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Parenting During Covid-19: Podcast Episode #96

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Parenting, Self-Care / / , , , ,

Today we talk with Laine Lipsky, parenting coach, about some best practices for parenting during the COVID-19 pandemic.  She gives us all some great tips on how to manage stress and deal with out children no matter what age!  You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or SoundCloud.

Alyssa:  Hello and welcome to the Ask the Doulas Podcast.   My name is Alyssa Veneklase, and today I am talking to Laine Lipsky, a parenting coach.  How are you?

Laine:  Doing great.  How are you doing?

Alyssa:  Great!  So we kind of met online and talked, what was it, last week, and then just realized we have a lot to talk about and a lot of similar clients.  With my sleep stuff — we’re actually going to talk about sleep on a separate podcast, but that kind of is what got us started talking about your parenting, coaching with parents, and then thinking about how does that relate right now to this pandemic that we’re all, you know, going through together.  Myself included, we’re stuck at home with a kid, and I know personally, I think about my frustrations, but I forget that she’s also going through this.  I don’t want to forget about, how is she handling this and how do I best talk to her, and how do I maybe help with some of the frustrations that I’m having, which are normal and to be expected, but maybe I could find better ways to cope with those.  And then we got talking about the weather earlier, and the weather even affects all this.  So let’s just kind of — you know, I would love to hear some ideas that you have on best ways to parent our children right now.

Laine:  Yeah!  Well, let me first start by saying, I’m really glad to be here and having this conversation, and of course we met online, because how else are people going to be meeting these days, right?  Like, it’s classic.  But that — and I’m going through this, too, and my kids are older.  They’re 12 and 14, so there are different considerations, but I am in the same boat as everybody else, and I never pretend to be, you know, something that I’m not.  But they still need parenting, so no matter how old your kids are — and I think your clients have younger kids, typically — but just know that, you know, whatever parenting style you’re using now is training ground for as they’re getting older.  Whatever we practice when they’re younger becomes our habit as they grow older.  And what I see really from the parents who I talk to, and I’m just reaching out a lot these days and just trying to ask a lot of questions — you know, what are people struggling with?  I want to say that, in answer to your question, you know, the best way to parent, I wholeheartedly believe that there’s not one right way to parent.  There isn’t.  There’s great information out there, but there is a right way that’s going to feel right to you, Alyssa, right?  Something that’s going to feel right to me.  We may be working with the same body of information, but it’s going to sound different for you.  It’s going to look different in your family because your family system is different than mine and from everybody else.  We each have our unique thumbprint in our family, our unique voice, our unique soul-print, and our kids are all different.  Different ages, different temperaments.  So I really resist the idea that there is a best way or there’s one right way to parent.  What we do know is that there are, just like in medicine when they talk about best practices, there are definitely best practices that are supported by ample research and, you know, certainly in my world, supported by the clients who I work with and in my own experience by what I see with my own kids.  And there are just a few fundamental things.  Uusually when you cover the basics in a really healthy, thorough way, you’re kind of covering the essential ground, and I think the word essential is really — it’s just so fitting for this time, right?  Like, there’s essential business.  There’s essential — you know, what is — this question of “essential” keeps coming up, and so I think a really good place to start in figuring out the best way to parent is to ask.  And so I’ll throw the question back to you: what feels essential in your parenting?

Alyssa:  Right.  Right.  So, I mean, right now, I feel like we’ve got so much extra thrown at us.  I’m not a teacher, which I’ve never had to be a teacher before.  So right now, her education is essential.  But I also own a business, and that business is essential.  And I’m also a wife and maintaining that relationship when we’re both home together and can potentailly be driving each other nuts, right?  So I feel like there are a lot of essential aspects, but I also feel like the short temperedness of, you know, just I’m not meant to be home with a seven-year-old all day long, seven days a week.

Laine:  Certainly!  Certainly not while you’re also trying to run a business and also trying to do all the other things, right?  If you were locked in and homeschooling, yes, you would be meant to do that, right?

Alyssa:  Yeah, and I’d probably — yeah, I would have found a rhythm by now, and maybe that’s what it’s going to take is just, you know, maybe in another month, I’ll have a really good rhythm.  But yeah, I guess essential for me right now is the happiness of my family unit and keeping my relationship with my husband whole, as well as my daughter happy.  She’s seven and silly, and I’m just not as goofy as her classmates, and she’s got to get all these sillies out, but I’m in the middle of, you know, writing a sleep plan, and so her silliness is annoying to me.  It’s just this, you know, on and on.  And I feel like this is one small — and I have one daughter.  So families who have three, four, five children — like you say, there’s no one way to parent, and even within the same family unit, each child might have to be parented a little bit differently because of their temperament.  But, yeah, I think getting down to the core of what’s essential for your family and then going from there is really helpful.

Laine:  Yeah.  And I think what — a few things popped up for me as you were talking.  Number one, I think parents feel — loving parents like you, right, well-meaning, best-meaning — you want the best for your kids — fall into this parenting trap of, like, I just want my child to be happy.  Right?  And I call it a trap because what happens when we witness our kids experiencing unhappiness or some sort of discord is then that triggers us.  If we have this belief of, I just want my child to be happy, even if it’s unconcious, right, it filters into everything that we do, and when we witness them having some sort of difficulty or challenge, our instinct becomes to swoop in and, like, fix it and make them happy.  If we change that inner — and I’m all about self-talk and, you know, what is our intentionality in our parenting — I want you to be happy, too, but there’s a trap in saying that as the goal, to be happy.  If we find a different frame for that, a different word for that, a rebranding, if you will, right, of what we’re really after for our kids, it can take off a lot of pressure from us as parents.  So I’m not saying there is — what the replacement word is.  I can give you some examples or some ideas, and sometimes I can just see in parents, like, their shoulders go down a little bit, right?  One word that might be a little less loaded than “I just want my kid to be happy” is, “I want my child to learn how to be resilient.”  You know, how to bounce back from things.  So, for example, if we were to go with that word as the intention, then what happens is, when you’re seeing your child struggle, when you’re seeing your child have a difficult time, it’s not — the instinct doesn’t become, how do I swoop in and fix this to make her happy?  It’s, how do I sit with this and help guide her through an opportunity to become resilient.  Right?

Alyssa:  And that sounds like the perfect word right now because even as adults, we have to be resilient through this unknown for an unknown period of time.

Laine:  Totally.  And so how do we model resilience?  As your child gets older, it becomes — and I have lots of clients with kids who are older, and sometimes we start when their kids are older and, you know, I say, it doesn’t — it’s not a lost cause if your child’s already 12 or already 15.  It’s harder, but our brains are so plastic and our brains are resilient, naturally, that if we train in a different way, we will develop new habits.  It’s totally possible to teach old dogs new tricks when it comes to parenting.  It is.  So I’m a full believer in Pavlov’s psychology in that way and training.  Right?  I mean, it works.  So when you are — as your kids are getting older, it becomes more and more important for us as parents to be modeling for them what it looks like to be that thing that we want them to be because I guarantee you by the time your child is seven, maybe even younger — if you were to ask her in any particular moment, what am I going to say to you right now?  You’ve said that thing, whether it’s time for bed or it’s time to brush your teeth or it’s time to, whatever, get your shoes on — I guarantee you, she will know what you’re going to say, in 99% —

Alyssa:  Oh, she already does that to me.  Absolutely.  She’ll tell me before she asks a question — she already knows my response, so she’ll preface it with my response.

Laine:  I know you’re going to say no —

Alyssa:  Right, right.

Laine:  I know you’re going to say maybe, but I’m going to ask.  Right?  So, good.  That means you’ve been doing your job of being consistent and a consistent messenger.  Consistent salesperson of your values and where you stand.  So she knows where you stand.  That’s awesome.  Then what becomes a slow but steady and sometimes really challenging journey for parents is to just start modeling these things and to start shifting the focus back to ourselves, which is very counterintuitive because we spend so long so enmeshed with them.  Right?  Parenting is, like, the ultimate enmeshed relationship, slowly untangling so that we find the boundaries between us and them so that they’re actually seeing what we want them to be receiving.  Does that make sense?

Alyssa:  Yeah.  They can sense our anxiety and our nervousness and maybe our fears with what’s going on right now.  So I like that.  You know, take a step back and say, how am I going to react to this because I know she’s watching or they are watching.  They’re learning how to react by watching us react.

Laine:  Right.  And so another level to the answer of your question, how best to parent, would be, how are you parenting yourself right now?  What are the messages and all the things that go into it, right?  What’s your self-talk and how you’re handling your own stress?  What is your self-care?  These are the pillars of what I teach.  Right?  Self-talk and self-care; self-regulation.  Right?  And then having the outer skills to be actually helping your child navigate some of these things.  But if you’re just saying the things and you’re not doing the things that you know are going to be helpful, then it’s going to fall flat and will fall on deaf ears eventually.  So an example; let’s talk about your — you know, that you can’t be silly; you’re trying to work, right?  And she’s trying to be silly and it’s, like, probably annoying to you.  Right?  If we’re going to be honest.  And it gets frustrating because you’re trying to get stuff done, and you can’t feed that need that she has to be silly.  Right?  Well, what happens around that?  Right?  Let’s call that awareness building.  Like, do you start saying to yourself things like — a lot of — I’m not trying to, you know, coach you here necessarily —

Alyssa:  I’ll be an example.  It’s fine.

Laine:  — a lot of parents who will say things like, you know, well, that starts a whole series of self talk in my own head which is, like, I’m a bad mom or I can’t do this or I wasn’t cut out for this or, you know, oh, I just — things have to be different now, when they actually can’t be different, and it just sort of drives that negative thinking further and further into feeling solid, and it stops us from feeling fluid.  Right?  So — and it closes us down to what is possible.  I always ask, like, what is possible?  What’s possible for time that you can set aside to be silly.  If you’re not the silly mom, maybe that’s just not your thing.  That’s not your style of parenting.  So where can she get the sillies out?  Is it — you know, could she — then that’s a new conversation, right?  How do we address that need without putting the burden on ourselves and having to figure it out for them.  Oh, I see she’s got a need to be silly, so can she perform something?  Could she put on silly clothes?  Could she — the possibilities there are kind of endless, but what I’m trying to do, and I feel like my particular skill with parents, is to change the upfront question so that then we can open up different doors of possibility.  Right?  It’s not, like, how do I get her to be entertained.  It’s, like, how do I figure out how to meet that need or get that need met for her?  And I might not be the best person.  Maybe it’s — sometimes it’s the partner.  Sometimes it’s crafting or sometimes it’s a different outlet, but it doesn’t have to be you, and that’s one option.  Another option is could it be, or could you be open to that possibility of being, like, I don’t know, I’m not naturally the silly mom, but, like, I’m being called to this in this moment.  Could I, you know, put some boundaries around work and explain to her, you know, once I finish this — or maybe try to be silly first.  Maybe her silliness, her call, her invitation to be silly, will actually help your work.  What about that?  What if you — like, this is how I’m just — like, I get playful with this stuff.  Right?  Like, what if you were, like, I’m going to — like, I’m going to really commit to being silly here, and I know it’s, like, for us intellects, it’s like, okay, I have to, like, decide how to be silly.  I’m going to make a plan for being silly —

Alyssa:  I have to schedule it in my day.  Silliness at 2:00.

Laine:  I need to put on the silly makeup; I’ve got to find the — okay.  So you do that thing.  You get silly.  You have a frame around it, so 20 minutes.  I’ve got 20 minutes.  Let’s be super silly.  And you just, with reckless abandon, get silly, and you hold a boundary at the end of it, and there’s an end to it.  Maybe you film it.  Maybe she watches it on the replay.  You know, there are lots of options there.  And then I’d be curious — this is genuine curiosity — I’d be curious how your work was then informed by that.

Alyssa:  Yeah, it’s a great idea.

Laine:  What lightness would be brough to it?  What fun — what more fun would you bringing to work, and how would that manifest itself in the outcome of your work itself?  How much more fun would you have working if you just had, like, a half-hour playtime beforehand?

Alyssa:  And it truly — that’s all it takes.  Twenty to thirty minutes is a lifetime to kids.  You know, they don’t know if 20 minutes is any different than 2 hours.  I mean, granted, she’d love to hold me — hold my attention for 2 hours, but, yeah, 20 minutes —

Laine:  Held hostage!

Alyssa:  Yeah.

Laine:  I hear that a lot.

Alyssa:  Close to it.

Laine:  Well, better for her to hold your attention or hold you hostage in a positive way than having her hold you hostage in a negative way, because unfortunately, that’s what ends up happening with a lot of parents is they don’t dive in fully with both feet for the 20 minutes, and then for the — instead, what they get for the rest of their day is their child or their kids clamoring for their attention in negative ways.  And kids are going to — I worked with kids for years before I started working with parents.  I know this one for sure: that if kids don’t get it in a positive way, they’re going to seek it in any way they can, and at the end of the day, they don’t care how they get your full attention.  So they’re going to do whatever it takes to get it, and if that means that the only time that you — and I say “you” as a universal you, not you, Alyssa, but you — the only time you put down your phone and you look at them is because you’re so mad and you’re so frustrated that that’s the only time you are making full eye contact with them, putting your full attention on them — I guarantee you, that is going to feed their association with, “this is how I get Mommy or Daddy’s full attention.”  Does that make sense?

Alyssa:  Yeah.  It does.  So for a parent with four children, that just means they might need to take some time, you know, depending on the age of the children, I would imagine — you know, 20 minutes each?  Or maybe if there are two that are similar ages, you give 20 to 30 minutes to those two at the same time, but that just maybe takes a little bit more planning for somebody with more children to try to give them some dedicated time each day?

Laine:  Yeah, and so it’s — this is a really unique time to be figuring all this out, and I kind of get resistant about being, like, “schedule this, then schedule that and schedule that,” and I’m really more of a fan of having rhythms in the day.  So, like, sort of a play time, and then there’s a down time, and then there’s a, you know, an alone time, and then there’s a together time.  But figuring out what rhythms.  Some kids want to be alone in the morning.  Some kids want to be alone later in the day.  You really have to know your kid.  When it comes to having multiples, so let’s just say you’ve got two, three, or four kids.  Right?  I mean, but — or twins.  I said multiples, so it could be twins, too.  I have found that it’s easiest for parents to think about spending, like — dividing and conquering in one of two ways, either going by age — so you take the two olders and do something that’s sort of that age-appropriate, or you take the two youngers and you do something that’s sort of age-appropriate for them.  Right?  That’s usually how people do it.  But another way to think about it is to take them, if you can, by temperament.  So if you’ve got two kids who are really high-energy — could be an older one and a younger — if you have four, could be your oldest and your youngest, but they’re both super high energy — it might be easier on the parents to take them as a pair, and if your middle two are quieter and more sedentary, to pair it that way.

Alyssa:  Yeah.  That’s a great idea.

Laine:  So a lot of different ways to — I call it just dividing and conquering, and tag-teaming.  If you have — if you have a partner and the schedules are aligned and you can make it happen, you know, a lot of us feel guilty when we don’t have this perfect notion of, like, everybody’s spending family time together.  Family time doesn’t have to be everybody all together doing the same thing in the same place.  Family time can be very, very well spent separating, tag-teaming, I call it; dividing and conquering, whatever, doing your own thing; doing what feels best to each pairing; having the parents flip around from time to time is a good idea, too; mixing it up, and then all coming together, and then suddenly you find you’re sitting at dinner, and you’ve got more stuff to talk about, you know?  Even if the afternoon playtime session is, say, you know, 20 minutes, and one parent takes two, and the other parent takes two, and you watch something different, or you’re doing a different puzzle.  At least there’s been a different kind of experience and you’re not all in the same experience at the same time, because then there quickly becomes nothing to really — nothing novel to spark the conversation or to keep the energy new.

Alyssa:  Yeah.  I like that.

Laine:  It’s like the same people at the party.  Same people at the party all night long.  It’s fun when new people arrive.

Alyssa:  Yeah.  You can talk about what the other group did, and then you’re not — you can actually enjoy the time in segments together but apart because you’re not constantly trying to round and wrangle this one kid who doesn’t want to do the puzzle, who wants to play outside and just becomes this chaotic — more of a hassle.

Laine:  Yeah, and I think that anytime we can look at getting back to this idea of “essential” and what is best parenting, right?  What is really — like, what is the value that you hold?  So — and then sort of letting go of how that has to be, how that has to happen.  Going more after the what and letting go of the how.  So one example: a client of mine, she’s like, “I just want to have family meals together,” and her kids were older, and she was so upset that, you know, they’re — one child had this, you know, violin practice after school, and another child had team practice in the evenings, and she had things going, and they weren’t having dinner together, and she was so upset about it.  But she was missing out on the fact that every morning, her family was having breakfast together.  And I was like, where — like, the idea of having a meal together once a day — why does it have to be dinner?  Let’s let go of the how, right, and let’s look at the what.  And she was, like, oh!  We have a meal together every day!  But nothing changed in her reality.  It was just looking at it differently.  She was, like, oh, dinner is our sort of chaotic — you know, she started calling it the dinner dance, and she was, like, we’re doing the — and just everything lightened up around it, and before that, she was just feeling so, so heavy about it.  And sometimes all it takes is, like, a reframe and a perspective shift about what’s going on.  So getting back to what is really essential; what is your value, and where are you getting that?  And, you know, I’m not somebody who, like, sprinkles sunshine all over the place, but I do believe in looking at what is really going on and what is working as a starting point and moving from there to, okay, what do we need to tweak, because sometimes if you go into something, this just isn’t working, it’s like you miss out on the pieces that are working.  You think you need a total overhaul when in fact you don’t.  You might just need a few tweaks.

Alyssa:  Right.  So we talked a little bit before about weather — because we’re on opposite ends on the country and how weather can play, and you’ve lived all over, you know, and we — I was telling you that we just had one of our most beautiful weekends in Michigan in a long time, and it’s spring and gorgeous, and it’s been so cold that everyone was so happy to get outside, whereas you have kind of beautiful weather all the time.  So it’s like you take it for granted and these little things.  People are like, oh, my gosh, it’s raining.  Will we ever see the sun again?  And you’re like, yep, tomorrow.  We’ll see the sun tomorrow.  But weather plays a huge factor in our mental health.  You know, when we have a week straight of dreariness, it is really hard, and then tack on quarantine with that, right; we can’t go outside.  It’s too cold; it’s raining; it’s muddy.  Now you’re stuck inside and you’re not getting vitamin D, and you just feel it; you feel it in your core.  It’s almost like this heaviness just sets in.  But the sun, you know; the sun seems to relieve it for us in Michigan, anyway.

Laine:  Yeah.  Yeah, I think that’s a really real thing, and, you know, another way to — I spoke to somebody — I have lots of family — I’m from New York City, so I have lots of family back east, too, and sometimes — at least, this was a week ago — maybe two weeks ago, so things change, you know, as we’re going through this.  It’s like what felt okay two weeks ago might not feel good now or feel okay now, but at least what they were saying two weeks ago was, well, when it’s raining, at least I’d be inside anyway. You know, when it’s crappy out, at least I’d be inside anyway, so there’s not this pull to go outside to be rained in.  I think that — look, I don’t have, like, a magic answer for that.  I think the more anybody can get outside, the better.  I think that, you know, that’s just science.  That’s not me even talking.  What I also know about our own well-being: getting our kids outside and getting fresh air — they don’t care if they’re cold.  If you bundle them up — you know, my brother lives in Seattle, and he’s a big fan of saying, there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad gear.

Alyssa:  True!

Laine:  You know, so you bundle up properly; you get the right rain gear on, you know.  I went on a — I did a 30-day mountaineering course a long time ago in a mountain range in Wyoming, and, you know, we were suited up for whatever came.  So, you know, we did whatever we did, whether it was raining or snowing or, you know, whatever.  So I believe in that, too.  And, you know, so I think bundling them up and getting them outside — you may not want to be out in it.  I totally get that, but let them go out; let them breathe some fresh air.  For the adults, there’s lot of science around this concept of getting some benefit, some of the same benefit you would get if you were to go outside by just looking outside.  So if you position yourself near a window, if you have a view — you know, I know people like my family in New York City, sometimes the view is a brick wall.  Like, that might not feel so good.  But watching a nature video is not the best, but it’s better than nothing.  You know, there’s a reason why they play a lot of those nature videos in waiting rooms and doctors office, right, to just, like, have people chill and relax.  Listening to nature sounds on your, you know, your radio station or your Alexa or whatever you’ve got going on in your house and just having that as the backdrop for your home can be a very soothing thing to do.  And, again, it’s not — I’m not saying that will solve the issue, but it’s better than nothing.

Alyssa:  Well, I think this is really helpful stuff.  Is there anything else that, you know, just a parent right now going through this, that you would love for them to hear or know, and then tell them how to get ahold of you, too.  I mean, even though we’re on opposite ends of the country, I feel like virtual support is just kind of the thing right now, so we can support people anywhere.

Laine:  For sure.  And I have an online course designed for just that.  Yeah, I think what I want to tell parents is to remember that you’re not alone, and as trite or as cheesy as that may sound right now, it’s really important to remember to universalize what you’re going through and just pay attention to how you’re talking to yourself, what you’re saying to yourself, because that’s the stuff that will sink in and eventually will come out at your kids.  So just keep your self-talk top of mind.  Right?  Be really, really aware of what you’re saying to yourself.  So, you know, I’m going to just practice self-compassion; kindness.  You know, make sure you’re doing your best to talk to yourself the way you would talk to a really good friend or the way you’d want a good friend to talk to you, and if that’s a totally foreign concept to you, that is a practice that can be learned.  It’s something that I teach.  And as far as getting in touch with me, you can visit my website, and I’ve got a free course there.  People can watch that and certainly get a lot of great information about discipline without breaking their child’s spirit and without losing their own mind, which I think is essential right now.  And if anybody listening to this knows — I just want to give a special shoutout to people who are, like, yeah, I know parenting is hard, but, like, my situation, it’s, like, really hard.  Like, they’re really struggling.  Then I just invite you to book a free call with me.  And that’s a free session, and I’m happy to have a conversation, a parenting conversation, and see how I can help people.  Happy to do it.

Alyssa:  Well, thank you so much for joining!  We will have another podcast after this.  We’re going to talk about sleep and parenting.

Laine:  Awesome.  Sounds great.  Can’t wait!

Alyssa:  Thanks for listening, everybody!

 

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Stylish scandinavian newborn baby room with toys, children's chair, natural basket with teddy bear and small shelf. Modern interior with grey background walls, wooden parquet and stars pattern.

Planning a Nursery During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Pregnancy, Sleep / / , , , , , ,

Today’s guest blog is written by Isabella Caprario, Content Marketing Specialist at Porch.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, we all feel uncertainty. We don’t know what will happen or what steps to take next. We only know that the best way to end this madness is to sit at home and take all the necessary precautions to be able to take care of ourselves and our family. Stay home and stay safe.

Being quarantined can feel a bit overwhelming. We may feel stressed or anxious about being locked up in our homes, but it definitely doesn’t have to be that way! We must focus on the positive. I firmly believe that we will become better humans, more responsible with our environment, and above all think more about others than ourselves.

For future parents that still have to continue planning a nursery for their baby during this pandemic, there is no need to panic or worry! In this post, I will give some tips, recommendations, and activities to create the perfect nursery for your needs and those of your baby.

Where to start:
At this point, surely you already have defined the place, space, and distribution of what the nursery room will be like; and if not, the first thing that we should consider is, what is the space/place that would be most suitable for the baby?

To answer this question, the most important things to take into account are the following:

  • A place/room that is close to yours and is easily accessible.
  • The room has enough light during the day, can be darkened for naps and bedtime, and is isolated from any type of noise that may scare or awaken the baby.
  • It must have the right temperature for the baby to feel comfortable and safe in his/her new space.
  • It has to be a pleasant and comfortable space for parents as well.
  • The room must have the necessary space to have everything that the baby requires, such as a crib, a diaper station/changing station, chair for feeding, and a space to accommodate clothing.

