way to ask your friends and family for postpartum support.

The most common question I get asked as a Postpartum Doula is “What do you do for families?” It’s hard to answer because I consider my work to be fluid. It will change from family to family, and even day to day with the same family. One day a mother might need a nap, so I make sure the baby is cared for while she lies down, and maybe pick up the house a little or do some meal prep while she sleeps. The next day the same mother (because she got a nap) may be full of energy so we take our first outing together, be it to the grocery store or a walk around the block. If the mother has older children, she may feel like they’ve been neglected and want to spend some quality time with them; so again I will care for the newborn so she can focus on the older siblings.

Our services allow a mother to a nap or shower, drink a cup of tea, or finish her thank-you cards. We offer local resource suggestions for health care providers, chiropractors, mother’s groups, kid-friendly restaurants, or maybe the best place to buy a bottle of wine. We are also there for emotional support. We let her talk, cry, whatever she needs to do. And we make sure she is heard. A Postpartum Doula is an expert voice of reason that will not offer opinions or judgment.

Oftentimes new parents just need someone to guide them through the first few weeks or months with a newborn. Breastfeeding is often harder than expected. Parents finally understand what sleep deprivation means. They may be scared to give the first bath or clip baby’s nails the first time. A Postpartum Doula’s role is so very important. We are your village. We are here to support you and your family, judgment-free with no hidden agendas.

Contact Gold Coast if you have interest in any of the services we offer.

Bedrest Doulas, Birth Doulas, Daytime and Overnight Postpartum Doulas, Customized Baby Shower Stuffers, Lactation Consultations, or any of our classes including HypnoBirthing, Newborn Survival, Breastfeeding, Preparing for Multiples.

[un]common sense: Buy them what they asked for Read More »

It’s our birthday!

Doulas / Alyssa Veneklase / baby massage, doulas, Hypnobirthing, infant massage, lactation, multiples, postpartum depression, postpartum doulas, pumping

Gold Coast Doulas is two years old today! There is so much to celebrate in this short time. Here are some highlights:

Gold Coast was a finalist for the 2017 Local First Local Motion Awards.

Gold Coast was a named a Top Women Owned Business by the Grand Rapids Business Journal in 2017.

GR Kids named Kristin Revere as the Top Doula in 2016. Ashley Forton was ranked number two doula. Ashley Forton was also ranked as the Top Childbirth educator in 2016.

Alyssa Veneklase was named a Grand Rapids Chamber of Commerce ATHENA Young Professional Finalist in 2017.

Kristin Revere was named one of the 50 Most Influential Women in West Michigan by the Grand Rapids Business Journal in 2016.

In August 2016, Gold Coast moved to a new office in Cascade to have space for classes and client meetings. We are excited again for a new move in early 2018. Announcements on that coming soon!

We held a diaper drive in 2016 for Nestlings Diaper Bank of West Michigan and collected 2,275 disposable diapers and 40 packs of wipes. Gold Coast also collected 127 cloth diapers and 71 inserts. Thanks to all who donated and at our drop-off locations. We also received a $50 cash donation. We just wrapped up our 2nd Annual Diaper Drive for Nestlings Diaper Bank and are eager to find out the results. We already know we’ve more than doubled what we collected last year!

Emily Richett of Richett Media mentioned Gold Coast in a Fox 17 spot on baby registries, talking up our postpartum doula services.

Erica Francis of Fox 17 did a great story on Postpartum Doulas and how we help new families.

We spent time giving back to the community as our members volunteered for the March of Dimes and the Healthy Kent Breastfeeding Coalition. We donated funds to support the work of Ele’s Place, Metro Health Foundation, and MomsBloom. Gold Coast was an early supporter of Mothership and three of our team members attended their inaugural training.

We worked with Simply Born Midwifery Services to bring “When The Bough Breaks” to the historic Wealthy Theatre. We had an engaged audience and a wonderful panel of experts to speak on postpartum depression and psychosis. We already are working on plans for the next film event.

Our team has grown tremendously from four doulas at the launch to twelve today. We also added a board certified lactation consultant who offers home and office visits. We expanded our educational offerings by including the following classes: Breastfeeding, Newborn Survival, HypnoBirthing, and Preparing for Multiples. Our goal is to be your home for everything from pregnancy through the first year.

