babies | Gold Coast Doulas

Podcast Episode #62: Newborn Traumas

Ask The Doulas Podcast / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, chiropractic care, colic, gold coast doulas, postpartum, postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression, postpartum recovery, pregnancy, pregnancy podcast, pregnant

What is birth trauma and do all babies experience it? How can you remedy it? Dr. Annie and Dr. Rachel of Rise Wellness Chiropractic give us several examples of common birth traumas, what they mean, and how chiropractic care can help. You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or SoundCloud.

Kristin: Welcome to Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas. This is Kristin, and I’m here with my business partner, Alyssa.

Alyssa: Hello!

Kristin: And we have Dr. Annie from Rise Wellness, as well as Dr. Rachel. Today we are talking about birth trauma with babies and how a chiropractor can help them, especially since you have a focus on newborns. So, Annie, tell us some different ways that you can help parents.

Dr. Annie: Sure. Well, first, I want to talk about what birth trauma means. It’s not necessarily that all births are categorized as traumatic births, but let’s say there is a lot of pressure on the mom and the baby while the natural birth process is happening. So even with a natural birth, there can still be some things that show up in little kiddos after. But if there is any sort of birth trauma, if Mom has to get an epidural, that can affect the baby. If there are risks of C-section, stuff like that, any of those red flags that are happening during labor, that can all lead to birth trauma, too.

Dr. Rachel: You’re probably wondering why an epidural would even effect the baby and create more of a birth trauma. What happens is when Mom gets an epidural, you can’t feel from the waist down, so we can’t feel when we’re supposed to push. So what happens is that the baby’s head puts more pressure on the cervix that you can’t feel, and it can cause some birth injury in the cervical spine. Minor, but it can still have effects later on.

Dr. Annie: Yes. And then they’re also more likely to need intervention at birth, too, so whether that’s help pulling the baby out by the head and neck or if that’s use of forceps or vacuum-assisted. And all of those put a lot of pressure on the upper cervical spine of the baby, where the neck is, and your spinal cord goes through that area. So that’s what we find in kiddos, even after a natural birth process, but especially in those instances where there’s been a lot of intervention. We see a lot of upper cervical misalignment that affects the nervous system. And so what we want is to take care of is correcting that misalignment so that they can develop the way that they’re supposed so that their bodies work. A lot of people think of brachial plexus injuries in kids, when the shoulder gets stuck and there’s traction on the brachial plexus, but if there’s enough traction there to injure those nerves in the arm, there’s enough pressure just in a natural birth that can affect the whole nervous system through the neck.

Kristin: We find with breastfeeding there can be some issues with the latch or a baby preferring one side to the other, and that could be, obviously, remedied by chiropractor care. Maybe something happened during birth where they’re just having some issues with their neck and alignment and so on.

Dr. Rachel: Yeah, that’s super common. We see that. That’s one of the first signs that there could have been upper cervical misalignment is if a baby prefers one side or one breast when they’re breastfeeding or if they have latching difficulty because that all has to do with how they can turn their head, how the muscles in their face are working, what position their jaw is in. So we see that a lot, and when we do home visits, that’s often for a baby who’s head is turned to one side, and then we can correct that with a simple gentle adjustment, and then it’s amazing. They breastfeed like a champ after that.

Dr. Annie: I would say a big one, too, right now is the torticollis and the flat head. I would say that’s later; you see that later, but it probably started with favoring nursing or with latching difficulty that didn’t get corrected. They’re favoring, so they always want to turn to one side. And then they hyper-develop those muscles on that side, and then just further down the road, it becomes harder and harder to correct.

Dr. Rachel: That’s why we always say it’s good to get your babies checked.

Alyssa: Maybe that’s why I’m so lumpy on this side!

Dr. Rachel: It’s probably your parents’ fault! I blame everything on my parents!

Alyssa: I had no idea!

Dr. Rachel: It all started with the birth!

Kristin: And then, certainly, babies that are colicky or have other issues at birth can be helped by chiropractor care. That’s an easy fix?

Dr. Annie: Yeah. And we’ll say this, just so people don’t think we’re crazy. There was a study done by an MD, Gutman, and he found spinal injury present in 80% of infants examined shortly after birth.

Dr. Rachel: Out of a thousand births.

Dr. Annie: Yeah. Causing interference to neurological and immune function. So like I said, even just the natural birth process. I mean, think about it. If they’re pulling — what is it, 60 to 90 pounds of axial pressure, they say? So even a natural delivery. And just the whole process of babies going through. The uterus contracting; that’s going to cause some sort of distress on that spine.

Dr. Rachel: And we see that. I mean, we see other things, too, in kiddos who ended up C-section. Because they don’t go through the vaginal canal, they don’t get that compression, and so when they’re pulled out of the abdomen, they have a lot of those issues, too, but then their lungs aren’t cleared of fluid and stuff, so then they’re more likely to have allergies and asthma and stuff like that, too, because of those things never getting corrected.

Kristin: So can you explain to our listeners what an adjustment for a newborn is like so they can rest assured that it’s very gentle?

Dr. Rachel: Yes. So the ICPA says you’re going to use the same amount of pressure that you would use to check the ripeness of a tomato. So it is so gentle. If you push your finger on your eyelid, the amount of pressure that you can just feel — that’s how much pressure we’re using to adjust a newborn, especially.

Dr. Annie: We’re using our pinkies. There’s no instrument; there’s no twisting, cracking, popping.

Kristin: And I think that’s what people imagine is the cracking. So it’s not like that? And the fact that you do home visits is amazing, so people can come to your office here in East Town, and for certain cases with newborns, you’ll go to their homes. That’s so wonderful!

Dr. Annie: We do that with most of the moms that we’ve seen throughout their pregnancy. As soon as their baby is born, they call us up and ask us to come over to their house and check the baby, please.

Kristin: And do you also adjust the mom when you do these home visits?

Dr. Rachel: We usually do. I think almost every time. And sometimes Dad, if Dad’s home.

Dr. Annie: Yeah, exactly. I mean, it’s important for the whole family. Birth is stressful! It’s stressful on everybody. It’s stressful on the mom’s spinal mechanics and on her body, but emotionally stressful on both parents, too.

Dr. Rachel: And on your body. We see doulas after the birth!

Kristin: You are so helpful to me after a birth because we have some recovery, as well, especially if it’s a physical birth, or even if it’s not as physical and my client’s sleeping with an epidural and I’m trying to get rest in a waiting room and kind of shoving myself into these strange positions on a chair to sleep. I definitely recover faster and my immune system is much stronger as a result of chiropractic care, so I appreciate you both! Thank you for explaining some of the remedies for different newborn traumas they experience. How can we find you?

Dr. Annie: You can find us on our website. Or you can find us on Facebook and Instagram. Both are @risewellnesschiro. It’s probably the best way to find us and get in contact with us.

Kristin: You’re still accepting new patients, correct?

Dr. Annie: Yep!

Kristin: Awesome.

Dr. Annie: Oh, yeah, we’ll take all the babies!

Kristin: Thank you so much for chatting with us, Dr. Annie and Dr. Rachel, and we will see you next time!

Dr. Annie: Thanks for having us!

Podcast Episode #62: Newborn Traumas Read More »

Response to Article About Illinois Doula That Suppored an Unassisted Homebirth

Birth, Doulas / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth doula, birth story, birth support, childbirth, gold coast doulas, labor and delivery, pregnancy

There has been a lot of talk in the birth community lately about the recent case of the doula who pled guilty after attending an unassisted homebirth where the baby died. Our team is saddened for the family and for the doula community as a whole. Birth doulas do not take on a medical role, period. We offer emotional, physical, and informational support. Nothing more, nothing less.

Gold Coast Doulas works hard to maintain firm boundaries with clients. We never attend unassisted births. If we are supporting a homebirth before a midwife makes it, or are at the client’s home before heading to the hospital, our clients know we will not “catch the baby”. Our clients are informed at the prenatal that we will call 9-1-1 and will follow instructions. We don’t even try to read the monitor at the hospital. We aren’t trained to do that.

We carry professional liability insurance for the agency and we stay within our scope of practice. We are not trained to deliver babies or to offer medical advice to the birthing parent. We are your support team not a nurse, doctor, or midwife. We have so much respect for medical providers and the work they do; we would never assume we are able to diagnose or take on a medical role. We love working as a team with other care providers during labor and delivery.

The doula who was convicted in this case presented herself as a certified birth doula and a certified Bradley Method instructor. She does not hold either of those certifications. You can trust that our certified doulas maintain their certifications including CPR and AED. We are always focused on continuing education and growing our skills as birth doulas. We wear name tags with our credentials on them during births and meetings so medical professionals know who we are. Our pre-certified doulas have two years to complete certification requirements or they need to leave our team. Professionalism matters to us and it matters to our clients.

Most doula trainings range from two to four days in length and take up to 2 years to complete. Doulas have readings, essays, an exam, and client and medical provider evaluations as part of their certification requirements. Many birth doulas also take a full breastfeeding class and a childbirth class. Not all doulas who practice in the community choose to certify or have even attended a formal training. At Gold Coast Doulas we know training and certification matter and allow us to better support our clients with experience and professionalism.

What we will promise our clients is that we will be honest and trustworthy. We will always work within our scope of practice. We will refer medical questions to medical providers. Gold Coast Doulas will support you without judgment through your pregnancy, birth, and immediately postpartum. You can count on us to do the right thing because it matters and so do you.

Response to Article About Illinois Doula That Suppored an Unassisted Homebirth Read More »

Podcast Episode #61: Postpartum Wellness

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Postpartum, Pregnancy, Self-Care / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, gold coast doulas, postpartum, postpartum doulas, postpartum recovery, pregnancy, pregnancy podcast, pregnant, sleep deprivation

Dr. Erica of Root Functional Medicine gives moms some tips about staying healthy through pregnancy and into the postpartum period. We also talk about her upcoming Postpartum Wellness class on March 7. You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or SoundCloud.

This podcast episode is sponsored by LifeFuel, providing healthy meal delivery in West Michigan. We love partnering with LifeFuel!

Alyssa: Hello! Welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas. I am Alyssa Veneklase, co-owner of Gold Coast Doulas, and today I’m talking to Dr. Erica Armstrong of Root Functional Medicine. Hello, Dr. Erica! Welcome.

Dr. Erica: Hello, thank you for having me!

Alyssa: My business partner, Kristin, has been talking to you, but I want to know a little bit about Root Functional Medicine, and then we will talk about an event that we’re going to have together here in our space. So tell me a little bit about what you do.

Dr. Erica: So I am a functional medicine doctor. My background was in family medicine for several years before I went through functional medicine training, and Kelsey, our dietician, and I created a specialty practice in functional medicine, the first of its kind in West Michigan, and we partner up to help patients really get to the root cause of why they’re not feeling well. That’s kind of the basis of functional medicine; we look at people in a holistic sense and try to solve problems at the root, and a lot of the time, we do need to make nutritional changes, and so it just made perfect sense to partner up with a dietician to do that.

Alyssa: So explain to me what a functional medicine doctor does versus a regular medical doctor. How would you, in very simple terms, explain what functional medicine is?

Dr. Erica: Sure, I would say there’s not a simple explanation other than it’s a different model of healthcare entirely. Functional medicine isn’t the symptom, one diagnosis, one treatment, the typical path that gets rushed through. It really is stepping back, looking at the entire picture since birth and even before birth of a patient because they’re not just a snapshot in time. We look at their genetics. We look at their microbiome. We look at their nutrition and lifestyle and really plot everything on something called a functional medicine matrix, and we try to balance the imbalances. And then we look at lab testing that’s simply not available in traditional labs to see how the body is actually functioning, and with that information, we can be much more preventative and not only help people stay away from disease but actually help them feel well.

Alyssa: Yeah, I think of it as — you know how you go to a doctor within one medical system, and then you go to another one, and you’re answering the same questions all the time, but nobody seems to be talking together. And functional medicine is like having all those specialties together talking to one another, so the heart specialist isn’t just looking at your heart. The heart specialist should also be asking about nutrition and diet. You know, it’s not just all these segmented pieces.

Dr. Erica: Yeah, that’s absolutely right. In traditional healthcare, we tend to silo things, but yes, if you have a heart issue, it doesn’t stop there. There are other things that we need to look at, so it’s really putting the big picture together.

Alyssa: So you and Kelsey — she does the dietician part of it? We should have her on sometime, too, because I love talking about diet and sleep since I do sleep consults and food, especially for little ones. Do you see children, as well?

Dr. Erica: We do, yeah. We can see all ages, and I do a lot of nutrition, too. Just in functional medicine training, a vast majority of that is nutrition, but Kelsey does help a lot with specific diets and troubleshooting, and she has a lot of nutrition knowledge that she shares with patients, too.

Alyssa: Let’s talk about this event and tell people what it is that you do to help pregnant women and what they can look forward to if they come to this event.

Dr. Erica: Yeah, so even before pregnancy, really optimizing wellness and things like just trying to make sure they’re eating balanced, healthy meals is important, and then things to look out for in the postpartum period where we’re often sleep deprived and have higher cortisol levels and how to navigate and troubleshoot those areas, how to plan ahead for that.

Alyssa: So this event we’re having is on March 7th from 6:30 to 8:00 PM and it’s going to be here in our office in the Kingsley Building. Seating is limited because our office can only hold so many people. It’s $35.00 per person, and we’re going to create a link and post it on Facebook and put it on our website. Are we calling it How to Set Yourself Up for Success in the Postpartum Period?

Dr. Erica: Yes!

Alyssa: So we’re going to talk about good foods during pregnancy, what to watch out for, sleep deprivation and cortisol, like you just mentioned, tips for dealing with that, and then how to evaluate adrenals and thyroid, which I know is a common question for a lot of women, pregnant or not.

Dr. Erica: Yes, we end up seeing a lot of thyroid disease coming after pregnancy, for a variety of reasons. So how to test for that and assess it from a functional standpoint.

Alyssa: And then we have — and you might need to help me with this; talk about some adaptogens in food? What is that?

Dr. Erica: So adaptogens just means that it helps your body adapt to situations, so certain things like mushrooms or ashwagandha, those are called adaptogens. So if people are having a lot of high cortisol levels, actually eating that food helps because food can talk to your genes and tell your genes to turn on or off and produce more or less cortisol. That’s a very scientific answer, sorry!

Alyssa: No, I get it! And then the last thing I have on here, “some supportive things to do such as basic ideas that can be forgotten during the postpartum period.” What do you mean by that?

Dr. Erica: So even just remembering to continue your prenatal vitamins. Things can get so out of routine with a newborn baby that you forget to do simple things that can help you feel well. We end up seeing a lot of nutritional deficiencies just after giving birth, especially vitamin D. There’s a lot of vitamin D deficiency in general in West Michigan, but if you’re breastfeeding, you’re at more risk for that. And then magnesium deficiency, which many of us are deficient in. So just those two simple vitamins, we can test those levels, and people end up feeling a lot better when we replace those.

Alyssa: So who would you say should come to this event? Women who are pregnant, trying to conceive, postpartum, all of the above?

Dr. Erica: I think all of the above, for sure, because we’re going to talk about a lot of general health tips, as well, as focusing on the postpartum period.

Alyssa: Okay! So again the event is called How to Set Yourself Up for Success in the Postpartum Period, but even if you’re pregnant, I always tell people to plan ahead. So it’s good to learn this stuff so that you’re not in the midst of all this chaos with a newborn at home, and going, oh, shoot. If you know this stuff, you can plan ahead. And again, that’s going to be on March 7th from 6:30 to 8:00 PM, so if you’re interested, you can go to our contact form and let us know you’re interested in the event. I would still like to know a little bit more about your practice. Where are you located?