Once we have defined the most appropriate place for your baby, we go to the next step which would be to choose a theme, if you wish. This allows you to purchase accessories and decorate the nursery based on that theme.

Getting started:
The best place to get creative ideas is Pinterest. Here you can find color designs and everything you need for your nursery. If you do not already have an account, I recommend you get one so you are able to create a board and save all the ideas that you like the most.

Tip1: “Less is more”. Go for a minimalist look since it helps to make a room seem wider, cleaner, and more organized. It will help you save money and look more luxurious at the same time.

Taking into account how we want to distribute the nursery, colors, furniture, and accessories, we can start planning online purchases.

Choosing the right furniture:
Since we currently can’t leave our homes during the pandemic, luckily, we can still shop for the furniture and accessories that we need. Online stores are still open and many are offering sales!

First of all, we must create a list of our favorite online stores. Creating this list will help us to make a comparison of prices and items between stores. Once this comparison is made, we can remove from the list those stores that have very high prices, those that do not offer a wide variety of products, or those that are lower quality.  It is up to you how you prefer to discard possible online stores.

Tip 2: Use an excel spreadsheet to organize your options. Write down the description of the product, where you found it (online store link), delivery time, delivery cost, how many units are available (enough stock), and price. This planning will help you with budget reduction and delivery time frame.

Also, keep in mind that some online stores will guide you when choosing furniture and accessories and can create a package with discounts and other extra benefits that will help you save money if you place your order in advance.

Get ready for some DIY Projects:
There is no more perfect time than now for some DIY projects at home. A DIY project can be quite therapeutic and will also keep you occupied throughout the day. Your mental health will thank you.  You can exploit your creativity and forget for a moment about what’s happening outside. It can also help you relax and feel productive.

Some DIY ideas to try:

  • Baby blanket arm knitting tutorial. This so much fun and easy to do at home. You will find tutorials on Youtube and Pinterest.
  • Nursery name sign. You can show how creative you are with this activity.
  • Make a nursery mobile. Here you can find different materials you would like to use, like paper, or glitter, etc.

Tip 3: Keep in mind that you should look for DIY projects that you can make at home with the things that you already have. Do not do very large projects that might make you feel overwhelmed because you lack the necessary materials or it’s simply not coming out as you would like.

Planning your nursery is a very fun and relaxing activity, despite being in a difficult situation. It’s better to smile and spread that happiness and positivity to your family and your baby on the way.

Isabella Caprario is a SEO Marketing Specialist and does Content Marketing at Porch. She has an International MBA, and her hobbies are reading, writing, and music. 

 

Planning a Nursery During the COVID-19 Pandemic Read More »

A new mom and dad pose in a hospital room with their newborn baby

Virtual Birth Support: Podcast Episode #95

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Birth, Doulas, Pregnancy / / , , , , , , , ,

Sam & Justin recently had their baby boy, Judah, in the hospital in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic.  They describe their experience in the hospital as well as how beneficial birth doula support was throughout pregnancy and then during labor and delivery, even though support was virtual instead of in-person.  You can listen to this complete podcast on iTunes or SoundCloud.

 

Alyssa:   Hi, welcomes to the Ask the Doulas Podcast.  I am Alyssa Veneklase, co-owner of Gold Coast, and today I’m talking to Samantha and Justin, who recently had a baby at a hospital in this midst of this Coronavirus pandemic.  We’re going to talk to you about what that was like.  Gold Coast is not attending births after Governor Whitmer’s declaration that we have to stay at home, and we don’t know when the order will be lifted.  So we kind of just wanted to get a sense of what it was like for you two to go through this whole process.  How far along were you when you hired us?

Samantha:  Pretty early when we found out.  We knew when we were trying to get pregnant that having a doula was something that was really important to us, as well as a midwife and just trying to go that more natural route.  So the minute we found out we were pregnant, it was kind of getting things in plan.  So I would say after the first trimester after we kind of told everybody.

Alyssa:  So you hired pretty early, and that was before all this crazy virus stuff happened.  And you worked with Kristin and Ashley as your birth doula team.  Even before all this stuff happened, what did support look like through the majority of your pregnancy?

Samantha:  It was wonderful.  Being a first time mom, obviously, you have a ton of questions, and I just didn’t want to be the person to be blowing up my midwife all the time, plus it’s hard to get ahold of them.  Our midwife was through Spectrum, so obviously you can’t just pick up the phone and call her.  It’s not as easy.  So being able to have a team of doulas that, any question I had from — I had artisan cheese one day and freaked out thinking I did something wrong.  So to be able to text them things like that and just have that reassurance all the time was awesome, as well as after every appointment, they wanted updates on what’s going on with baby, so it was just that extra support and knowing that they’re there no matter how stupid the question was.

Alyssa:  Well, and as a first time mom, I think we feel like all of our questions are stupid.  Oh, I hear the baby!  Hi, Judah!  So, yeah, obviously, because of this, we’re on speakerphone, and they’re at home and I’m at my home because nobody can go into work.  You guys are quarantined at home with the baby, which is probably kind of a blessing in disguise, maybe.  You can actually kind of hunker down and just focus on bonding and feeding and all these great things without visitors.  But like you said, Grandma comes over and she can’t see the baby!  That’s so hard.

Justin:  It’s been a blessing for dads, I think, especially because I would have had to go back to work today.  I am working, but it’s from home and it’s slower, and I’ve got some time to help support Sam and build my relationship with Judah, too, so it’s kind of a blessing in disguise for — I mean, it sucks, but it’s been nice.

Samantha:  And as a new mom, you’re hunkered down.  I mean, I was planning on not leaving my house for a month, anyway, so it’s kind of nice, especially during this quarantine time, because you’re quarantined anyway with a newborn, so it gives you something to do and keep occupied with.

Alyssa:  Right.  Well, and focus on the positive, right?  Like, there’s so many negatives that we can be focusing on, but you’re stuck at home with a newborn baby.  Boohoo, right?  This is what you’ve been looking forward to for nine months!

Samantha:  Exactly, exactly.

Alyssa:  So your support during pregnancy really would have been the same, Coronavirus or not, because it’s a lot of text and phone calls and emails, right?  It’s all virtual, anyway?

Samantha:  Yeah.  Yeah, that wouldn’t have changed, and like I said, they were available pretty much 24/7, so it was just nice to always have them in our back pocket when we needed them.

Alyssa:  Right.  Tell me about the labor, then.  What happened when you were at home, and how did that support, the actual virtual support after finding out that your doulas can’t support you in person, how did virtual support look then once labor began?

Samantha:  So we came up with a plan that we would utilize anything that we needed.  If we needed to do a video chat, we had my laptop ready to go to bring to the hospital.  But once labor started, we kind of — before I went into labor, we talked over, you know, what are the signs, when we should contact them, how long I wanted to labor at home; all that stuff that we would have done anyway if it was just normal circumstances.  So when I went into labor, it was the middle of the night, of course, and we texted both of them and ended up calling Kristin.  She was the one who answered, and we told her how far apart the contractions were.  She could hear, you know, how I sounded and could tell that they were ramping up.  You know, you can just — moms — everybody says moms have the telltale sign of when contractions aren’t a joke anymore.  So, yeah, she said, yep, sounds like you’re really getting in the swing of labor.  She told me to get something to eat before I went to the hospital and kind of gave us some tips before we — as Justin was packing the bag and getting our bags in the car, some tips I could do before we headed out the door.  And so we did that and then headed to the hospital, and from the moment we got there in triage, I had a couple — well, of course, birth is always unexpected, but I had a couple things come up that I wasn’t expecting to happen.  So from the moment we were in triage, we were in constant contact with Kristin and Ashley, whether it was me or — it was actually mostly Justin.

Justin:  Yeah.  I actually took — like, I would step out of the room a few times just to call her.  There was just a couple moments there when we were down in triage where she was uncomfortable, and the room is a little small.  It was hard to get into that calm state of mind that we were looking for.  So without trying to stress Sam out, I stepped out of the room and just called Kristin.  I was, like,  hey, you know, what are some things I could try to, you know, bring her back into this calm state of mind that we’ve been working on forever.  It was great.  She gave us some positions to try, some things to talk to the nurses about.  Like, she knew there was a tub down in the triage area, so she said to go ask them to use the tub.  So it was good to have them just there — just any questions we had, just to call real quick.

Samantha:  Yeah.  And we had a couple unexpected things, because I wanted to labor naturally, but we had some issues.  I had a LEEP procedure a couple months ago.  Well, not a couple months ago; about a year ago, but that caused some scar tissue that made my labor really difficult.  So we had to have the conversation of having an epidural because my labor was so erratic and my body was under a lot of stress.  So that decision we talked over with the doulas.  And then having Pitocin brought in, which was also something that was on our “absolute no” list, but it was nice to be able to call Kristin.  Spectrum was wonderful, too.  I mean, the nurses and midwives were great as far as giving us all the information we needed and then giving us time to talk it over.  But having Kristin there to be able to call and say, here’s what they’re telling us, here’s what we’re thinking — to have that reassurance from them was huge, especially because our birth plan changed so much, and it was upsetting for me, especially.

Alyssa:  Right.  That’s hard when we get into this mindset of, like, here’s my plan and I’m going to stick to it, and baby or your body says otherwise.  To have an expert to ask those questions and give feedback that’s not — and I think that’s one thing a lot of people thing, that doulas are there to tell you what to do.  It’s more about asking you the right questions so you can figure out what’s right for you.

Justin:  Just having that — just having that information so that we can make our own decision.  Just having them giving us all the proper information we knew everything that was at stake and we could make a better, informed decision.  It was a huge help.

Alyssa:  Right.  Knowledge is power in this instance, for sure.

Samantha:  Yeah, and even the positions.  Once I did get the epidural and Pitocin, we still wanted to do a really low dose of Pitocin to try to have my body naturally ramp up contractions, so Ashley and Kristin sent us a bunch of pictures of positions we could try.  They were always available for Facetiming and virtual, as well, but we never needed to.  But to have that in the back pocket was comforting, as well, that if we needed to virtually see them face to face, knowing that we could do that was very comforting for me, especially.

Alyssa:  So once you actually moved from triage to the labor and delivery room, you said you didn’t actually have to use Facetime or anything.  Was it more of you, Justin, were in contact with them because Sam was in active labor?

Justin:  Yeah.  It was a lot of text messages and a few phone calls.  If it was something we wanted to all talk out together, we’d call, or if it was just a quick question, I’d just shoot them a message real quick.

Samantha:  And I definitely think if I didn’t need — if I wouldn’t have had the epidural, we definitely would have utilized Ashley and utilized some of our HypnoBirthing techniques to help me get through labor and probably would have used virtual face to face more, but just because things moved so fast as far as me needing some intervention, it again changed our plan as far as utilizing the doulas a little bit differently.  But, yeah, it was constant contact throughout the whole labor process, and it was actually nice after I did get the epidural.  I was able to then talk to them and tell them what’s going on and what kind of positions I can try and different things like that.  So the plan changed a little bit, but staying in constant contact with them didn’t.  It was pretty consistent throughout the whole labor process.

Alyssa:  And what about when you got to the point where you were ready to push?  Was there anything they could do to support you during that time?

Samantha:  Well, we planned on having them Facetime for that, but my pushing went very quickly.  I only pushed for about 30 minutes, and we didn’t even — when we started, it was — we texted them saying, oh, they want us to do some practice pushes, and 30 minutes later, we were messaging them saying, well, baby’s here!  So, yeah, we had the whole plan set up for them to help — especially because I had an epidural, they were really going to help me try to breathe baby down, which is what we ended up doing, but to have them face to face so they could see what was going on.  But it just ended up happening so fast that we weren’t able to do that.  But after baby came, we were in contact with them, telling them his birth weight and all that stuff, and once we got up to the room, letting them know how latching was going as far as breastfeeding.  So it was just the best experience possible, especially because I was so devastated, you know, being nine months pregnant and all this emotional — that’s emotional in itself, and then to find out your birth plan is completely blown to smithereens…

Justin:  Two weeks before we even go to the hospital.

Samantha:  Yeah, two weeks before the hospital.  It was just terrifying, but to have them there in that virtual sense was everything because it would have been a very different experience if we weren’t able to have them at all, that’s for sure.

Alyssa:  So let’s say a couple just found out they’re pregnant, and they knew they wanted a doula, like you, but then they have this worry.  They’re going to do the hospital birth; they want a doula, but the doula may or may not be able to be there.  What would you say to a family who’s kind of on the fence about hiring a doula because of the current situation?

Samantha:  I would say, hire.  Hire a doula because, yeah, the situation has changed, but I think even more in this time, you need that extra support more than ever, especially because, in my circumstance, my midwife wasn’t even able to be there.  I had a totally different team because of the way they split up her team, so not only is your birth plan changed, but then my midwife who I’ve been seeing for the last nine months wasn’t able to be there.  So just to have that team, that constant contact, still stay the same even though they’re not there in person, was just a huge comfort and relief for me.  And especially for Justin.

Justin:  I was going to say, for the fathers-to-be out there, I think it’s even more important for them.  We went through a lot of the classes and stuff, and we had good knowledge going in, but you get in the heat of the situation, and you know, her surges and contractions were starting to really hurt her, and I didn’t know what to do in that situation.  So we had this whole plan, and I was doing my best to stick to this plan, and when you get thrown that curve ball, having someone to turn to and just get that reassurance.  I might have made the right decision in that situation, but just to have them say, “Yeah, you did,” or, you know, this is — “Yeah, you did do a good job there.  This is what’s going to happen.  Here’s the outcome.”  Just having that extra sense of security in this very unsecure time is a huge benefit.  Even though they’re not there, it was almost like they were, and it was very helpful, especially for the dads that sometimes might feel a little lost.

Alyssa:  Right, which usually, most of them, I feel like, they do probably feel a little bit lost.

Justin:  Especially the first time.

Samantha:  Yeah, and it takes the pressure off, too, you know, just because I’m telling him one thing, and he’s trying to say, you know, it’s going to be okay, but for him to then reach out to the doulas and say, you know, here’s what’s going on, and for them to not only give me reassurance but him was a game changer, for sure.

Alyssa:  And like you said, you’ve built a rapport with them throughout your pregnancy.  I didn’t know that your midwife couldn’t be there either!  So without your doulas, you would have not had your midwife either, and you would have literally been in a hospital with a bunch of nurses who you’ve never met, and that was it.

Justin:  Right.  Exactly.

Samantha:  And thankfully, we had an amazing team.  Our nurses and midwives that we ended up getting were amazing.  But also, you’re going — it’s your first time.  You’re laboring.  It’s new.  And then you have a whole bunch of strangers, so you’re throwing that mix in it.  So having the doulas there that we’ve had throughout the whole pregnancy, virtually, even though they couldn’t be there, was such a comfort because it just — you had somebody to turn to that you know.

Justin:  One more thing, too, is the hospital — I don’t know about other hospitals in the area, but Spectrum — it was like a fortress.  It was so clean and locked down in there.  We kind of forgot this whole thing we even going on until we left.  I mean, I went down in the cafeteria a few times, and every time I went down there, a whole different section was being completely pulled out and cleaned.  There was no visitors walking around.  There was no one walking around.  I mean, it really did feel like a fortress.  Even getting into the building, we had to go through a couple security checkpoints, so if anyone was worried about the hospital part of it, I think that especially Spectrum, that I know of, I think they’re doing a very good job of keeping everything separated, and the sections of the hospital that need to be cleaned and all that.

Alyssa:  That’s a good point.  For those who maybe have that as a main point of fear for them, delivering in the hospital, they’re doing everything right.  I mean, they obviously want to keep their patients safe and healthy.  It’s got to be weird to walk through that hospital and hardly see anybody because there’s no visitors.

Samantha:  It was weird pulling up because they have the whole security detail, and it was, like, “Why are you here?  What’s going on?”  It was very weird, but like Justin said, it ended up — I almost was sad to leave, just because you’re in this clean, sterile bubble, and like I said, we almost forgot about this whole Corona thing because you’re in — you are — you end up being in the bliss of having your baby, even though it’s such a scary time.  But having — you know, right after he was born, we talked with Ashley and Kristin, and then it was just kind of that blissful — we went up to the room, and they’re doing a very good job.  Obviously, things change, but I think they have it pretty locked down.

Alyssa:  That’s great.

Justin:  They’re definitely out in front of it.

Alyssa:  So then you guys go home, and usually, they do a postpartum visit, but I’m assuming they did that virtually, as well.

Samantha:  Yes.

Alyssa:  Did you have that already?

Samantha:  We did.  From the moment we got home, too, we were in constant contact with them, from them asking how he was sleeping.  I had a couple questions just as far as my recovery and what I could do for comfort as far as that goes, just because as a new mom, you just don’t really expect the discomfort.  I kept thinking, you know, I didn’t have stitches or anything like that, so I thought, oh, I’m going to be good, but you don’t realize what you’ve put your body through.  So it was just nice to have them there so I could say, I’m feeling — you know, what can I do about this pressure that I’m feeling?  I’m having some pain and discomfort here.  To have that support on the postpartum aspect, because, you know, this whole time leading up to the birth, you’re thinking pregnancy and delivery and labor and all that, but postpartum support is also huge, and they really, really helped with that, giving me ideas and tips of helping my milk supply come in.  It was just — they’ve been wonderful.  And we just had our virtual visit with them face to face, and that was great to be able to see them.  They could see the baby.  And then to tell them the birth story, since they weren’t there — I mean, they were there, but they weren’t.

Alyssa:  They got bits and pieces but finally got to hear the whole thing.  That’s great.  Well, is there anything else that you wanted to add or that you think other parents should know?

Samantha:  I just think if you’re on the fence, I mean, nothing — I had this whole — I thought I planned for even the most unexpected in pregnancy, and I definitely didn’t because pregnancy can change in an instant.  But I think that’s why even more now in these times to have that extra support and to have a doula because we plan on having another child, and I’ve already said to them — I said, well, hopefully you guys will be there in person for our next baby!  But I couldn’t imagine going through labor and birth and even through pregnancy and postpartum without having a doula and support, and I think Justin feels the same way.

Justin:  Absolutely.

Samantha:  It’s like having your best friends to be able to talk to, and it’s such a comfort, especially —

Justin:  But a best friend who’s also very knowledgeable!

Alyssa:  Your best friend who’s knowledgeable and judgment-free and can give you all the best support.

Samantha:  Yeah.  And especially because my birth plan changed so much in the sense of having to have interventions, which I didn’t think I was going to, so that was even more unexpected, and to be able to — you know, you’re in the rush of the moment, and I was really upset, and, you know, you get down on yourself as a new mom thinking you’re failing in some aspect.  To be able to have them — obviously, Justin can sit there and tell me all day that I’m doing the right thing, but to have somebody else who’s not only gone through that experience but seen other women and giving me advice and telling me what I’m doing and the decisions I’m making are right for me and my baby was such a relief and such a comfort because it’s such an emotional time, and when things aren’t going already as planned, and then you throw in more wrenches into the mix, it can overwhelming.  So to have them as support was just everything to me.

Alyssa:  Thank you so much for sharing!  I wish that I could see little Judah, too.

Samantha:  I know!  I know.

Alyssa:  It’s really hard!  But, yeah, focus on bonding with that little guy.  How’s breastfeeding and everything going?

Samantha:  Breastfeeding is going good.  We’ve had to supplement a little just because he’s such a peanut, but, again, they’ve helped with that, as well, just because that can be hard as a mom.  You know, you think, oh, breastfeeding is going to be this simple thing, and it’s hard.  Being able to talk it over with people — they’ve given me some great articles, and I had a virtual meetup with some new moms that Kristin suggested, a team that I should join in on, and that was really helpful.  I got some great tips from that, and to not only see new moms who delivered around the same time as I had, and that was all virtual and really cool to be able to hear from them.  You know, they might not be going through the same issues as I am, but to hear they’re also having questions and not knowing what to do was really reassuring because you can get stuck in this loop of, why is this not working for me?  What am I doing wrong?  Why is it so easy for everybody else?  And you don’t realize other moms have, you know, if not the same issues, then different issues.  It’s all different for each person.

Alyssa:  Yeah.  It’s not easy for everybody else.  It just seems like it is.

Samantha:  It does, and it’s easy to get down on yourself and think, oh, you know, woe is me, why is it not working for me?  But to be able to have not only doulas but then give me other resources to be able to reach out to was also great, as well.

Alyssa:  That’s awesome.  Thank you for taking the time to share your story!

Samantha:  Of course!  Thank you

 

Virtual Birth Support: Podcast Episode #95 Read More »

Coronavirus (COVID-19)

COVID-19 Reduce Your Risk!

Birth, Parenting, Pregnancy, Self-Care, Sleep / / , , , , , , ,

 

Reduce Your Risk by Megan Mouser, NP.
March 31, 2020

STATISTICS COVID-19
With statistics regarding the novel coronavirus changing daily (and even hourly), the most up-to-date information can come from Michigan Department of Health and Human Services as well as the Centers for Disease Control. To date, at the time of this publication, there have been over 163,000 cases in the U.S. alone with over 2,860 deaths. Michigan appears to be an emerging epicenter for COVID-19, making our efforts to reduce the spread of this virus even more emergent.

WHAT ARE WE SEEING? WHY SHOULD WE BE CONCERNED?
Locally we are beginning to see an increase in cases. Today there are 108 presumed positive tests with 119 tests pending. You can find local updates for Kent County on the Access Kent website.

With coronavirus being a new (novel) virus, very little is known about best practices. This is why you are seeing information and decisions varying day to day. The clinical picture for those suffering from this virus can range dramatically from very mild symptoms (including some with no reported symptoms) to severe illness resulting in death. Current treatment options are fairly limited, however new therapies and studies are emerging. Even with recovery from the illness, long-term consequences are possible. Coronavirus is also very easily transmitted, even without an individual ever presenting with symptoms. This is why socially distancing and practicing preventative measures is so important! In regards to healthcare resources here in West Michigan, we are preparing for a large influx of possible patients from this virus which will put a strain on our healthcare resources if we do not slow the spread. We are already beginning to see this in the metro Detroit area.

GENERAL RECOMMENDATIONS
We cannot stress enough the importance of washing your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds (if not available, use hand sanitizer with at least a 60% ethanol or 70% isopropanol alcohol content), covering your mouth and nose with your elbow when coughing or sneezing, avoid touching your face, cleaning “high touch” surfaces daily, limiting your contact to only people in your household, and practicing social distancing by remaining at least 6 feet apart from anyone else if you absolutely must go out.

I also think it is important to recognize that this is a very stressful time for many of us and it is important for our overall health to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves including getting adequate sleep, regular exercise, eating a nutritious and healthy diet, getting out for some fresh air (while maintaining social distance), reaching out to our support systems, and allowing yourself some “slack” regarding loss of control and frustrations.

In regards to specific populations, this virus does pose a higher risk to people who are older or have other serious chronic medical conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, or lung disease. Women who are pregnant are also considered at increased risk, however to date limited data is available regarding this illness during pregnancy. Coronavirus has not been shown to cross into amniotic fluid or into breastmilk at this time. However, if a pregnant woman became ill with the virus, additional precautions would certainly need to be taken at the guidance of your healthcare team. While on the topic of pregnancy, we can rest assured that healthcare providers and hospital staff are working diligently to reduce the risk and spread of COVID-19. While locally there has been visitor restrictions in place at the hospitals, your support person (as long as healthy) will be able to support you through delivery and hospitalization at this time.