Thanks for all who have entrusted us to walk with you on your unique journeys through pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum phase. You inspire us to do more good. You are the reason we exist and we will keep listening and responding to your needs. These moments truly are golden!

It’s our birthday! Read More »

Postpartum Depression & Anxiety Resource List

Parenting / Alyssa Veneklase / anxiety, babies, birth support, depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression, postpartum doulas, postpartum psychosis

After our recent event at the Wealthy Street Theatre where we screened ‘When the Bough Breaks – A Documentary about Postpartum Depression’ we realized that there are many great resources available to our community, but people may not know how to find them.

We at Gold Coast, with the help of Cristina Stauffer, have compiled a comprehensive list of resources for Postpartum Depression, Anxiety, and Psychosis.

These were some of the experts on our panel that you may contact directly:
Kerrie Vanweelden with Pine Rest
Allison Kunde, LMSW with Family Outreach Center
Cristina Stauffer, Private Practice Therapist cstaufferlmsw@gmail.com
Dr. Nicole Cain, ND, MA with Health for Life Grand Rapids
Micah McLaughlin with Continuum Healing

Here are some additional resources:

Pine Rest Mother Baby Program
Pine Rest HopeLine 844.MOM.HOPE (844.666.4673)
network180
Arbor Circle Strong Beginnings
Postpartum Support International 1-800-944-4773
Michigan Statewide PMD Coalition
Spectrum Health Postpartum Support Services 616-391-1771
www.postpartumdepression.org

The Recovery Village

Local Support Groups:

(Please call for meeting schedule, location and/or registration) – These typically have no cost to attend.

Grand Rapids
Spectrum Health Healthier Communities
Nancy Roberts, Kathy Buchanan, and Sue Bailey
616-391-1771

Caledonia
Thrive Chiropractic Center
Ginger Hollemans
616-554-5070

Zeeland
Pine Rest
Melissa VanOrman
616-741-3790

Grand Haven / Spring Lake
North Ottawa Community Health System
Lauran Bronold
616-874-5154

Pine Rest

Muskegon
Hackley Community Care
Nancy Weller
231-773-6624

Lansing
Kirsten Kimmerly
517-712-7687

Online at www.postpartum.net

Gold Coast Doulas LLC is available for daytime and overnight postpartum support. Some other local friends and resources for postpartum care include MomsBloom, Inc., GR Doulas, LLC and The Village Doula GR, LLC.

Postpartum Depression & Anxiety Resource List Read More »

Dealing with Stress

Parenting / Alyssa Veneklase / meditation, postpartum doulas, pregnancy insomnia, sleep deprivation, sleeping during pregnancy, stress and pregnancy

Today’s blog comes from one of our previous postpartum doulas, Alex. Her nurturing soul shines in this post, giving us her favorite tips for stress management and self-care. Take the time today, and every day, to nurture yourself.

It’s no secret that stress is, inevitably, a part of life, and to some degree is healthy for the human body. But too much stress and/or on-going stress can have negative effects on your long-term health. Most people deal with it in some capacity throughout their lives, and becoming a parent can most definitely add more stress to your life. Stress can, but does not always, affect your immune system, sleeping and eating habits, digestion, mental well-being, and among other things it ages you, fast!

Sometimes stress is unavoidable. We live in a fast-paced society and there’s a lot of pressure for most people, especially parents. Luckily there are some proven things to help our bodies and minds against the negative effects of ongoing or heavy stress in life.

Meditation has been practiced for a long time around the world, and we now know that meditation has been shown to help alleviate some of the physical and mental effects of stress. It’s about clearing your mind and focusing on your breathing for an extended period of time, but even a short session of meditation has its benefits. It can help to give you a sense of calm and peace amidst the chaos. It helps you connect your mind and body by focusing on your breathing. If you can find the time, take even just five minutes to find a quiet place, close your eyes and breath in and out deeply, consciously relaxing all parts of your body during this. Many people tend to hold tension in parts of their body (tight shoulders, clenched jaw, etc) so this helps to let go. If your mind is racing, pick one thing and focus on it. I usually imagine a beautiful flower, flowing water, or roots coming from my feet going deep into the earth to help ground me. Even just focusing on the in and out of your breathing can clear your mind. Your circumstances may still be stressful, but you are likely to feel calmer, more grounded, and peaceful at the end of your meditation.