Dr. Erica: We’re located in downtown Grand Rapids, and we mainly see people in person, but we can also see people virtually throughout the state of Michigan via telemedicine, and some people will drive in for the first visit and then follow up virtually, as well. We have different packages on our website. You can either work with Kelsey in nutrition package or with me in functional medicine or with both of us in what we call the Get to the Root package in where we work together for at least three months and really help get to the root cause of feeling better.

Alyssa: I love that you can do it virtually, especially for postpartum moms!

Dr. Erica: Yes, it makes a lot of sense not to have to lug the baby in!

Alyssa: Yeah, it’s the last thing you want to do! You’re in your yoga pants; you don’t want to have to drive downtown and probably run in to somebody that you know with no makeup on and all that stuff. It’s just a lot easier, especially if you have a newborn and toddlers at home to not have to leave.

Dr. Erica: Yeah, and we can attach all the food plans and wellness plans right to the patient portal.

Alyssa: That’s really convenient! Well, if anyone is interested in getting ahold of you, what’s the easiest way?

Dr. Erica: There’s a contact form right on our website. And we’d be happy to answer your questions. We’re also on Instagram and Facebook as Root Functional Medicine, and we post most of our updates there.

Alyssa: And we’ll share the Facebook event, as well. Again, it’s How to Set Yourself Up for Success in the Postpartum Period and it will be on March 7th from 6:30 to 8:00 PM here at the Gold Coast Doulas office. Well, thank you, Dr. Erica! Thanks for joining us!

Dr. Erica: Thank you!

Alyssa: And tell Kelsey we’ll have her on sometime, too.

Dr. Erica: Sounds good!

Podcast Episode #61: Postpartum Wellness Read More »

How ZENBands Became a Part of Pregnancy

HypnoBirthing / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, gold coast doulas, guided meditation, Hypnobirthing, postpartum, postpartum recovery, pregnancy, pregnant, self-hypnosis

Gold Coast Doulas is pleased to announce a guest blog by Dr. Erin Stair on her headbands that are perfect for listening to HypnoBirthing scripts or childbirth playlists. I use them for listening to podcasts like “Ask the Doulas” with Gold Coast Doulas on Soundcloud and Itunes.

Erin is the creator of ZENBands, ZENTones, author of Manic Kingdom, and the founder of bloomingwellness.com. She writes all of the blogs at blooming wellness and interviews all of the guests, with the hopes of building an intersection between science and wellness. She is a graduate of West Point, where she was recruited to play soccer, and after the Army, went on to medical school, earned her medical degree, and then received the Global Health Leadership scholarship from New York University, which she used to earn her Masters of Public Health. She has a keen interest in population-level interventions for stress, depression, obesity, anxiety, and disease reduction in general, and for the last several years, has served as the chief of research for an international digital health company. She lives in New York City and is always working on her next book.

I’ve always been very interested in noninvasive, natural anxiety-reducing techniques and how effective they are during stressful times. My interest led me into the world of sound therapy, particularly binaural beats, or what some call phantom beats. Many people listen to binaural beats to help reduce stress, anxiety, induce sleep and boost mood. The scientific body of evidence for binaural beats isn’t robust, but there is no shortage of anecdotal evidence, and I’m betting this will be a hotbed for future research. After talking to a few scientists and sound engineers, I began designing my own binaural arrangements ( ZENTones) including arranging different frequencies of sounds with sequences of tones. I held several focus groups during which volunteers, mainly veterans with PTSD, listened to the arrangements of sounds to see if various ones improved sleep quality, reduced anxiety or boosted mood. Many folks listened while lying down and a recurring theme in feedback sessions was that their headphones or earbuds were uncomfortable. Their ears hurt after lying down, and the headphones/earbuds were painful or too heavy. Their feedback was my inspiration for creating the ZENBand.

I wanted to create something simple, lightweight, eco-friendly, and portable that would help make listening to the ZENTones more comfortable. I also wanted to include tenets of color therapy in our design, since color significantly impacts mood. Hence, the ZENBand , a headband and speakers combo, was born. We use cotton for the bands for two reasons: Cotton is lightweight, and unlike many artificially-designed cooling fabrics, polyester and fleece, cotton does not contain microplastics. There are flat, lightweight, custom-made pillow speakers inside the band that can be removed and easily plug into phones, laptops or MP3 players. They truly feel like cushions for the ears. We also get them made in a variety of colors, so folks can find one that suits their mood. The speakers are purposely not noise-canceling, as we want people to be able to hear others around them, especially since a lot of folks wear them at night. You still want the ability to hear noises, alarms, kids crying or dogs barking. Furthermore, ZENBands can also act as eye masks to help keep out ambient light and reduce anxiety. Light can aggravate anxiety and stress. Based on feedback, the next version coming out this Spring will be a little wider, to make it easier to pull the ZENBand over the eyes and optimize the relaxation response.

While most of our customers used the ZENTones and ZENBand for anxiety, travel, or sleep, one time I received a message from a woman who was pregnant and close to giving birth. She asked if I could expedite shipping, because she planned on wearing the ZENBand for hypnosis during labor. I wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but after receiving several more orders with a similar request, I started researching relaxation techniques for pregnant women. They included deep breathing exercises, pregnancy cards, prenatal yoga, positive affirmations, guided meditations and hypnosis. I even talked to Ob/Gyn doctors and midwives who mentioned noticing reduced anxiety and fear levels in women in labor who used one of the aforementioned anxiety reducing technique during pregnancy.

That was a few years back and now we get orders from pregnant women all over the world. We work with a lot of birth professionals and birth centers. Women have sent us photos of them in labor, wearing their ZENBands, and it’s pretty awesome. We love being part of the birth process, even if it’s just a tiny part in making women more comfortable. A lot of women write us and tell us that they love that the ZENBand allows them to listen to their relaxation scripts or birthing music while also keeping their hair and sweat out of their eyes. I should note that the ZENBand is not Bluetooth, as we feel more comfortable with reducing EMF exposure so close to one’s head, and we want to make sure that people always have access to their sounds/affirmations when they need them most. Bluetooth doesn’t always work well in every location, including hospital rooms. Also, phones can be a big distraction when it comes to relaxing. Phones can be a huge source of anxiety and listening sessions can be interrupted with incoming calls or the impulse to jump on Social Media or check your messages. To help eliminate those impulses, reduce anxiety and enhance relaxation, we recommend using the ZENBand with an old-fashioned Mp-3 player. It can be pleasantly refreshing and a much needed break from our phones.

To check out ZENBands and ZENTones, please visit us at bloomingwellness.com. As a token of our appreciation, please use code ZEN for a first-time customer discount.

Erin Stair, MD, MPH, founder of Bloomingwellness.com

*Note: Gold Coast was not compensated for promoting this product. It is one we personally use and recommend.

How ZENBands Became a Part of Pregnancy Read More »

Two babies holding hands while being held by their parents

Doula Support for Adoptive Families

Birth, Breastfeeding, Doulas, Parenting, Pregnancy, Sleep / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, babycare class, babywearing, birth doula, birth support, bottle feeding, breastfeeding, gold coast doulas, grandparents, lactation, multiples, newborn care, newborn sleep, parenting class, postpartum doulas, triplets, twins

Most parents probably don’t think about hiring a doula if they aren’t pregnant. They think of a birth doula only supporting a laboring mother, but that couldn’t be farther from reality. Birth doulas can support any parent. Postpartum doulas can support adoptive families by helping them to prepare for baby’s arrival and in-home after baby arrives. There are so many ways doulas can support families that are adopting!

At Gold Coast we are focused on educating parents. We offer several prenatal and postnatal classes to help new parents navigate this new territory. We offer a Newborn Survival class that goes over essentials of surviving those first few weeks and months home with your baby. Real life scenarios and raw topics are discussed to help parents feel confident in their roles.

We also offer a Prenatal Stress class. This is designed for any parent, pregnant or adopting, to understand the affects that stress has on a developing child’s brain, not just throughout pregnancy but through their growing years as well.

Infant Massage is a great way for adoptive parents to bond with a new baby. Our instructor offers classes as well as private in-home instruction. Another great way to bond is babywearing. We have a certified babywearing expert that does in-home instruction and can show you how to safely use your carrier(s).

For parents that might be bringing multiples home (twins or even triplets) we offer a Preparing for Multiples class, and we have a postpartum doula that is a mother of twins herself. Her in-home support, expertise, tips, and tricks are invaluable!

If grandparents will be primary care givers, we offer a class called The Modern Grandparent that updates them on the latest safety information as well as informs them about today’s parent and how parenting styles differ from generations past.

Our lactation consultant can help adoptive mothers induce lactation and can also offer advice about chest feeding.

At Gold Coast, our postpartum doulas are available day and night. Daytime support includes help with baby bonding, newborn care, help with older siblings, meal prep, and evidence based resources. Your postpartum doula is your trusted guide for anything baby related. Overnight support allows parents to get a full nights rest while the doula takes care of the baby through the night. The doula will feed the baby, burp, change diapers, etc allowing the parent(s) to get as much rest as possible knowing there is an experienced professional caring for their child.

A postpartum doula is an amazing gift idea for baby showers! We can create a custom insert for your shower invitations and you can also register online for any of our services at EcoBuns Baby + Co online.

We also offer Gentle Sleep Consultations. Sleep is critical for adults and babies. Babies needs proper sleep for brain development and physiological growth. Parents need sleep to help manage the day to day obstacles of parenthood as well as for basic health and wellness.

We also have doulas specially trained in grief that can help you through loss.

Some of the trusted resources we suggest to families are:

Kelly Mom https://kellymom.com/category/parenting/ Athough there is alot of information about breastfeeding on this site, there are some relevant parenting and adoptive parenting tips as well.

This link features several apps our clients like. http://redtri.com/apps-every-new-parent-needs/slide/3

The Baby Connect Tracker App is also popular with our clients. https://www.baby-connect.com

At Gold Coast Doulas, we pride ourselves on being the premier doula agency in West Michigan. We offer judgment-free support to all families regardless of their parenting styles. We are here for your family, wherever you are in your journey.

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Sleeping Through the Holidays

Sleep / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, baby sleeping advice, baby sleeping tips, doulas, gentle sleep, grandparents, how to get a newborn to sleep, how to make a baby sleep, newborn care, newborn sleep, postpartum doulas, sleep consultant, sleep training, sleeping and babies, sleeping and newborns

Right when you get your child on a good schedule something inevitably comes up that makes it difficult to stay on track. We just went through the dreaded daylight savings (the worst for adults too!). Right now we are in the midst of the holidays. Here are some sleep tips for keeping your children’s sleep schedules on track.

If you’re traveling and driving, try to time the car rides over nap times. For instance, if you have a three hour drive and you know little Johnny takes his afternoon nap from 12:30 – 2:30, hit the road at noon and do some singing or stimulate him for a while until he gets drowsy and falls asleep. Then when you are almost there, he should wake up!

If you are flying, naps can be tricky. If you have a baby, holding the baby to sleep usually works. But if you have an 18 month old, you might have to prepare yourself for a no nap situation that day. In this instance, be sure to get them down to bed a bit early that night.

What if you’re traveling somewhere with a time change? Ugh..every parent dreads this no matter the age of your child. If you’re only going for a couple days, keep the child on their normal schedule. That means if they go to bed at 7pm and there’s a 2 hour difference, you put them to bed at 5pm. I know this messes up party plans but you’ll have to think ahead. Bring a pack and play for your baby or a blow up mattress for your older child and put them to bed in a dark room with a sound machine at their normal bed time.

If you’re traveling and staying for an extended period of time, slowly move their bedtime back in 30 minute increments until they’re at a more reasonable bedtime. Then before you leave to go back home, move that bedtime back to the normal time slowly. If you wait to move the bedtime back until you’re home, just know that you’ll have 2-3 days of adjusting to deal with.

If you’re hosting a party in the afternoon during a normal nap time, let everyone know that your child will be sleeping. Don’t let them stay up just because Grandma wants to cuddle. They will have to wait until your child wakes up. During a party, that sound machine may need to be turned up a bit louder than normal.

Remember that sleep is a priority and stand firm when a friend or relative says, “Oh, just let him stay up.” Easy for them to say!

Happy Holidays and Happy Napping!

For a customized sleep plan for your family’s travel plans, contact me today!

Alyssa is a Certified Postpartum Doula, Newborn Care Specialist, and Gentle Sleep Consultant.

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7 Things You Didn’t Know About Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, breastfeeding, breastfeeding consultant, breastmilk, lactation, lactation consultant, nursing, pumping

Today’s guest blog is written by Natalie Michele of Maternity At Home.

As soon as you start to breastfeed, most of the women you meet on a daily basis, including your mom, friends, and even acquaintances, will have one or two things to tell you about what to do when nursing a baby. Some will tell you that eating cabbage will work wonders for you while others will advise you on when to start expressing milk by use of a breast pump. However, there is a whole lot of information that is left out. Here are some of the things you probably didn’t know about nursing a baby:

1. Your Diet Does Not Define You

Naturally, your body will make quality and healthy milk for your baby. Adopting a healthy diet while breastfeeding is not about producing “healthy milk” but is more about making sure your body maintains both its health and energy. Therefore, there is no need for you to agonize over not eating like a dietician.

If you have chosen to eat two Oreos instead of a plate full of veggies, don’t get depressed or suddenly think you aren’t going to produce the very best milk for your baby. You can always fill the nutritional gap by simply taking a prenatal vitamin. These vitamins are often loaded with iron, calcium, and vitamin D.

2. Expect Increased Cramps

Oxytocin, the same hormone that is responsible for milk letdown is also the culprit for increased cramps. This hormone causes your uterine wall to shrink and as a result, triggers contractions from the uterus.

As annoying and uncomfortable as these cramps may be, it is a good sign; it shows that your body is healing well. Some researchers believe the pain increases with subsequent pregnancies; this is because the uterine wall stretches a little bit more every time you have a baby.

3. Leaky Breasts

You can blame this on the same hormone, oxytocin. A single thought about your little one, talking about him or her, or hearing another baby cry will often trigger your body to release oxytocin and most likely a little bit of breastmilk along with it.

This could be embarrassing more so when it happens when you are out with friends, at work, or even on the streets. However, this should not worry you. It happens to each and every mom who is nursing a baby. To sop up the milk leakage, you could buy yourself some nursing pads or reusable silicone cups whose pressure prevents any milk letdown.

4. Your breast milk is different from the milk from a cow’s milk

Your breast milk will look different from time to time and does not in any way look like cow’s milk. Your breast milk changes every now and then to meet your little one’s nutritional needs.

In the beginning, your breasts will produce yellowish-white colostrum that is quite sticky and loaded with proteins. A few days later when the milk letdown increases, your milk will have two parts; you will see these two parts separate when stored in the refrigerator. One part is watery while the other contains more fat and has more cream thus making it appear thicker.

5. Latching on can be super hard

Lactation Consultants believe that by establishing a good latch, many other breastfeeding problems can be avoided. For you to have a good latch, you have to make sure that your nipple and at least half your areola are inside the little one’s mouth as you breastfeed.

A bad latch will cause you to feel a pinch while nursing which will eventually lead to you have sore or cracked nipples. If this happens you may want to try pumping and storing your breast milk to help you while your breasts can heal.

6. A quality bra is a must-have

While breastfeeding, most women’s boobs grow bigger. For this reason, it is important to wear a quality bra that will not only offer you comfort but also minimize the sagging of breasts that often happens post pregnancy. Invest in a bra that has a wide band that fits comfortably under the breasts and has cups that offer support without being too tight. You want to take care of yourself as best as possible.

Avoid wearing bras with an underwire as they could inhibit the flow of milk and cause your milk ducts to get clogged. If you are not so sure about the right bra for you, feel free to get a professional fitting from a medical care store or the maternity department.