Infants are also considered to be more at risk for not only COVID-19, but illness in general due to underdeveloped immune systems at birth. I would encourage all new parents to continue to practice not only standard precautions (including hand washing, cleaning surfaces, avoiding sick contacts, etc.) but also to continue to restrict visitors to the home after delivery to only members of the household. While this is certainly a time to celebrate your new addition, our primary goal is a healthy baby and family!

As for older children and teenagers, we know that this is very challenging time with the cancellation of schools or daycares and changes to routines and schedules. The risks for these age groups from coronavirus continues to be present, therefore as difficult as it can be to enforce and practice social distancing, it is imperative for parents to not only model this behavior but to also help our children understand why this is necessary. In a time of uncertainty, parents can continue to lessen anxiety in children by discussing together as a family, remaining calm, and continuing to offer love and support.

As a community we all share responsibility to continue efforts to reduce the significant risk from COVID-19!

Reputable Resources:
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Michigan Department of Health and Human Services 
World Health Organization

Megan Mouser is a board certified Family Nurse Practitioner serving the Grand Rapids area since 2014.  Born and raised in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, she completed her Bachelor’s of Science in Nursing through Northern Michigan University and went on to obtain her Masters of Science in Nursing through Michigan State University.  She has over a decade of experience working with infants and children in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, and most recently seeing both adults and children in her outpatient family practice office. She also volunteers her time teaching graduate students as an adjunct clinical faculty member with Michigan State University School of Nursing’s graduate program.  Megan is passionate about preventative medicine and creating strong relationships with her patients and families in order to provide personalized, high-quality healthcare. Megan resides in Grand Rapids with her husband Matt and two golden doodle rescues “Max” and “Marty”. In her free time she enjoys spending time with her family and friends, traveling, being in nature, cooking, and gardening.

 

COVID-19 Reduce Your Risk! Read More »

MJ wooden letters with a picture of two embryos

A Journey Unlike Any Other

Parenting, Pregnancy, Self-Care / / , , , , , , , ,

To all of the couples who have had retrievals, transfers, and IVF schedules postponed or affected by the Corona virus outbreak my heart breaks for you. IVF is no small or easy journey; it takes a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical state. It’s beautiful and terrifying all at the same time. It’s expensive and stressful. It’s all the feels at once every single day.

My journey with the Fertility Center of West Michigan began after my son was born. I suffer from secondary infertility. My son was conceived naturally and born in May of 2012. I began doing hormone therapy to conceive again a year after he was born. Unfortunately every pregnancy I had resulted in a miscarriage. We did several months of hormone therapy and endured four miscarriages. Unfortunately we never made it to IVF, instead my then husband and I divorced in 2016. I remarried in 2018 and in January of 2019 my Husband, Matt, and I began working with the Fertility Center again doing the hormone therapy for 6-months, which again resulted in another miscarriage. It was time to step up our game.

After taking a break in April of 2019, Matt and I decided to travel and take some time away from the constant thought of trying to get pregnant. It had become a chore and that can be so hard on a marriage. When December rolled around we decided to get on the IVF list and signed up for March of 2020. During this wait I began doing something for myself, I started taking a close look at my own health and began to prepare my body for pregnancy. Starting IVF at 35 years old made me a senior citizen in this setting. My body had changed immensely since my first pregnancy. So I began working with my coworkers at Grand Rapids Natural Health to address my thyroid and hormone issues as well as my food sensitivities and stress. I began weekly acupuncture sessions that I planned to do all the way through IVF and into pregnancy. I was working out to build my body’s strength to carry a baby and to create healthy habits I could continue into my pregnancy. I also began sharing my journey with the world via Instagram.

Sharing my journey was very important to me. Working in the health industry I notice too often that these sensitive topics are not spoken about enough and I wanted to share my story in hopes that my own vulnerability might help others along their journey. I wanted to empower women to talk about their pain, their loss, and their sadness instead of hiding it from the world. I found once I started to share my journey that there were so many others like me out there. I didn’t feel that I was carrying that burden alone anymore which was incredibly comforting.

When February arrived they started me on birth control. During this time we did our mock transfer and Endosee. I was thankful for the mock transfer because it calmed my nerves and answered a lot of my questions in regards to how the procedure worked. Since I have undiagnosed infertility an Endosee was performed to make sure that my uterus looked healthy and had no underlying problems that may prevent me from getting pregnant. We then met with Dr. Young and our nurse who walked us through every detail of our care during this process. Since my problems weren’t about getting pregnant, but more about keeping a pregnancy, our plan was a little different than what they were use to seeing. They decided, because of my age and history of miscarriages, that they would transfer two embryos. Our chances of twins are now much higher since twins are on both sides of our family, my age, this being my second pregnancy, and because we are transferring two embryos. As scary as that sounded we took our chances and agreed to the two embryo transfer. From there we waited for my period.

During our wait I began getting myself organized, ordering medications, supplements, syringes and needles for injections, and sharps containers, all of which were provided by our pharmacy. I found so many wonderful resources along the way to help me organize and reduce the stress of injections. My favorite was My Vitro. My Vitro is a small business that have created organizational items that help make the process of IVF a bit smoother. I was so thankful for their Caddy and mat. It helped me organize everything I needed everyday in one place. They also offered the gel hot cold pads to use before and after injections to ease the pain of the needle pokes. They were a great resource for support since they were a couple who had also been through the IVF journey and created products they wish they had had when they were going through it.

When February 28th arrived I began my injections. I started with two evening injections. The Follistem and Menopur injections were used to increase the number of follicles and to help with the quality of the eggs. I did these every night between the hours of 6pm and 8pm in the belly, until I was instructed to stop using them on day 10. Alongside these injections I had blood work and Ultrasounds every other day to measure my progress and determine exactly when I would be ready for my trigger shot and retrieval. On day six of my cycle we introduced an injection of Cetrotide, which was also administered in the belly daily in the morning hours between 6am and 10am. Cetrotide inhibits the premature LH surge to prevent ovulation from occurring while the follicles are maturing. By March 6th my ultrasounds and blood work had become a daily routine instead of every other day. By March 7th I was done with my Follistem & Menopur injections, and by March 8th I took my last injection of Cetrotide and was instructed to take my trigger shot. The trigger shots consisted of two injections, hCG (Human Chorionic Gonadatropin) and Lupron, one in the belly and one in the muscle of the upper thigh. These two injections were used to trigger ovulation, help the eggs to mature, and make it easier to retrieve the eggs from the ovaries.

Monday, March 9th I had my last ultrasound and no injections that day which I was so thrilled about because I had a really hard time with the injections making me physically ill, causing migraines and vomiting. Everyone reacts differently to the medications and they all have different side effects. Some women don’t have any trouble with the medication, others do and that was just how my body reacted to them. Our retrieval was scheduled for the morning of March 10th and we were ready to rock. The procedure went beautifully with the successful extraction of nine eggs. Three of the nine were immature; six were mature and ready for fertilization. We did a two-day fertilization process and ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection), a technique for in vitro fertilization in which an individual sperm cell is introduced into an egg cell. We were thrilled to hear they all fertilized beautifully.

Thursday, March 12th was our transfer date and our two little embabies transferred smoothly. After our transfer we would continue injections of Progesterone up to the day of our pregnancy test. If we were not pregnant we would stop taking the progesterone. If we were pregnant we would continue injections for 11-weeks in the muscle of the upper booty. Progesterone is the hormone that is needed to maintain the lining of the uterus and to help support a pregnancy. Now it was time to go home, rest and wait.

After our transfer was complete, our 2-week wait had begun but I had never anticipated what would happen next. That Friday morning, I woke up to the school closings due to the Corona Virus. Our State was gearing up to take action against the spread of this deadly virus that seemed to be doubling in cases overnight. By Monday morning I read with tears in my eyes a message from the Fertility Center of West Michigan that they were suspending initiation of new treatment cycles and strongly recommended patients consider canceling upcoming embryo transfers due to lack of data on the risk if pregnancy complications when COVID-19 is acquired during first or early second trimester of pregnancy. My heart sank. I was terrified for my embabies who just days earlier were tucked into my uterus, and devastated for all the mamas out there that I had met and connected with along my journey. They had supported me every step of the way, they had become sisters and friends throughout this time and now in an instant their worlds, hopes, and dreams came crashing down.

The same day that we were informed that the Fertility Center would be postponing future cycles and transfers, we found out we were pregnant. It was a bittersweet experience at first but I have decided to make it the light that has come out of these dark times. People are dying, losing jobs, and unable to hug loved ones but through it all I was able to finally create life amongst all the turmoil and that is the most beautiful thing in the world. I am taking this time at home and resting, accepting this time as an opportunity to bond with my son before he has to share me with another baby and that is such a gift. I am taking care of my mental, emotional, and physical health and working hard to create a healthy environment to grow a baby in. April 7th is our first ultrasound and my husband will not be allowed to attend it with me to keep down the amount of exposure at the clinic. As disappointing as that is, I am thankful that they are taking these precautions and count my blessings everyday that we have even made it this far because I know so many would love to be in our shoes.

So I ask you to be gentle with yourself, be forgiving, and be kind. Allow yourself to break down and cry, you have earned it. But also be strong, be safe, and be vigilant because your time will come. Take this time if you are able to show yourself some self-care. Eat healthy, exercise, and brain dump into a journal so you can sleep soundly at night. Reach out to me, or a friend along the way, when the days get hard because you are not alone and your story needs to be heard so that others do not feel alone in this time of isolation.

Jen Smits is the Office Manager at Grand Rapids Natural Health.

 

A Journey Unlike Any Other Read More »

Alyssa Veneklase and Kristin Revere sit in an office while podcasting together

Coronavirus Update on Doulas: Podcast Episode #94

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Birth, Doulas, Pregnancy / / , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Kristin and Alyssa, Co-Owners of Gold Coast Doulas, give an update on doulas and the coronavirus.  How is this affecting birth doulas in the hospital and postpartum doulas in the home?  They also talk about virtual classes such as Mama Natural Online to help new parents stay prepared while social distancing.  You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes and SoundCloud.

Alyssa:  Welcome to Ask the Doulas.  You are here with Alyssa and Kristin, and today we’re going to talk a little bit about the coronavirus.  I’m going to let Kristin do most of the talking just to kind of update our friends and clients on the current status.

Kristin:  Yes!  So we are happy to share the protocol within Gold Coast on how we are keeping our doula team, our childbirth educators, and our clients healthy.  We are recording this on March 17th, so things are changing daily, and by the time you listen to this, the information that we’re giving you may be a bit different.  But we did want to respond quickly and have notified all of our clients about our safety protocols.  With birth doula clients, we are doing all our prenatal, our free consultations, and our postpartum meetings virtually.  So our clients now know that they are talking to teams by phone or Zoom meetings or Facetime, whatever the preferred method is.  We’re still giving you that same time and attention; just keeping you safe and healthy during this critical time.

We had been working with area hospital administrators and with the governor’s office to make sure that we were able to support our clients in person, and again, this may change by the time you’re listening to this, but we had a day yesterday where we were told birth doulas would not be able to support in the hospital.  So we contacted all of our clients and made a plan to support in the home before and support virtually in the hospital.  Through work with the governor’s office and area administrators, we were able to obtain entry into area hospitals.  So starting today, that is not an issue.  With the executive order from the governor’s office, a partner and a doula are allowed to admit into area hospitals.  There will be a health screening, and we’re going through credentialing processes with every hospital having different requirements, but we plan to support our clients.  This is as of today, and again, if the outbreak continues, we may need to rely on virtual support.  Because Gold Coast has a big team of birth doulas, we will monitor symptoms of coronavirus and the flu, as we have always done, to assure that a healthy doula will be attending the birth.  We’ll be doing the best we can to isolate our team.  We’re staying home with our families.  We’re not going out into the public unless we need to get provisions.  Going from there to ensure that we’re able to support our clients during this time when they need the emotional and physical support of doulas now more than any time.

Alyssa, I know that in postpartum support, we have made some accommodations as well, and part of that is some of our clients had contracts that were about to expire, and we’ve talked to them about delaying support, and with our postpartum doulas, who our clients want us in the home, we are of course making sure that the doulas are healthy.  We’re using sanitization methods.  If we’re doing cleaning, we’re cleaning doorknobs and handles at our clients’ homes.  We’re coming in with clean clothing, taking our shoes off, as we always do, and using whatever precautions our clients want us to in their home with caring for baby and caring for the mother.  And, again, with our postpartum doula team, we have a lot of doulas.  So if a doula has any symptoms of coronavirus or the flu or even a cold, we are sending in a healthy doula to replace the scheduled doula.  Do you have anything to add to that?

Alyssa:  No.  I mean, nothing’s really changed in that regard.  All of our clients get that same kind of care.  It’s just extra — I guess maybe an extra added step at this point.

Kristin:  And as a sleep expert, part of what we do as postpartum doulas, both daytime and overnight, is allow our clients to rest.  Now, with your sleep certification, I know you focus on newborns and toddlers and so on, but let’s talk a bit about the importance during this time to keep your immune system strong and getting sleep for families.

Alyssa:  Yeah, the problem with sleep deprivation is your immune system starts to decline, and more than ever right now, it’s important to keep your immune systems healthy.  So that means still going outside and getting fresh air, getting exercise.  But you also need sleep.  And with a newborn and/or a toddler at home, that can really be trying.  So the beauty of my sleep consultations is that I don’t need to do it in person.  We can do it via phone and text.  So if that is an issue, you can call me still for that.  But regardless, you just have to focus on sleep.  You have to get your required amount of sleep, and your kids need to be going to bed on time.  I know this feels like a big vacation for them, but you need to have a set bedtime and awake time.  I mean, if we’re going to be in this situation for three to six weeks, they are going to become sleep deprived.  They are going to become little monsters.  It’s going to make your days even harder, but then again their immune systems could start to decline.

Kristin:  Right.  And, again, we do offer sibling care, so we can help with snacks around the house, and we have noticed that a lot of West Michigan families tend to have family support of grandparents or other family members, and now with some of the guidelines for keeping the elderly safe and away from children, I know my kids are being distanced from my parents due to my father’s heart condition and so on.  And so we can come in when you are relying on your family right now and take some of that burden off of you and your partner.

Alyssa:  I have canceled all family functions.  A birthday party, a sleepover.  You know, my parents called and offered to help, and “thanks, but no thanks.”  We’re stuck at home anyway.  There’s nowhere I can go, nothing I can do.  So, yeah, we’re just kind of laying low at the house.

Kristin:  Yeah.  And so people are obviously isolating, canceling things, and we’re able to — we do offer bedrest support, so we are able to do virtual bedrest support if that is something that a client is interested in.  Or, again, support in the home with childbirth education.  We can do mini classes virtually or in home and provide sibling care for our clients who are on bedrest and need to feed their other children, especially now that daycares are closing and schools are closed at least through April 10th, if not longer.  And so we’re adapting as best we can and keeping our team safe.  For clients who are not part of our current childbirth series that has now gone virtual, our Hypnobirthing class started out in person, and due to the coronavirus, we’ve turned that into an online class with our instructor.  But we are an affiliate for Mama Natural, so we wanted to talk about that as an option for clients who are not able to take a hospital childbirth class or take Hypnobirthing or a different child preparation method.  You can go onto our website and sign up for our online affiliate program through Mama Natural and take the class online. We’ve gone through the class.  I personally went through the entire curriculum, and my clients have used it and have had success, so that is a great option during this time when we need to isolate and be at home and still want to prepare our clients and have our clients feel like they’re ready for this birth.

Alyssa:  And Kelly Emery, our lactation consultant, also offers an online pumping class and a breastfeeding class.

Kristin:  Perfect!  So there are some things you can do, and again, things are ever changing, but as of right now, all of the area hospitals are limiting visitors to one support person, so your partner or family member and a doula who is credentialed in area hospitals.  So in the postpartum units, you are not able to have siblings visit or family at this time.  Everything is limited to protect the health workers and the patients.  So it is good to have these conversations with family members.  I always tell my birth clients at prenatals that now is the time to express whether or not you want visitors in your birth space, and now knowing some of these plans have changed, if you have family members flying in, you may want to delay, or if you have older family members or immune-compromised caregivers, then now is the time to have these discussions rather than having disappointment at your due date if you’re due this spring.

Alyssa:  Yeah.  They won’t even be able to come in, and probably family members can’t even fly in at this point.  We’re getting close to that.

Kristin:  Yes.  Domestic travel is limited and could be delayed indefinitely.  So we’re just taking things day by day.  But we want you to remain calm and positive about this and go with the flow, so try not to take in too much negative media and use this time to focus on connecting with your baby.  And if you have other children, reach out to us if we can help.  We’re here for you.

Alyssa:  I think it reiterates the importance of an agency like Gold Coast Doulas being professional and certified and insured and, like you said, credentialed so that we can get into the hospitals.  The hospitals trust us.  They have a list of our certified doulas’ names.  They might ask for a federal ID number.  They might ask for certification; proof of certification.  These are all really important things to consider when hiring a doula anytime, but especially right now.

Kristin:  Yes!  Stay well, everyone !

 

Coronavirus Update on Doulas: Podcast Episode #94 Read More »

Emma Stevens

Meet Emma, our newest birth doula!

Doulas / / , , ,

Meet Emma Stevens, the newest birth doula on the Gold Coast Team. Let’s learn a bit about her!

What did you do before you became a doula?
I am currently finishing up my Communications degree at Hope College where I was able to study abroad in Kenya and intern in a local maternity ward. I also work in assisted living to further my nursing experience.

What inspired you to become a doula?
Ever since I was little, I wanted to work with new moms and infants. My time in the delivery room in Kenya solidified my passion as I was able to comfort women when family members were not allowed into the room.

Tell us about your family.
I have my mom and my dad and two younger sisters. In addition, we have the two cutest wire-haired griffon puppies.

What is your favorite vacation spot and why?
Elbow Cay, Bahamas is where I hold the best memories with my family and friends. We visit often and I have made some great local friendships as well.

Name your top five bands/musicians and tell us what you love about them.
This is always changing but right now it would be these 5:
1. Allen Stone- great driving music
2. Vampire Weekend- reminds me of highschool days and has remained one of my favorite bands since 3. The Mamma Mia soundtrack for singing and dancing!
4. Sauti Sol- My favorite music from Kenya
5. Fleetwood Mac- an oldie but goodie

What is the best advice you have given to new families?
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, do what’s best for YOU and YOUR baby.

What do you consider your doula superpower to be?
Inclusive and non-judgmental support.

What is your favorite food?
Italian food (Indian food is a close second).

What is your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast?
My home!

What are you reading now?
The Birth Partner

Who are your role models?
My parents, Rachel Hollis, and travel vloggers Kara and Nate.

 

Meet Emma, our newest birth doula! Read More »

swaddelini

The Swaddelini Swaddle: Podcast Episode #93

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Sleep / / , , , , , , , , ,

Liz Hilton, founder of Swaddelini, tells us about the unique process she uses to create her amazing swaddle and why her swaddle is different.  You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or SoundCloud.

Kristin:  Welcome to Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas.  I’m Kristin.

Alyssa:  And I am Alyssa.

Kristin:  And we’re here today with Liz Hilton, who happens to be a birth and postpartum client of ours.  She has an amazing product to talk about.  Tell us about your swaddles and where you came up with the idea and more about how we can put it into action!

Liz:  Well, first, thank you so much for having me on your talk.  My product in Swaddelini.  It’s inspired by my firstborn son, Thomas, who was a little Houdini.  Veritable little Houdini; got out of all his swaddles and would constantly wake up from the Moro reflex.  I’m really excited about my next baby that I’m going to be having a couple weeks here because now I’m equipped with a swaddle that is easy to use and protects against the Moro reflex and is completely kick-proof and escape-proof.

Kristin:  You’ll have your own baby model!

Liz:  I know!  I’ll have my own little cute baby model!  My Instagram Swaddelini is going to blow up with pictures of my new baby.  But yeah, what’s different about it is that typically swaddles involves a lot of wrapping or cumbersome closure systems like zippers, Velcro, or God forbid, snaps.  So mine just goes on and off like a sock, and I’ve incorporated some light compression therapy into the chest area to give the sensation of a hug all night long.  So I’ve actually trademarked that as Hug Technology.

Kristin:  Love it!

Liz:  And the individual tubes help keep the arms down for the Moro reflex.  It encourages that sleep safe position of being on the back and arms at the sides.  And then when you need to change the diaper, there’s an easy access diaper flap so you can change the diaper without having to take the swaddle on and off.

Kristin:  That’s such a pain to remove the swaddle and wake the baby!

Liz:  Yeah!  And it’s also adaptable, so with any baby product, you want it to adapt because all babies are different.  Every baby is different.  Every mom is different.  So some babies like their arms out.  Now, part of the thinking behind that is so they can self-soothe when they do wake up from the Moro reflex.  The idea with the Swaddelini is that that won’t happen as often because their arms are encouraged to be down.  But if your baby insists on having their arms out, you can just leave their arms out.  You’re still going to get that Hug Technology benefit.  Probably my favorite thing is that this swaddle is easy to put on, but also doesn’t restrict motion.  That’s one thing that doctors have been telling moms is, you know, don’t swaddle your baby.  It will cause hip dysplasia.  And that’s just because some swaddles, there’s no stopping point when you’re wrapping them or pulling the Velcro.  It’s very easy to do it too tight.  Whereas with this, it’s a four-way stretch knit.  It’s soft.  It’s stretchy.  And there’s no risk in that.  And even though the baby feels hugged all over, they have freedom of movement.  So if, for example, you’re breastfeeding, the baby can, while wearing the swaddle, can kneed your breast but can’t scratch.  Same when they’re sleeping; they can touch their face, but not scratch it.  So that’s another benefit.

Kristin:  And you have different sizes, so as they grow bigger, their swaddle size is based on how many pounds the baby is?

Liz:  I’ve done it that way.  I’ve said the small is good for 6-12 pounds and the large is 12-18 pounds.  The reason I did the larger one is just because there’s that transition where your baby’s kind of rolling over their side, and you’re, like oh, my God.  Is it going to happen?  Are they going to roll over?  Am I going to wake up and my baby’s on their front?  You have all these fears.  What I say is with the larger one — or even with the smaller one, if your baby is toying with rolling over sooner before they’re out of the smaller size, just take one arm and leave it out.  And then one they’re rolling over a lot during the day, you can take both arms out.  If your baby likes to sleep with their feet out, leave the feet out.  My niece slept in her large swaddle between month 8 and 11 until she was ready to get out.  She was smaller, though.  She was a smaller baby, so that’s why she went so long.  But she just didn’t want to leave it, but it was a nice transition.

Alyssa:  And they’re made out of different things.  I’m very curious what the process is and how you make them, too.  We talked a little bit about it on the phone, but I thought it was very cool how you make these.

Liz:  Yeah.  I have two very distinct designs.  The first one I did, I made out of just a bunch of synthetic fibers that I’ve used for compression garments that I’ve made for kids with, like, CP or lymphedema.  And so that helps with the light compression at the chest.  So that part is the same.  For the rest of it, it’s a moisture-wicking nylon-polyester blend.  It feels very lightweight, but it’s actually very cozy and very soft.  You can feel that.

Alyssa:  So soft!

Liz:  Yes!  But at the end of the day, it is a synthetic fiber, right?  I learned very quickly that some moms like natural fibers.  So after much research, I found a supplier of bamboo, and they make this bamboo in a mechanical process versus chemical.  You’ve seen a lot of maybe bamboo-rayon products.  This is not that.  This is just a natural bamboo made in a nonchemical process, and I pair it with a really exciting new fiber.  I’m actually the first in the industry to license this.  It’s called 37.5 because what it does is it regulates your body temperature to put it at a perfect 37.5 degrees Celsius.  So that is why the bamboo swaddles are a little cooler to the touch.