If you need some help, there are many guided meditations you can find on CD, YouTube, and there are even apps for your phone. Another practice that goes hand in hand with meditation is mindfulness. As parents, it’s a great skill to have and model to our children. What is mindfulness? Well, it’s just that. It’s actually stopping to be mindful of our surroundings and situations that arise instead of just reacting. Reaction if often out of emotion and when we are stressed it can be a negative reaction. When we train ourselves to stop and choose mindfulness in stressful situations it often times gives a different perspective.

Exercise is something that helps a lot with stress as well, if you are able. Exercise is great because it gives you a serotonin boost. If you are crunched for time, even a quick 10 minute jog outside can help alleviate stress. Riding your bike is wonderful too, and you get to be outdoors in good weather, which is also shown to help with stress. Gentler exercise like stretching, yoga, and pilates can relieve the body of tension and physical stress. A passive form of exercise I personally love for stress is massage! It’s great for the body and mind. If it’s too pricey for you, have a friend or your partner give you a 20 minute neck and shoulder rub at the end of the day. Foot rubs with some nice smelling oil are my favorite; I especially love lavender and it’s safe for pregnant and nursing mothers.

Nature has gifted us with several herbal allies to help our body and mind deal with stress. Teas are amazing. One of my favorite blends is chamomile, catnip, lemon balm, and lavender tea. Loose leaf herbs are available in many stores and online. I make a mixture of equal parts the first three and less lavender and add ¼ cup to a quart sized jar and steep it for an hour or so to make an infusion. It’s a nice, calming blend that the whole family can enjoy safely, especially for teething. I sweeten with honey for the kiddos (but no babies under 1 year!). Tinctures are plants steeped in alcohol or vegetable glycerin that get all the goodness out of a particular plant or a blend of plants. Passionflower is one I used during the end of my third pregnancy to help with irritability and anxiety. I got a lot of relief from this. There are also adaptogenic herbs, which help with your adrenal health, in turn helping many systems of the body adapt to stress. However, not all are safe during pregnancy and/or breastfeeding, so use caution and always consult your care provider. One I use safely during nursing, but not pregnancy, is Rhodiola. It has been used for many years in Russian and Asia and is gaining popularity in the US. It gives steady energy, mental clarity, stamina, and enhances your mood on top of helping your body physically deal with stress in many ways. Essential oils are hugely popular but you need to use the utmost safety and caution when using them (I would say never ingest essential oils, and do not use on kids under two). Lavender is one of my favorites along with Ylang Ylang. Both smell lovely and are so relaxing. I put them in a diffuser or put a few drops in a relaxing bath with some bath salts for a nice soak.

Sleep is so important. Sleep deprivation only adds stress in your life, causing your body to become stressed more quickly. Being a parent can make sleep difficult. Between waking babies and older kids, most parents find sleep hard to come by. Having a solid bedtime routine is important; it creates a good rhythm with kids. And parents, if you can nap at all during the day, do it. I know it’s a stretch, especially with a job outside of the home, but even a 10-20 minute power nap is proven to do wonders for your stress and energy levels.

All of these methods of self-care can help you during stressful times. I realize stress can be unavoidable, but self-care is important and using some of the tips I’ve given (or all of them) can help you to take care of yourself so you can better care for your family. I hope this helps you find some peace.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor and this is not medical advice. If you are suffering from stress or finding it hard to function, you may need to talk to your primary care provider. This is a blog post from my own extensive research and experience throughout several years of handling stress in a healthy way.

Dealing with Stress Read More »

Embraced and Not Feared: Exercise During Pregnancy

Classes / Alyssa Veneklase / postpartum depression, postpartum doulas

Our guess blogger today is Marissa Anderson of Fit4Mom Grand Rapids. Read on to gain valuable insight about prenatal fitness.

No matter what it looked like for you – plus sign, blue line, double line – the moment you knew you had a new life growing inside you, there were so many questions that needed answering. What should I eat? What shouldn’t I eat? What do I actually FEEL like eating? What should we register for? What classes should I take? Do I want a doula?