7. You may experience breast engorgement

A few days after delivering your baby, your breasts will begin to produce lots of milk. When your breasts are full you will experience engorgement. Initially, it may be super uncomfortable, but the situation will get better as your milk supply syncs with the little one’s demands.

To relieve you from the engorgement pressure, you could:

Wake your baby up for breastfeeding
Consider expressing milk using a breast pump
Shower or bathe with warm water

To avoid the feeling of engorgement, you could:

Keep switching the first breast you offer the baby during the nursing sessions
Breastfeed for 15 or 20 minutes on each side before switching

References:

https://www.parents.com/baby/breastfeeding/problems/breastfeeding-soothing-solutions/

https://www.thebump.com/a/11-things-you-didnt-know-about-breastfeeding

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Newborn Sleep Tips

Sleep / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, baby sleeping advice, baby sleeping tips, bottle feeding, breastfeeding, gentle sleep, how to get a newborn to sleep, how to make a baby sleep, newborn care, nursing, pumping, sleep consultant, sleep training, sleeping and babies, sleeping and newborns

As a sleep consultant, I get asked often how early you can sleep train a baby. My answer is this – Most babies are ready around 12 weeks, but it’s never too early to start introducing heathy habits to make the sleep training go smoothy when baby is ready.

Why 12 weeks? Most babies are developmentally ready around this time. They’ve also established a healthy eating routine (whether breastfeeding or bottle feeding), and they’ve gained substantial weight.

At 12 weeks most babies are ready to sleep through the night. Many breastfeeding mothers will actually wake their babies to nurse them, even though the baby would sleep through on their own. Some mothers pump once in the night and let baby sleep. Other mothers can make it through the night just fine sleeping 8 hours straight, but they will more than likely need to nurse or pump right when they wake up!

Please note that at 12 weeks sleeping through the night does not mean a 12 hour stretch. Very few babies at this age are ready for that. But some babies may be ready for a 6 or 8 hour stretch. If you’ve only been getting sleep in 2 hour chunks, this sounds fantastic!

When I put a plan together with a family, I first talk with them to find out what their values and goals are. If nursing in the night is a priority, we create a plan around that. If their main objective is for baby to get a full nights rest, uninterrupted, then we create a plan around that. There’s no one right answer to sleep training; it has to fit each individual family.

So what kinds of things can you do with your newborn before that 12 week mark? You need to realize that babies thrive on routine. A chaotic schedule is not the ideal environment for a newborn. From day one, you can start to create a sense of consistency.

Wake up around the same time in the morning and go to bed around the same time at night. Do this for you and your baby.

Talk to your baby. Narrate life to them. Tell them what you’re doing (changing their diaper, feeding, nap time, wake time, play time, etc). They are listening!

Have all sleep happen in a dark room with white noise. A good, arms-down swaddle is great for newborns! There are several types of swaddles (muslin wraps, Miracle Blanket, Love to Dream), find what works best for you and your baby.

As your baby establishes feeding patterns, try to stick to a schedule for feedings. Remember you must always be flexible. Babies are not always hungry every three hours on the dot. If your baby typically eats every three hours, be aware that sometimes it will be 2 hours, sometimes 2 1/2, but usually 3. Don’t ever let your baby cry for food just to wait until the right time on the clock. Always watch for their cues and respond accordingly before letting them get too upset.

Speaking of cues, watch for them! Your baby is constantly communicating with you. From day one, they are communicating. As they grow, if you’re paying attention, you will begin to distinguish what different cries mean. This is important to create a relationship of trust between you and your baby. You cannot assume every cry means food. Just as if you stubbed your toe, it would not help if someone offered you a hamburger. You would want to sit down and maybe have someone give you some ice or even a band aid.

By assuming all of your babies cries mean hunger, you are telling them you’re not listening to what they are saying. Pay attention to what was happening to and around the baby when they started crying. Some babies are more introverted and like staring peacefully at a wall. They may begin to cry if there is a loud noise, a bright flash of light, or someone gets in their personal space too quickly. Others want to be in the room with all the action. Those babies may cry when you leave the room, or if they can’t see out the window. They do not want to stare at a blank wall, they want colors, noise, and lights.

Your baby might cry because they are too hot, too cold, sitting in an uncomfortable position, have a dirty diaper, are tired, are hungry, have an upset stomach. By paying attention to how they react to what you offer, you start to establish that trust relationship that says,”I’m paying attention to you. I’m listening to what you’re telling me, and I will react accordingly.” Your baby will know that when something is too stimulating, you will pick them up and put them somewhere they feel more comfortable. Your baby will know that when they are tired, you will put them to bed.

A good example of this the well meaning visitor – or the “Space Invader” as I like to call them. They rush over to the baby and get right in their face. When the baby starts to cry, the visitor thinks the baby does not like them, when in fact they just invaded their personal space too abruptly. If a baby is content and then suddenly starts crying, it usually isn’t too hard to figure out why if you’re paying attention.

What does this have to do with sleep training? Everything! By establishing routines and a trust relationship from the beginning, you are eliminating unknowns for your baby. They trust you to do what’s best for them. When you talk them through what’s happening, they know what to expect. They know when it’s time to change a diaper, put on clothes, or take a nap because you’ve been narrating their story to them and you’ve created consistency. This level of routine, consistency, and trust is your foundation to healthy sleep habits.

Then, when you call me around 12 weeks to start gently guiding your child through a full night’s sleep, the ground work is already laid. A child that gets enough sleep is a healthier and happier child, and so are their parents.

For more information on sleep training, contact us by phone (616) 294-0207, email, or fill out our contact form. You can also learn more about Alyssa’s methods on our blog.

Gold Coast Doulas is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

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Lessons from Tahlequah

Doulas / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth support, childbirth, stillbirth

Thank you, Ashley, for writing this lovely article about loss and bereavement.

Many of us have seen the article circulating by now about Tahlequah, the mother orca that carried around the body of her calf for upwards of two weeks. This documented, circulating story has struck a chord in many, and for many different reasons. Most obvious, we can all relate to the pains of grief and loss in some way or another, and all our hearts break for this mother. The article and photos I’ve seen circulating have stirred within me for days, as I feel compelled to share the significance of this occurrence.

Infant loss for all mammals, is a daily occurrence, including humans, yet, we don’t hear about it. And if we do hear about it, we certainly don’t want to discuss it as infant loss if so intensely painful. It’s hard to express in words. I have not personally experienced infant loss, but I have come close to many who have. I am a certified bereavement doula with Stillbirthday.com. I have come alongside grieving families as they’ve birthed their baby sleeping, and done my best through training to provide the safe space for them that they so desperately yearn for and deserve. When you read the article, you see that Tahlequah‘s whole family came around her and supported her. They fed her. They took turns holding the baby when she needed a break. This is what infant loss support should look like. It’s breathtaking.

With every family I’ve volunteered to come alongside when their baby was born sleeping, my focus is always on them doing everything they want and need to have time with their baby. If they’re nervous, I encourage them to hold the baby. Talk to baby. Sing. Dress them. Rock them. Cuddle them. And especially, take photos. While all of that can be excruciatingly painful to do, they only get that one chance.

My heart longs to tell you, wether you’re a family going through this or know someone going through infant loss: don’t let fear hold you back from grieving with your baby in your arms. This baby is yours, and you deserve every minute, every hour you so desire with your child. If you’re a loved one, encourage them. Hold the baby yourself. Love this child while you still can through touch, and long after they leave your arms. Look into certified bereavement doulas to help support a family in need, even last minute. Many of us do this work pro-bono. It’s a scary thing to face these fears of such unknown and deep pain, but this orca Momma has shown the world that it’s natural and important.

To all that have lost, I see you. Don’t be afraid to keep talking about your baby. It may help someone who will face this down the road to have the courage to cherish the limited time they’ll have with their baby in arms. Get connected. Give yourself grace, and know you have a community, even with Tahlequah.

Photo credit: Jenny’s Childbirth Services offering free stillbirth photography to grieving families

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Podcast Episode #34: Chiropractic Care During Pregnancy

Ask The Doulas Podcast / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth support, childbirth, childbirth education, self care

Today we talk to Dr. Annie of Rise Wellness about what chiropractic care looks like during pregnancy. You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or Soundcloud.

Alyssa: Hi, welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas. I am Alyssa, co-owner and postpartum doula at Gold Coast. Today, we have Dr. Annie with us. She is a local chiropractor, and many of our clients have seen her. Hello!

Dr. Annie: Hello!

Alyssa: So we get a lot of questions about what a chiropractor actually does during pregnancy. How do you support women, and why should they go see you when they’re pregnant?

Dr. Annie: Yeah, so chiropractic philosophy is kind of based on the premise that life expresses intelligence and that normal physiology knows exactly what it’s doing. And this is probably the most prevalent in pregnancy or the most seen in pregnancy because we see this baby developing within this woman, and –

Alyssa: It just happens.

Dr. Annie: It just happens. It’s an amazing thing, and I think a lot of times today that the beauty of that process kind of gets taken away. So that’s something great about chiropractic is that we honor the system of the body, and we honor the mother. And we just try to make sure that they’re communicating, brain and body, and everything’s developing properly the way that it’s supposed to.

Alyssa: So for someone who understands chiropractic care and has maybe seen a chiropractor, does anything change when you’re pregnant? I know there’s different things happening in your body as a woman who’s pregnant, but does the care change?

Dr. Annie: Yes, the care does change. So for one thing, the chiropractor is still going to address your nervous system and make sure that your spine and everything is in good alignment, but because of some of the biomechanical changes that are occurring during pregnancy, the woman has a lot more relaxin, which is a hormone that’s secreted during pregnancy that allows ligament laxity. So that is in preparation for labor, for stretching of the pelvis and everything. So the way the chiropractor would address this issue is they’re going to focus more on the pelvis and the bony alignment of the pelvis, where the sacrum is in relation to pelvic bones, and make sure that there isn’t any twisting there because that can cause muscle imbalances. And the uterus is also attached and tethered to the bony pelvis, so if there is any kind of misalignment in the pelvis, then the chiropractor needs to address that because that tethering to the uterus can cause some constraint in the uterus, as well. So we want to make sure that everything is lined up. And then the nervous system runs through all of those bones, so we want to make sure that if all of those bones are aligned, that the nervous system is communicating the way that it’s supposed to so everything can develop correctly.

Alyssa: And did I hear that you are now the only Webster-certified chiropractor?

Dr. Annie: I’m not the only Webster-certified in Grand Rapids, but I am now Webster-certified. But I will be, I think, the only one within the city of Grand Rapids fully certified for pediatric and pregnancy care. So I’ve done all of the ICPA courses. I have a three-month exam that I need to take in order to be fully certified, but I’m working on it.

Alyssa: So what does that mean to me, having no idea what Webster-certified means? And you said you’re also certified for pediatric and pregnancy – there’s two different certifications?

Dr. Annie: No, Webster is a technique and analysis of the pelvis, and it’s actually applicable to any gender, any age, but it’s used most in pregnant women to balance the pelvis and make sure that there is enough room for the baby to come through. The Webster certification is done through the ICPA, which is International Chiropractic Pediatric Association, so that is a one-module course that chiropractors can take. They go down for the weekend, learn all about the adjusting technique and the analysis and everything, and then get tested on it there and then become Webster-certified. The full certification process for pediatrics, also through the ICPA, is 14 modules, 2 research projects, and then a big exam at the end.

Alyssa: Okay, so it’s kind of like, in my world, the difference between a CLC, which is a certified lactation consultant, and an IBCLC, which an International Board-Certified. It’s a lot more work, a lot more extensive. You both know what you’re talking about, but one has just tons of hours and hours and hours put into this certification.

Dr. Annie: Exactly, and the full certification covers not only Webster technique, but it covers chiropractic research in pregnancy and pediatrics; it covers nutrition; neurology. So it’s a lot of intensive information about specific pediatric care; how to adjust babies; how to analyze babies; because we don’t want to treat them like they’re little adults and adjust them the same way that we would an adult. We want to be able to recognize things because they’re going through growth milestones. We want to be able to analyze, especially for a newborn, since they can’t communicate where certain things are or where they’re having symptoms. We need to be able to analyze their spine in a different way and in a unique way and be able to adjust it.

Alyssa: So that’s something your certification would include, but not the weekend one?

Dr. Annie: Right. The Webster technique is primarily for adults, but it’s really good for pregnant women, like I said. So it is adjusting the pelvis and then working with some of the ligaments in order to facilitate the growth of the baby.

Alyssa: So I think a lot of people when they hear Webster think that chiropractors who practice Webster turn babies. True or not true?

Dr. Annie: I would say not true. So turning babies isn’t really what the premise behind Webster technique is for. Like I said, it’s about balancing the pelvis, making sure everything’s in correct alignment. Some of the benefits of that, though, are – let me back up a little bit. So Williams Obstetrics talks about dystocia, which is difficulty during labor. There’s three primary causes of difficulty during labor. One is power; one is passage, and one is passenger. So the power has to do with how well your uterus can contract during labor. So neurologically, having chiropractic to make sure everything is in line will help the neurology work there so that the uterus can contact and coordinate its contractions appropriately. With passage, that’s the bony pelvis; that’s what we’re talking about, so that’s the pelvic outlet; that’s where the baby’s going to come through. So we want to make sure everything’s in line there. And then passenger: the baby needs to be in a good position for everything to go smoothly so there’s no difficulties during labor. So what Webster technique is focused on is making sure that those first two things are working appropriately, and then the baby, if it has enough room within the uterus and within the bony pelvis, if everything’s lined up, then most of the time, they can turn on their own. They innately know what position they’re supposed to be in, so as long as there’s no interference to that system, then they should be able to turn themselves.

Alyssa: I love that, the passenger. That’s really fun. So it’s really not about turning babies; it’s making – if everything else is lined up properly, the baby just knows inherently to do it on its own?

Dr. Annie: Exactly, yeah. It’s all about optimizing position and then the mom’s body and getting it ready for labor.

Alyssa: So do you have stats on the passenger – like if a mother is seeing a Webster-certified chiropractor and maybe wants you to turn her baby, how often does it actually work?

Dr. Annie: Well, there’s a couple of studies that have been done by the ICPA. One in 2012 had 81 pregnant patients with mispositioned babies. So they were testing it, just adjusting the pelvis, focusing on that, and 70% of the babies turned to the correct position after Webster care, which is pretty awesome. I found another study that was in 2007 where they studies 102 moms, and 92% of them turned on their own with Webster care, which is really awesome. They say that 9% will spontaneously turn anyway without any sort of care or intervention because the baby is supposed to be in the head-down position.

Alyssa: That’s a pretty small percent, though. If you’re nearing your due date and your baby is flipped, you have a 9% chance; that’s it?

Dr. Annie: Exactly. There’s a lot of C-sections that happen because of breech babies, which is kind of – I don’t want to say it’s unnecessary trauma, but if there’s something that you can do to prevent having surgery, then that is a pretty good chance.

Alyssa: Yeah, 92% is really good. So what else do we need to know about Webster-certified care that maybe most parents don’t know about?

Dr. Annie: It’s safe. It’s safe as long as you have a good, healthy pregnancy. There are some contraindications to having Webster care. And some of those things are modifiable, too, so Webster itself is kind of like a traditional chiropractic adjustment, but there are some modifications that you can do to make it a lot easier for the mom, as well. So if there are any contraindications like preeclampsia, placenta previa, things like that, bleeding during pregnancy and stuff, those are all contraindications because we just want Mom to be in the healthiest position. So if Mom isn’t having a healthy pregnancy, then we don’t want to go in and intervene with anything like that because we just want her to be as healthy as possible and make sure that the baby is healthy, too. But that being said, there are modifications and gentler things that we can do, as well. Not to say that Webster’s not gentle, but it is making sure that those bones are aligned in the pelvis.