Alyssa:  So adult swaddles will be next.

Liz:  Actually, if you go on my website to the About section and watch my videos, I have my husband in an adult swaddle.  Yeah!  I just made one for a marketing thing, and then I told my husband, hey, will you get in this so I can do a video on YouTube?  And he was, like, you’re going to put it on YouTube?  No, I’m not doing this!  And I’m like, um, I had your baby.

Alyssa:  I’m asking this one thing!

Liz:  Yeah.  So there’s now a video of him in an adult swaddle!

Alyssa:  It sounds really cozy, actually.  I think I would wear one.  I love that it’s easy.  Can you explain putting it on and how it goes on?

Liz:  You basically just scrunch it up like a sock, and then you go in feet first and you get the Hug Technology over the butt area, and then you have it over the chest.  And then you go through the easy access diaper flap.  So stick your arm through that opening at the bottom, and then go through one of the arm tubes and then grab the hand.  Put that hand in yours, and just slide it down so that the arm is in the tube.  And so now their arm can move around, but it just encourages the arm to stay down at the side.  And then you just do that on the other side.  So these arm tubes are very, very stretchy, and their hands are absolutely free to move around.  And then the top naturally curls the opposite direction from their face.  But I also had this product tested at world-class third-party laboratories, where they do a suffocation hazard test.  They literally roll my product up in a ball, put it over a fake infant face, and they measure the CO2, and mine has passed every time.

Alyssa:  That was my question.  You know, you walk in, and it’s like this.

Liz:  That is absolutely fine, and if you wanted to do a suffocation hazard test on any product that you buy, what you do is roll it up and put it against your face and breathe.  With the design, though, it does naturally curl away from the face.  So if you put your baby to sleep like this, they wake up like this.

Alyssa:  And then demonstrate poopy diaper time when you don’t want to wake the baby.

Liz:  We’ve got this flap here, and again, it’s very, very stretchy.

Kristin:  As a doula, I love that.  It’s so easy.

Alyssa:  And do you recommend just like this doll has, like a onesie underneath this?  That’s all you need?

Liz:  Definitely.

Alyssa:  The right temperature?

Liz:  Even just a diaper and socks is fine.  I get that question a lot.  It’s really what you’re comfortable with, what your baby’s comfortable with.  If they’re really tiny and maybe they’re sliding, if their arms are so small they’re sliding out, you can put a onesie, like the sleeves on it, and that friction between the fabric will keep it on.  So then you get access to the diaper.  You do the diaper.  And then you can put it right back on, and you don’t have to take it off.  And then taking it off also is very easy because you just pull it down.  It’s actually easier with a real baby.  You can do it all in one motion.  I’ve gotten that a lot where moms say, oh, I didn’t know it was going to be this easy.  That’s always good!

Kristin:  And you have different designs.  You brought some samples with you.  There’s a fun funky orange and pink and…

Liz:  It’s interesting you say that because the design is pretty much the same.  The only difference is the colors and the fibers.  The blue, pink, orange, and gray here are all in the moisture-wicking synthetic fibers, and these more neutral colors, this neural white-pearl and this cloud-gray are the bamboo.  The best-selling ones are the grays, the grays in both the synthetic and the bamboo, and then orange.  Everyone loves neutrals.  The way this is made is a really interesting process.  One of the benefits of the Swaddelini is that it’s seamless, and it’s seamless because it’s actually manufactured in one piece, in one process, using 3D knitting.  Kind of like the Nike Flyknit shoes.  It’s the same technology, and I have a machine that knits all of these in my garage.  I make them all myself.  I don’t have some manufacturer in China that I outsource this too.  So it’s very, very local.  And it’s actually my life’s work.  I’ve been a 3D knit programmer for over ten years now and working primarily in technical knitting, knitting solutions for office furniture and automotive and aerospace and stuff like that.  But when I had my first baby two and a half years ago, I had an idea to use that same process to solve my swaddling problem.  That became Swaddelini.

Alyssa:  That’s amazing!  You said there’s a couple tiny stitches you have to do yourself at the very end?

Liz:  At the very top because it’s all made with this one end of yard.  At the very top, you have to pull it through a loop and then that’s the final thing that I do.  And I sew on these cute little tags with washing information and stuff like that.

Alyssa:  Yeah, what is the washing information?

Liz:  For the synthetic fiber, I recommend cold.  It will shrink up a bit, but honestly, if that happens to you, let me know.  I can work something out with you because I don’t want someone to get it and have it shrink.  I recommend that, and then air drying it is fine.  But for the bamboo ones, I actually prewash them in a natural, unscented detergent, so they’re already preshrunk.  They won’t shrink anymore.  You can wash and dry them in heat, but I still recommend cold just for longevity.

Alyssa:  Things look better.  I wash all my stuff in cold.  They just last so much longer.

Kristin:  Thanks, Liz!  We appreciate you coming in!  How do people order or find you?

Alyssa:  Well, if you’re a Gold Coast client, you can get a discount.  But for everyone else, what’s the best way to order these?

Liz:  On my website, but if you want to learn more about my product before you buy it, I highly recommend going on my Instagram, @swaddelini, because I have a lot moms on there that have shared their videos of how they use it because every mom might use my product differently.

Kristin:  It’s great for the visual learners.

Alyssa:  I’m going to add this to my newborn class repertoire because I think some people get overwhelmed with the old-fashioned swaddle, and like you said, if you have a really strong baby, they’re popping out of this thing.  So this is a great option, and they’re super cute!

Kristin:  We will definitely check in with you after, since you’re a client of ours, and we can see how it’s working with your own baby and also hear your birth story.  We love hearing personal stories!

Liz:  Well, I’m really excited to have doula support this time because I didn’t last time, and I definitely regret it.

Alyssa:  Yeah, we can have you back in to talk about that and how it was with doulas.

Liz:  That would be awesome!

 

The Swaddelini Swaddle: Podcast Episode #93 Read More »

Kaysie Lancaster

Staying Fit and Healthy During Your Pregnancy

Pregnancy, Self-Care / / , , , ,

My name is Kaysie, and I am currently 20 weeks pregnant. This is my 4th pregnancy and the first one where I have maintained a very healthy and fit lifestyle. I am a mom of three – 16, 13, and 7. After my last child was born I was the heaviest I had ever been and I knew I wanted better for myself. I wanted to set a good example for my children as they grew up. It took a year to lose the weight but almost 6 years to be in the best shape of my life, and I continue to maintain it!!

After I had lost the weight I competed in the NPC bikini competition in 2017 just to say I got up on stage and did it!! Even though the stage was not my favorite, the road it took to get there was what made me who I am today. I surrounded myself with women that empowered me and supported me. After a lot of hard work and dedication, I decided I wanted to be the light for someone else in a tough spot. I wanted to be the woman that supported and empowered other women to be the best versions of themselves. In 2018, I received a certification as a group trainer. Along with that, my knowledge of nutrition has put me in a place to teach others how important their food choices are along with exercise.

I think most of us know how important it is to stay healthy and fit throughout our lifetime. Whether we choose to execute this or not is the hard part. To some it comes easy and natural. To others it may be a very difficult task to complete daily. Now that you’re pregnant, it’s even more important to maintain a healthy lifestyle and some type of daily exercise.

Personally, I am in the gym 4-6 days a week and my workouts last 1.5 hours-2 hours consisting of cardio warmup/HIIT, strength training, and stretching. I eat 1700-2000 calories a day and I carb cycle two days of the week and I drink 90-120 ounces of water daily. I choose to eat organically 98% of the time.

If you’re new to exercise, I don’t recommend starting out as heavily as I do. Even though my body has been used to doing hard exercise for a long time, I keep an eye on my heart rate and don’t go over 150 per my OB’s recommendation.

Here are some tips you can try daily to ensure you continue to have a healthy and fit pregnancy.

Exercise at least 30 minutes daily
(please talk to your doctor/midwife/OB before starting a new exercise routine)

Drink at least half your body weight in ounces of water daily. If you weigh 140 you should be drinking at least 70 ounces if not more.

Eat lots of veggies, some fruit, organic grains, and limit your fat content. Stick to healthy fats like avocados and nuts. (I personally chose to buy all my foods organic.)

Stay away from sugars. Try to only consume sugars from fruits and veggies

Get a good night’s rest.

Stay positive. Surround yourself with people that support you, uplift you, and motivate you to make positive choices for you and your family.

For more health and fitness tips. follow Kaysie on Instagram.

 

Staying Fit and Healthy During Your Pregnancy Read More »

Jessica Kupres, RN

Meet Jessica Kupres, BSN, RN, CLC, CBE – our newest postpartum doula!

Doulas, Postpartum / / , , , ,

1) What did you do before you became a doula? 
I was a labor and delivery nurse for 13 years, a nurse for the maternal infant health program for two years, a phone triage nurse at a pediatric office for almost a year, and am currently working as a childbirth and breastfeeding educator, as well as teach a sibling’s class and infant massage class.

2) What inspired you to become a doula? 
My mother was a doula, though only assisted friends and family. That’s how I saw my first birth at 14 that shaped my future career. I also feel families need a lot of support when a new baby comes home. Unfortunately, most mothers don’t get the help they need.

3) Tell us about your family. 
My Husband and I have been married for 6 years. We have two boys. Kaden is 5 years old and Carson is almost 2. We are a pretty close family, and grandma and grandpa are usually over several times a week. I love to do crafts with my boys.

4) What is your favorite vacation spot and why?  
My favorite vacation spot is Disney World. Every year as a child my family went to Disney World, so there are a lot of very special memories. About every 5 years my family, including my parents and my siblings and their families go down to Disney World together. It is great to spend time with family in the most friendly and magical place in the world!

5) Name your top five bands/musicians and tell us what you love about them. 
1) Justin Timberlake – He has catchy songs that make me want to get up and move.
2) Taylor Swift – I love her songs and she is great to her fans.
3) Imagine Dragons – Just like their music.
4) Ed Sheridan – I like his music and positivity.
5) Colbie Caillat – I like her positivity.

6) What is the best advice you have given to new families? 
Do what works for you and your family. Don’t worry about impressing others or doing what everyone else is doing. Keep life simple at the beginning.

7) What do you consider your doula superpower to be? 
Encouraging others and being calm and nonjudgmental.

8) What is your favorite food? 
Chocolate!

 9) What is your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast?
I love going to the Fredrick Meijer Gardens with my kids because there is so much to do there.

10) What are you reading now?
Love and logic.

11) Who are your role models? 
My Grandmother – she was a strong woman, always spoke the truth, and was a great artist.

 

Meet Jessica Kupres, BSN, RN, CLC, CBE – our newest postpartum doula! Read More »

postpartum physical therapy

Postpartum Recovery

Postpartum, Pregnancy, Self-Care / / , , , , ,

Have you ever heard of an athlete getting back on the field after a major injury WITHOUT a period of rest followed by intense rehab? Of course not! But somehow the expectation for women after their pregnancy is to mysteriously “bounce back” to normal activity, appearance, and function without any guidance. Most mamas even attempt to do this while caring for one or more very adorable, yet extremely needy human beings.

Wow!!  Just writing that paragraph made me feel anxious!  Thankfully our society is beginning to recognize the fact that child-rearing is hard work and calling in reinforcements is acceptable and often necessary.  Thank you doulas, lactation consultants, counselors, chiropractors and more for all that you do!  I would like to propose that a Women’s Health Physical Therapist should ALSO be part of your postpartum team.

Women’s Health Physical Therapists specialize in the changes that occur within your musculoskeletal system (muscles and bones) during and after pregnancy.  They often have additional training in pelvic health which means they have specialized skills in how to assess the pelvic floor’s function from an external as well as an internal perspective.

Let me tell you a story about how one woman’s body changed after having her first baby; let’s call this woman Susie. In the delivery room, Susie’s baby made its way through the birth canal so quickly that Susie’s perineum had very little time to stretch to make a clear path for her baby to exit.  Susie ended up with significant perineal trauma that required stitches to repair.  After the delivery, it was painful for Susie to walk around her hospital room and sitting proved to be very uncomfortable as well.  She faithfully rested and used her ice packs for pain relief in hopes that with time she would feel better.  As time went on and she saw other new moms grocery shopping, going for walks, and starting to exercise again, Susie started to become worried that she was falling behind in her postpartum recovery!  Not only was she still having pelvic pain that got worse with activity, she was now having rectal pain that filled her with dread each time she felt the urge to have a bowel movement.  Susie was given the go ahead to return to sexual intercourse and begin exercising again at her 6 week follow-up appointment with her OBGYN, but she knew there was no way she could tolerate these activities without experiencing a lot of pain.  Susie had proactively participated in Physical Therapy before delivering her baby, so she bravely asked for another referral.

Although a woman’s body is going to be forever changed after participating in the miracle of creating life, mamas shouldn’t feel like they’re left with a body that is broken.  Physical Therapists want to give you tools and strategies that keep you strong so you can participate in activities that make you healthy and happy inside and out!  We want you to lift and chase after your little ones, return to intimacy in an enjoyable way with your partner, and be able to participate in activities like barre classes, 5ks, and nature hikes. Sometimes it is a common misconception that women “pee when they sneeze” BECAUSE they had a baby, it’s “normal for sex to hurt” BECAUSE they had a baby, or “vaginal heaviness” occurs BECAUSE they had a baby.  While it’s true that these things commonly HAPPEN after we’ve had babies, they aren’t normal or inevitable after having children, and it will likely require more than just lots and lots of kegels to solve these problems.

Let’s check in with Susie again to see how things turned out after going to several Physical Therapy appointments. Susie learned that her pelvic floor and surrounding muscles were very tight (kegels were NOT recommended) and that she needed to learn how to combine breathing, stretching, and relaxing positions to maintain a relaxed and healthy pelvic floor.  Her Physical Therapist performed manual techniques to break up scar tissue from her episiotomy which improved the elasticity of her perineum. They even taught her how to work on these things at home on her own between sessions.  With hard work and guidance from her Physical Therapist, she was able to enjoy sex with her husband again, have bowel movements with less pain, and exercise with confidence because she had learned safe ways to move her body.

Physical Therapy for mamas can be done during your hospitalization, at an outpatient clinic, or even in your own home! And while there are lots of therapists just waiting for mamas to walk through their doors, it isn’t standard for Physical Therapists to be included in postpartum care in the United States.  Good news though, they are accessible and sometimes even covered by insurance when you seek them out. You’ll know you’ve found an exceptional Physical Therapist when they ask about your specific goals, give you tasks to complete at home between sessions, and you notice progress after each session.

Knowledge is power, and I hope that this information empowers you to feel comfortable talking to your providers about Physical Therapy or seeking it out on your own.  Mamas do incredible things and they deserve to have the resources they need to live their best life.

Newly postpartum and ready to get started? Download this FREE handout to start your postpartum recovery journey today (even useful for mamas still in the hospital!)

If you’re ever looking for free information from the perspective of a mama and Physical Therapist, I put out videos weekly on my YouTube channel. I also offer 1 on 1 Physical Therapy Evaluation and Treatment sessions for moms living in West Michigan and offer an Online Postpartum Recovery Course for moms that don’t have the time or resources to get out to appointments.

Investing in your health is one of the best investments you can make. Become a STRONG mama so you can grow a STRONG family!

Dr. Nicole Bringer, DPT
Owner of Mamas & Misses, LLC
Email: nicole@mamasandmisses.com
Phone: (616) 466-4889

 

Postpartum Recovery Read More »

Birth Photography: Podcast Episode #92

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Birth, Pregnancy / / , , , , , ,

Photographers Kris and Autumn of The People Picture Company answer questions about birth photography, what a photographer actually does in the delivery room and how the process works for hiring a photographer and talking about birth plans.  You can listen to this complete podcast on iTunes or SoundCloud.

Alyssa:  Welcome to the Ask the Doulas podcast.  I am Alyssa Veneklase.

Kristin:  And I’m Kristin Revere.

Alyssa:  We are co-owners of Gold Coast, and we are here today with Autumn and Kris from The People Picture Company.  We wanted to bring you in because you do a lot of birth photography and a lot of our clients use you, but I know a lot of people are cautious or maybe don’t understand quite what the role of a photographer is in the delivery room, and I think it might be weird for people to say, you know, there’s going to be this stranger with a camera photographing my private parts.  Like, I don’t know this person!  Can you ease people’s fears and maybe tell us what the whole process looks like?

Kris:  Of course!  It all starts with a prenatal consult.  So this is where we get together and discuss your birth plan and what you want your birthing experience to look like.  This helps give us an idea; like, okay, are you doing a hospital birth or a home birth or a birthing center?  All of these things kind of factor into it.  We exchange phone numbers and all the information there, too, and then pick packages.  But it’s really a time for us to get together and to get to know each other because it is a very personal, private, intimate experience, and we’re going to be there with you, so we want to be able to know you and have you be comfortable with us.

Kristin:  It’s almost like when you do weddings and you have a shot list.  In your prenatal, I’m sure you go over, okay, this is what’s acceptable, and this is what I don’t want.

Kris:  Exactly.  We also go through and we show off some of the other births that we’ve done that the mothers have completely agreed that it is okay for us to show.  We have a couple of photos on our website, if you go into Maternity and Birth.  But when we go into a consult, you get to see a little bit more in depth.  These are ones that are, like, you know, actually during the birth experience.  So sometimes there’s nudity because you might get really hot when you’re giving birth to your child.  Sometimes people want that crowning photo.  I’m not going to put that online, but if you want to see what that looks like or a photo of your placenta where your baby lived for a while, then I can show you those during the consult so you get more of an idea and a feel of what you can expect from your birth photos.

Alyssa:  So it’s kind of like, if I were to say I want birth photos, but I don’t want any shots of boobs; I don’t want any shots of vaginas; I don’t want a butt.  Then you would know that going in, saying, okay, we need to crop this out or I’m not going to…

Kris:  Not going to photograph it.  If you want the photos of your child coming into this world but you don’t want that crowning photo, I don’t have to be right where the doctors are.  We can be right up by your shoulder.  In fact, that’s how it was with my photos.  I don’t have any crowning photos of my son coming out, but I have some great photos from over my shoulder, and you can see him just emerging into the world.  It’s so magical because you can ever see everyone that’s in the room and my husband and my doctors and everyone, and it’s just so magical.  Especially because most of that, I had my eyes shut, and one of my friends was, like, no, open your eyes.  Open your eyes!  You have to see this moment!

Autumn:  I think a part of it, too, is during the consult, you are getting comfortable with each other, and there’s a moment where you kind of think past the nudity, you know?  We’re basically capturing the emotional experience between you, your baby, your family.  That is something that is bigger than the nudity sometimes.

Alyssa:  Right!

Kristin:  And I love that you’ve also supported surgical births and shown the beauty of that as they’re getting prepped to go into the operating room and so on.  Some of those pictures are amazing.

Kris:  Yeah!  With the Cesarean births, we’re not allowed in the operating room for those, but we are allowed in the prepping areas and as you’re walking down the hallway or being wheeled into the operating room, we can do all of that and we can do the couple of hours after the birth, as well.  It’s just that for those we’re not actively allowed in those rooms for the surgical process.

Kristin:  I’ve loved attending births with The People Picture Company because you really do capture the emotions of the couple and the intimate experience that they have, as well as, obviously, meeting their new baby or babies for the first time and really, you have a way.  That’s why we have you photograph our team and a lot of the events we do.  You really capture that moment so perfectly and the beauty of birth, the raw and realness of all of it.

Autumn:  And no birth is the same, no two births.

Kris:  No.  But they’re all emotional.  I cry at every one.

Kristin:  For sure.  They are.  It’s an honor to be in someone’s birth space.  I don’t take that lightly as a doula.

Alyssa:  So you’re essentially on call; that’s why you exchange numbers.  So how does that work from your client’s end?  You exchange phone numbers, and then when the due date approaches, you just kind of — they know that your phone’s going to be on next to the bed all night?

Kris:  Yep.  My phone is on next to my bed all night.  It is turned up as loud as it possibly can be, and in case I’m asleep, my husband is a very light sleeper, so if he hears it, he’s definitely going to be waking me up.

Autumn:  You’re pretty amazing.  You wake up, and you’re there, and it’s magical.

Kris:  It’s so funny because almost all the births that I’ve been on have been in the middle of the night where we’re getting a call.  Hey, we’re starting to have some contractions.  Okay, great.  Keep us informed.  Let us know when your water breaks, and we’ll be there, wherever you’re going to be having your birth.  We’re very flexible, so if you were originally going to be doing a home birth and then something is weird and you need to go to the hospital, then just have someone let us know.  It doesn’t matter who it is.  Just put our number in your birth plan, and we’ll be there.

Alyssa:  That’s what a doula’s good for.  We can call you and let you know.  By the way, we’re headed to the hospital.

Autumn:  And the greatest part is we have a whole team, so during that time when Kris is on call and she needs to be ready whenever, anything that she has going on, we’re there to kind of help take care of that so we free up her time to be available to be at the birth no matter what.

Kris:  Yeah.  I block off your due date for sure.  That entire day is completely reserved.  I won’t schedule anything.  And then for a week or so before and a week or so after, because babies come when they want to come, I have those listed as on-call, which means that if someone else needs to take one of my other sessions that I have prebooked because you’re going into labor at that point, then they have that.  I have a bag packed and with me wherever I am, so I am ready to go and meet you as soon as I get the call.

Kristin:  Sounds just like what I do as a birth doula!  And most of my calls are in the middle of the night unless it’s a planned birth.  Or early morning; I sometimes will get a call.  They’ve been laboring at home in early labor, and then they want my support early in the morning.

Kris:  Babies just love coming at night.

Autumn:  They do!

Kris:  My son came right after midnight, and our birth photographer, Bree — she’s one of our team.  She actually doesn’t shoot anymore, but she picked up a camera for me.  I think I was her last session that she did.  And she came — she was so sweet.  She came at — oh, gosh.  I don’t even know what time.  She came pretty early.  Probably about 7:00, I think, is when my water broke and everything, and she was there until about 1:00 in the morning when I finally kicked her out.  You need to go home; you need to go to sleep.  We got our photos; we’re great.  We got our few things that we wanted afterwards.  Go home and sleep.  But that also leads me to the photos of after the birth, like how long we get to stay for that.  That’s actually a really good segue there that I hadn’t planned.

Kristin:  And I know some clients can hire you just for that first hour or that time of bonding and not the actual labor if their preference is to not be photographed during the birth itself.

Kris:  Definitely.  It’s still all the same thing.  We’re still on call and everything, and the way our packages work, we have two different ones.  They both include up to two hours of post-birthing, and that covers the first moments of your child’s life.  So if you want us in there for the birth, then that can include the cord cutting and such.  If you want us there for the first little bit afterwards, it can include the first time you’re nursing your child if that’s what you end up doing.  If you’re doing skin to skin contact; the weight, height, and head measurements, the footprints, and the first family photo of you all together in that blissful moment.  And then also if you have any family members that are coming to meet the newest addition, so if you have an older child that’s coming to meet the younger sibling for the first time, or you have some grandparents that are being grandparents for the very first time, we can be there for that, too.

Alyssa:  How does it work — let’s say a client gets induced and says, hey, I’m going to the hospital, but then it ends up taking two days.  How do you — or have you had a client like that where you’re there for a really, really long time?

Kris:  We’ve had one where we’ve been there for —

Autumn:  We’ve had to do switch shifts.

Kris:  Yeah.  I’ve done some switch shifts before where we kind of tag out.  Okay, I’ve been here for, like, 12, 13 hours.  I need a momentary break.  I need a little cat nap, but we don’t want you to have to worry about us missing it.  So then we just kind of tag out with one of our other team members, and then we swap for a little bit.

Alyssa:  So there’s no price difference?

Kris:  No.

Alyssa:  It’s just whatever birth you have, whether it’s two hours or two days?