And for many new moms, there are questions about exercising. Should I be exercising? What type of exercise can I do? Can I run? Can I exercise my abs? Here are a few common questions that many pregnant mamas are asking:

Should I exercise during pregnancy?

Most likely – YES!! The majority of women are able to exercise safely and effectively throughout their pregnancy. However, in the case of a high risk pregnancy or complications, your doctor may advise you to stop exercising – either for a period of time or for the duration of your pregnancy. But for women experiencing a normal pregnancy, exercising can be one of the best things you do during these 9 months!

Exercise is so important during pregnancy because right after delivery, when you are at your weakest physical state, you are asked to care for another human being – and you want to be ready for that! Staying fit helps you to go STRONG into the second act of motherhood. Exercise can also help decrease or prevent:

Excessive weight gain and postpartum weight retention
Gestational diabetes
High blood pressure
Maternal discomforts (nausea, leg cramps, back pain, constipation, swelling, depression, etc)
Surgical or medical preventions in pregnancy

And not only is exercise great for mom, it is also helpful in delivering a happy and healthy baby!

How Should I Exercise During Pregnancy?

The best rule of thumb for exercising during pregnancy is LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! If your body is telling you to slow down, then do it. But if your body is feeling great, then continue to work as hard as you feel comfortable. Instead of focusing on what your heart rate is (which is what doctors used to recommend), it is better to rate how you feel on an exertion scale. If 0 is not moving at all and 10 is going “all out”, you should try to keep your exercise between 5-8. Many women find that they can continue to do the same types of exercising they were doing before they were pregnant throughout most of their pregnancy. There are even pregnant women out there running marathons! But if that puts you over an 8 on the scale, then it’s best to choose something else.

One group of muscles that is really important to focus on during pregnancy is the upper back and shoulders. With the changes in a pregnant woman’s body structure, the shoulders tend to get rounded and the back hunched over. This only gets worse as the baby is born and you are spending time nursing, rocking, reaching into the crib, etc. These muscles can be strengthened with exercises like rows and pulldowns. Always remember to squeeze your shoulder blades together while doing these exercises in order to really activate those muscles!

Another group of muscles that is often overlooked during pregnancy is the core. The muscles of the abdomen and back are SO important to a new mom that they really should not be inactive throughout pregnancy. There are a lot of different opinions about what women should and should not be doing for core exercises during pregnancy. Many doctors will actually discourage all exercises targeting the core. However, this makes recovery so much harder after baby and can cause permanent lower back damage. Twisting exercises should be limited but everything else is safe during pregnancy as long as it is tolerated. Again – if something does not feel comfortable then make sure you are listening to your body. But most women can successfully exercise their core muscles throughout their pregnancy.

What should I be aware of during exercise while I’m pregnant?

As you all know, our bodies are constantly changing during pregnancy. A woman’s body will go through more changes during the 9 months of her pregnancy than a man’s will in his entire life! It’s important to know how these changes can affect your exercise routine. And it’s also important to know what signs your body will give you to tell you to slow down or stop.

One of the ways your body prepares to give birth is through the hormone relaxin. This hormone kicks in to loosen your joints, particularly those of the pelvic bones in order to more easily deliver a baby. However, relaxin can affect other joints of your body as well, and you may notice that you feel a little wobbly at times. It is important to be careful during exercise while doing side to side movements or balance activities because your joints are more likely to give out in these situations. Another time to be careful of this is during stretching. Stretching is very important during pregnancy but overstretching can be a problem while the joints are so loose.

Keep cool and hydrated during your workouts! Pregnant women tend to get overheated more easily and lose water rapidly. It is also important to know that you need to bring in extra calories for the calories you are burning during exercise. Now is not a time to be worried about losing weight! Having a pre-workout snack helps to regulate your blood sugar and gives you the energy you need to exercise.

Most importantly – LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! If you are experiencing any strange symptoms (bleeding, shortness of breath, dizziness, chest pain, etc), make sure to STOP! It is always better to be safe than sorry. You have plenty of time to push yourself harder once you have your baby.