Alyssa: So is it more of the cracking technique versus –

Dr. Annie: Some of it is utilizing the drop in the table, too, which can be a little abrupt. We always say the baby’s going to hear this, probably, because it’s a loud sound, but it’s not going to hurt the baby at all, which I think is important for mothers to realize, too. But we do modify a lot of things, like we use the activator technique in our practice.

Alyssa: Which is very gentle?

Dr. Annie: Yeah, very, very gentle, too, but it gets the same job done.

Alyssa: Cool. Well, I think that explains it really well. I think we will have you on again to talk about chiropractic care for babies. I think that would be a good topic.

Dr. Annie: I would love that.

Alyssa: Tell us where people can find Rise Wellness.

Dr. Annie: So you can find us online at www.risewellnesschiro.com, or we’re also on Facebook and Instagram, and both those are @risewellnesschiro.

Alyssa: Thank you so much.

Dr. Annie: Thank you.

Alyssa: And you can always contact us at goldcoastdoulas.com. Email us at info@goldcoastdoulas.com. Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and of course, iTunes. Talk to you next time.

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Mothership Certified Health Service Providers

Classes, Doulas, Parenting, Self-Care / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth doula, postpartum doulas, self care

Many of our doulas are Mothership Certified Health Service Providers. Sounds cool, but what does that mean? Here’s a simplified breakdown of what we learned in our training and why it’s so important.

The training involved learning the difference between empathy and sympathy. We understand that empathy never starts with, “At least…”. Here’s a great video that demonstrates the difference between the two.

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It’s important to allow a client to feel their emotions, and sometimes the best thing to do is to let them talk and not say anything at all. It’s okay to just be with someone. We don’t need to try to fix the person or the situation.

Storytelling is a great vehicle for release. Maybe it’s the release of a fear or anxiety. Maybe it’s the release of a traumatic birth experience a client hasn’t talked about yet. It can also be very uplifting. Sharing a personal story of redemption with a client can help calm fears. It can also make you more relatable if you open up and show some vulnerability.

We understand that everyone holds a certain level of bias, but knowing where those bias’ come from and how to eliminate them is critical. Being aware is the first step, the identifying them, and acting according to our values. But the best thing you can do to eliminate bias is constant exposure to diverse situations. To feel comfortable outside our bubble, you need to get outside your bubble!

Our training also talked about stress and shifting the way we think about stress. Maybe those fight or fight responses are there for a reason! Our bodies are preparing us to handle the situation at hand.

After our training we pledged to the following:

To better understand ourselves by reflecting on our strengths and challenges by practicing self-care, so that we an give the best care to our clients (because having compassion for others starts with self-compassion). We will actively work on understanding and challenging our personal biases which can affect how we deliver services.
To better understand our clients by thinking about our clients in the context of their lives, considering how we can best serve them given their circumstances, feelings, challenges, and strengths. We will look for nonverbal emotional and cultural cues so we know how to best approach our clients when delivering services.
To build better connections and promote empowerment by being intentional in how we project our nonverbal communication cues, and by our choice of words.

Mothership was inspired based on their own experiences and the experiences of friends and family. They started with values and a vision, and then spent about a year researching how they could best serve families in their important role as parents. Using a human-centered design approach, they listened to moms, dads, other caregivers, and various health care providers like nurses, lactation consultants, doulas, and peer counselors to better understand family needs, health system constraints, existing initiatives, and opportunities for making an impact. From there, they developed their mission, guiding principles, and programs.

At Gold Coast Doulas, we believe the client and health partner relationship should be emotional and relational. It’s a parent-centered relationship where we guide you and help you feel confident in our role. You will be seen, heard, and valued without judgment. We will listen to your unique needs and understand your unique situation.

To see which of our doulas are Mothership Certified Health Service Providers, look for the seal on their website bios.

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My role as a postpartum doula.

Doulas, Parenting, Postpartum / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth support, bottle feeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding consultant, lactation, mood disorders, multiples, newborn care, nursing, postpartum depression, postpartum doulas, pumping

Our very own Jamie Platt, BSN, RN, CLC, CPST shares her personal insights on what it’s like to be a postpartum doula.

What is the role of a postpartum doula? What does it look like, and how might a doula support the breastfeeding relationship between mom and baby? A postpartum doula can take care of mom, baby, and the entire family. Sometimes mom needs emotional support, help around the house, or even just a nap! I’ve taken care of baby while mom takes a nice hot shower or has one-on-one time with older siblings. We’re also able to prepare meals and run errands. We help with newborn care; we serve a variety of moms from different cultural backgrounds and some families need help with bathing, breastfeeding, and diaper changes. Some of our doulas have had additional training regarding the care of multiples, or have multiples themselves!

I have completed special training in perinatal mood & anxiety disorders so that I am able to recognize the signs and symptoms of a variety of mood disorders. It’s important that mom receives help if she needs it, and the general Grand Rapids area has great resources that include therapists and community support groups. In fact, we have one of the few Mother Baby programs in the entire nation, which provides a day program where mom can bring baby with her while she receives treatment. It is critical that we recognize when a mom needs help, that we support her, and in turn reduce the stigma of postpartum mood & anxiety disorders. Postpartum doulas are right there in family’s homes and can be a direct source of help and information.

Doulas also provide overnight support, which can be so great for moms (and partners)! The entire family can get the sleep they need and mom can still breastfeed baby through the night. I like to think that when I show up to a family’s home at night, I am well rested and mom may be feeling tired- but when I leave in the morning, I leave with bags under my eyes and mom looks and feels like a goddess when she wakes up. That is my goal!

I also want to acknowledge the importance of breastfeeding while still respecting the needs of mom, which may include formula feeding. As a postpartum doula I provide nonjudgmental support, and I help mom reach the goals SHE wants – not me. I recently completed my Certified Lactation Counseling (or CLC) training. The CDC considers both CLC’s and IBCLC’s as professional lactation supporters.

So why is breastfeeding so difficult that mothers need help? Well, our culture has unrealistic expectations of what the newborn period is like. The fastest drop-off in breastfeeding rates occur in the first 10 days after hospital discharge. The main reasons mothers stop breastfeeding is because they believe they don’t make enough milk, the baby won’t latch, and/or mom has sore or painful breasts. Breastfeeding rates drop again when mom has to return to work or school between 8-12 weeks. It is so important that as a community we support mothers who want to breastfeed. As doulas, we can help mom gain the confidence she needs, give basic breastfeeding information, and make appropriate referrals if needed. Gold Coast Doulas offers lactation support through our IBCLC, Shira Johnson, who makes home visits. Gold Coast also has other doulas who have other breastfeeding-specific training, like the CLC training. We know that breastfeeding has amazing benefits for both mom and baby, so it’s time that we start normalizing it, and again, support all moms regardless of their feeding choice.

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Podcast Episode #31: Rise Wellness Chiropractic

Ask The Doulas Podcast / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth doula, birth support, childbirth, pregnancy, self care

Dr. Annie and Dr. Rachel of Rise Wellness Chiropractic in Grand Rapids talk about their approach to helping mothers and babies, as well as how and why they decided to start their own practice. You can listen to the podcast on iTunes or SoundCloud.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas. I am Alyssa Veneklase, co-owner and post-partum doula at Gold Coast. Today, I’m so excited to be talking to Dr. Annie and Dr. Rachel of Rise Wellness. Hello, ladies. I want of hear about your new business venture together, Rise Wellness. We knew you when you worked for a different chiropractor’s office, and what made you both kind of venture out on this alone?

Well, we worked together, so when you work for another chiropractor, you’re kind of under their whole umbrella of their philosophy, their vision, which works for a while until you get to a point when you’re like, this isn’t my philosophy and vision, and there’s other ways I want to help people. And so we talked about it, and we’re like, let’s open our own.

Yeah.

And we talked to you. You were like, I got a great space for you.

Yeah, I did. We’re neighbors. We’re both in East Town now.

Yeah, it definitely helped facilitate that once Dr. Rachel went on maternity leave to have her twins. We kind of changed our whole philosophy and our focus to wanting to work more with pregnant moms and babies, too, and we realized that was a huge subset of the population that wasn’t receiving the care that we felt like they needed. So that’s where we wanted to focus.

Now, most people would get pregnant, and especially pregnant with twins, and not say, “Hey, let’s quit my job and start my own business right when I have these twins.”

It just seemed right.

But you did, and how did that work? I mean, I know you said timing-wise, it worked because you went on maternity leave and then –

Yeah, I just never went back.

Like, you’re done.

Yeah, it worked out well for that. I mean, I’m lucky I had Dr. Annie as a partner because she honestly did a lot of it. And I’m lucky I have a husband that has an MBA and knows how to set up a business and has an accountant. It really wasn’t that difficult, and it worked out for, like, how am I going to be a mom still but still work and do what I love doing. And when you work for someone, I really didn’t have the option of working my own hours. So it just made sense; I’m going to go do my own thing now.

Yeah, that was a big driver for us.

Yeah, that was a big driver. Okay, I can work the hours I want to work, but I can still stay at home with the girls when I want to be home with them.

And you are my chiropractor, so I’m in your office quite a bit. And I loved that you have a dresser filled with diapers. And it’s not just because you have a lot of babies in there, but tell me what you said, Dr. Annie, when I was like, oh, why do you have all these diapers?

Oh, accidental blow-outs. So after babies get adjusted, their nervous systems are working better, and so their digestion sometimes kicks on right after an adjustment. And we just want to be prepared and have a space for moms so they don’t have to rush home or rush to the bathroom or anything. It’s like we can just be available right there and make it easy. We have a diaper genie, so you don’t have to worry about it stinking up the office or anything.

Yeah, it’s a very baby-friendly space.

Yeah, we want to be accessible and available for everyone who wants to come in, especially moms with kids and stuff. We know that can sometimes be hectic and messy, and we want to make it as safe an environment for them as possible.

Yeah, I brought my five-year-old in with me last time, and she of course loved the coloring books and the dolls.

Oh, did she come in?

She did, yeah. She missed you. I’ll have to bring her in again.

I had my girls in on Saturday, and of course they pooped while we were there.

Which is another nice thing about owning your own space, right? You owning your business; if you need to bring your daughters in, who’s going to yell at you?

Annie, I guess. No, just joking.

I would never yell about having them in there!

Tell me about the different approach. So you were NUCCA chiropractors before, and now you’re doing something completely different. Can you tell me about what you’re doing now?

Yeah, so we’re definitely focused more on pediatrics and pregnancy care. We still see everybody, but that’s where we definitely wanted to focus, and we’re both doing additional training in that. Before we were at an upper cervical practice, which is the top bones of the spine, so we were focused on that. And we just had a little different philosophy. We felt like the whole spine was just as important, so we wanted to take what we had learned from the practice that we were at and still say, okay, this is really important, but we’re also going to focus on other areas of the spine and see where changes need to be made there, as well. So now we’re scanning and checking everything and making sure that everything is lined up and working the way it’s supposed to.

Yeah, with kids and moms and stuff, kids definitely – it’s important to pay attention to the upper cervical area because a lot of things can happen there from birth trauma, but there’s also a lot of things that show up in other areas of the spine, too, especially in kids as they’re starting to pull themselves up and falling down on their butts. The sacrum is going to be a big one that we’re going to be checking, too, especially if there’s any digestive issues or things like that.

Plus with NUCCA, it was very structural-based. Like, what’s the structure of the spine. It’s here; we want it here. And you had to x-ray. And obviously you’re not going to be x-raying pregnant women, and with children, you don’t really want to x-ray as often, either. So there just had to be a different approach, and we use a different exam and we checked the functionality of the nervous system to really look at how is your body functioning? Not just, well, are you in pain; are your legs level? It’s like, is your nervous system functioning at its optimum?

Right. I mean, structure is great. Posture is great. A lot of chiropractors use that, but we definitely wanted to take more of a functional approach and say, like, okay, we can actually look at how your nervous system is functioning, how your body’s adapting, how your body’s developing and growing, and saying, we can make that better? And that to us is more important than is your posture perfect or is your head sitting right on top of your shoulders. That’s really important too, but if we can actually dive into the nervous system and see how your body’s functioning and adapting, that seems way more powerful and way more –

That’s what changes lives. It’s not like, oh, my head is –

Yeah, exactly. At least I look good with my good posture, but is your body functioning right?

So tell people about the scans. I had never seen anything quite like that, and when you did that to me – do you do that to kids too, the same thing?

Yeah, so that’s relatively new in chiropractic, those scans are. And it’s really cool. So we look at thermography, which is the temperature of the back, so we run it along the spine and see what the temperature differences are.

And to let people know, it’s like a tiny little handheld thing with rollers, right? Is it rollers that I felt, up and down my spine?

Yeah, and then the EMG, which is electromyography. That’s measuring the energy that the muscles are using to hold you up, so it’s measuring the electricity there. And that one is just like sensors that go along your spine, as well, at different levels. And then we do HRV, which is heartrate variability, so kind of similar to measuring your heartrate with a fitness monitor; this is looking at variations in that heartrate. That’s been used in medical research and literature as a longevity outcome measure, too, so it really shows us how your body’s functioning and how it’s adapting and how your overall health and well-being is.

I’m going to live forever.

You are! Yours is the best we’ve seen! It’s better than Dr. Annie’s.

Well, I just – you know, we just opened a practice!

Yeah, it was a really interesting process. I guess I didn’t really know what I was getting into when you did it, but it was really cool to see the different levels.

Yeah, and the cool thing is when we do those scans, it’s not putting anything into the body. It’s just measuring what your body’s already doing, so there isn’t any radiation or anything like that. And that was something that we really liked about doing this approach, more so than taking x-rays.

A pregnant mom can do it. What about a baby?

Yeah, babies – I mean, it’s difficult, but you can. It’s just my girls are so squirmy. So they’re a little more –

Yeah, so thermography’s the easiest thing to do on an infant or on a child. EMG is a little harder because they have to hold still because, again, you’re measuring what the muscles are doing. And then for the HRV, instead of putting their hand on the reader, there’s an ear clip that we can use. So sometimes they don’t like that either, but we just get as much information as we can so we can make the best clinical decisions.

Well, we’re so excited to have you next to us. It just makes so much sense.

It’s a match made in heaven, right?

Yeah, we’re excited, too.

We know; we happen to know pregnant women. You can help them. So what would you like people to know about your practice?

I’m Webster-certified now, and I’ve gone through all of the modules for the full pediatric certification. I’m just working through my exam right now, so by the end of the summer, I will be fully specialized in pediatrics and pregnancy care, too. I think there’s maybe two others in Kent County or something like that, so that’s –

Not many.

Yeah, within the city of Grand Rapids, I’ll be the only one, which is just – I think it’s awesome, and I’m excited that I get to specialize in that and work with pregnant moms and kids because it’s so much fun to see those changes in their development and stuff.

Yeah, and kids love it. Once they start getting adjusted, they know it makes them feel good. They can tell, and they love it.

And pregnant women, too.

I wouldn’t have made it through my pregnancy. Guaranteed, I would not have made it through if not –

As long as you did. I mean, you did amazing. You went, what, 38?

Almost 39 weeks, yeah.

Almost 39 weeks! And then gave birth to two eight-and-a-half pound babies! You did a really good job!

Yeah, and I worked out until about the end there.

And what pregnant mom doesn’t want an easier pregnancy and a quicker, easier labor?

Right. Well, and I know from my daughter’s perspective, she doesn’t like the cracking kind of chiropractic. That scares little kids, so yours is very gentle.

It scares a lot of adults too, yeah. So we use a really kind of unique adjusting tool. I don’t think a lot of people around here use it. It’s called an activator. We have a couple other adjusting tools that we use, but they’re so easy and it’s just really easy for the body to take. And it’s, again, no twisting.

Yeah, really gentle; really specific.

So if you had to tell a parent who’s never had chiropractic care, if you had to tell them one thing, either about their bodies or their kids’, what do you think people are missing out on?