Kris:  Yep.  Your kid comes in the time when your kid wants to come, and we’ve got to be flexible with that.

Kristin:  Right.  And even with inductions, there can be some sweet moments where they’re on the birthing ball or moving around the room, and you can capture – again, if it is a couple, you can couple the intimacy with the couple, or if there’s a doula supporting…

Autumn:  Well, the greatest part is it’s not just one single moment with the birth.  It’s the entire process, and being able to capture that for basically the entire family is so special because we literally see the moments before, where they’re on the ball and they’re trying to get them out, and then they —

Kris:  It’s the whole story.

Autumn:  It literally is the story.

Kris:  And going back to personal experience, I was induced for my son because he was a week late and didn’t want to come.  And there are times, because it was a long, emotional, hard birth, that don’t necessarily remember.  But because I had my photographer there and I made a book later on, I’m able to remember and to kind of — not necessarily relive, because I don’t remember the pain, thank God, but I do remember the joy, and I remember thinking – like, for me the birthing ball was bad, and all I can remember was saying, “Ball bad!  Ball bad!”  But I remember that because I have the photo of me with that ball and then the ball completely on the other side of the room because I didn’t even want to see it.

Kristin:  Listening to your body is key!  That’s what I say.  That’s part of it!

Alyssa:  So once you get into the labor and delivery room, what does that look like?  Are you kind of like a fly on the wall trying to stay out of — like, you don’t want them to even know you’re there, or are you talking to them and —

Kris:  It kind of depends on the couple or on the mom and what they want, and this is why we do the prenatal consult.  We usually try to help out if we can, like either be a gopher — like, so if mom is really sweating but doesn’t want her partner to leave and needs a wet washcloth or something, then we will do that.  If you need some ice chips or something, we can go and do that for you so that your people don’t have to leave, although of course if you have doulas, then they usually end up helping out that way, too.  So we help out where we can, but otherwise, it’s usually very intimate, and the couple is pretty much in their own world.  We just kind of capture that and stay out of the doctors’ way.  After you have your baby, we know that you’re really excited to show the photos of your new little baby to friends and family and all your loved ones, and so instead of sending cell phone photos that can look a little weird, we do sneak peeks so we’ll provide you with a handful of photos that are completely ready to send out to friends and family.

Alyssa:  Like the next day?

Kris:  Within 24 hours.  Usually less than; it’s usually one of the first things that we do when we leave the birthing room.

Autumn:  She gets really excited.  She gets back to the studio, and she’s, like, “I’m doing this!  I’m really excited!”

Alyssa:  You always do.  Every team photo, you’re, like, okay, give me a couple weeks.  And then two days later, you’re like, “They’re ready!  I was just too excited.  I had to go through them.”

Autumn:  Well, I mean, it’s our work, and we get so excited about it, and we can’t wait to show it off because what is the point of just sitting on it when we can share it with everyone?

Alyssa:  In my past life, I was a photographer, and it was the same thing.  While it’s fresh in my head, I wanted to go through them.  It’s exciting to see what you just created.  So I get it.

Kris:  You’ll get a handful of photos the same day, usually within a few hours, so you can send them out.  And then the final photos, we say two weeks, but it’s usually sooner.

Kristin:  And certainly, I feel like birth is a major rite of passage, and as wedding photographers, you understand how much time, money, and preparation is involved in planning for that rite of passage, but really, when you look at minor investments in the birth and postpartum time for a family, hiring a birth photographer or doing newborn shots doesn’t even compare to the investment in a wedding photographer, for example.

Kris:  Oh, yeah, no.  It’s a fraction.

Kristin:  Can you explain a bit about what your fees are so people who aren’t familiar with birth photographers — as you talk about being on call and longer lengths and so on?

We have a couple different packages when it comes to the birth, and they each include high-resolution images for you to share, to do whatever you want with.  And then you also get an album to create for our highest package, which is a 20-page lay-flat album.

Kristin:  You’re saying a digital album?

Autumn:  No, a photo album.  So you get digital files, high-resolution, and then our highest package, you get a 20-page album to share and have it on your table so you can show it off.  And plus like Kris said, you get to relive the moments because sometimes you just don’t remember, and having that printed album is so important because you can’t have all of your images live on digital because you don’t know how long they’re going to last.  We always want everybody to print things.

Kris:  Which is why we provide you with the high-resolution images, too, because those are good quality for printing.  So you’re welcome to print them yourself or you can print with us.  We have a la carte print packages, too.  So the first package, like Autumn was saying, it’s $850.  It includes everything: the prenatal consult, the on-call availability, the two hours after birth, and then 100 or more, however many, high-resolution images, and a 20-page 5×5 print photo album.  And then our second package, which is our base package, is $500, and that includes 30 to 50 high-resolution images, so that’s if you need just a little bit; just a little reminder, not the whole big coverage of everything.  And then because we want to see you guys again and provide you with a really good first family photo that’s not right after birth, we include 10% off your newborn session if you get either of these two packages because, yeah, your first family photo — yeah, it’s great to have one in the hospital, but let’s get one where your hair and makeup are actually done, too.

Kristin:  And I know you do documentary-style or more of the posed family shots, depending on preference and price and so on?

Autumn:  Absolutely.  We actually prefer doing newborn sessions in the home because it’s where you’re going to be the most comfortable, and then you also don’t have to worry about packing up the family and moving them to our studio, which can be a hassle sometimes.  Our goal is to make everything hassle-free, so we come to you, and we can document your entire family as you are, and we can also get some posed shots that would be printed and put on the wall.  The documentary style also work well if you do an album.  Plus, it’s more realistic.  It’s you in your zone.  It’s where your family is.  And if you have other kids, it’s also really fun to see how they interact with the baby, also.

Kris:  Some of the documentary ones that we’ve done are within your nursery, so if you’re changing your baby on the table or nursing them in a rocking chair or something like that and then you get a photo of the entire nursery in this environmental setting, too.

Kristin:  It’s nice.  You did that with a twin client of ours.

Kris:  Yeah.   They were so sweet.  They were adorable, and we had grandma in there, too.

Alyssa:  So if anyone is interested in birth photos or family photos or baby photos —

Kristin:  Or maternity photos.

Alyssa:  Yeah, maternity photos — what’s the best way for them to reach out?

Kris:  Probably our website would be the best.  We have all our packages listed on there.

Kristin:  And you also have a page on the Gold Coast Doulas website.

Kris:  We do, so you can just go to the Gold Coast Doulas website and go into Birth Photography and find us that way, too.  And then we have all of our packages listed and a handful of images to show you, just kind of a portfolio of examples to see if we’re your flavor of photographer or not.

Autumn:  And the best way to find out is just reaching out and setting up a consult to get to know us, really.

Kris:  Yeah.  You can do that straight from the website.  We have contact boxes.  You can email us.

Alyssa:  And probably depending on the time of year, as long as it’s not wedding season, you could do it last minute.  Like, hey, I’m 38 weeks and I just decided I want a photographer.

Autumn:  Oh, absolutely.

Alyssa:  As long as you’re not in the throes of wedding season, you might be able to say yes?

Kris:  You know, as long as you’re not a Friday or Saturday, chances are really high.

Alyssa:  Cool.  Well, thanks for joining us.  Is there anything else that we didn’t cover?

Autumn:   I did want to point out that another thing after birth – one of our favorite things to do is follow you through the first year.  What we have is a package that basically is dedicated to capturing your baby at several stages in the first year.  So then you can do the three, six, nine months and then the one year, so you can also print that out and get it on the wall to see how much they’ve grown.,

Kris:  They change so much in that first year.

Autumn:  They really, really do.  It’s amazing.  They go from literally —

Kris:  Tiny squishes to little humans.

Autumn:   Yeah.  It’s amazing.  And it’s really fun for us, especially somebody like Kris who’s there during the birth, probably the maternity session, and after with the newborn, and then we get to follow you through and literally watch your family grow.  It is so much fun.

Kris:  It’s awesome watching them grow.

Autumn:  Yeah.  Because our goal is to become lifelong friends, not just the photographer one day.

Kris:  Yeah.  We want to get to know you and become friends and tell your story.

Kristin:  I love that.

Alyssa:  That’s cool.  Thanks!

 

Birth Photography: Podcast Episode #92 Read More »

Birth story

When Your Baby Doesn’t Follow Your Birth Plan

Birth, Parenting, Pregnancy / / , , , , ,

Have you ever set out to accomplish something life-changing? How did you prepare for it? Did you research it online? Did you read a how-to book? Did you seek advice from those you trust? Would you ever show up for the big day without preparing ahead of time?

Back in November of 2017, I finally saw those two blue lines on a pregnancy test.  I was unbelievably excited, but yet filled with fear and anxiety. After over a year of trying to conceive and a devastating miscarriage, my husband and I were blessed with the opportunity to try it again.  For anyone that has experienced a miscarriage you know that each cramp, test, and Dr. appointment is filled with intense emotion and fear.

The fear and anxiety wasn’t completely gone after our 12 week ultrasound, but it definitely became a background noise that I could drown out with our baby registry, nursery decorations, and my efforts to create the perfect environment for my baby for the remainder of the pregnancy.

During my first trimester, I was gifted The Mama Natural Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth by Genevieve Howland (highly recommended by the way, even if you’re not a super crunchy mama) by my sister who unknowingly would become the trail blazer that would go before me by about 12 weeks and share all her child rearing wisdom with me.  This was new for me as an OLDER sister, but her recommendations and personal experience were pivotal in creating an empowering childbirth experience for me.

Fast forward to the third trimester where it really started to sink in that I was going to birth this tiny human inside me.  This is the part of the story where I realized I was going to experience something life-changing that I knew very little about.  After reading the best books, talking with seasoned mamas and investing in a bomb childbirth course (Mama Natural’s once again!), I decided that my ideal birth plan was to have a vaginal delivery with as few medical interventions as possible.  I did the research to get the facts and my husband was very supportive (but also a rookie) so I wanted some reinforcement to help me achieve my dream birth story. This is the part where my very wise sister recommended talking with Gold Coast Doulas about how they could help me reach my goals.  She had just accomplished a successful, low intervention vaginal delivery so it didn’t take much convincing for me to call and get matched up with doulas that were a good fit for my birth goals.

At 41 weeks and 3 days, it became apparent that my son had not read my birth plan and despite my best efforts was coming out on his own terms.  In the midst of my research, I learned that induction could be intense, unpleasant, and ruin my plans for an unmedicated birth; unfortunately, my OBGYN had decided this was the best option for me. My husband and I walked into the hospital like a couple headed to Baby-Mart to pick-up our baby.  I had not experienced one real contraction to this point, was dilated to 1cm (I still think this was a pity centimeter) and I had shed many tears as I realized how little control I actually had over this birth experience.  I prayed God would help me surrender to His will for this birth.

As if this was the moment my son had been waiting for all along, I felt my first real contraction minutes after being hooked up to the fetal heart monitor before beginning the induction process.  I finally stopped feeling sorry for myself about my “ruined” birth plan and regained my confidence knowing this was MY birth plan and no matter how it ended, it was the perfect plan for me!

Contractions continued to come, and they recommended that I receive a dose of Cytotec to soften my cervix. Thankfully labor continued to progress on its own without any further doses of cytotec or pitocin.  Several hours after contractions started, I peed the bed… or so I thought. After 2 trips to the bathroom and continued “leaking” I realized my water had broken. My cervix continued to dilate and my husband was now recruited to help me through my increasingly more intense contractions.  My nurse was amazing and encouraged me to change positions by kneeling and leaning forward on the bed and rolling from side to side with a peanut ball between my legs to encourage continued progression of my labor. It’s funny because I knew this movement was important, but in that moment, all I could think about was how it made my contractions hurt worse and that I didn’t want to move at all. Turns out that’s the point! You want to intensify contractions, progress labor, and get that baby in your arms!

As the hours progressed my husband continued to ask if we should ask Mary, our doula, to join us (she’d been checking in with him periodically) and I continued to say no. I guess I had heard too many stories about long labors because I was convinced we still had a long way to go.  When my attentive husband noticed the signs of transition he quietly vetoed my decision and let Mary, along with family, know that we were getting close and it was time to come to the hospital. When Mary arrived they were wheeling in delivery equipment and it was go-time. She reminded me of the breathing techniques I had practiced and was available to help with whatever comfort measures we needed even when it was silence.

There was no mistaking when it was time to push as my fetal ejection reflex kicked in.  I was thankful that my provider let me stay in a side-lying position to push while my husband and Mary held legs and hands (focusing on my needs) allowing the doctors to focus on our son. My husband excitedly updated me that they could see his head, but he just didn’t seem to want to move past that point. Despite my best pushing efforts for about 40 minutes, our baby’s heart rate was dropping, and I was now needing oxygen. At this point, my OBGYN highly recommended an episiotomy to deliver my son quickly. This was not part of my birth plan, but I agreed knowing everyone’s goal was to deliver a healthy baby. As his head emerged and the OBGYN quickly freed him from the umbilical cord around his neck, he launched himself earth-side and to this day has not stopped moving and wiggling.

It’s crazy to think that at 8 pm on Sunday night we walked into the hospital with a space in our hearts we had no idea even existed and by 8:30 am on Monday morning our hearts were overflowing with love and connection with someone we had only just met.  Childbirth was unknown, exciting, and challenging.  The experience was so very empowering and the outcome was undeniably life-changing. My piece of advice for expecting moms is to go into labor and delivery prepared, supported and believing in yourself knowing that your body was made to do this!

Written by Dr. Nicole Bringer, DPT
Owner of Mamas & Misses Physical Therapy
www.mamasandmisses.com 

 

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Jamie doula

Meet our new postpartum doula, Jamie!

Doulas, Postpartum / / , , , , , ,

We are excited to have Jamie join our team. As a yoga instructor, she brings a sense of calm and balance to a room that immediately sets you at ease. Let’s learn more about her!

What did you do before you became a doula?
I spent a glorious taco-and-sun infused 6-years in Austin, Texas, doing communications for the mother’s milk bank, traveling, and writing historical fiction for a start-up fashion brand, and later hustling as a project manager at a digital strategy agency. Now back in the mitten, I teach hot yoga at Yoga Fever and work part-time as the storytelling coordinator at Treetops Collective, a non-profit that supports New American women.

What inspired you to become a doula?
I’m passionate about supporting and advocating for women. I’ve babysat since I was “old enough” (which was 12 because it was the 90s…) and have always been fascinated with pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. So becoming a doula made perfect sense––empowering new moms in this amazing new stage of life. I want new parents to be confident in their innate skills as the perfect parent for their child—resisting the temptation to compare themselves to others, and ignoring the overwhelming opinions and conflicting messages that barrage them daily.

Tell us about your family.
My husband Chris and I met in Chicago 8 years ago and when he got accepted to grad school in Texas, I crazily agreed to move with him after only dating 6 months. We’ve been married for 4 years now, so it turns out maybe I wasn’t that crazy. We moved back to Michigan last year and bought a home in the South East End of GR and are eagerly expecting our first baby this summer. Until then, our two big dogs and 6-toed cat continue to keep us vacuuming.

What is your favorite vacation spot and why? 
The best vacation I’ve ever been on was to Peru this past spring. We got the city and coastal experience in Lima and the historic, mountain setting in Cusco, and topped it off with a bucket-list hike of the Incan Trail to Machu Picchu. The culture, landscape, people, food, and history of the country was beyond incredible––10 out 10 would recommend this trip.

Name your top five bands/musicians and tell us what you love about them.
Whew, impossible to choose! How about 5 albums I’ll never get tired of?
Lucius, Good Grief
Solange, A Seat at the Table
Prince, Purple Rain
Paul Simon, Graceland
Fleetwood Mac, Rumours

What is the best advice you have given to new families?
You are so strong. You are capable of so much more than you think you are. One day at a time.

What do you consider your doula superpower to be?
As a project manager at heart, I’m all about strategizing to meet goals. I love to help parents develop a plan for meeting their parenting goals––be it with developing a schedule, breastfeeding, sleep shaping, whatever.

My doula superpower kicks in when things get tough and sticking to the plan is overwhelming. I’m there as a calm and reassuring presence––even in the face of endless crying and sleep depravation—to support and encourage parents to keep at it and work towards success. It’s rewarding to watch these parenting wins—when they are reminded of just how capable they are.

What is your favorite food?
I love Indian food. Lately I can’t stop requesting my husband make us butter chicken in the InstaPot—with lots of garlic naan on the side (you’re going to want this recipe—just ask me for it).

What is your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast?
I love the beaches of Lake Michigan––during my time in Texas, I really missed my Great Lakes. Growing up, our family spent many summer weekends camping in South Haven—going to the beach and eating huge waffle cones at Sherman’s Ice-cream so that gets my vote for nostalgia.

What are you reading now?
This book has been on my reading list since I had the opportunity to meet the author, Jessica Shortall, during my time at the Mothers’ Milk Bank at Austin, and I’m finally diving in: Work. Pump. Repeat: The New Mom’s Survival Guide to Breastfeeding and Going Back to Work.

And when I’m done with that, The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp is queued up on my nightstand.

Who are your role models?
I am inspired by strong women who support one another, follow their truth, and live their passion. My social media feed is full of amazing women who get me all fired up in the way they advocate for body positivity, social justice, equality, mental health—here are a few of my faves: Frida Kahlo, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Beyonce, Rupi Kaur, the fine ladies of the My Favorite Murder podcast, Karen Kilgarif and Georgia Hardstark, Ilana Glazer, Christiane Amanpour.

 

Meet our new postpartum doula, Jamie! Read More »

pregnancy physical therapy

Physical Therapy During Pregnancy

Birth, Pregnancy, Self-Care / / , , , ,

Maternity clothes✓ Registry✓ Hospital tour✓ Doula✓ Photographer✓

What could you possibly be forgetting? What about getting YOURSELF prepared?

Likely from the moment you found out you were pregnant you have been focused on the tiny human growing inside of you. While prenatal vitamins, nursery preparations, and choosing the perfect name are all very important parts of preparing for the birth of your baby, so is preparing YOUR body to birth this baby!

Hopefully in the midst of your nesting you have decided to create a birth plan.  As you consider what positions you want to labor and deliver in and what interventions you feel comfortable with during your birth experience, I would challenge you to consider what you are doing to achieve those goals.  Hiring a doula and recruiting a rockstar support person is a great place to start, BUT there is more!

Research has shown that the percentage of first time moms that experience perineal tearing during delivery is somewhere between 80-90%. Research also shows that 66% of women that deliver their babies in sidelying have NO perineal trauma and 61% of women that deliver on hands and knees have the same TRAUMA-FREE experience.  (Simarro 2017, Walker 2012, Soong 2005, Shorten 2002) Instead of crossing your fingers and hoping for the best when it comes to your perineum, what would it look like to practice different delivery positions with your partner BEFORE you go into labor? What about the evidence that says perineal massage 1-2x per week starting at week 35 can DECREASE your risk for tearing and episiotomies? Have you been taught how to perform this technique and are you taking the time to do it? (Seehusen & Raleigh, 2014) With my first son, I totally missed the boat on perineal massage. I ended up with a nasty episiotomy. You better believe I’ll be making perineal massage a priority this time around!

Our bodies become a temporary home for our babies during pregnancy. Our mama bear instincts have already kicked in, and we want to make sure we are creating a healthy and happy environment for our babies to grow within. Exercise and intentional movement is a great way to foster this type of environment for our little ones. Did you know that exercise helps prevent or manage gestational diabetes, high blood pressure and preeclampsia? Exercise also helps us sleep better,  reduce our stress levels, and minimize back pain.  If your pregnancy is non-complicated and you do not have activity restrictions, you should be exercising! The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommend exercising at a moderate intensity 3-5x per week. Sometimes we become paralyzed when we’re not sure where to start and what’s safe.  Trainers, instructors, and Physical Therapists with certifications and experience working with women during pregnancy are great resources for mamas hoping to create safe exercise habits.

Let’s not forget about investing in our pregnant bodies to make life easier for ourselves in the postpartum.  During your pregnancy your belly is doubling or even tripling in size.  As we gain 25+ pounds, we expect our pelvic floor to step up to the challenge and make sure we don’t pee our pants when we sneeze at the grocery store. There are two studies that give us good reason to keep our pelvic floors strong during pregnancy.  The research found that women experienced less urinary incontinence at 35 weeks gestation, 6 weeks postpartum and 6 months postpartum when they did pelvic floor exercises DURING their pregnancy compared to women that DID NOT do pelvic floor exercises. (Boyle et al., 2012, Price et al., 2010) Sidenote: sometimes the phrase “pelvic floor exercises” is confusing. Does that mean kegels? Yes and no. Clear as mud I know! Kegels are pelvic floor exercise where we lift and squeeze our pelvic floor muscles, but it’s also important for our pelvic floors to have the ability to relax and lengthen. Sometimes women experience pelvic pain and incontinence because of overactive pelvic floors (need help relaxing) and sometimes it’s because they have underactive pelvic floors (need more strengthening). Even if you have excellent pelvic floor strength and no concerns about incontinence, it’s still helpful to create a mind-body connection with your pelvic floor.  During labor and delivery the goal is to relax and open your pelvic floor while pushing so that your pelvic floor remains healthy even after childbirth. Bonus points if you practice your breathing and pelvic floor relaxation while pregnant in the positions you hope to deliver your baby in.

I’ve been a mom in your shoes, running around with my To-Do list trying to check off all the boxes before my baby arrived.  As you prioritize your list and consider your baby budget, remember that your body IS this baby’s home.  The way that you prepare your body WILL make a difference on the day that your baby decides to make its grand entrance.  Exercise, pelvic floor awareness, perineal massage, and labor positions are all important pieces of the pregnancy puzzle.  It’s tempting to become intimidated or overwhelmed at this point because you’re just not sure where to start.  Start by consulting a Women’s Health Physical Therapist.  Now that you know what your goals are, you have some great questions to ask them!  Physical Therapists should be another member of your prenatal team, and we want to help you make your planned Birth Story a reality.

My practice is Mamas & Misses, LLC and we offer In-Home Physical Therapy sessions for women local to West Michigan as well as phone or video consults for those who live further away.  One of our missions is to provide knowledge to mamas that will empower you during your pregnancy and postpartum experience; therefore, we have lots of FREE info on our YouTube channel as well as our Instagram account @mamasandmisses_pt.  

Dr. Nicole Bringer, DPT
Owner of Mamas & Misses LLC
Email: nicole@mamasandmisses.com
Phone: (616) 466-4889

 

References

Boyle, R., Hay‐Smith, E. J., Cody, J. D., & Mørkved, S. (2012). Pelvic floor muscle training for prevention and treatment of urinary and faecal incontinence in antenatal and postnatal women. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, 10, CD007471. doi: 10.1002/14651858.CD007471.pub2

Price, N., Dawood, R., & Jackson, S. R. (2010). Pelvic floor exercise for urinary incontinence: A systematic literature review. Maturitas, 67(4), 309-315. doi: 10.1016/j.maturitas.2010.08.004

Seehusen, D. A., & Raleigh, M. (2014). Antenatal perineal massage to prevent birth trauma. American Family Physician, 89(5), 335-336.

Shorten A, Donsante J, Shorten B. Birth Position, Accoucher, and Perineal Outcomes: Informing Women about Choices for Vaginal Birth. Birth. 2002;29(1):18-27.

Simarro M, Espinosa JA, Salinas C, Ricardo O, Salavadores P, Walker C, Schneider J. A prospective randomized trial of postural changes vs passive supine lying during the second stage of labor under epidural anesthesia. Med. Sci. 2017, 5, 5. doi:10.3390/medsci5010005

Soong B, Barnes M. Maternal position at midwife-attended birth and perineal trauma: is there an association? Birth. 2005;32(3):164-169.