If you are interested in learning more about how to safely and effectively exercise during your pregnancy, make sure to check out our Fit4Baby classes that are led by certified prenatal fitness instructors!

You can contact Marissa with any questions at marissaandersen@fit4mom.com

Embraced and Not Feared: Exercise During Pregnancy Read More »

Meet Your Gold Coast Doula-Lynnette

Doulas / Kristin Revere / doulas, gold coast doulas, infant care specialist, postpartum doulas

We love asking our Gold Coast Doulas questions so you can get to know them more. Meet our infant care specialist and postpartum doula, Lynnette Nichols and learn about her inspirations and background.

1) What did you do before you became a doula?
Before I became a doula, I was the manager at Lemon Creek Winery’s Tasting Room in Grand Haven. I worked there for five years.

2) What inspired you to become a doula?
I saw a segment that Gold Coast Doulas did on Fox 17. Listening to them describe the role of Postpartum Doulas really moved me to want to learn more. I have always loved children and supporting other moms; it really does take a village and I have been blessed to have some amazing people come into my life. I am excited to take on this new career and support families during such an important time in their lives.

4) Tell us about your family?

I have been married to my very supportive husband, Kyle for 14 years. We have three beautiful daughters; Brookelyn (18), Kaitlyn (17), Jordyn (14). We are a blended family that has worked hard to make us the solid family we are. We live in Grand Haven.

5) What is your favorite vacation spot and why?

My favorite vacation spot is Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. I am originally from Marquette and when I met my husband, I found out he also had a love for the U.P. It is absolutely beautiful up there and every time I cross the Mackinac Bridge, I am ready for our next adventure.

6) Name your top five bands/musicians and tell us what you love about them.

I really don’t follow certain bands or musicians, but when I hear a song that moves me, I fall in love with it and listen to it over and over.

These are my favorite songs:

Thinking Out Loud~Ed Sheeran

Lost Stars~Adam Levine

Like I’m Gonna Lose You~Meghan Trainor

This Woman’s Work~Kate Bush

Change in My Life~Hope College’s 12th Street Harmony A Cappella Student Group

7) What is the best advice you have given to new families?

No one knows all the answers and no one is the perfect parent.

8) What do you consider your doula superpower to be?

I don’t think I can answer that yet and look forward to finding out.

9) What is your favorite food?

Tacos

10) What is your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast?
I live in Grand Haven and absolutely love it. If I didn’t live here, I’d be here all the time. If I am not spending time at the beach or on the American Legion deck, I love going to Grand Rapids and enjoying the great restaurants.

11) What are you reading now?

I am reading Eat, Move, Sleep by Tom Rath. My daughter is considering going into kinesiology and nutrition; she recommended the book to me.

12) Who are your role models?

My role model has always been my Grandma. She is God loving and humble, firm but gentle at the same time. I soak in everything she says and hope that I am half the woman she is and that my children and grandchildren love and respect me as much as I do her.

Meet Your Gold Coast Doula-Lynnette Read More »

Infant Massage Questions

Classes, Infant Massage / Kristin Revere / baby massage, colic, infant massage, postpartum depression, postpartum doulas

Frequently Asked Questions About Infant Massage

Gold Coast Doulas is thrilled to present a Part 2 of the Infant Massage guest blog from Cristina Stauffer. Cristina Stauffer, LMSW, CEIM has been passionate about serving women and young children throughout her career. Pregnancy and early motherhood can be one of the most vulnerable times in a woman’s life. Cristina has been dedicated to supporting women through this delicate time by providing therapy and support, education and screening about perinatal mood and anxiety disorders such as postpartum depression and through teaching parents and caregivers the joy of infant massage. She graduated from the University of Michigan with a Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology and from Boston University with a Masters in Social Work. Cristina became a Certified Educator of Infant Massage (CEIM) in 2005 and has incorporated this practice into many aspects of her career. She has been practicing in the field of social work with a focus on women and young children for over 20 years.