Optimal health.

Optimal health, yeah. I mean, that you really – what is that saying? You live your life through your nervous system. I mean, your nervous system controls everything. Everyone thinks chiropractors and they think bones; they think cracking; they think neck pain; they think back pain. Those are a small piece of it, and the results you get from chiropractic care, like you feel better, but really, we’re dealing with the nervous system, and the nervous system controls everything; everything that goes on in our body.

Yeah, well, and it’s sensation for everything, too, so everything that we perceive in our environment, the way kids – they have tactile exercises and stuff like that for kids, so they want tactile toys and they want a lot of colors. All of that sensation is helping their neurodevelopment, so that’s every sensation that you have, every emotion that you have, every experience that you have, is all run through your nervous system, and then your body takes that information and decides what to do with it, and then that’s your response to it, too. So really your entire life experience is run through your nervous system.

And so what chiropractic really does is we remove any interference that might be from the outside world to how you’re interpreting –

In that communicating system.

So we remove it through adjusting the spine and so you really can just live optimally, then. Your body can function optimally.

In the very, very most basic form, like, our brains run our body, right?

Yep.

And that’s the center for the nervous system?

Absolutely.

It’s where all the nerves come down, and if like you said, everything from a traumatic childbirth to some neck injury from walking and falling on their bums, to 18-year-olds – you know, like how many times did I fall snowboarding? Who know what I did to my body, right? All those little tweaks adjust how your nerves —

How your brain’s communicating with your body. But not just that, but also toxins that we take in or being really stressed out. That’s also going to show up in your nervous system, so not just trauma. We call it the three Ts in chiropractic: toxins, trauma, and thoughts, yeah, are causes of subluxation, and so that’s what chiropractors specialize in is removing that interference and restoring that normal communication in the body.

Very well put.

You can tell we’re pretty passionate about what we do!

Well, you guys should come check out their space. So they are just a couple doors down from us in the Kingsley Building. We’re in East Town. The offices are on the second floor. You guys are in Suite 201. Would somebody – if they just wanted to drop in and say hi? Because you’re there —

Yeah, please. They can come check out the giraffe table, yeah.

Please stop in.

We’ve got LaCroix and bottled water, coffee. Come hang out.

And then if they don’t want to stop in, tell people how to find you.

So our website is www.risewellnesschiro.com. We’re also on Facebook and Instagram at Rise Wellness Chiro, or you can call us. Or phone number is 616-258-8480. Otherwise, wave to us on the street. I usually walk to work, so you’ve probably seen me in my Rise and Shine shirt.

We wear our shirts all the time.

I’ll get a picture of you in your shirts. Awesome. Well, thank you both for being here. I love what you’re doing.

Thank you for having us.

Thank you, yeah.

And as always, you can find us on our website, www.goldcoastdoulas.com, and we are also on Facebook and Instagram. You can listen to our podcasts on SoundCloud and iTunes. Thanks. Remember, these moments are golden.

Podcast Episode #31: Rise Wellness Chiropractic Read More »

Podcast Episode #30: Amber the Coziness Consultant

Ask The Doulas Podcast / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth support, breastmilk, self care

How do you make a space cozy when you have children and babies taking over your house? Amber, The Coziness Consultant, gives us some easy tips for maintaining your sanity during this season of life. You can listen to this podcast on iTunes and SoundCloud.

Alyssa: Hello. Welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas. I am Alyssa Veneklase, co-owner at Gold Coast, and I’m also a postpartum doula. Today we are talking to Amber Brandt. She is The Coziness Consultant. Hey Amber.

Amber: Hello.

Alyssa: We’ve actually gotten some of your advice for our new office space, and I wanted to kind of talk to you about what you do for specifically new moms. We’re busy; maybe we’re working. Even if you’re not working, you have a newborn; maybe you also have a toddler at home. How do you create an environment at home that feels cozy?

Amber: So the coziness consultant side hustle started as this idea that people need to be comfortable in their own homes, and if we’re not happy and cozy and our spaces aren’t working for us, then our sanity is in question. And so for me, I just really feel like for starters, people’s homes need to be a reflection of who they are. When you come home, you should be able to sit down and let your hair down, and people who come to visit should feel welcome and know who you are by being in your space. So a couple things that I really try to focus on when I’m talking with a client or a new mom, especially, is the idea of capacity, for one; that we can only be and do so much, and there’s this idea that our lives are like a pendulum of work and rest. When we’re younger and we’re single and we have very few responsibilities, we go to work and then we just rest. We go to happy hour; we hang out; you know, we do our thing. And our pendulum is really wide, that swing. But when we’re a mom, especially a new mom, our pendulums are really short, and instead it’s like your work is picking up this toy and then your rest is a sip of coffee, and then you’re right back to work again. So finding a way to make your spaces work for you in the season of life that you’re in, I think, is really important. So capacity, yeah; the fact that you can only be and do so much. You need to make your spaces work for you, quirks and all. The other thing that I talk about is intentionality: looking at a space to determine how does it need to be used. If you have a dining room that also you homeschool in, or you don’t have a good play area because your child’s bedroom is so small and toys are everywhere – figuring out how to wrangle that and make it work. And then at the end of the day, how do you want to feel in this space? If you have these issues that every time you come home and you look around, you’re like, well, there’s that pile of papers again, or oh, these toys aren’t wrangled, then it’s going to affect how you feel about the rest of your life. And so if you can get your home comfortable and cozy and make it intentional and work, then it’s going to take a lot of pressure off of those other areas of your life.

Alyssa: Yeah, I feel like I’ve had to let go of some of that as a mom. I mean, it’s funny you talk about that pendulum because before baby, my husband and I – people would come over and be like, does anyone live here? This place is so neat and orderly; there’s nothing even on the counter. And now, in my mind, it’s like a toy explosion. People still come over and they’re like oh, it looks so great still, and I’m like, oh, my God. In my mind, it’s a mess, but I’m okay with it. But I’ve figured out what works for me, like what messes – they’re still a little bit contained, like I keep the toy mess back in her room, and I just deal with that maybe once a week. Have her help me, right? But the rest is a space that I feel comfortable in, like you said, and I’m comfortable with a certain amount of untidiness.

Amber: Right, and realizing that it’s a season, that your kids’ diapers are for a season, and that all the toys that make music and sing and drive you insane are for a season, you know, and it’s understanding the time of life that you’re in and finding that balance of making it work and accepting that this is where I am right now. I have a client who had me come over, and their house is really midcentury-modern inspired, and she had this long channel in her living room, this narrow space, that used to – when the original builders built it, it was a planter, like a built-in planter. And they had pulled everything out of it, and it was just this hollow, long, rectangular space. And she said, it’s so awkward; I don’t know what to do with it. But every Tuesday night, we have these families that come over for dinner, and the kids always just sit on it. And I was like, well, then make it a bench. Eventually you can make it a planter again if you want. You can tear it out if you want. But for now, if that’s how it’s used, put a cushion on it and make it storage, and make it work for this season of your life that you’re in. You don’t have to keep it that way forever.

Alyssa: Right. It’s good to do things that you’re able to change. Nothing’s permanent.

Amber: Well, and I think, too, something as simple as the way that you look at throw pillows. Knowing the season of your life you’re in, you’re like, okay, well, I can buy a lovely cream pillow that’s going to get trashed. Or you can either choose a different color, or you can buy the cream pillow, but don’t spend a lot of money on it and it’s disposable. Or buy an expensive one that has a zipper, and you can wash it. Find a way that makes sense. If you really are going to toss your throw pillow when it gets too trashed, that’s okay. That’s the season of life that you’re in, and eventually you can invest more in it. But figure out what makes sense for you so that they’re less of a headache, so that you’re not constantly yelling at kids to get their feet off of them, you know. If it’s something that they can live with and you can live with, and it’s just the season you’re in, then that’s what works, and do that thing.

Alyssa: We moved into our house and bought a brand-new sofa and had our baby, and I think a week later she spit up all over it. And I was just, oh, no, it’s a brand-new sofa! And my husband’s like, this is probably the first time of many that this is going to happen. You’re just going to have to deal with it. And it was. I mean, I think she spit up breastmilk on it a couple times. I’ve eaten a chocolate chip cookie on it and gotten chocolate on it. It happens, so you have to just realize that it is what it is. It’s kids and even me. I’m messy, too.

Amber: Well, and you can be mad about it, or you can just shrug it off and say this is where we are. The same thing happened with us. We bought a brand-new mattress for our bed, and it was the kind that comes in a box like a Casper. And it came, and we unrolled it, and it looked so lovely. And we sat down on it, and Winslow, our daughter, who seemed fine one second earlier, threw up. Not spit up; just threw up on the new mattress. There wasn’t even a sheet on it. And we both just looked at each other like, okay, well, this is our life now. And it’s like – it’s just what it is, you know? And we’re all doing that thing, right? We all have those stories, and we’re all figuring it out. But whatever you can do to stack the deck in your favor makes a big difference. Just a couple things that – when I was thinking about coming here today, I thought that I want to leave these women with something really practical. So I actually came up with just a couple of things that I do that someone shared with me years ago that have made a big difference. And one of them is buying all-white towels. A super simple thing, but there’s that long period of time with interior decorating where everyone bought everything that was matchy-matchy, and how many loads of laundry is that? So I remember someone told me once, buy really expensive, really nice hotel-quality towels that are all white. Spend some money on it, and then just simplify your life. And I was like, that’s such good advice.

Alyssa: Then you can just throw them all in.

Amber: One load. One load, done. And they’re elegant and lovely, and who doesn’t like stepping out of a shower and feeling like it’s sort of luxurious, you know? The other thing is keeping a box in your basement or in the garage for garage sale items that have actual stickers. Just put the stickers right in there, so anytime you walk out to the garage or you have something you need to get rid of, you go out and put a – if you’re into the garage sale thing. If you’re into donating, by all means, donate it. But if your goal is to sell it eventually, put a sticker on it with the price immediately.

Alyssa: And then it’s done. It’s ready.

Amber: Yeah. That’s one that I’m still not great about, and every time, I’m like, man, why don’t I do this? It’s so good. So two really practical things to take away from the conversation that are just about simplifying your life and making your head space clearer.

Alyssa: Thinking ahead – sometimes, especially as a new mom, you can’t wrap your brain around it. You’re living in the moment. How do I get through this hour and this day? Not thinking ahead about what will save me time.

Amber: Yeah. But if you can find things that are tiny, you know, like the actual effort to walk the thing to the garage and put a sticker on it, is so much more manageable and bite-sized than thinking about pricing an entire pile; collecting those things and then pricing them all. So two really helpful things that simplify your life.

Alyssa: I appreciate it.

Amber: You’re welcome.

Alyssa: So how do our moms find you?

Amber: So my website is www.thecozinessconsultant.com. Same on Facebook; www.facebook/thecozinessconsultant. I’m also on Instagram, same handle, and I share little tips and some personal insights on Instagram, and that also feeds into my website. So those are the best places to find me.

Alyssa: Well, thanks for being here today.

Amber: Yeah, thank you.

Alyssa: We’ll have you on again because you are actually a past client, as well.

Amber: Yes.

Alyssa: So we’ll have you on to talk about some of that another time. But thanks for your advice today!

Amber: Thank you!

Podcast Episode #30: Amber the Coziness Consultant Read More »

Podcast Episode #28: Plagiocephaly and Torticollis

Ask The Doulas Podcast / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth support, breastfeeding, newborn care, newborn care educator

What is Plagiocephaly? Torticollis what? Jessica Buikema of Hulst Jepsen Physical Therapy talks about both and what parents can do to prevent them and how physical therapy can help their baby. Listen to the podcast on iTunes or SoundCloud.

Alyssa: Hello. Welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas. I am Alyssa Veneklase, co-owner and postpartum doula at Gold Coast. Today we’re talking to Jessica Buikema of Hulst Jepsen Physical Therapy. Hey, Jess.

Jessica: Hey, thanks for having me.

Alyssa: Yeah. We recently spoke to one of your colleagues, JoEllen Bender, who works at a different location but does pelvic floor physical therapy. And we had an event with both of you together, and I want to talk to you separately about what you specialize in, plagiocephaly and torticollis. Now, those are super big, long, fancy words for people who don’t know what they are. Can you break down what each of those are and what that means for a new mom and a new baby? And then, how you can help?

Jessica: Yeah, definitely. So torticollis is going to be tightness or a mild lump in a muscle called your sternocleidomastoid. It’s a neck muscle, and basically what you’ll notice with your baby is that they tend to prefer to tilt one way, and they tend to want to rotate the opposite way of the tilt. So that’s when you know that torticollis could be an issue with your baby. Plagiocephaly is going to be any form of head flattening due to external pressure on the skull. We’ve seen a huge increase in both of these with the Back is Best campaign to prevent sudden infant death syndrome, and it’s very important to continue doing Back is Best, but these two conditions have increased almost five-fold since that has started. They both can be caused from the same issues, as well, but we advise you to just kind of look at your baby, and if you’re noticing that, bring that up to the pediatrician. A lot of times, the pediatrician will notice it right away, too, and they’ll have those conversations with you.

Alyssa: So I’ve noticed in babies, you know, if they do have a tightness in one side, you’ll try to put a toy over there or try to get them to look, and it’s just their eyes that will move, but they won’t actually move their head. And then there can be breastfeeding issues, too?

Jessica: Right.

Alyssa: They might prefer one side over the other because it actually hurts to move their head that way to get to the breast on that one side.

Jessica: Yes. So it’s important that the baby does get treatment if we’re noticing that either of these are significant. Especially, they can have issues with posturing of their mouth, so they’ll have an open mouth posture.

Alyssa: What does that mean, posture of the mouth?

Jessica: So their mouth will stay open, and it will lead to issues with breastfeeding. Suck and swallow issues, too, with breastfeeding, when there’s tightness in either –

Alyssa: So it will hurt to actually close their mouth, so they just leave it open?

Jessica: No, it’s just the way that they’re positioned because of the way the muscle attaches, so their posturing of both their head and neck will be different. It will be offset. So you’ll notice, as a mom, these could be issues leading up to problems with breastfeeding, and this could be one of the culprits. I know that you guys, especially your lactation consultants, will kind of try to figure out what the cause of breastfeeding issues is, and this is one of the issues that could come up.

Alyssa: So who do you mostly see? Do you see very, very newborn babies? Do you see them months later?

Jessica: In an ideal world, we would see the babies fairly early. Because everyone goes to their pediatrician quite frequently when the baby is born, this does typically get caught early, and the earlier the better, because again, this – torticollis and plagiocephaly can be caused from so many different things, and a lot of times, it’s caused in the womb. It’s not caused because you as a mom did something wrong, so that’s something I definitely want to stress, because that can stress parents out. They’re trying to do everything right, and they think they caused this, when in fact it could be caused due to the positioning in the womb; if you had low amniotic fluid; if there was any trauma at birth; multiple births, this is very common because they run out of space. Prematurity, if they’re in the NICU for a while; that can cause that as well. And plagiocephaly and torticollis kind of go hand in hand, so you can have both or you can have one or the other, and they’re actually both caused from very similar things, so any of the things that I mentioned can cause it.

Alyssa: So what do you tell parents who – you know, I see a lot of babies, like you said, with helmets now because – I mean, a lot of times it’s because of sleeping on the back, but it’s what’s recommended; it’s what we have to do. Is there anything they can do to prevent that from happening with sleeping on the back, or is the helmet the only fixer?

Jessica: No, so the earlier we see babies, the better because we can teach parents very early on ways to play with their child and ways to position their baby in various environments. So although we provide a lot of manual treatment, like we do massage to the neck and work on positioning, but there is so much education that goes with this. We’re only seeing the baby, dependent on what’s needed, but we’re only seeing the baby for 30, 45-minute sessions a couple times a week. So much of it goes into what you’re doing outside of physical therapy. So different positions when you’re playing; different positions when you’re carrying the baby; different positions when you’re breastfeeding; those are all things that we can provide at these sessions when we treat them.