Walker, C., Rodríguez, T., Herranz, A. et al. Int Urogynecol J (2012) 23: 1249. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00192-012-1675-5

 

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Kelly Wysocki-Emery

Meet our new IBCLC, Kelly Wysocki-Emery!

Breastfeeding, Doulas / / , , , , , , , , , ,

We are thrilled to have Kelly join the Gold Coast Team. Many of our doulas have used Kelly personally for lactation consultations with their own children. She comes to us with years of experience and a trusted name in the community.

1) What did you do before you became a lactation consultant?

In a former life, I was on a path to become a counseling psychologist. I was working on grad school in Oklahoma when I had my first baby; my life course then changed dramatically. My undergraduate degrees were in psychology and education, which serendipitously helped in my final career choice as a lactation consultant.

2) What inspired you to become a doula/lactation consultant?

I think it’s so true that we become what we wish we had. I was certified as a doula in the early 90s after having a difficult postpartum period with my first baby. I lived many states away from my family and friends, and felt the isolation and loneliness hard. I also had a rough time breastfeeding. As I crawled out the other side, I decided to help other women who were going through the same experiences I had been through. In the end, I gave up the doula role, went back to nursing school, and continued earning experience and education to become a lactation consultant.

3) Tell us about your family.

I have two adult children, girl and boy (or a woman and a man, now!), and four step-children; so six “kids” in our blended family. Although the kids are spread out over the country, we still get together throughout the year to enjoy each other’s company. My husband is an emergency medicine physician, who also works in medical education at Michigan State University. I am expecting my first grandchild in July of 2020, and am so VERY excited about that!

4) What is your favorite vacation spot and why?

Anywhere I can be warm and near water, and not have to wear shoes or a coat! I’d have to say Greece, if I had to be more specific. I went to Greece to help pregnant/breastfeeding refugee women in 2017, and fell in love with the place so much that two years later I returned for a vacation there with my girlfriends. I definitely will be going back with my husband in the upcoming years. The climate AND the history/culture/people/food of Greece have won over my heart forever.

5) Name your top five bands/musicians and tell us what you love about them.

Patty Griffin – She sings the raw truth with her beautiful voice. Got me through my divorce intact.

Beatles – I discovered them in early college and connected immediately.

Eagles – A band from my childhood with so many songs that spark memories for me.

Eminem – Don’t ask me why. I just do. Don’t judge me.

Aerosmith – I have a secret thing for Steven Tyler. Again, don’t ask why. I just do.

6) What is the best advice you have given to new families?

Your baby is going to love you no matter what. Remember the big picture: Lead with love. You are not alone in what you are experiencing, and it can, and does, get better in time. Hang in there!

Oh, and you’re doing much better than you think you are!

7) What do you consider your lactation superpower to be?

I’m pretty good at getting babies off nipple shields. Not every single time, but often I can do it!

8) What is your favorite food?

Lately, I am really enjoying miso soup and sushi at Ando.

9) What is your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast? 

I’ve moved downtown and live by the Grand River now, so my husband and I really love walking or biking up and down the river, exploring the landscape, watching the fish and birds (the Osprey are our favorite), and seeing the city grow and change each and every year. We can really stare at the water all day and be content.

10) What are you reading now?

Just finished up Tongue Tied by Richard Baxter. Very interesting new research and helpful modalities for babies who are having trouble latching/nursing.

11) Who are your role models?

My mother, who taught me about unconditional love, loyalty, how to work hard and do things that you are afraid to do, how to make people feel welcome, and how to have fun.

My husband for his incredible work ethic and ability to plan for the long-term; I continue to learn so much from him about how to have a healthy relationship with money.

 

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Perinatal Mood Disorders: Podcast Episode #91

Ask The Doulas Podcast / / , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Today we talk with Elsa, a therapist at Mindful Counseling in Grand Rapids, Michigan who specializes in perinatal mood disorders.  Learn what postpartum anxiety and depression look like, how they are different, and signs to look out for.  You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or SoundCloud.

Kristin:  Welcome to Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas.  I’m Kristin, and I’m here today with Elsa Lockman from Mindful Counseling.  She’s here to talk to us a bit about postpartum anxiety.  Elsa specializes in the following areas: perinatal mood disorders, which includes postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD, grief and loss, eating disorders, and body image issues.  She also works with clients dealing with relationship problems, coping with medical illness, trauma and abuse, women’s issues and self-esteem, and mood disorders and anxiety.  So obviously, you’re a natural fit working with clients who struggle with everything from eating disorders to anxiety and depression, transitions in their relationships, and expanding their family or having their first child.  So today, Elsa, let’s focus a bit on the difference between postpartum depression and anxiety and what women can do if they’re interested in seeking treatment and getting help.

Elsa:  Yes, postpartum depression and anxiety can go together.  Sometimes women will struggle with anxiety with depression.  Sometimes it is separate.  Postpartum anxiety and depression can look very different.  People classically think of postpartum depression as mothers who don’t connect with their babies, moms who are checked out and can’t get out of bed all day.  That’s actually not always the case.  Often, women with depression are exhausted and often can’t stop crying.  They can’t look, maybe, on the positive side or think rationally.  As far as the anxiety, it can come out more in not feeling necessarily down but feeling like you can’t relax; feeling that something bad is going to happen at any time.  Having thoughts of something happening to your baby; scary thoughts.  Sometimes even flashes of images of very violent things happening or the baby falling, and moms often feel guilty for those, actually, and don’t tell anybody, but they’re actually really important to talk about.

Kristin:  I had a friend who was afraid of driving in her car or anyone driving her baby.  There can be a lot of, like you said, those intrusive thoughts.

Elsa:  Yes, and it’s obsessive sometimes and you can’t get it out of your head.  So rationally, you can say, I’m not going to drop the baby going down the stairs.  I have the baby in my hands.  But it keeps going; it gets hooked, the idea or the image, and then they’ll struggle with almost a loop where it just can’t get out of your head.  Or anxiety can present sometimes in something around sickness.  No germs.  Thinking that my baby is going to get sick; I can’t take her out to the store, and I can’t take her to this house.  And how far that goes; I mean, some of these are common sense, and you want to take care of your child, but then how far does it goes?  Does it prevent you from doing things that you want to do, or do others notice that maybe this is being a little unreasonable?  It seems to be causing you even more anxiety to be thinking some of these things.  Another part is that sometimes anxiety can come out as anger.  Feeling just angry and irritable; feeling tense.  That can come out, obviously, with partners, and they can notice it.  Being different, a marked change from before for women.  Those are some of the symptoms that come that people can notice with anxiety.  Another one would be sleeping; when moms can’t sleep when the baby is actually sleeping.  That’s another sign of postpartum anxiety for people to watch out for.

Kristin:  Sure.  That makes sense.  I know even with postpartum doulas in the house, some women still struggle with fully sleeping even though their child is being care for by someone else. And sleep is so essential.  There are so many studies on how, if you’re not getting enough sleep, it can lead to mood disorders and anxiety and so on.

Elsa:  Yeah, it just leaves women very vulnerable, and now it’s become so normalized that part of the postpartum world is just not getting sleep.  And I think it’s also expected that women are also just supposed to go on with their lives and do all the normal things that they’re supposed to do even when they’re running on little to no sleep, and this goes on for weeks or months.

Kristin:  Yes!  So what resources would you suggest if they’re looking for help?  Obviously, we can talk about how to reach out to you!

Elsa:  For sure!  You can definitely contact Mindful Counseling GR.  You can contact Pine Rest.  They actually have a mother baby unit, so they actually have therapists that have specialized training, like I do, to work with women postpartum.

Kristin:  And now Pine Rest even has the ER when you can —

Elsa:  Oh, the urgent care center?

Kristin:  Yes, the urgent care center.  They can go in at night and not have to go the hospital.

Elsa:  yeah, they can go to the urgent care center and get assessed and get attention or treatment a lot quicker.  OB offices have a list of therapists who are trained and specialize with postpartum or perinatal mood disorders, which includes anxiety and depression in pregnancy and postpartum.  So there’s a list that you can ask for from your OB, as well.

Kristin:  Great!  How do they directly reach out to you?  Are you accepting new patients, Elsa?

Elsa:  Yes, I am!  You can reach out to me by contacting me through our website.

Kristin:  Perfect!  Thank you for coming on today!

 

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Rise Wellness Chiropractic

Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction with Rise Wellness Chiropractic: Podcast Episode #90

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Birth, Doulas, Pregnancy / / , , , , , , ,

Dr. Annie and Dr. Rachel talk to Alyssa about Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD), how to prevent it, how to treat it, and things every pregnant and postpartum woman should be doing!  You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or SoundCloud.

Hello.  Welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas.  I am Alyssa, and I’m talking with Dr. Rachel and Dr. Annie again of Rise Wellness Chiropractic.  How are you?

Great!

So I got asked by a client about symphysis pubis dysfunction, and I’m not even exactly sure what that is, but you knew.  Right when I told you, you knew.  So can you tell me?

So SPD — sometimes people think of sensory processing disorder, which is with older kids, but in relation to pregnancy, it’s symphysis pubis dysfunction.

And what the heck does that mean?

It’s a mouthful!  So basically, where your two pelvic bones meet in the front is called your symphysis pubis, so that’s where the two bones meet together.  There’s cartilage in between there, and that area widens for birth.  So usually late second to third trimester, we’ll see some women will start having pain.  That can be related to the relaxin that’s in their system that’s helping the ligaments loosen and helping that area separate, but what we usually find is it’s more due to pelvic imbalances.  Usually one side of the pelvis is higher than the other or something like that or it’s rubbing in a weird way.  That’s usually what causes that symphysis pubis dysfunction.

So it’s strictly for pregnancy?

Yes.

And are there any ways to not get it?  Avoid it?  Treat it?

Get adjusted!

Yeah, just because if it’s caused from a misalignment —

Exactly.  Yeah, if it’s caused from pelvis imbalances, then that is directly a chiropractic issue.  It’s biomechanical.  That’s something that we can address through adjustments.  And then we also have stretches that you can do, and there’s also a Serola belt which is like an SI  belt.  It goes around your sacroiliac joints, and it’s just a low belt.  It doesn’t really do anything in terms of — it’s not like a belly band or something that you would wear to support the baby, but it does help to support the SI joints and keep everything together.  Really, it’s hypermobility in that joint that’s causing that pain.

It’s too mobile?

It’s too mobile.  Yeah, so we usually see it with not first-time pregnant moms but usually second or third, especially if they’ve had some kind of fall or something like that while pregnant.  They can injure their pelvis, and that’s usually what brings those things up.  I actually had a patient a couple weeks who came to us for SPD, and under care, she was doing great.  All her pain went away.  But she had fallen during her first pregnancy, and then during her second pregnancy, she started having all this pain and stuff come on. 

So falling during pregnancy; it’s not just like a random fall at any time in your life that could affect this?

It could be.  Pregnancy is really good at exacerbating existing issues or past issues.  Like if you’ve had any pelvic imbalances in your past and then you’re pregnant, just that relaxin is going to kind of flare things up.  Typically, what we see is pain with putting weight on one leg.  Climbing stairs is when your pelvis is moving the most, so that’s usually when a lot of the pain is flared up.

Walking; something that you don’t have to do very often.

Yeah!

Sounds horrible!

But sitting is not good for it either.  It’s one of those things that nothing is good for it.

Laying hurts; turning while you’re laying.  Like that’s not already hard when you’re in the third trimester!

Does it actually cause any more pain or discomfort during labor and delivery?

It can.  It depends on really, like, what the pelvis — because if you think of the pelvic bowl, if there’s imbalances in the pelvis, it’s not just affecting the bones.  It’s also affecting your pelvic floor muscles.  It’s affecting all of your stabilizer muscles.  So it can potentially affect how things go during labor.  I don’t know if it creates more pain, necessarily, or if it would be, but any pelvic imbalance is going to effect, probably, the efficiency of your labor.

Plus, it doesn’t necessarily clear up after.

That was my next question.

Yeah, it’s not like you deliver the baby and then it’s gone.

Because you still have that imbalance?

Exactly.

Exactly, yeah.

So then what do you do for that?  Just keep getting adjusted?

Well, it should clear.  If you’re getting adjusted, it should help clear it up while pregnant.  So I guess what we’re saying is, you should get checked if it’s happening.

I mean, it’s definitely like you have to retrain that pelvic imbalance somehow, and you do that through chiropractic adjustments or through exercises, through physical therapy, sutff like that.

Yeah.  PT floor rehab, yeah.

Probably a combination of both, right?

Right.  If you do it all, then you probably have best outcomes. 

Yeah, I don’t think we understand how important the pelvic floor is, and all we’ve learned is Kegels.  That’s not necessarily even a good thing to think.  When I saw a physical therapist for pelvic floor issues specifically, I was, like, that makes so much sense!  Even just the way we breathe; I didn’t know that my diaphragm was part of — what would that be?  The top?  The diaphragm is the top of your pelvic floor?

Yeah.  It’s the top of your —

Like the space?  I guess I can’t say top of the floor.  Your pelvic floor is the floor.

Your intrabdominal space.  So it’s like the lid, and then your pelvic floor is the bottom.  But it’s a big airtight balloon, pretty much, so when you breathe, it affects everything.  But pelvic floor is an issue that we don’t talk about, really, with women in birth, but it’s a huge thing.  Every woman who pushes out a baby has pelvic floor issues.  Every woman who has a C-section has pelvic floor issues because those are attached to your abdominals, too.  So, really, every woman should be getting some kind of rehab on pelvic floor after birth.  That’s my soapbox!

I’m in these group exercise classes, and every woman is, like, oh, jumping jacks.  I’m going to pee my pants!  I had one friend who was, like, I was working out and I didn’t know if it was sweat or I had peed my pants!  Yeah.  I get it!

Well, pelvic floor and core strength, too, are both things that get overlooked with women after pregnancy, and then we see women with back pain later, and it’s because their core is so weak.  So, really, we’re just promoting physical therapy pelvic floor rehab.  It’s what needs to be done.

And chiropractic care.  Retraining all that neurology is important.

I think even just learning about it!  I’ve done yoga classes forever, and they will say, like, during this pose, tighten your pelvic floor.  I’m, like, what the hell are they talking about?  What?  How do I do that?  But now after learning that even breathing is different and the feeling of — I hate saying Kegel because it’s not even what it is, but I guess that is the feeling of what you would do to stop your pee, but doing that during certain exercises is a whole different feeling, but I think now that I’m conscious of it, I’m, like, oh, that makes sense.  Oh, I can do that here.  Okay.  It’s gotten a lot better, but I still can’t do jumping jacks.

See?  The jumping jacks!  I don’t do them either.  They’re like, do jumping jacks to warm up, and I’m like… No.

I do the ones where I just put my hands up.  I just kick my leg out.  I’m fine with it!

It’s what everyone’s doing!  They call those jumping jills.

Is there anything else pregnant or postpartum women need to know about symphysis pubis dysfunction?

It’s not something that you need to suffer through.  There’s a lot of chiropractic studies where it helps in a lot of case studies, but also, biomechanically, it makes sense.  You don’t have to feel like you can’t walk up the stairs or sit or that you have to be in a lot of pain when you’re trying to sleep.  Find out you’re pregnant and get under care.  That’s really what we tell people. 

Tell people where to find you!

We are in East Town in the Kingsley Building right next to Gold Coast Doulas, or you can find us at our website or on Facebook and Instagram.  You can message us on those platforms.

Well, as always, thanks!  We’ll have you on again soon!

 

Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction with Rise Wellness Chiropractic: Podcast Episode #90 Read More »

certified doula

The importance of certification – Why Gold Coast Doulas are different!

Doulas / / , , ,

Did you know that in the State of Michigan you (yes, you) can call yourself a doula? There is no licensure, training, or certification required. That’s scary. How do you, as a consumer, know you’re hiring the best doula you can?

At Gold Coast Doulas we believe in elevating the standards of doula support to the highest level possible. That’s why we require every single doula on our team to take a training, complete all of the required coursework, support the required amount of clients, and become certified within the time-frame given by the certification organization. If a doula cannot complete these requirements, they do not work with us.

We don’t believe a training is enough. If you’re looking for a certified doula, don’t be afraid to ask if they are actually certified, and not just trained.

We don’t accept hobbyist doulas. We only bring on those that are motivated, professional, and will adhere to our standards of judgment-free support. We are not activists. We support every type of birth ranging from unmedicated, to epidurals and cesarean births.

At Gold Coast Doulas we have always been transparent with the level of training and certification our doulas have. For instance, pre-certified doulas have taken the training, are working through their coursework, and working through the required amount of qualifying births or postpartum clients. Each doula’s bio will tell you where they are at in their certification process. It takes an average of two years to become certified.

Gold Coast also takes professional development one step further and requires each doula on the team to form their own LLC, carry their own insurance, and complete a minimum of two in-person continuing education trainings per year. We believe that elevating the standards of doula care is critical for the health and support of each family, the sustainability of our business, and the respect of the medical community.

Now, the hard part is deciding which Gold Coast Doula is right for you! We have an amazing team and will work with you personally to find the right fit.

Written by Alyssa Veneklase & Kristin Revere, Co-Owners.

 

The importance of certification – Why Gold Coast Doulas are different! Read More »

Lauren Utter

Meet Lauren – our newest Birth & Postpartum Doula!

Doulas, Postpartum / / , , ,

Welcome Lauren Utter to the Gold Coast team as our newest birth and postpartum doula. We are so happy to have her!

1) What did you do before you became a doula?
I was a preschool teacher, event coordinator for a camp for children with various needs, and a nanny.

2) What inspired you to become a doula?
I accidentally discovered doula work. For a while, I knew I wanted to work with families transitioning into parenthood but I did not know how specifically. Initially, I thought I would be a lactation consultant but with more research the term “doula” kept coming up and it was exactly what I was looking for. I am excited and eager to begin supporting families as a doula.

3) Tell us about your family.
I come from a large family. Five kids and I am smack dab in the middle. Our house was loud, busy, and always on the go. We are all very close now, and I am proud to call them some of my closest friends. Also, we ALL have our own dog so you can imagine how wild holidays are.

4) What is your favorite vacation spot and why? 
I have not traveled as often and far as I hope to one day, but my favorite so far is Hawaii. It has some of everything; beaches, mountains, volcanoes, and culture.

5) Name your top five bands/musicians and tell us what you love about them.
Surprising to most, I do not listen to music often. If I do it is normally the radio or on shuffle. However, a couple current favorites are Leon Bridges and Desi Valentine, and am a big fan of songs that make you want to move!

6) What is the best advice you have given to new families?
Parenting is not one size fits all. It looks different for every individual and family.

7) What do you consider your doula superpower to be?
Connecting with timid babies and toddlers, and babies experiencing stranger danger.

8) What is your favorite food?
French Fries!

9) What is your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast?
Ludington is one of my favorite places in West Michigan’s Gold Coast because my family and I always went in the summers growing up. It is a family favorite.

10) What are you reading now?
The Whole-Brain Child By; Dr. Dan J. Siegel, and Nurture By; Erica Chidi Cohen.

11) Who are your role models?
I have loads of role models but a few are Malala Yousafzai, Michelle Obama, and Ellen DeGeneres.

 

Meet Lauren – our newest Birth & Postpartum Doula! Read More »

Spectrum Health Midwives

Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative: Podcast Episode #89

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Birth, Pregnancy / / , , , , , , , ,

Today we speak with Katie and Becky from Spectrum Health in Grand Rapids about what it means to be a designated Baby-Friendly hospital. You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or SoundCloud.

Kristin: Welcome to Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas. I’m Kristin, co-owner, and I’ve got Alyssa here. And we’ve got special guests joining us today from Spectrum talking about the Baby-Friendly initiative. So welcome, ladies! Introduce yourselves and tell us about your background!

Becky: My name is Becky Crawford, and I’m a nurse manager at Spectrum. My background is in postpartum and labor and delivery nursing.

Katie: And I’m Katie. I’m the project specialist for women and infants at Spectrum Health. My background: I am an RN, and my background is high risk OB and postpartum nursing.

Alyssa: Awesome!

Kristin: Fantastic! Thanks for joining us! Tell us about what baby friendly means and why it’s such an intense process to go through certification. Fill us in!

Katie: The Baby-Friendly hospital initiative was actually created back in the early 90s, and it’s an international organization to promote, protect, and support breastfeeding practices. Spectrum Health Butterworth was designated Baby-Friendly initially in October of 2014, and we just went through the redesignation process and were redesignated at the end of May of this year. There are ten steps for Baby-Friendly that each support breastfeeding practices, and we can talk through some of those steps, as well. You have to be proficient in all of those ten steps to receive the designation, so you really have to show breastfeeding excellence, and it’s a really strict and rigorous process to go through.

Becky: I think overall, the way I describe it to patients is that we’ve created a culture that’s supportive of breastfeeding and of moms that want to breastfeed. So it’s not that we force anyone to breastfeed. Our goal is just to educate moms, support them, and help them be successful if that’s the option they choose.

Katie: Absolutely. As nursing professionals, part of our responsibility it to make sure that best practice and current research reaches our patients and that they’re educated on all of those best practices. Breastfeeding is best practice, but it’s also about informed choice and supporting our patients with whatever choice they make. While Baby-Friendly is primarily about breastfeeding and supporting breastfeeding, there is a formula feeding option there, and we support patients in that option, as well. It should never be about pressure. It should just be about education and informed choice.

Kristin: That is a question that I get from doula clients. If they choose, whether for medical necessity or personal choice, to formula-feed, how they can navigate the system with Baby-Friendly hospitals.

Alyssa: That’s what I was going to ask, too. Do you think that designation scares a mom who knows she doesn’t want to breastfeed? Does she think shes going to come into this hospital and you’re going to try to force it? What does that look like for a mom who doesn’t want to?

Becky: We do hear that feedback from moms that haven’t delivered with us, that they’re just nervous. Having to talk about breastfeeding, even, can be an uncomfortable conversation if they know that’s not the choice they want to make. So our approach with our staff is to educate the patient on all the options, let them choose, and then support. So it should be a one-time conversation. We’re going to talk through all your feeding options. These are the great benefits of breastfeeding. If you choose not to do it, okay. Then let’s talk about formula feeding, and we’ll focus our education there. So making sure they know their options, they understand the benefits, and then support.

Katie: And, you know, nurses educate on a lot of topics, right? It’s not just about breastfeeding. But the other topics we educate on, it’s the same sort of informed choice, right? Breastfeeding is such a personal decision. It’s such an emotionally charged topic. I think that while we need to educate our patients on breastfeeding and why it’s great, we also need to acknowledge the fact that it is a really personal choice, and it’s okay if you choose not to, as long as we’ve given you all of the information.

Kristin: And so your labor and delivery nurses, your postpartum nurses — everyone is specially trained to support the initial latch and continued breastfeeding through their stay?

Katie: Yes.

Kristin: And that’s something that we always stress as doulas is that you have support from your nurses as well as the board-certified lactation consultants who do rounds in the postpartum time.

Katie: Actually, one of the ten steps is staff education. All of our nurses receive 20 hours of dedicated breastfeeding education. Of that, 15 hours are classroom education and then 5 of those is clinical, practical breastfeeding education hours. Every one of our nurses; it’s built into orientation for any women’s nurse, so everyone from labor and delivery to postpartum gets this education. There’s also a requirement for providers, so nurse midwives as well as physicians, to receive additional breastfeeding education, as well. Per Baby-Friendly, they’re required to receive three hours of breastfeeding education.

Becky: We also have a team of lactation consultants that offer further help for any mom that’s struggling, but I’m also bringing in more peer counselors, too, just to round on every patient and offer every mom some support, ever with those first few times they’re latching, just so they can hear that they’re doing a great job. It’s really just to address the breastfeeding concerns of all moms, not just the moms that are struggling, just to really walk them through it.