Frequently Asked Questions about Infant Massage

Infant Massage has been practiced for centuries in India and other countries, but is still a relatively new practice here in the United States. Vimala McClure, author of Infant Massage: A Handbook for Loving Parents, brought the concept of infant to the US in the early 1970’s. Infant massage classes, books and videos have continued to pop up and are still growing in popularity. For most parents, however, the idea of massaging their baby is a new and different concept. It is normal to feel nervous or awkward about learning a new skill and parents or caregivers often have a lot of questions. Rest assured, infant massage is a very gentle, easy practice to learn and incorporate – anyone can learn to massage their baby. I have listed some of the most common questions I hear from parents and caregivers along with their answers below:

Why should I massage my child?

Infant massage has many benefits including relaxation, bonding and attachment, improved sleep habits and reduction in gas, constipation and fussiness. However, the most beneficial part of massage is the opportunity to just be with your child. Listen with your hands and with your heart as you massage, dropping your expectations or need for accomplishment or perfection. The quality of this interaction is very powerful and allows you to enjoy a special experience with your child, emotionally and physically.

How old should my child be?

We are never too old or too young for massage. Your child will benefit from your nurturing touch from birth through the teen years. The principles of respect and asking permission apply throughout all these years. This is a great way to keep in touch with your child and it is never too late to start! For older siblings, massage is a good way to neutralize jealousy and provide the focused attention they also require. Massage is a relaxing form of communication that can help you maintain positive communication with your child at any age.

How long should I massage my child?

Massage should last as long as it is pleasurable for both you and your child. This may be as little as a few minutes (which can be very effective) and as long as a half an hour or more.

How hard should I press?

Infant massage uses a firm, yet gentle touch. Don’t press too hard—this isn’t “deep tissue massage”, but also don’t tickle or use touch that is too light. Watch for the baby’s reaction to determine the appropriate pressure.

How do I understand what my child needs during massage?

Observe you baby’s breathing to notice how your touch is being received. Your baby’s breathing will probably become deeper and slower. Sighs may indicate that your baby is receiving the massage as nurturing and pleasurable. Facial expressions, body posture, movement and sharing what they like with words and pleasurable sounds also indicate if babies like the experience.

Can Dads do infant massage too?

Yes! Massage is a wonderful way for fathers to demonstrate their love. We must respect that a father’s way of relating to the child may be different from that of mothers. Sometimes Dads give the best massage because they aren’t afraid to go a little deeper. Massage is also a great way for fathers to learn more about their baby’s body, needs, communication and cues.

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Why is Infant Massage Good for Babies?

Classes, Infant Massage, Parenting / Kristin Revere / baby massage, colic, infant massage, newborn care, postpartum depression, postpartum doulas

Why is Infant Massage Good for Babies?

Gold Coast Doulas is thrilled to present a guest blog from Cristina Stauffer. Cristina Stauffer, LMSW, CEIM has been passionate about serving women and young children throughout her career. Pregnancy and early motherhood can be one of the most vulnerable times in a woman’s life. Cristina has been dedicated to supporting women through this delicate time by providing therapy and support, education and screening about perinatal mood and anxiety disorders such as postpartum depression and through teaching parents and caregivers the joy of infant massage. She graduated from the University of Michigan with a Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology and from Boston University with a Masters in Social Work. Cristina became a Certified Educator of Infant Massage (CEIM) in 2005 and has incorporated this practice into many aspects of her career. She has been practicing in the field of social work with a focus on women and young children for over 20 years.

Why is infant massage good for babies?

Most of us recognize that we are never too young or too old to enjoy nurturing touch or the practice of massage; however, many people still wonder why they should learn to massage their baby. Research over the years has shown that infant massage has many benefits for both parents and child, but the most important aspect of infant massage is simply the opportunity to just be with your child. The quality of the infant massage interaction is very powerful and allows you to enjoy a special experience with your baby, both physically and emotionally. Other benefits of infant massage include relaxation for both caregiver and child, improved sleep habits for babies, promotion of healthy digestive function in babies, better body awareness, and encourages positive parenting skills. Let’s explore the benefits of infant massage in each of these areas further:

Relaxation

Massage reduces fussiness.
Massage helps a baby learn to relax and reduce stress.
Massage helps a baby handle sensory input and respond to it with relaxation.
Daily massage time offers parents a time to relax and unwind from the busy pace of life and to connect with their child.
Massage increases a parent’s ability to help their child relax in times of stress.