Alyssa: So if a mom came to you before there was even an issue, they could potentially prevent it?

Jessica: Yeah, if there was – prevention would be huge as well. As you know, especially with when the baby comes out of the birth canal, their skull is very soft to allow them to be able to come out, so their skull is susceptible to getting flat spots due to pressure after birth, as well. So learning different positioning techniques would be very helpful to prevent that, and just telling moms what to look for to help prevent that.

Alyssa: How do we find you? If we have a mom who says, I need help with this?

Jessica: I’m located at Hulst Jepsen Physical Therapy’s Cascade location, so I am at 5136 Cascade Road Southeast. It is at the corner of Cascade and Spalding, and our number is 616-301-1215. If my location’s not convenient for you, there are multiple Hulst Jepsen clinics that have physical therapists that enjoy treating plagiocephaly and torticollis and could definitely help you as well, and you could call any clinic and they could give you the information on the closest clinic for you.

Alyssa: Yeah, there are several. I keep seeing them. How many locations are there?

Jessica: We have 14 locations. Our website, www.hjphysicaltherapy.com, will also list the locations, and then we also have our specialties broken down. But if you can’t find it on the website, don’t hesitate to call any location. They can direct you in the right place that’s most convenient for you.

Alyssa: Awesome. Well, thanks for coming in today!

Jessica: Yeah, thanks for having me!

Alyssa: Email us if you have questions for us or Jessica or anything about their physical therapy offices. You can email us at info@goldcoastdoulas.com. Find us at www.goldcoastdoulas.com, Facebook, and Instagram. You can listen to our podcast, Ask the Doulas, on SoundCloud and iTunes.

Podcast Episode #28: Plagiocephaly and Torticollis Read More »

HypnoBirthing – Brianna & Ben’s Story

HypnoBirthing / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, childbirth classes, childbirth education, Hypnobirthing, pregnancy

A huge thank-you to our HypnoBirthing student for taking the time to share her beautiful birth story with us! We hope you love this as much as we do!

My husband Ben and I decided to take a HypnoBirthing class because we had a goal to have a natural birth and because we didn’t think the hospital class would teach us much other than how to be a good patient. I was also very interested because I wanted Ben to be involved and to have more knowledge about birth. After one class we knew we had made the right choice! We really enjoyed meeting with everyone and being in an environment where birth was talked about so highly instead of with fear and anxiety. After that first class I had no anxiety about birth. I was genuinely excited about my baby’s birthday and knew my body was made for this. We learned so much about how a woman’s body is made to birth, and how to breathe calmly before and during birthing. We learned how to make informed decisions and how to ask the doctors the right questions. We felt so prepared.

My entire pregnancy was very healthy. Baby’s heartbeat was good. I was measuring on track. My blood pressure was great (it got even better after we learned calm breathing!) and my weight gain was normal. I had no complaints except some hip pain from sleeping on my side. I knew first-time babies usually come late and my due date came and went and induction was discussed when I was 41.5 weeks. Because I knew how to talk to my doctor, I felt comfortable with the process and they agreed to allow me to labor as naturally as possible once they started the induction process.

Once at the hospital, we discussed our birth preferences with our nurse who was incredibly supportive of all our wishes. Before they gave me the pill to dilate, my cervix was still closed at 1:00 AM. I believe that the calm breathing techniques and relaxation soundtracks were able to help me stay loose and limp and my cervix dilated with the pills and my labor started without pitocin! They told me this is very rare – probably 1 in 500 first-time moms are able to go into labor without pitocin for an induction. The process they said could take up to 3 days but it looked like we would be having our baby before the 24 hour mark!

As the surges grew more intense, Ben was able to suggest new positions and read relaxation scripts to me. He was just as knowledgeable about birth as I was and that was so wonderful. By the time I was feeling the urge to push, the doctor noticed my baby was “sunny side up” and initially tried to turn our baby manually. I asked if instead I could change positions and they agreed and baby flipped! It’s amazing how my body and baby worked together. Very soon after that, at 7:49 PM, our baby boy was born! Our doctors and nurses all remembered our birth preferences and I was able to pull my baby up to my chest without any medical instruments touching him first. Nurses didn’t rub him off and lights were kept dim. The doctor waited for Ben’s ok to clamp the cord after it stopped pulsing and our son was able to breastfeed right away with a great latch. It was such a beautiful moment! We enjoyed over an hour of skin to skin and then Ben held him skin to skin as well. When they weighed him I was so surprised to find he was 9 lbs 2 ounces! I birthed him without any pain medication, minimal tearing, and I have recovered quickly!

I’ve thought a lot about how HypnoBirthing helped me in my pregnancy, labor, and delivery. The truth is that it made a huge difference in every stage. Before the class I thought I knew everything about pregnancy and birth, but it turns out there was so much more to learn. And we went into every stage with enough knowledge to talk openly and easily with our doctors. We knew what our birth preferences were and why we wanted things a certain way. We knew how to stand up to protect our baby, and we were given so many tools to stay calm, relaxed, loose, and limp. Without this class I know I would have requested pain medication and I know I would have been much more upset about a scheduled induction. But because I was able to make my own informed decisions, I have no regrets about our birth. I’d do it all over again!

HypnoBirthing – Brianna & Ben’s Story Read More »

Podcast Episode #26: EcoBuns Cloth Diapering

Ask The Doulas Podcast / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth support, newborn care, newborn classes Childbirth education

On this episode of Ask the Doulas, Marissa, owner of EcoBuns Baby + Co in Holland, Michigan dispels all the myths about cloth diapering that we’ve heard. Learn how easy and economical they can be for your family! You can listen to the full podcast on iTunes or Soundcloud.

Alyssa: Hi, welcome to Ask the Doulas podcast with Gold Coast Doulas. I am Alyssa Veneklase, co-owner and postpartum doula. Today we’re talking to Marissa with EcoBuns Baby & Company again. Last time we talked about her baby registry, and you mentioned cloth diapering and that the store actually started out as a cloth diapering store. So I would like to hone in on cloth diapers today because I know there’s a lot of misconceptions and a lot of weird ideas. In a lot of my classes, my newborn class and with a lot of the postpartum clients that I support, there’s the ick factor; there’s, “Isn’t it so expensive?” And I know you have a couple other things that you get asked a lot about it. Let’s talk about some of those and dispel some myths.

Marissa: Yes, are you ready? Because I could talk about this all day long!

Alyssa: Yes! You have about 15 minutes.

Marissa: Okay, I think we can condense it down. So the first thing that you asked about is the ick factor of things, right? That’s the first thing that people are like, oh my goodness, how am I going to cloth diaper? We get asked that a lot by first-time parents, and I’m really sorry to say, first-time parents, you’re going to be dealing with ick with a new baby. I don’t have a magic pill that makes Baby stop pooping.

Alyssa: Right, whether it’s poop, pee, or puke, there’s always something coming.

Marissa: There’s always something, yep, and I always say, oh, did you ever think when you were planning about future children that you’d ever have to sit down and have a conversation about choices of diapering? You know, and so we always tell new parents – because that’s one of the biggest things is parents will say, I don’t want poop in my washing machine. And what I say to them is, you’re going to have poop in your washing machine, whether it’s on the baby’s clothes because they’ve exploded out the sides of the disposable diaper, or inside of a cloth diaper. Now, that being said, we don’t put actual baby poop that maybe people think of inside of the washing machine. We do want to get rid of that before it goes into the washing machine, and there’s a couple ways. We have liners; we have sprayers; there’s not the dunk and swish method that my mom and dad used. There’s not a bucket of bleach water that my mom and dad, back in the ‘80s, soaked cloth diapers in. Disposable liners are a really popular pick for parents who don’t want to deal with an ick factor. You lay it on the diaper before you put the diaper on the baby. When Baby poops, you can take that liner off and just dispose of the liner and wash the diaper. So it makes it super convenient for any parent to do.

Alyssa: So I’ve never seen the disposable liner. Is it – obviously, biodegradable? Better than a disposable diaper?

Marissa: Biodegradable, yeah, absolutely. It almost looks like a dryer sheet. It’s very, very thin; if you hold it up, it’s very porous. So all urine will go through it, but any solid waste is going to stay.

Alyssa: So for a newborn baby, it’s not really –

Marissa: Newborns, not even an issue.

Alyssa: But once they’re older and eating solids?

Marissa: Yeah, so usually the solid food transition is when people will gravitate towards the liners because – I always say that everyone wants you to feed your baby, but nobody talks about what the diaper changes are like after you start feeding your baby solid foods.

Alyssa: It’s instantaneous, too.

Marissa: Oh, my goodness. First bite of food, and your life is completely changed. So yeah, that’s a big factor. The other thing that a lot of people come in to talk about is the cost factor of it. You know, there is an upfront cost with cloth diapers, but what we look at is, people don’t necessarily realize how much disposable diapers cost because they’re spreading it out over time. Your average Pampers are costing you around 28 to 30 cents per diaper change. You’re going through 7,000 to 9,000 diaper changes from birth to potty training, so that can cost an average family upwards of $2,000. If you’re using something like Bambo Nature or Honest Company, you’re going to spending closer to $4,200 from birth to potty training. Cloth diapers, even if you’re going with the most expensive, all-organic, easiest-to-use solutions, you’re still probably looking at $1,800 to $2,000, but you can reuse them on future children. And there are options that make it that you can go from birth to potty training for $150. So it’s really where you want to be at. The other cool thing with cloth diapering is it’s not an all or nothing thing. You don’t have to come into EcoBuns and say, “Okay, Marissa. I’m doing cloth diapers 100% of the time.” We have so many families who come in and say, you know, when Grandma’s watching the baby, we’re going to do disposable diapers, or we travel a lot; we’re going to do disposable diapers when we travel. It’s not an all or nothing kind of thing. But the average family does save about $2,000 over the lifetime of their diapers. What we say with cloth diapers is that if you use the cloth diaper for three months, you’ve broken even on the cost of it.

Alyssa: Wow.

Marissa: So huge cost savings there. My eye doctor out at Complete Eye Health in Holland – he told me that he and his wife cloth diapered, and every week when they would have bought disposable diapers, they took those funds that they would have spent on disposable diapers and put it into a savings account. At the end of their cloth diapering journey, they had enough money in their savings account to buy a brand-new high-efficiency washing machine and dryer; they had saved that much money. So that’s huge.

Alyssa: That’s amazing.

Marissa: Yeah. The other big thing that we talk about, too, is daycare because a lot of families will come in, and they’re like, we can’t cloth diaper because of daycare.

Alyssa: That’s something I’ve never even thought of, but yeah, I can see where it’s a valid concern.

Marissa: But in 2014, Michigan changed their daycare regulations, and if they’re a state-licensed daycare, they have to allow cloth diapers. They can’t turn a child away because the parent is providing cloth diapers. Now, there is a rule – there’s actually two rules inside of that. One is that the daycare can’t reuse a portion of the diaper until after it’s been cleaned. To kind of break that down, there’s a lot of different styles of cloth diapers. Some of them have a reusable cover option. Daycare can’t reuse a cover. They have to put on a new cover every time. And then the other rule is that it has to go into a double-layer bag, which our wet bags that families use for dirty diaper storage count as a double-layer bag, so they meet the criteria for the Michigan state regulations.

Alyssa: So you just have to send the double-layer bag and extra covers, and they just throw them in there?

Marissa: Yep, throw them in there. You can wash them at home, and then the daycare’s changing the diapers; all you have to do is wash them. That makes it so easy! And so many daycares – especially when you bring in an all-in-one diaper, which is a cloth diaper that looks almost exactly like a disposable diaper; it has the waterproof piece and the absorbent piece all sewn together. You bring that into them, and they’re like, oh, this is what a cloth diaper is like? There’s no pins; there’s no rubber pants. And then they’re definitely more open to the suggestion of cloth diapers.

Alyssa: So there are a lot of different options, and you could even, like you said, if you do want to go cloth 100%, have these all-in-ones for daycare, for Grandpa and Grandma, and then have the other ones with all the different inserts and stuff at home.

Marissa: What I always tell people is that families who have the most success with cloth diapers usually have three different brands or styles. Moms usually like one; dads like a different one; grandparents like another one. Or maybe you love the print of this one, so you have to have it. And that’s the other thing I tell our parents of newborns is that even if you’re not cloth diapering in the newborn stage, pick up some for newborn pictures because it just makes such a big difference in how the newborn pictures look if they’re in a cloth diaper vs. the disposable diaper.

Alyssa: Not something that says Pampers on it with a yellow line down the middle.

Marissa: Right, yeah, you can get dinosaurs or unicorns or sunflowers!

Alyssa: Awesome! So tell us one more myth you’d like to dispel about cloth.

Marissa: Yeah, I would say probably a convenience factor is definitely the biggest thing. I cloth-diapered both of my kids. When Olivia, my second child, came out a girl, I was super excited. I was like, get the purple diaper because we’ve been Team Blue for the last two years. And I was able to cloth diaper her from birth to potty training, and I never put a disposable diaper on her. And so it’s totally possible to do. At the time that Olivia was born, I was a single mom, and so I had two kids under the age of three in diapers. And it made my life so much easier because I never had a 2am run to Meijer for more diapers. I was able to cut back on my trash because I didn’t have so many disposable diapers going out into the trash. I was able to just have my still every-other-week pickup so I saved money that way. I never had to drag toddlers into the store to go grab more diapers. If I ran out of diapers, I just washed them. You know, it was really convenient. Kind of what we talk about is that you’re going to be changing diapers regardless, and then is it, are you going to have to take the diaper to the garbage or take the diaper to the hamper to wash it? So the amount of time that goes into it isn’t a huge difference. We do offer a class at the store, and we do virtual classes, as well. We’ve had some of our customers deployed overseas, and so we’ll do a Google hangout for our customers like that. We go over all the different styles, all the different options, and then we cover, you know, a lot of the reasons why people come in to talk about cloth diapers. I think one of the biggest reasons that always surprises people is that we don’t know how long it takes for a disposable diaper to decompose. Our best guess is somewhere between 250 and 500 years.

Alyssa: Good grief.

Marissa: Yeah, so the disposable diapers being used today are still going to be around when our great-great-great-great-grandchildren are alive. So a lot of parents will come in, and they’re like, oh, you know, we had this wonderful birth experience; we had all these plans that we wanted for our children, and now we find out how awful, how many chemicals are in disposable diapers; how long it takes for these disposable diapers to decompose. And sometimes that’s the real reason that people come in to talk about cloth diapers with us. And so that’s kind of a neat thing to see so many people interested in leaving things better for future generations.

Alyssa: Absolutely. So do you have two different types of classes? You have a class telling people about cloth diapers and what to buy, and then one, once they do buy, the $25 one you talked about last time, where you come in and actually learn?

Marissa: So everything happens all in one class. We spend the first little bit of class kind of talking about why people are there, like, what most excites you about cloth diapers? We talk about things like the fact that cloth diapers overall reduce diaper rash. We talk about the correlation between asthmatic-like symptoms and newborn disposable diapers. We just give a lot of facts. We talk about water usage in the house vs. how much water it takes to manufacture a disposable diaper. All of that information is laid out. And then the last half of class is really fun where we talk about the different styles, and we always end the class with what to do about the poop because really, that’s what everyone really wants to know, and that’s when we go over all the styles of, you know, a spray pal vs. liners vs. the different options that are out. So all one class.

Alyssa: Excellent. So good. Like I told you last time, I wish I would have known about that. It would have saved me.