Katie: And we do have quite a few nurses that are certified breastfeeding counselors, so they have received additional education as well as the education that they received for Baby-Friendly.

Kristin: How are you able to support moms with babies that go to the NICU initially with their breastfeeding goals?

Becky: Well, actually, we get them pumping right away. If your goal is to breastfeed, we like to have them pump within two hours of delivery to start establishing that supply. Our nurses will come in and do education, and the lactation consultants will see them, also, and just talk about the importance of pumping to build up that supply. They’re also going to skin to skin. There are some lactation consultants that are dedicated just to the NICU and these moms, so there’s a lot of support there, too.

Katie: The providers in the NICU are very, very supportive of breastfeeding, and they encourage and educate moms on the importance of breastfeeding, as well, so there’s good collaboration between our OB teams and our NICU teams regarding supporting those moms in breastfeeding and being successful.

Kristin: That’s what my clients tell me, that they get a lot of support, even over at Helen DeVoss, as well as in their rooms with lactation. As far as other elements of the Baby-Friendly designation, what else encompasses those ten standards?

Becky: There’s a lot. We start right at delivery, with the golden hour after delivery. We place baby skin to skin immediately after delivery, and we avoid all unnecessary care for that first hour. Any exams or assessments would all be done while the baby is skin to skin on mom. We try to give them that time to bond and establish that first feeding.

Kristin: And if the mom can’t do skin to skin, I have dads ask me all the time about the benefits of them doing skin to skin with baby. So that’s something that’s encouraged, as well?

Becky: Absolutely. We’ve had lots of dads do skin to skin. We like to bring them in on the process whenever possible.

Kristin: That’s fantastic. And then delayed cord clamping is now a standard policy?

Becky: Yes. And we also room-in, so babies stay with their moms 24 hours a day unless mom requests otherwise. But that’s what we try to encourage and do all procedures at the bedside to keep the family together 24 hours a day.

Katie: I think that rooming in is another hot topic when you’re talking about Baby-Friendly and breastfeeding, and the literature does tell us that rooming in does help moms to be more successful breastfeeding. I think that it’s important that patients understand that we’re going to allow you to keep your baby with you. We’re going to be able to take care of mom and baby together. You’re going to learn your baby’s feeding cues. You’re going to learn all those little nuances. We’re going to help you learn that in the couple of days that you have with us. There is space where if you wanted your baby to go to a nursery, we could do that. We’re supportive of that, as well, but again, we are going to educate, and then we’re going to honor choice.

Becky: Exactly.

Kristin: And then there’s delayed bathing and other procedures beyond that?

Katie: Yes.

Alyssa: What’s the thought behind all the delayed cord clamping, delayed bathing? Why? What are the benefits?

Katie: The delayed bath is sort of about the transition from being inside mom and then outside and regulating temperature. So we wait at least twelve hours. We like to wait closer to 24 hours to do that first bath. We’re, of course, not going to hand you an ooey gooey baby. We do a little wiping off, but it really does help that baby transition to life outside of mom and regulate. It also allows you to go immediately into skin to skin so the baby can help regulate not just the temperature, but the heart rate and the breathing. And, again, that’s evidence based. In fact, there’s a pediatrician out in Massachusetts who really pioneered the Baby-Friendly initiative in the hospitals out in Massachusetts, and she did a study on delaying the baby bath, as well. That’s the literature we have for it; it’s all about maintaining stability for the baby.

Kristin: That’s awesome, Katie.

Becky: For the delayed cord clamping, that just gives the newborn a little more blood volume, and, actually, it’s better for baby. There’s no reason to cut the cord any sooner, unless the baby is having a respiratory issue and would need resuscitation, so that would be out of the norm. But otherwise, we do wait and delay so the baby can have more blood volume from the placenta.

Alyssa: How long?

Becky: Our standard is a minimum of one minute. I know a lot of moms request —

Alyssa: So this isn’t like it’s for an hour —

Becky: We’re not saying 10 minutes or 20 minutes. Generally, the cord stops pumping within five minutes. So some moms request to please wait until it stops pulsating, and we can do that, too. Generally, we wait about a minute, and that’s probably close to when it stops pulsating. But we’re not talking about an hour or anything like that.

Kristin: Yeah, some of my clients want to see it actually turn gray and stop pulsating before it’s cut.

Alyssa: And I didn’t want to see mine at all.

Becky: I didn’t either, personally!

Alyssa: My husband did accidentally and was like, oh, my God, an organ just fell out of you!

Katie: I love all of that stuff. It’s so fascinating!

Kristin: As far as additional steps that you take to get recertified, tell us about that process and why it’s important.

Katie: You will see in our women’s and infant services department that OB triage is on A level, and then all the way up to the 8th floor in that tower, you’ll see the 10 Steps for Baby-Friendly posted. It’s just showing our support of those ten steps. We have to show that patients receive prenatal education in our clinics regarding breastfeeding. We have to show that all of our staff receive the education. The people that come out to do our survey — the interview staff.

Becky: And patients.

Katie: And patients and providers, so they will go in patient rooms to see that they receive the education about breastfeeding and that they’re being appropriately supported for breastfeeding. So they look at our exclusive breastfeeding rate.

Kristin: And then you have support groups, as well, when mothers go home and need additional support. They can go to free support groups and seek help through their OB or midwives or pediatricians?

Katie: Absolutely. I think a lot of our pediatricians have at least one pediatrician who is an IBCLC, so a lactation consultant, as well. I know that our DeVoss clinic has two pediatricians that are lactation consultants.

Becky: And our pediatrician who is an IBCLC actually oversees the residents, and so she’s the one working with them and training them. It’s kind of keeping that mindset forefront for all of them, too, and helping them learn the Baby-Friendly system.

Katie: So while nursing took this on and rolled it out, there is a lot of support from providers, as well. Of course, our nurse midwives receive, as part of their education, breastfeeding, but our pediatric providers are all very supportive of breastfeeding, as well.

Alyssa: Is there anything that you think is a misconception for this Baby-Friendly Initiative? Is there anything that it isn’t? You told it what it is, but what isn’t it?

Becky: Yes. I think the thing we hear most is that, I’m going to be pressured to breastfeed if I deliver there. And there is nothing further from the truth. Our goal is a culture supportive of breastfeeding, not a culture of pressure. So our goal is to educate, let moms make decisions, and support them. So there’s no pressure. I think the other big misconception is about rooming in. Sometimes you have a mom who, let’s say, has had a C-section and she’s exhausted, and she just needs support for a couple of hours. We will accommodate that. We’re all about supporting moms. So although we do encourage rooming in, and there are a lot of benefits to it, in certain circumstances when it’s not best for the family, we support what is.

Katie: I think that it’s the 80/20 rule. There’s going to be exceptions to every rule, and it’s just important that we support our patients through that. I think that Becky and I have probably both taken care of those moms that have had long labors or C-sections, and they come up to the floor, and they just need rest. You have to take care of yourself.

Becky: They’re crying. The baby’s crying. Everyone’s hit a wall. And it’s like, why don’t I just cuddle your baby for an hour. You take a nap, and then let’s try again. Sometimes just 45 minutes of sleep can change the entire situation.

Katie: I remember after my second one, I got two hours of sleep. Like, two consecutive hours. And it was the best two hours ever!

Alyssa: I’m thinking about my situation. It was fairly quick. Yeah, sure, I was tired, but I did choose one time in the middle of the night to have them take my daughter to the nursery so I could get — it was about two hours. But I felt so amazing. But I wasn’t in this dire circumstance. So today with — this was before the Baby-Friendly. So today, would I have to prove to you that I need the sleep?

Becky: No.

Katie: No!

Alyssa: It’s just, would you take her for a couple of hours? You’re not going to say, well, you don’t check these boxes, so she won’t go.

Becky: No. I think the goal is when moms come up to the postpartum unit to talk to them about, well, babies room in 24-7, and we keep you together and care for you together. However, if you have a need to send your baby to the nursery, we’ll accommodate that. So our goal is to not educate the mom at 2:00 a.m. who’s exhausted and crying about how she should room in with her baby. That’s not really the time to have that conversation, and it probably wouldn’t be well-received. So we want to educate them when they first come up so that at that point, at 2:00 a.m., if you decide to make that decision, it will be more like, okay. I’ll bring her back for her next feeling.

Alyssa: I didn’t think I wanted to, but now I do.

Becky: And that is common. Okay, I just need a little bit of a nap, and then I can keep going.

Kristin: Yeah, we’ve had clients hire us to help out in their postpartum room when their partner had to go home to tend to another child or had a job to get back to. We’ve loved that role of being in the hospital, as well as later on in the home, to support them and help them get sleep and also learn baby cues and feedings and help support breastfeeding.

Alyssa: Basically, be their postpartum doula in the hospital as well as at home.

Becky: We would welcome that support, definitely! I’m sure our nurses would love to partner with you on that!

Alyssa: For those moms who don’t want to send — maybe they desperately want the sleep, but they don’t feel comfortable sending their baby to the nursery. Your doula sits in the rocking chair and holds your baby.

Becky: What a great option!

Alyssa: Yeah, it’s been really kind of life-altering for a few of our clients who are a little bit more on the — you know, a lot of moms just have anxiety, especially first-time moms.

Katie: I think that so much of the focus goes to the baby, but we’re taking care of mom, too, and that needs to be in the forefront, as well. There’s two patients there.

Becky: And be aware of her self-care and her needs in the moment, too, because what I always try to tell my patients is, you need to take care of yourself so you can take care of this baby. And if that means a short nap, then I think we need to do that because it’s going to make you a better mom in the morning when you’ve had a little bit of sleep.

Kristin: Exactly. What other hospitals in the area within the Spectrum brand are Baby-Friendly? We have clients in a 50-mile radius of Grand Rapids, so we work with a lot of your smaller hospitals, as well.

Katie: So Spectrum Health Butterworth just received redesignation, like we talked about. Spectrum Health Zeeland.

Becky: They’re newly designation last September.

Katie: And then Spectrum Health United Memorial up in Greenville. They were designated five years ago, and they’re going through the redesignation process right now.

Alyssa: So is it every five years?

Katie: Yes. And then Spectrum Health Big Rapids is going after designation, as well. We have, as a system, Baby-Friendly requires us to have an infant feeding policy, and we have standardized that infant feeding policy across the system for all of our regional hospitals, as well. So you’re going to see a piece of Baby-Friendly in all Spectrum hospitals. And the reason for that is that it’s evidence based and it’s best practice, so even if they’re not designated Baby-Friendly, these are practices that we should all be doing.

Becky: Right. They’re probably practicing very similar to Baby-Friendly, even if they don’t officially have that designation.

Alyssa: That’s great. Anything else you want to share before we sign off?

Kristin: What resources, if any of our listeners want to learn more about Baby-Friendly or some of the work Spectrum has done — where can they go online to get more information?

Becky: I think just going to the Baby-Friendly website will give you a lot of information about the 10 Steps and about what we’re focused on as a Baby-Friendly hospital. So you can really start just researching Baby-Friendly, and we are following that to a T, so that will tell you how we’re practicing.

Katie: Our provider offices also have education and information about Baby-Friendly, and then —

Becky: Our childbirth education classes.

Katie: Yes, at Spectrum Health Healthier Communities. They have information, as well.

Kristin: So the educators can fill their students in with any questions they have?

Katie: Correct, yes.

Kristin: And then is there anything special with the hospital tours that our clients go on before delivery? Do you incorporate Baby-Friendly or answer questions based on that? I haven’t been on a tour in a while.

Katie: I don’t think that they specifically talk about Baby-Friendly, except that —

Becky: The practices, probably.

Katie: Yeah. They likely don’t highlight the nursery like they used to. Our nursery — we don’t have babies lined up in the nursery like we used to. They’re with their moms, so you can’t go to the maternity floor and look through the window of the nursery. There’s no babies there.

Becky: I do think they talk about some of our practices, about how you room in and we keep babies together. And I think the other thing is maybe some of the practices, like the skin to skin after delivery. Things that might be different than other hospitals, just so they know what to expect; that we would never supplement a baby unless it was medically necessary, and we’re not handing out pacifiers unless somebody requests it. So it might be slightly different than other hospitals that are doing deliveries in the area.

Katie: Our childbirth educators are pretty passionate about breastfeeding and supporting breastfeeding practices, as well as supporting natural birth. They give the whole gamut of the birth experience.

Kristin: Well, thank you for joining us and sharing so much!

 

For tips on how to make your hospital room feel cozy for birth read Creating A Cozy Hospital Birth Space in First Time Parent Magazine by Kirstin Revere.

 

Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative: Podcast Episode #89 Read More »

The Millennial Guru

Saving for Baby: Podcast Episode #88

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Pregnancy / / , , , ,

Kristin talks to Paige, The Millennial Guru, again today about how to financially prepare for growing your family!  You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or SoundCloud.

Kristin:  Welcome to Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas.  I’m Kristin, co-owner of Gold Coast, and I’ve got Paige Cornetet, the Millennial Guru, here with me for our second episode on financial tips.  This one is focused on, once you’ve had your baby, how to really stock savings and plan ahead and make important financial decisions.  So welcome, Paige!

Paige:  Thank you!  Thanks for having me on!

Kristin:  Yes, it’s our pleasure!  Fill us in, for those who missed the previous episode, a bit about what you do, and then we’ll get into your ideas for how our clients and audience can save.

Paige:  Perfect, thank you.  I started the business Millennial Guru, and basically, I do workshops and trainings focused on women as well as millennials.  I’ve written a couple of children books focused on financial education.

Kristin:  Fantastic.  Yeah, I love your books, and you’ve got another one coming out?

Paige:  Yes.  This one’s called The Hen in the Pen, and it’s all about investments and understanding the difference when you eat your chickens, when you eat your eggs, and if you eat all your chickens, you don’t have anymore eggs left, so focusing on eating your chickens because they provide for your lifestyle and growing your flock of chickens.

Kristin:  I love it!  I can’t wait for it to come out.  So tips — okay, so baby is here, and children are expensive?

Paige:  What?!  Yes, very!

Kristin:  So let us know what you would recommend for our audience.

Paige:  Oh, my gosh.  I mean, that’s a good question; that’s a big question.  I would say tips for moms: I think it’s really important to definitely have, like we talked about before on the previous episode — margin.  So understanding that cushion of what it is, how much that you need for a rainy day fund, whether it’s an emergency or something that the baby needs that you didn’t know that you were going to need and they didn’t get it at your baby shower, whatever it is.  Understanding what are the necessities, and then taking it even further, around the wants and needs.  So understanding what is it that you need; what is it that your baby needs; what is it that your family needs, and then what is it that you want?  What is it that your baby wants?  And what is it that your family wants?  Kind of differentiating those two, I think, makes a big difference.

Kristin:  Sure.  And they’re all the decisions of, do you leave your job and stay home with the baby, or do you look at in-home or a childcare center for daycare, and how do you maximize your income if you do return to work when all this money is going out for childcare, and what is the best situation for your family?

Paige:  Totally.

Kristin:  Short-term and then long-term.

Paige:  Well, and I think you have to be honest with yourself, as well.  I have a lot of friends who are having babies, and they’re either going back to work or leaving work and figuring out what that is, what that means to them.  And I think that, as well as, yeah, your personal desires on top of, you know, what is it that you can afford, whether it’s daycare, whether it’s staying home, and how does that look for you?  But I think being honest is the first step with yourself.  And then on top of that is, what is it that you want, and what is it that you need?  How do you need to provide for that desire?

Kristin:  Yes.  And then planning for college and other expenses and even — I mean, my kids are in sports and other activities, like theater, and all of the activities get pricey.  My daughter started dance at age two, for example, and so you think of those expenses, and are you going to limit activities for children?  What are you willing to budget for activities, sports, and so on?

Paige:  Absolutely.  Well, it’s interesting you say that about activities.  My family had a saying.  It was called GUTS, and it stood for Golf, U Pick, Tennis, and Swimming.  So those were the four activities that we were allowed to do, so golf, tennis, and swimming are things you can do until you’re 80, so they’re life-long sports.  Even if you don’t play it, you still have to learn it and do it.  And then the u-pick was just, whatever it is that you wanted.  So I loved dance.  I loved ballet; I loved jazz.  And I had to do it.  So even though it was u-pick, since there was four of us, my dad was, like, well, your sister has to do it with you, too, in terms of coordination and carpool and schedules.  It’s time and money.

Kristin:  That’s what it’s all about, yes.

Paige:  My sister, Brooke, she didn’t love dance as much as I did, but she did love the vending machine that gave candy at the bottom of it, so I was able to convince her to do one more year because there was skittles and candy that we could get right after.  Her want was candy; mine was dance.

Kristin:  It’s all about compromise.

Paige:  Exactly.

Kristin:  And then looking at other things outside of kids’ activities and just — you had talked in the previous podcast about maximizing your time, talents, energy, and so on.  So outsourcing your household things, whether it’s getting your groceries delivered by Shipt or having a housecleaner come in, or a postpartum doula, which I highly recommend!  Get some sleep!  What are your priorities?  So tell us about some of your theories in maximizing and how to figure out what might be more beneficial to outsource.

Paige:  Yeah.  I think just the things that you mentioned are really great, but understanding what is it that takes you a lot of time and what are the things that you don’t like to do that you can outsource?  So I would say, yeah, I love the grocery delivery.  If you want to work out, too, who is going to take the baby so that you can be physically active, or is there a place like the gym that you can bring your baby to so that you can work out while the baby’s there?  So I think figuring out what are your lists of goals; what are the things you need?  Definitely sleep!  Number one is sleep, and then we can talk about food and physical activity.  It’s understanding that, what that is that you need, and then going, okay, so if I need sleep, let’s hire a doula so that mom can get some rest.  Okay, now that I have the sleep — food.  I need healthy food.  Using outsourcing; people bringing food, meals.  Communities, whatnot; Shipt.

Kristin:  Yeah, special food delivery services that are local, as well as national, that you can get food delivered to your door, which is also a time saver, and if you can get specialty diet needs because a lot of people may need to cut out dairy or have certain allergies if they’re breastfeeding their baby and need to make some adjustments to their regular diet.

Paige:  Exactly.

Kristin:  So other than that, what are your other tips when you’re looking at — you’ve got this baby.  I mean, there’s college, obviously.  That’s a big one.

Paige:  Yes.  Well, I would say education, just in general, is an important one to be thinking about because, okay, they’re going to preschool.  Now they’re in middle school.  All those different levels of schooling, and what does that look like?  Where do you live?  For example, Michigan has a really great public school system.  Where I grew up, Florida, does not.  So what does that look like where you live, the state?  What works for you?  Would you want to send your kid to, like, a Montessori — I grew up there, so I’m a big fan of Montessori — and if you do, what does that look like?  So I think education is definitely a priority and planning for that, as well as just, not only education for paying for that, but education for your child from you because you are a teacher, as well, to your children.  And so are there things that you want to teach your child?  For example, I just have coffee this morning with a good friend.  She has a two-year-old, and she’s, like, what is education?  I want my daughter to go to a great college and — but she’s like, but I want her to have access to a lot of experiences like they’re going to spend a month and a half in Hawaii with her brother to really understand — and she’s like, I’m bringing my daughter with me.  I’m so excited because it’s important for her to see the world is bigger than just West Michigan where she lives.  So education, I think, in the whole sense of the word, is definitely very important on many levels for your children.

Kristin:  It’s not just planning for college.  You’re looking at, will it be a private or parochial school that you need to reserve funds for, or is music education?  You would lump that into the education category?  Same as sporting activities, for example?

Paige:  Yes, as well as experiences, too, right?  So let’s say travel is very important to you and you want that to be important to your children.  Are you going to be providing for those experiences that are very educational but maybe aren’t necessarily around schooling?

Kristin:  So when you’re planning your family budget, how does all of that fit in?

Paige:  Well, I think it depends on each family, of course.  So each family has, you know, from different jobs, different means, different lifestyles, different priorities.  But the one thing that we all have in common is time.  So we all have that equally, and I think that understanding where is the time going and what is it that your children are going to be doing?  For example, like you said, different sports; activities.  What’s important to you?  What’s important to the child?  What’s important to give them exposure to?  And then I think if you can do that and set that overarching as a bigger picture, it kind of will fall into place and you can start planning for that more strategically.

Kristin:  So how can people connect with you individually if they want to set up a planning session or hear you speak?  You have many appearances with your book releases coming out and so on.

Paige:  They can email me at paige@millennialguru.com.  Or you can call me and contact me at 616-443-1000.  Or they can go to my website or any social media, Millennial Guru.

Kristin:  Thank you so much for being on!

Paige:  Thank you!  Thanks for having me!

 

Saving for Baby: Podcast Episode #88 Read More »

The Millennial Guru

The Millennial Guru: Podcast Episode #87

Ask The Doulas Podcast / / , , ,

Paige, The Millennial Guru, shares some savvy saving tips to help you think about priorities, wants, and needs and how to budget for them.  You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or SoundCloud.

Kristin:  Welcome to Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas.  I’m Kristin, co-owner, and I’m here today with Paige Cornetet, and she is known as the Millennial Guru.  Welcome, Paige!

Paige:  Thank you!  So excited to be on the show today!

Kristin:  Yes!  Tell us about why you started Millennial Guru.  You’re also an author.  Fill us in, since you’re a local Grand Rapids resident and business owner.

Paige:  Absolutely!  So I started the business with the intent in mind of how to help  my generation.  I’m a Millennial, too, so full disclosure, I’m a Millennial helping the Millennials.  It was about how to help my generation understand themselves and dive in a little bit further, as well as teams.  Obviously, when you get out of college, you get a job and you go to work, and you work with a different type of generation of people, so yourself, as well as different generations, and kind of how to bridge that gap with the different generations.  What does that look like with different technology, with different concepts, with different philosophies.  I think the most important thing with who I work with is starting with yourself.  Who are you?  What are your talents?  What are you good at?  Then, once you understand that fully, how can you express that to your team and understand your team members and their talents.

Kristin:  I love that!

Paige:  You, yourself, is kind of the thought and the basis of the philosophy for my business.  Then it kind of led into not only understanding yourself but also understanding your wealth.  Those kind of go hand in hand.  I wrote a bunch of different children’s books, and it was really fun.  It was with the intent of, okay, so I’m helping my generation understand about themselves and also about their wealth and that the themes are and the concepts and the understanding.  Then I was thinking, how can I help the even younger generation, the kids, the little guy, understand at even an earlier age.  They’re not going to necessarily understand themselves yet, but they can understand themes and concepts of their wealth or their future wealth.

Kristin:  My kids have one of your books, and they love it!

Paige:  Yay!

Kristin:  So as far as focus, how can people who are local to you connect and figure out, even if they’re not ready to have kids, maybe how to plan for their future of wanting a family, wanting a house/

Paige:  Yes!  First of all they can connect on the website or my email, paige@millennialguru.com.

Kristin:  And you’re very active on social media.  They can find you on Instagram, Facebook, everywhere.

Paige:  Exactly, all of the above.  I think that, first of all, they can connect with me, and then we can have a bunch of different conversations.  I do workshops, on top of that.  It’s understanding first what you’re good at and what that looks like for you.  So, for example, one of my talents is Maximizer.  I love doing many things at once, meaning killing many birds with one stone.  That’s the high pressure life, and how I do things is make sure that I’m covering a lot of things.  It’s kind of for the greater good, the excellent.  So I bring that to my business and also my personal life, as well.  So when I’m investing, I want to maximize my return.  I always want to maximize; what is the best way that I can do it to get the most out of it?  That’s how I do things, including my goalsetting.  As an example of a big goal, I have three siblings, and I wanted to go on a trip with them each individually this year, which is a lot of trips.  My 30th birthday is coming up, and so I thought what if I can just do a whole sibling trip and we can all go together and I can check all those boxes off at once?  We’re about ready to do that.  We’re going on a safari in Africa, the four of us together, soon.  That’s an example of how understanding yourself and how you approach things can apply to you professionally, to your goals, your personal goals, your business goals, and to your future financial planning goals.