Improved Sleep

Research has shown that massage helps improve the quality of baby’s sleep and encourages the baby to fall asleep faster after massage.
Massage increases oxygen and nutrient flow to cells and helps to deepen respiration.
Many parents report noticing improved sleep habits such as longer naps or more restful sleep after incorporating infant massage.
It is not unusual for babies to fall asleep and stay asleep during infant massage classes or private instruction.

Healthy Digestion

Research has shown that massage strengthens and regulates the digestive, respiratory and circulatory systems.
Massage stimulates baby’s ability to gain weight, especially for premature babies.
Massage helps to relieve the discomfort of gas and colic, teething, and congestion.
Infant massage instruction helps parents to better understand how the digestive system works and how to help relieve gas and constipation.
Infant massage class materials include a massage routine specifically targeted to relieve tummy problems such as pain, gas, constipation and colic.
Parents become more aware of how the baby’s belly looks and feels and are better able to identify possible tummy trouble.

Better Body Awareness

Massage enhances children’s body awareness and encourages positive feelings about their bodies.
Massage encourages children to feel “in charge” of their health as they grow and provides a healthy alternative to deal with stress.
Massage helps babies learn to accept and tolerate positive touch which is especially beneficial for babies who have been hospitalized.
Massage builds parent’s respect and understanding for their baby’s unique body, cues, and nonverbal communication.

Benefits for Parents and Caregivers

Massage provides intimacy and special time for caregivers and child, including fathers.
Massage helps parents to feel more competent and confident in their parenting role.
Parents learn how to touch and respond to their baby in nurturing ways.
Massaging their baby increases prolactin production (the “nurturing” hormone) in the parent allowing them to feel more relaxed and loving toward their child.
Group massage classes provide an opportunity for mutual support from other parents.
Massage provides an opportunity to connect, interact and share quality time with babies and children at any age.

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What does non-judgmental support mean?

Birth, Parenting, Self-Care / Alyssa Veneklase / birth support, bottle feeding, breastfeeding, postpartum, postpartum depression, postpartum doulas

Author: Alyssa Veneklase, CD

I was recently asked if, since I’m a doula, I tell clients not to vaccinate and make them feel guilty if they don’t breastfeed.

What??!

If you had a doula that made you feel this way, I apologize on behalf of them. That is the opposite of what a doula is meant to be.

Since there’s obviously still a lot of confusion about the role of a doula, I will try to clear up most of the common misconceptions briefly and simply.

A birth doula is not a midwife. We do not deliver babies; we are there for the physical and emotional support of the mother and even the father.

You do not need to have an all-natural home birth to use a doula. We support women no matter how and where they deliver.

We realize that breastfeeding doesn’t work for every mother and every circumstance. We are there for guidance and support of breastfeeding, pumping, and bottlefeeding (breast milk and formula).

When clients ask us for guidance regarding topics such as vaccines and circumcision, we offer resources, but never tell a client what they should do. We want our clients to make informed and educated decisions, but the decisions are all their own.

Bottom line, a doula is a non-judgmental support person. And by non-judgmental I mean we never judge a mother, father, or family based on the decisions they make.

Ever.

Telling a client not to vaccinate their child would be judging those who do vaccinate.

Telling someone we won’t work with them because they have a scheduled c-section would be outright, in-your-face judgment.

Telling a client that she’s a bad mother because she can’t, or chooses not to, breastfeed is yes, full of judgment.

As a postpartum doula, I am passionate about supporting families, wherever they’re at in their journeys. I serve families who co-sleep for months and those who use a crib from day one. I serve families who breastfeed and those that bottlefeed formula.

I serve mothers who had all-natural deliveries, mothers who delivered early and their baby was in the NICU, and mothers who had scheduled c-sections. I serve families whether they vaccinated or not, circumcised or not.

I serve families where the mother goes back to work full-time after a few weeks, and families where the mother never goes back to work. I serve mothers with postpartum depression and I serve mothers who are the happiest they’ve ever been.

In every single scenario, the client knows I am there for them. I have no agenda of my own. It doesn’t matter what I did with my child or what “most people” do. I want each of my clients to feel confident that they’re making their own informed decisions. And I’m there for them, no matter what the decision is.

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