Marissa: Oh, yeah, and the other thing is, too, is that when you get your diapers, you get your laundry detergent; you get your set up – you get us, then. We don’t just get you set up and then send you out the door and say, okay, happy parenting. If the cloth diapers aren’t working for you, come back in and see us. And that’s really where people can get a huge benefit from getting the cloth diapers from EcoBuns vs. what they can get from an online store where they don’t have immediate access. They get our support; we want people to be successful with cloth diapering if that’s what they want to do.

Alyssa: So tell me how people get set up for this. What should they do? Should they come see you first? Should they find you online?

Marissa: Yeah, so you can definitely sign up for the class online. Our summer schedule is up right now. For sure, the next month’s schedule is up, but we usually try to do the full summer, too. So that’s up. You can sign up for the class right online, or yeah, absolutely, you can sign up in store if you just want to come and check us out first and see all the options that we have. You can definitely do that in store, as well.

Alyssa: Okay. Tell us your website.

Marissa: Our website is www.ecobunsstore.com.

Alyssa: Perfect. Everyone needs to go. I think you should go check out the store in person. You’ll probably fall in love with the cloth diapers just by looking at them.

Marissa: We have a really nice area in the store, even if you already have a baby, we have areas to feed babies; we have a bathroom and changing table, and if you want to come out for the day, Electric Hero delivers to the store, so if you need to have some food delivered while you’re looking, Electric Hero delivers for free.

Alyssa: Perfect. Sounds like a lovely afternoon.

Marissa: Oh, it’s perfect.

Alyssa: Well, thanks again.

Marissa: Yeah, thanks for having me on! It’s always fun seeing you.

Alyssa: Yeah! Everyone, check out EcoBuns online, and then you can check us out at goldcoastdoulas.com. Find us on Facebook, Instagram, SoundCloud, and iTunes. Thanks for listening!

Podcast Episode #26: EcoBuns Cloth Diapering Read More »

Podcast Episode #25: EcoBuns Baby Registry

Ask The Doulas Podcast / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, baby sleeping advice, baby sleeping tips, childbirth education, how to get a newborn to sleep, how to make a baby sleep, sleeping and babies, sleeping and newborns

On this episode of Ask the Doulas, Alyssa talks with Marissa, the owner of EcoBuns, about her boutique baby store. You’ll also learn about the new opportunity to register for Gold Coast services! You can listen to this complete podcast episode on SoundCloud or iTunes.

Alyssa: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas. I am Alyssa Veneklase, co-owner and postpartum doula at Gold Coast, and today we’re talking to Marissa from EcoBuns Baby & Company. How are you?

Marissa: Good, thanks for having me! It’s such an honor to be on the podcast with you.

Alyssa: Thanks for coming all the way from Holland.

Marissa: Well, it’s a beautiful day to drive out!

Alyssa: Yeah, good drive! So for those of our listeners that maybe don’t get to Holland very often or have not heard of EcoBuns, can you tell us about your store?

Marissa: Yeah, so we do have the physical store in Holland, which is great, and we offer a full baby registry at the store, so if you’re looking for anything for your new baby, you’ll definitely want to come out and check out the store. But for our Grand Rapids friends and friends across the world, we do have an online store as well that people can take advantage of.

Alyssa: Do you sell more online than you do in the store?

Marissa: Definitely more in the store. Our store is very relational.

Alyssa: In the store! Oh, that’s the opposite of what I would think. Most places seem to have a bigger online presence.

Marissa: Yeah, a lot of baby stores will have a larger online presence. What we found, though, is new parenting is very relational, and our customers really like coming into the store so we can, you know, give them hands-free shopping by holding their babies while they’re shopping or – you know, being a new parent is lonely, and sometimes just having that face-to-face connection is huge. So it’s definitely worth the drive to come out to the store from Grand Rapids.

Alyssa: Yeah, I know with things like baby-wearing and diapering, you kind of like to see and touch and feel and maybe even try something with your baby in it.

Marissa: Yeah, absolutely.

Alyssa: So I agree that the hands-on thing is really important. So tell us more about your registry.

Marissa: So I am super excited about the registry. The store is about five years old. We bought the store five years ago, and when we bought it, it was just cloth diapers. So a lot of people in the community still see us as just a cloth diaper store, which we are. We have so much fun with cloth diapers; it’s still one of our main product lines. But over the last five years, we’ve evolved into this whole store. Originally it was just cloth diapers, but then we have the baby carriers. We have feeding products. We have crib sheets. We have swaddle blankets. We have high chairs, activity centers, everything that you would need. And so with the baby registry, we have so many parents who are like, oh, I want to register for all these great-quality, eco-friendly items; I don’t want my family to go out and buy things that I don’t want. But we needed to do it in a really cool way. Being a small business, there’s some challenges with creating a baby registry for a small business, but this last year we just launched a new baby registry where you can actually come in with your smart phone or mobile device and scan items right from the store right to your registry. So we used to do a paper registry, which was okay, but people have a lot more fun coming in now and actually scanning items.

Alyssa: It’s kind of part of the fun of registering, like at one of the big box stores. So now you can do it on your phone?

Marissa: Right from your phone.

Alyssa: And I have to assume that it felt a little bit antiquated to do it on paper, right?

Marissa: Oh, yeah.

Alyssa: People want to feel like – I don’t know, use their technology.

Marissa: And it was very time-consuming for both the families coming in to register to have to write everything down, and for us, then, to have to go in and input it to the online store. So that is the cool thing with the registry is that when somebody comes in and registers, it’s an in-store and an online registry. So families who have family from out of town, we do a lot of in-store pickups for our – so let’s say a family from Grand Rapids or Muskegon, even, is registering at EcoBuns, and their shower is in Grand Rapids or Muskegon. A lot of times, they’ll have whoever’s hosting the shower just say, oh, just order online and choose in-store pickup, and then Sarah, who’s hosting the shower, will drive out to EcoBuns. We have everything in a nice big box for them, gift-wrapped and ready to go. They pick it up and bring it to the shower. So we try to make it as easy as possible. You know, and that’s a lot of things, like why are people registering at big box stores vs. someone like EcoBuns, and it’s a convenience factor. So we like to let people know that we can make it just as convenient with free shipping or in-store pickup options. Gift certificates are also available.

Alyssa: Awesome.

Marissa: Yeah, so there’s a couple gift certificates that you can register for.

Alyssa: Yeah, tell us about the newest one!

Marissa: So we’re really excited about this partnership that we just launched with Gold Coast Doulas.

Alyssa: Yay!

Marissa: And starting today, you can now register for a Gold Coast Doula gift certificate at EcoBuns baby registry. So it’s really neat if you’re definitely wanting to go with a doula service, and you guys offer so many different services. It’s a really great way, then, to be able to register for it to kind of offset that cost. So we see a lot of, even, second, third, fourth-time moms say, oh, I don’t know what to register for. My family wants to gift me something. Well, you know, a postpartum doulas would be definitely at the top of my list! So it’s a neat way to be able to offset the cost of that service by adding it to the registry. So we’re really excited about that.

Alyssa: Yeah, we’re really excited about it too! And since it just launched, we don’t really know how it’s going to work, but yeah, postpartum services, and then I can imagine that if they maybe don’t want as many hours as they get, we can use that for anything. You know, we have classes; we have lactation; we have sleep consults. I think we’ll probably end up using that for whatever service they may want. We’re really excited.

Marissa: We have a full list on our website of the services available, so if you want to go check it out, you can head to the EcoBuns registry and search for Gold Coast Doulas and it will pop up, and you’ll see the full list. And it will also link back to the Gold Coast website if you want more information on all the fun things that Gold Coast has to offer.

Alyssa: It’s so exciting!

Marissa: I know!

Alyssa: So I love that you have all these options; everything that a mom wants or needs, and they’re all eco-friendly.

Marissa: Yeah, we try really hard to –

Alyssa: You’ve done all the research for them.

Marissa: Exactly.

Alyssa: Which is huge.

Marissa: Yeah, yeah. There’s so much out there. I always tell people, especially with the cloth diapers; people will come in and they’ll say, oh, I don’t even know where to start, and I’ll say, I own a cloth diaper store and I get overwhelmed on what’s on the internet! Everyone has opinions; everyone has best practices, and a lot of it ends up being very regional as far as types of water and laundry, and it gets so overcomplicated, and that’s where we say, take a breath. It’s not meant to be overcomplicated. Just come in and talk to us. The cool thing about being a small business is we can change things as often as we need to. For example, if all of a sudden we have a diaper that the manufacturing changed on it and people hate it, it’s very easy for us to say, our customers no longer like this. It was cool five years ago, but our customers hate it now; something has better has come out. So we can kind of move and shift faster than bigger companies can, which is really great.

Alyssa: Do you educate people about cloth diapering? Do you have community events?

Marissa: Yeah, so we do a cloth diaper class. We actually call it Buns Bootcamp, which is a little play on EcoBuns, and we do that two to three times a month. It’s a $25 class per couple, so we’ll usually see the partners come in. We do invite, if a couple is having maybe a grandparent take care of the baby, we invite the grandparents into the class as well. It’s $25 for the class, but then at the end of the class, you get a $10 off of a $50 or more purchase the day of class. It’s about an hour long, hour and a half, depending on who’s in the class and how much talking we get into. And it’s a fun class because it does get really overwhelming, but the class kind of brings it back, and my goal is to make sure that no one walks out with their eyes glazed over, you know, that we’re not doing too much information. Just enough so that you guys feel educated in your decision that you make.

Alyssa: I wish I would have known about that. I wanted to cloth diaper so bad; bought the whole shebang, spend hundreds of dollars, and had zero education, so I gave up after weeks.

Marissa: And that’s huge. We have so many parents who say – you know, we’re an email away. We have a lot of parents email us pictures, like why isn’t this working? And a lot of times you don’t know what questions to ask, and so we can look at something and say, oh, this button just needs to be here, or this insert needs to go like this, and boom, all the problems are solved. But, really, we’re the first generation who isn’t going to our parents and grandparents for advice. We’re going to the internet for advice, and that’s shifted the way that a lot of parents handle parenting decisions, even. And so it’s nice to have a trusted resource that you can go to who has kept up with modern parenting, who knows the products that are out there, who knows what the current and best practices are, to be able to go to and ask advice. So that’s huge, and we do that with our carriers, too. We do free fit checks on carriers purchased from us. Any time a carrier is purchased from us, it automatically comes with a free half-hour lesson on how to use it.

Alyssa: So awesome!

Marissa: You know, so many times, you get a carrier home, and it overwhelms you, and then you throw it back in the box, and you never pull it out because no one taught you how to use it, and we don’t want that to happen.

Alyssa: It’s amazing. Okay, so tell me again if someone from Grand Rapids registers at your store, they don’t necessarily want to drive to Holland, you actually do deliver to them?

Marissa: Yep, so we do shipping. So we have free shipping on orders over $75, and then we offer first-class and priority shipping, so it’s super easy to get people their products. And I know the Amazon two-day shipping is huge, but first-class shipping from Holland gets to Grand Rapids in one day, so it gets to everyone really, really fast.

Alyssa: That’s really awesome. So tell our listeners where to find you and how to register.

Marissa: So if you want to come to our actual store, we’re in Holland on the corner on James Street and US 31 in the Holland Town Center. If you’re familiar with Holland, it’s the old outlet mall with the big orange ropes on them. So we’re right between Carters and Gap Outlet. So from Grand Rapids, if you want to just plan a whole shopping day, Carter’s is there; we’re there; Gap’s there. It’s a great day. Otherwise, we’re online. We are at www.ecobunstore.com. Our store in Holland, though, is open seven days a week, so we’re there Monday through Sunday. Monday through Friday, we’re there from 9am to 7pm. Saturdays, 10am to 7pm, and Sundays, noon to 6pm. And we have Lake Michigan, so it’s definitely worth the drive from Grand Rapids!

Alyssa: Right, and now it’s beautiful!

Marissa: And we do offer – so every other month, we have Gold Coast Doulas come out for a really fun Mom’s Night Out, our prenatal edition. So again another really fun reason to come out to the store.

Alyssa: Yeah, come meet the doulas and check out the store!

Marissa: Yeah, absolutely!

Alyssa: Awesome. Well, thanks. We’ll have you on again to talk about – I think we need to talk about cloth diapering and we should talk about baby-wearing.

Marissa: Yeah, absolutely.

Alyssa: So we’ll you back on another time.

Marissa: Awesome. Thank you so much.

Alyssa: Thank you so much! Let us know what you think. Check out EcoBuns online and then as always you can check us out at Gold Coast Doulas.com. Find us on SoundCloud, iTunes, and don’t forget to subscribe. Thanks for listening!

Thanks for listening to Gold Coast Doulas. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. If you like this podcast, please subscribe and give us a five-star review. You can also check out our Baby Registry Consultation services. Thank you!

Podcast Episode #25: EcoBuns Baby Registry Read More »

[un]common sense: Managing your guilt as a Mompreneur

[un]common sense, Parenting / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, mom guilt, self care

Today’s blog is written by Alyssa Veneklase – mother, wife, doula, and business owner. She talks about not just mom guilt, but very specifically the type of guilt we have as mothers and business owners. Enjoy!

I worked full-time in an office when I found out I was pregnant, and my assistant at the time was pregnant as well, due a few months before me. She came back to work after a couple months of leave and decided after two hours at work she wanted to quit and stay home with her baby. That was that.

Even though I hadn’t had my baby yet, I knew for certain I did not want to be a stay at home mom. I was going back to work, no question. But I began to feel this sense of guilt. “Am I a bad mom because I don’t want to stay home all day with my baby? Is she a better mom than me because she loves her baby so much she physically can’t be separated from him?” This guilt came from somewhere outside of me – a perceived notion; a very conventional belief that mothers should stay home with their children. But it was not my belief, so why was it making me feel guilty?

I had my baby, went back to work, and everything was great. Except that I began to feel another sort of guilt. I resented my husband for having (what I thought was) an uninterrupted schedule. He still got to go golfing whenever he wanted, meet the boys for a beer without worrying about who was watching the baby… I, however, felt trapped. When I did go out I felt guilty. “I have a baby at home. She needs me.”

It took several months for me to realize that this guilt I felt was my own doing. I was not allowing myself the opportunity for self-care and time apart from my baby. “Why can’t I leave her to go out with my friends more often? Why don’t I get a babysitter so I can have an afternoon alone?” I felt like because I was her mother, I was stuck with this extra responsibility that my husband didn’t have, when in reality he just valued his own time more than I valued mine.

This type of guilt came from a place inside me. It was only mine. I created it, nurtured it, and then took it out on others (namely my husband). It took a while for me to understand, but now I make self-care a priority. I make sure if I want to do something, I do it. No excuses. And I don’t feel guilty about it. I’m still an amazing mom!

So let’s talk about that extra special type of guilt that comes with being a Mompreneur.

If we work from home, we get to play more often…right? We’re lucky because we get to spend all this extra time with our kids while they’re small. Or does it mean we just feel more guilty because we are home on our computers instead of playing with our kids?

For moms with office jobs they are more likely to be able to disconnect when they get home. I mean, we’re never really fully disconnected since our phones are attached to us, but I think the moment we leave the office something happens in our brain that allows us to focus on home. The physical disconnect creates a mental one. Unless you own that office, then going home is just an extension of your office.

When you own your own business, when are you ever able to disconnect? You are the one your employees and clients call. You may be the receptionist, the manager, and the marketing coordinator. You’re the boss.

When you have a newborn at home, you’re on-call for that baby. It doesn’t matter how important the project is you’re working on, baby needs to be fed or held or changed. As our kids get older they’re just as needy, but in different ways.

Even if your child goes to daycare during the day, we struggle to focus on them in the evening because we’re still at work. The phone still rings and the emails keep coming. And we just can’t put down our phones.