Kristin:  What are your priorities?  If travel is a priority before having children, how do you save for that and craft out the time in a busy work schedule?  Life in general is busy.

Paige:  What?  It is?

Kristin:  Right?  And then saving for a family if that’s something they desire, as well as checking off those boxes of travel and things that they want to get accomplished.

Paige:  Absolutely, and I think you said that really great.  Priorities means establishing what are your wants and what are your needs.  Once you have the needs covered for you, you also have to think about the needs when you have a family.  What are the needs for the kids?  What do they need?  What are their wants?  First, if you can do it with yourself: what do I want?  What do I need?  Planning financially for that will help make it easier going forward when you do have a family and you have kids.  It’s like, okay.  Do I want those really cute little baby shoes for them, or do they actually need them?  They’re really cute and they’re Instagrammable, so…

Kristin:  So much of life right now is the Instagram filters and photos!

Paige:  And they do grow, so eventually, they probably won’t need those shoes.  It’s things like that.

Kristin:  And you also travel quite a bit.  We have listeners from all around the country, and you do workshops and speaking engagements?

Paige:  Yeah.  It depends on who and what and how and also where, but I’m mostly in Eastern standard time.  That’s kind of where I stick myself a lot.  It’s a little bit easier for myself.  Again, my Maximizer can’t help it.  Let’s just stay in the same time zone so that I don’t have to catch up on sleep!  But yes, I’m all over.  I do a lot of speaking engagements and workshops, mostly focused around yourself and your wealth.

Kristin:  And we had talked ab bit when we met up for coffee recently.  You do some strategy session for entrepreneurs like myself and helping small businesses maximize their wealth, personally and for the business itself.

Paige:  Absolutely.  It’s interesting that you say that because I’ve been thinking about that a lot as myself being an entrepreneur.  Where is my margin?  Where is that space where I can have creative development for that, and where is the space that I can have financially, as well?  So the margin has been kind of at the forefront of helping entrepreneurs.  Where is that cushion — and margin is the word that I use for it, but you could use a lot of different words — of financially, and so feeling that way or distributing or redistributing things, as well as your time and energy as an entrepreneur.  Are you doing it all?

Kristin:  Yes, or can you outsource?

Paige:  And that goes back to families, too, right?  If there are certain things when you’re having kids or having a family, what can you outsource?  Who can you use to rely on, if it’s a community or if it’s grandparents.  Extra set of hands!

Kristin:  Yes, we’ll have to talk about some of that outsourcing for families in our next episode.  We’ll have you on to talk a bit more about savings when you have a newborn.  And again, if people are interested, they can find you at your website.

Paige:  Thank you so much!

Kristin:  Yeah!  Thanks for being on!

 

The Millennial Guru: Podcast Episode #87 Read More »

Certified B Corporation

What is a B Corp? Podcast Episode #86

Ask The Doulas Podcast / / , ,

Today Kristin talks to Hanna from Local First about what it means to be Certified B Corporation and how it impacts our community.  Gold Coast Doulas is the area’s most recent B Corp!  You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or SoundCloud.

Kristin:  Welcome to Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas.  I’m Kristin, co-owner of Gold Coast, and I’ve got Hanna Schultz here with me.  She’s from Local First, and we’re going to be talking about B Corp business today.  Welcome, Hanna!

Hanna:  Thank you so much for having me!

Kristin:  Thanks for being here!  So we have partnered with you.  We’ve been a Local First member from the day we started Gold Coast, but we’ve been working with you over the years, initially becoming a Good for Michigan business, and now we’re so excited to be a certified B Corp business.  I’d love to hear your involvement in the process and why B Corps matter.

Hanna:  Absolutely.  Local First started about 15 years ago.  The organization was born about 15 years ago, and through the years, we have really seen, and the statistics support, that local businesses are better for the community in a lot of different ways, based on every indicator: environmentally, socially, and the way that businesses give back to the community.  So we’ve leaned into that, those studies, and what we’ve seen with our Local First businesses, and like you had mentioned, we sort of created this program that we call Good for Michigan, helping businesses to really track their metrics around their environment, social, and community sustainability.  We want businesses to success financially, and we see the connection between businesses that give back to the community and treat their employees well and also are conscientious about how they consume from the environment or what they put back into the environment.  We see the connection between those things and a healthy business financially, so we have created programs to help businesses track those metrics.  Through that work, we’ve also created a very strong partnership with a nonprofit called B Lab, and that is a nonprofit that certifies B Corps, like you mentioned.  Gold Coast is Michigan’s newest certified B Corporation.  There are 22 in the state now, which we are really excited about.

Kristin:  It’s growing!  It’s so exciting!

Hanna:  Congratulations!  Local First and the Good for Michigan program are a Be Local community here in Michigan, so if any business is interested in going through the certification process for B Corp, they can come to us to get some assistance or to be connected into resources to help them through that certification process.

Kristin:  And we started with a Quick Impact Assessment to see where we scored, areas we could improve, and then sat down with you when we knew our goal was to become a B Corp.  We were learning how we can work on our environmental impact, our community service, governance, and all of the different categories.

Hanna:  Absolutely, and the Quick Impact Assessment is a very helpful tool for businesses to start out with because it’s free.  It’s a relatively easy way to just sort of check out and see what questions are going to arise around your business, depending on the size of the business and the sector of business that you’re in.  Gold Coast Doulas would not take the same exact assessment as a law firm or as a restaurant, for instance.  The assessment kind of auto-generates based on the category that you self-select into.  The Quick Impact Assessment is a good way to get a snapshot of what a larger assessment could look like and give you an idea of where the low-hanging fruit might be, for instance, around, well, we don’t have a recycling program in our office yet, but we could probably do that.  Then Local First and Good for Michigan can help tie you into the resources in the community that can help you get there.  West Michigan, in particular, which is where the work has started — we’ve started to scale across the state now, but West Michigan in particular is so rich in resources; specifically nonprofit resources, to help businesses kind of improve those different impact area.  So there are organizations that can help you implement a recycling or composting program.  There are resources that can help you check your energy efficiency and save money in those ways.  There are also organizations that can help you with your employment to be a conscientious employer around benefits and salaries and cultural competency, which is something that is really relevant in our community.  There are resources that we have curated through our website and in other ways to help businesses connect into those services that will cost them either very little or are free in the community so businesses can focus on spending the time to do the work and not worry about having to gather the resources financially to put into it.  There are ways; there are certainly things you can do if you have the resources, but if you don’t and you’re really just interested in doing the best work that you can afford to do, we’ve helped businesses along that spectrum as well.

Kristin:  We’ve certainly appreciated all of the support and help you’ve given to us!  I would say the biggest learning experience for me in the six-month process of becoming certified was that, really, I have always prided ourselves on shopping local and looking at our vendors, but to become a B Corp, there’s so much documentation as part of that process and things that you don’t really even think of doing, like checking where do they get their t-shirts from, and are things ethically sources, and it’s more than just supporting local businesses.  It’s looking at where their suppliers are, where the sourcing is, and thinking that you live in — your business is located in a sustainable building, but what can you do beyond that, and how are you tracking your energy usage and efficiency?  It was eye-opening to me, going through the process and knowing how we can do better in the future because it’s a three-year certification process, so we have documentation.  Just getting certified is a continuous process to become certified, and again, you have a lot of businesses that have been long-time B Corps and they have gone through that recertification process.

Hanna:  Yeah, and I think one of the unique things about B Corp certification that is different, because I think as a business owner there are a number of different certifications out there, and you can look and see what fits your business best so that you can really signal your values as a business.  I think something that’s becoming more and more prevalent is that consumers are supporting businesses that signal values that mirror theirs, so being able to say, hey, we’re a responsible business.  Maybe it’s LEED certified.  There are some that you see that are all over the place, and something that we see value in B Corp, particularly, is because the process is so rigorous and because you have to recertify every three years, which I think at times there is a challenge around whether a business or an organization might certify and then say, cool, we got the stamp of approval and now we’re done.  We don’t have to kind of do this work.  And you and I have had this discussion that it’s a constant process to continue improving and learning.  We as individuals need to constantly improve and learn how we can be better stewards to our community and to our relationships and to the earth, and as a business, it’s the same.  It’s a living, breathing thing, and it can constantly be improving and constantly be in touch with how to better walk out those values.  The B Corp certification changes.  You’ll take a different assessment in three years when you do recertify.  Some things will slightly shift.  They’ll expect you to have made improvements.  When you do recertify, then you’ll be able to say, we’re not sitting on our laurels.  Gold Coast has been doing this work.  We’re working hard towards improving on all of our indicators, and that’s something that we find very meaningful.  That said, it’s an arduous process, and it takes a lot of time and it takes a lot of energy.  I think it’s that much more satisfying when you do get there, but what we’re trying to do also as this B Local — so I put B Local sort of in finger quotes because it is a designation.  It’s not like we almost have our own seal as Local First and Good for Michigan.  We have our own designation as the convener of the Michigan B Corps, and what we’re trying to do with that designation is really provide what we call a community of practice around B Corp.  When we started this relationship with B Lab and with the B Corp community, there were three B Corps in West Michigan, and this was about five years ago, six years ago now.  And we’ve grown to over 20.  So we’ve taken that time — and certainly, I mean, part of this is because the movement has grown and the recognition has grown and the return on the investment of time, then, is growing because more people know what B Corps are and are using that to make their decisions around purchasing.  I also like to think that we had something to do with it.

Kristin:  I would say so.  I mean, that’s how I became passionate about it is talking to your team.

Hanna:  Yeah, and we are hoping that we can connect the B Corps that have taken the time to certify and have put the resources into certification so that there is this community of 20 business owners, in theory, and they have — most of our B Corps in the community have a disaggregated structure of leadership, as well, so they usually have a number of staff that really are integral in the process, and that changes, obviously, depending on the size, and we have different sizes of B Corps in Michigan, as well, but we try to pull those folks together and keep those connections very close so that if you wanted to reach out to somebody at Brewery Vivant, for instance, or Cascade Engineering, or even in Ann Arbor, we have Revalue, which is an interesting organization that we’re doing some work in the Ann Arbor area, and you could call them up or we could make an introduction, and then there is this kind of collaborative spirit around, hey, I’m struggling with this; how have you seen your improvement along these lines?  I don’t know how I’m going to convince, for instance, my office of six people to recycle because it’s just not anybody’s habit; I have no idea how this is going to work.  How do I talk them into it?  How did you talk them into it?  There’s sort of this conversation that happens and this mentorship, collaborative, community of practice spirit that happens in those rooms when the walls come down and everybody’s vulnerable and saying, hey, I’m really struggling with this, or hey, I’d really love to pay my staff a living wage, but I have no idea how I’m going to do it.  Or I’d really love to provide a 401(k) for my staff, but I just don’t know what that’s going to look like.  How do I provide the training for people?  How do I have conversations about appropriate workplace interactions or cultural competency in the workplace or making sure that my staff is being respectful to one another regardless of background, race, religion, sex, et cetera.  How do we have those difficult conversations?  And you, as the newest B Corp, the owner of the newest B Corp in Michigan, you will be invited to our next CEO peer circle, and that is where we sit around the table and we kind of have these lightly-facilitated, completely confidential, very vulnerable conversations around, like, what are we going through as a community of businesses that are intentionally-minded and wanting to, again, really signal those values, and how can we help each other?  That’s been pretty powerful.

Kristin:  I love that!  It’s great to have that support and be able to look at best practices, and you also — even for businesses that aren’t intending to become B Corps, you have a lot of seminars in the area and you can learn about different topics every time, but you had one today that I missed.  Tell us about some of the seminars that you put on that the public would be invited to or Local First members.

Hanna:  Any businesses — if you’re not a Local First member, you don’t have to be to attend those workshops, and they typically cost no more than $15 or $20, so we try to keep them really inexpensive, but today, we actually  had a workshop about how to be having intelligent — let’s see, it was the psychology around intelligent conversations, so we brought in an expert and a local business owner to specializes in this psychology of having difficult conversations in the workplace and interacting with staff and customers in a way that is emotionally intelligent, is making sure that you’re providing what you need to your employees that helps, ideally, keep those employees around, keep them happy, keep them productive and doing their best, bringing their best selves and their full selves to work.  Something that we’re seeing across the board in the business community is a challenge around retention.  Really having a hard time holding on to super talented folks, and it’s one of those sort of double-edged swords, right, because that’s an indicator of low unemployment rate, and obviously, we know that we have some work to do in Grand Rapids around employment in certain communities, but if we set that aside for a moment and say, we really want to just build teams that have a lot of talent, and as a business owner, we want to honor that talent and make sure that it’s being fostered and making sure that it’s being developed, and how to do that is to really be a mindful employer and have conversations with your staff; keep connected; keep creating a culture that they can show up as their full selves to work and bring with them what they need to bring with them and that you’re helping them foster their creativity and foster their loyalty, too, to your company and grow as a person and as an employee.  So that is what the workshop today was about, and then we usually have workshops every month or every other month.  All of this you would find on our website or on our Facebook page, but they are based on, frankly, the conversations we’re having with business owners in the community.  Some of it’s driven by our B Corp businesses that say, hey, we’re seeing these trends, or our Local First membership; hey, we’re seeing these trends or these are the things we’d like to learn about.

Kristin:  We’ve had even tours of facilities, and we’ve had so many different topics.

Hanna:  Thank you, yeah.  We had an electronic recycling.  Valley City Electronics is a B Corp in the community, and they help businesses recycle their electronics, which is not something that a whole lot of people know about, but it’s this really wonderful service that we have here in town, and it’s also a place where you can go and get a used, refurbished laptop if you need to provide that for one of your stuff.  There’s all these ways that they give back to the community, as well, but we use the data that we’re able to drive from the Quick Impact Assessment that we were talking about earlier, that short assessment.  If you’d prefer to keep all of your information to yourself, you do not need to share the data with Local First or Good for Michigan, but if you want to be transparent about your impact, then you can share that with us, and we simply use that as an aggregate data collection so that we can help decide what these workshops are going to look like; where the gaps are; what our community needs in terms of education around these impact areas.  Then we put the series together based on all of those factors.  We’re currently actually working on our 2020 workshop series as we speak.

Kristin:  Can’t wait to hear what you’ve got lined up!  So B Corp, for those who don’t fully understand what it is, the short summary is, profit with a purpose.  So it’s a way for a business like ours to be able to give back without having a nonprofit arm.  Our passion is to help low income women, but we have to charge a living wage and cannot necessarily serve them as doulas, so we do a lot of community education, volunteering, giving money financially to organizations that support low-income women and families.  Our diaper drive would be an example of that.  So how would you, for those of our listeners and clients who have no idea what a B Corp is and why Gold Coast should be interested, can you help me fill them in?

Hanna:  Absolutely.  You know, I think those examples about Gold Coast sort of signaling — again, back to that signaling of values as a business.  These are things that we’re seeing are really helping businesses grow their customer base.  I mean, frankly, at the end of the day, a for-profit business needs to make money in order to exist.  And the argument that we would present as an organization that advocates for B Corp certification is that walking out your values and really putting intentional effort towards not only documenting what you’re doing as a business but also verifying, having this third-party verified signal of, we’re doing this work – there is a return on that investment.  There is financial growth and sustainability in that model, and we believe that B Corp is the most holistic measurement, the most holistic certification, out there that shows that not only are you as a business being a good steward to the environment, but you’re also treating your employees well, and you’re also giving back to the community.  The standards are high.  As a B Corp — as a consumer that maybe hasn’t heard of B Corp or as a consumer that is looking at all of the potential choices that I have when spending my money, regardless of whether o not I have very little or if I have a huge amount of money to spend, we make a decision every time we spend money.  When I have additional information around, oh, this business is B Corp — that means to me that I’m spending my money in a place that matters, and that money is going to go back to my local community, or that money is going to go to help families and low-income women.  That’s something that I’m very passionate about personally, and that’s how I’m going to vote with my dollar is I’m going to use my resources to push money into doing good in the world.  This is something that, if you see the B Corp Certified seal on a business — for instance, when you go to your local grocery store and you see 7th Generation or Method, those are — like if you were going to be buying laundry detergent or something — you’ll see on the back that there’s a B Corp seal, and that’s something where you can think, okay, I’m buying a $10 jug of laundry detergent, but I know that there are certain environment standards around their brand, and their employees are being treated a certain kind of a way.  Or a clothing brand; I know that whatever manufacturing standards this clothing brand is using, I can feel good about where this came from.

Kristin:  Yeah, their sourcing is obviously good.

Hanna:  Yeah, and again, the standards and the assessment itself generates based on what type of business it is, but you can be sure that that business has gone through something very vigorous and has jumped through a lot of hoops to maintain that certification, so it’s just a way to know that you’re making an impact with the money that you’re spending, and that’s something that resonates with me.  I think that’s something that resonates with a growing number of consumers and business owners, because as a business owner, you also consume from other businesses.  So to have that shared value statement, I think is really important.

Kristin:  And certainly many of our clients are millennials, and I feel like millennials want to give their money to companies that are giving back and have a purpose and meaning beyond just your standard profit focus.

Hanna:  Yeah.  Again, a huge piece of what economic development is all about, and as an employee of Local First, I can say that local development and local economic development is something that’s important to us, and equitable economic development is something that’s really paramount to us.  You’re right; the consumer statistics support what we’re saying, what you’re saying.  Millennials and people who are coming up into wealth and coming into influence are making their decisions based on a lot of the values alignment.  You’ll see that when you click on the news and there’s some sort of boycott here or there, or this business CEO makes a decision that negatively impacts their workers or the environment, and there’s a reaction to that in terms of their customer base.  And so you’ll see that, regardless of where your personal values lie; you’ll see that decisions are being made based on those values of the business, and I think that’s happening more now.  The statistics are supporting that that’s happening more now than it has in the past, so it’s becoming very valuable from a financial sustainability standpoint for businesses to signal those values and to put as much intentionality around how they’re showing up in the community and in the world as they possibly can.

Kristin:  Right.  And as far as our industry, we are the first birth-related business.  We’re not a retail space; we don’t manufacture anything.  We’re service, and the process was unique for us because we don’t have employees.  We have subcontractors who are business owners of their own, so that part, too, was how do we really focus on being good for employees when we have two owners, my business partner Alyssa and myself, and then subcontractors?  But we are good for them; we give them opportunities; we’ve done disability trainings that are optional for our team, as well as PRIDE has come in and did an LGBTQI training for us, and we’ve done Empathy with Healthcare Professionals through Mothership, so we’ve tried to use that overarching philosophy even though we don’t, at this point, have employees.  Someday, I’m sure we will.

Hanna:  And I think, too, because this movement — B Lab, the nonprofit that certifies B Corps, has been around for twelve years, I think, roughly, and the movement is growing, and it’s grown very quickly.  But that doesn’t mean that they don’t encounter new business models.  They’re out there working with them every day, so the cool thing about the assessment, the B Impact Assessment, is that it is always evolving.  Even another layer of connection between Local First and Good for Michigan and B Lab is that, because we are that Be Local community for the state of Michigan — so B Lab is a global organization.  B Corporation certification is a global movement.  It’s not just North America; it’s not just the United States.  It’s everywhere, which is wild to think about, and it’s wonderful to think the movement is that large, but as a Be Local in the state of Michigan, we do have a relationship with the folks that are helping to curate the assessment and how it evolves in North America, specifically, because a lot of the policies are based on the continent and based on place.  So it does change in different areas, but we get to have conversations around what’s relevant here in our place.  Culturally, what’s relevant in the United States, and we help inform how the assessment evolves a bit.  So I expect that based on your experience with B Lab and how things went and how you had to work around the uniqueness of your model while also being very adamant in saying, this is something that really matters to Gold Coast and we want to make this work — having had that interaction will help them and help inform them on how to update the process around unique models like yours.  There are very few healthcare-related B Corps, and as you can imagine because of the environmental impact of healthcare organizations and because of just the size of many of them and the uniqueness of the structure, it’s not an easy model.  We’ve also had very few in the country.  When I say we have very few, I mean in the country, in the United States.  There are also very few banks for a similar reason.  Very few banks are “locally owned,” and so those large national chain banks, the power is so disaggregated that it’s difficult to track all that data.  So that kind of brings you back to those local businesses.  They tend to have an easier time certifying as a B Corp just because of the way the decisions are made.  That doesn’t mean that a chain couldn’t become a B Corp.  Patagonia, for instance, is huge.  You’re probably familiar with the brand Patagonia.  Ben & Jerry’s, for instance.  Both those huge brands are B Corps and have been for a long time, so you see — I can’t even imagine how difficult that certification is, right?  But they put a lot of resources into it.  It’s something that’s very valuable to them.  It signals their brand identity.  For an outdoor apparel company that sort of has that hipster vibe and it’s a little bit more high end, it kind of signals this, which makes sense.  But then there’s the ice cream brand, too, and that’s something that anybody would grab off a shelf, and it doesn’t matter if I like hiking or if I prefer to Netflix and chill; whatever it is, but that’s a choice I’m making that I’m going to buy this ice cream instead of something generic coming from who knows who, what cows and whatever.  The idea that the assessment is ever-changing and it’s always signaling to the community what’s relevant to that community and to our place is really important, I think.

Kristin:  If people are interested in learning more, where should they go?

Hanna:  The best place to get started is to head to our website or follow Good for Michigan on Instagram or Facebook.  That’s going to connect you to our staff, and if you’re interested in taking the assessment, you can find it right there in the homepage for your business.  It’s totally free and totally confidential.  Or you can reach out to one of our staff and we can have a conversation with you a little bit more about what starting down the path would look like for your business.  It can be as simple as just having a conversation, taking that Quick Impact Assessment and then stopping there, or moving all the way through to B Corp certification like Gold Coast has and 22 of our other good friends here in the community.

Kristin:  Last year, I accidentally took the full B Corp assessment, thinking I was taking the Quick Impact, but that really helped me think about the process for this year.  Thanks for coming on!  We’ll have to chat again as we get further along in the process.  I know there’s a big retreat that you don’t even need to be a B Corp business to attend — the B Corp Conference?  Tell us about that!

Hanna:  B Lab puts together a conference every year they call the Champion’s Retreat, and there are a couple different tracts of the retreat.  There’s the tract that’s just for B Corp certified businesses.  There’s a tract for Be Local communities, like ours, and then I believe there is a new tract around prospecting B Corps or businesses interested in learning more about the process and how it could be beneficial to them.  This year, it’s in Los Angeles.  Last year, it was in Louisiana.  The year before that, it was in Toronto.  It was in New Orleans, and then in Toronto.  So it bops around all over the place.

Kristin:  To warmer clients so Michiganders can get out somewhere with sunshine like LA!

Hanna:  Yeah!  I’m looking forward to it.  I will be there and a few of our local B Corp CEOs and leaders will be there.  It’s not an inexpensive thing to attend, but we will be able to go and we’ll be bringing back some learning from that and hopefully be plugging it into our programming for next year, and we’re excited to be able to continue doing the work.  It’s a privilege to be able to get to work with businesses like yours and like the other businesses that are taking time out of their busy days and their passion to sort of give back and use their business as a force for good.  It’s a tagline that we like to use because we believe that business can be used as a force for good.  We’ve seen it.  We know there are folks like you that are out there doing it, and we’d really like to hold up those businesses as an example and help others follow in their footsteps.

Kristin:  Thanks for joining us today, Hanna!

 

What is a B Corp? Podcast Episode #86 Read More »