The thing that works best for me is to set a schedule and stick to it. If your child is home with you while you’re working, set specific times of the day that you are focused on work only. That means no laundry, no dishes, and no distractions from your child. So… you will need another care-giver there to help.

If your partner is able to help, make sure you set strict guidelines. “I’m working from 9-12, don’t bother me. That means you don’t need to tell me when she’s crying or when she poops. Handle it.”

You can hire a mother’s helper, babysitter, or nanny to help out part time during the day. You can find a childcare establishment that you trust. It’s amazing what you can accomplish in 3 hours without a kid around!

No distractions means no distractions while working, but on the flip side that means no distractions when it’s family time. If you can have dedicated times to focus on work, it should be easier to set work aside when it’s time for family. That means leave your phone in the other room. Don’t check emails or browse Instagram while playing with your kids. Physically separate yourself from it otherwise you will not be able to give them the quality attention they desire.

It’s much easier to focus on your kids when you know your work is done. And it’s easier to get your work done when you’re able to fully focus on your work. A half-ass day of work makes for a half-ass evening with family. You will be distracted. It seems so elementary, right?

The biggest thing I’ve learned from having a baby is it’s okay to be selfish. Being selfish does not have to be a bad thing. There’s still a gender bias that mothers need to be selfless especially when it comes to our children. Why do we have to give up our sense of self, sacrifice our passions, for our children?

Do you think men sit around and talk about Dad guilt? Probably not.

I see a shift happening, especially now with the amazing movements that women are making in politics and leadership roles. We are redefining what it means to be a woman. We can be strong leaders and also great mothers. But do not let this discount the significance and magnitude of our maternal urges. They are real. They will always separate us.

I’m not giving you many specific tips or secret formulas for managing guilt. I think instead I’m asking for a shift in how we see ourselves in our roles, therefore eliminating the guilt and pressures put on us whether by external sources or internal.

When you start to feel guilty, think about what a great role model you are for your kids. You are setting the standard high. They see a strong, independent woman who owns her own business! They see her working hard and providing for her family. I get to see my postpartum clients from an outside perspective, and they often feel guilty and scared and angry, but you know what? They’re doing a lovely job. We are sometimes hardest on ourselves. The fact that you feel guilty sometimes means you’re a good mother and care about the time you spend with your children. And more than likely, you’re doing way better than you give yourself credit for.

So remember you’re a badass Mompreneur! You’re making it all happen and when you start to doubt yourself or feel guilty, take a look at everything you’ve built and feel proud.

[un]common sense: Managing your guilt as a Mompreneur Read More »

Podcast Episode #22: How to get Dad on board with Hiring a Doula

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Birth, For Dads / partners / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, babycare class, birth doula, birth support, childbirth, childbirth classes, childbirth education, Hypnobirthing, pregnancy

On this episode of Ask the Doulas, Alyssa talks with Amber and Ashton about getting your husband or partner on board with hiring a doula. You can listen to this complete podcast on iTunes or Soundcloud.

Alyssa: Hi, welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas. I am Alyssa Veneklase, co-owner and postpartum doula, and today we are talking to Ashton and Amber, and little Parker is here as well, so we may hear him talking, too. Hi, you two. Thanks for joining us.

Ashton: Hello.

Amber: Hi.

Alyssa: We have you both here today because some clients do have a little pushback when Dad kind of says, why would we have a doula in this sacred space, this birth space? So can you two tell us how that story started for you and what it looked like, your journey into actually hiring a doula?

Amber: Yeah, definitely. I think for me, I have always been very attracted to the idea of having a natural birth, ever since I can remember, really. I’m a hair stylist, and I have a lot of clients who have had babies, and actually, a lot of them have had natural births, and it’s always such an emotional thing to listen to their story and the experience that they have. And I really do think it’s something that you very much need to prepare for and set yourself up for success with, not just something that you want to do, but something that you are fully comfortable with for the most part and having people in your court to cheer you along. So I always knew what a doula was and a little bit of what kind of role they played, and that was always the common denominator in all of the births that I heard about was that they did have a coach there, a doula there, and so for me, it was kind of a no-brainer. It was just something that once I found out I was pregnant, I was like, well, we need to start looking into doulas. And so I had brought that up to Ashton one day and was just telling him, you know, we’ve got to hire a doula. And I think it kind of caught him off-guard a little bit, and he wasn’t exactly sure what it was or why we would need one. It was something I knew that I wanted, but I wasn’t so prepared to explain to him what kind of role they actually did play in the delivery room.

Alyssa: How did that conversation look? How did you start that conversation with Ashton, and, Ashton, what were your initial thoughts when she said doula? You’re like, doula what?

Amber: Yeah, I think I just went in assuming that he was going to be on board with it, and yeah, of course we’re going to have a doula. So I was already kind of researching ones in the area and brought it up to him, and I just remember a little bit of a – well, why? And that took me off guard a little bit because – I don’t know, but why I assumed he knew what one was and that it would be really helpful to us. In that moment, I wasn’t sure, either, how to explain to him what one was, so I kind of remember there being a moment of, well, we’ll go back to the drawing board for a minute; I’ll do my research and kind of come up with some possibilities of ones to talk about. It just didn’t go as smoothly as I thought, and I guess I kind of felt bad, too, that I didn’t explain better what a doula was, and I think – and obviously you can talk more about this, but I feel as though he thought it just wasn’t necessary, and yeah, the why, like why would we need that?

Ashton: Yeah, I think the conversation when you brought up the idea of having a doula – I didn’t know what a doula was; had never really heard the term before. I think maybe we’d seen some episodes of The Mindy Project and that was kind of my first exposure to a doula. So yeah, at first, the idea – you know, at this point, we’re a few months along with the pregnancy, and obviously the shock has hit us. It’s still kind of surreal; we’re not sure what to expect. And the thought of – up to this point, it’s the two of us, you know, the team effort that’s going to get through the delivery, and I guess I kind of had that anticipation going into it that it would just be the two of us. I was thinking that yeah, we can do this; we’ll do our homework, and we’ll learn the techniques that will help you deal with the pain and everything and how I can help you cope with that. And the idea of bringing someone else in, as you described it, somebody to help you through the birthing process: at first, yeah, I felt a bit taken aback, almost that I wasn’t going to be good enough; like, what, am I not good enough? Am I not able to support you through the birthing process? So I felt a little shafted at first, and it probably wasn’t until I did some research and we picked up the book The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin, which is really an in-depth guide to what doulas are and a good resource for fathers and expecting mothers and probably other doulas and birth companions. So it wasn’t until I started reading that and learning about the doula’s role; you know, it’s not that they’re coming and just supporting you, but they’re really supporting me as well, and I didn’t really understand that initially. I didn’t think that I would need support through the process, but the fact is, we ran into all sort of obstacles and unknowns, and having this doula, somebody who’s been through dozens if not hundreds, even, of births with different people – having that kind of experience in our court really helped to ease a lot of concern. Overall, looking back on it, we would absolutely do it again, even though we ended up having not a natural birth but a Cesarean birth. It was maybe even more beneficial because it was such an emotional roller coaster. We were set up to have a natural birth but we ended up needed a Cesarean because he was breech, and that emotional deviation was – yeah, the doulas really helped us process that as well. So yeah, it was tough to process at first, but I definitely would recommend it.

Alyssa: How long did it take you to get there, from the day Amber said, “I want to a doula” and he was like, what the heck, so this now, of him saying, okay, sure, I’ll read this book?

Amber: You know, for Ashton, I think that he needs a lot of information around something before he’s on board, and I’m totally the opposite. Like, I put all my eggs in the basket, and I just go full-forward without – and I’m like, I’ll figure it all out later. Well, he’s very opposite, and so I had picked up The Birth Partner book for him because I do think that he just really needed to understand the whole picture and the role that a doula does play, and he didn’t know that. So how I am going to get him on board for something if I just say, well, they’re just a coach in the delivery room? It is so much more than that. And so I think that just having the information is so powerful with that because everybody has pushback to stuff that they don’t understand. That’s just kind of human nature, right? So I think, yeah, the more information that he received – and reading that book, too, I think that he felt so much more empowered about birth and being a good birth partner for me, the role that he would be in, and knowing that a doula is just making him stronger throughout it and making me stronger. It’s also just having somebody to always go to with questions, no matter what it is. For me, I feel like our doulas, Ashley and Kristin, showed up in such a different way than I had originally expected. You know, you bring them on to help you in the delivery room, and that unfortunately wasn’t the case for us, but the support that we received going up to that was just incredible. You know, texting them with random little things. I mean, it was my first pregnancy. I would have a question about something or I would have a sensation and be like, is this normal? And I always had somebody that I could go to with just the shooting of a text, no matter what time of day it was. And that was really, really awesome for us, but especially for me, just knowing that things were normal, and I didn’t have to worry about stuff. And we went through the hypnobirthing as well, so we just received so much by bringing Gold Coast on. We had interviewed a couple doulas, and you guys were one of them, and we just felt like it was such a good match. We did the hypnobirthing and just received so much information around labor. I had no idea what your body even does during labor, and I think that bringing a doula on and just getting so comfortable and confident around what labor is, how it goes down, the differences, the changes that your body goes through – I think understanding that alone made me feel so much more comfortable in my pregnant body and potentially going into a natural birth. That was what we had planned for, and it didn’t happen, but regardless, I felt like I had so many tools in my belt, and I just understood a lot more that I wouldn’t have received if I hadn’t hired a doula because then we probably wouldn’t have done the hypnobirthing or any of the other classes that we did, as well. So think that it’s just kind of a – you know, once you bring a doula on, there’s so much information that you can get from it that can potentially set you up for a successful birth.

Alyssa: So we’ll have you on again to talk about how planning for a natural delivery and ending up with a Cesarean. Ashton, I actually wanted to ask you one more question before we wrap up here. So for the guys, for the dads out there who don’t read – like, my husband would have never read a book, had I asked him to. If you had to tell them a couple things to say, okay, this is why you need to hire a doula; what would you say?

Ashton: You know, I think it’s a tough question to distill it down. Everybody’s going to have a different perspective on it. I could tell pretty early on when Amber approached me with the idea of bringing a doula on board that it’s something that would make her feel more confident in the delivery of our first child, and at the end of the day, I think that’s ultimately why I wanted to support it. I wanted to learn more about it because especially with the stress and the difficulty and the emotional roller coaster that goes on with having your first child, all the unknowns, all the fear – you know, at the end of the day, if having a doula is going to make you more comfortable, then that’s probably not something I want to oppose.

Alyssa: How did the doula support you? You had said that it wasn’t just for the laboring mother but for you as well.

Ashton: Yeah. Well, it was mostly educational, so we did participate in the hypnobirthing class, and I think learning so much about the birthing process through that also helped me understand the role of a doula, but also the role of myself in the delivery process.

Amber: You felt very empowered after the hypnobirthing, right?

Ashton: Yeah. It took a lot of the fear and the unknown and made it more accessible because I knew or I had at least some ideas of what we were getting into. But again, I think the emotions and the fears are probably some of the hardest parts around having our first child, at least for us, and having the doulas with us to answer both of our questions, being there at the delivery, helping us with our first latch once Parker was born – I think just having that reassurance and that additional resource and expertise just made us more confident going into it, which was certainly worth the cost.

Amber: Yeah, I feel like we really had an incredible relationship with Ashley and Kristin, and it happened quickly. And like I had already said, just always having somebody to reach out to. I had so many little questions along the road, and it’s not like you can call your midwife or OB every single time you have a question, and going to the internet when you’re pregnant is just –

Alyssa: Stay away from Google!

Amber: You stay away from it. So there was just always somebody that we could reach out to, and that alone was worth it. And just the relationship that we both created with them, I think especially through the hypnobirthing, we both felt very empowered. But they really empowered Ashton to be a good birth partner through labor, and doing the breathing techniques together, having him be my coach through that stuff. While our doula taught it, I think that she really put a lot into his court in a good way.

Ashton: Yeah, it was like a having a – Ashley in this case was a birthing coach for me and a birthing coach for Amber, but she definitely made me a more competent and confident partner going into the delivery room and through the last stages of pregnancy. So yeah, ultimately, it made us both more at ease and more relaxed in the pregnancy in general, and that’s a hard thing to put a price on.

Alyssa: Well, thank you for sharing. We’ll have you back again, and we will talk about how your actual last few weeks of pregnancy went and how your doula supported you in that role. Let us know what you thought about this episode. If you have any questions, you can always find us: info@goldcoastdoulas.com. You can email us there or find us at goldcoastdoulas.com, Facebook, and Instagram. Thanks.

Podcast Episode #22: How to get Dad on board with Hiring a Doula Read More »

Infant Massage Is Only For Babies… Or Is It?

Infant Massage / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, baby massage, childbirth classes, doulas, infant massage

April 14 is Baby Massage Day, so in honor of this day, we have a special blog from Cristina Stauffer, LMSW, CEIM. Enjoy!

Infant massage is an age old practice that has many great physical and emotional benefits for babies and their caregivers; however, did you know that the basic techniques of infant massage can be used throughout the lifespan? Yes, it’s true! From newborn babies to teens and young adults, nurturing touch is good for everyone.

An introductory infant massage class typically focuses on babies who are not mobile yet – usually 6 months and under – but that does not mean that massage ends once a child starts to crawl. Although offering massage may become more challenging as babies grow, there are many creative ways to incorporate massage into everyday life with children of all ages.

Movers and Shakers (ages 6 months – 24 months) – Massage becomes more playful as children become more active and curious. This is a great age range to introduce touch through the use of songs and stories. Well-known nursery rhymes such as “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” or “This Little Piggy” can be used to engage a busy toddler. More physical games and activities such as playing “Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes” or “The Hokey Pokey” can offer opportunity for gentle touch and to teach body recognition and awareness.

Lower your expectations for what a massage looks like with this busy age range. Massage is sometime only accepted in very small ways, but remember that some nurturing touch is always better than none at all. Techniques taught in an introductory class can be used with this age to help relieve tension in legs and ankles as babies begin to crawl and walk, to reduce teething discomfort and to alleviate congestion and sinus pressure.

Preschoolers (ages 2-5) – Songs and games become even more interactive and fun with preschoolers. Massage techniques such as “Building a Pizza” or “Planting a Garden” (typically taught in the second session of Gold Coast Doulas infant massage classes) make for great interaction and nurturing touch between child and caregiver. Taking turns drawing pictures or writing letters on each other’s backs and guessing the secret message becomes fun and exciting towards the end of this age range. Children this age also start to want to give massage to parents, caregivers, siblings and friends in addition to just receiving it themselves. So sweet!

Preschoolers might also start to experience growing pains as their muscles stretch to keep up with their rapidly growing bones. Using basic massage techniques for legs and feet or arms and hands along with a heat pack can be very helpful to ease these pains.

School aged children (ages 6-12) – School aged children begin to become more aware (and sometimes self-conscience) about their bodies. It can be increasingly challenging to find opportunities for nurturing touch and massage. Tailoring what you are offering to your children’s specific interests can be helpful. Offer a special sports massage like a soccer massage, dancers or gymnasts massage, or a swimmers massage. Not into sports? Artists, writers, videogamers, and computer geniuses need relaxing massage too.

This age range is also a nice time to encourage reciprocal massages. Take turns pampering each other by rubbing a scented lotion onto each other’s hands or feet. You might be surprised by how well your child engages in conversation about their day, their dreams or their challenges during a few moments of quiet massage.

Pre-teens, teens and young adults – (ages 13+) – Massage is about connection and comfort with this age group. Of course, your preteen may not want to play massage games any more or even willingly let you touch them some days. This is when we offer massage as pain or tension relief. It might go something like this – “Wow, you have been working so hard on that paper! Can I give you a little hand massage to help you relax”? or “You have had such a stressful day! How about I rub your shoulders for a minute?” or “You played your heart out on that soccer field today! Would you like me to rub your legs for a minute to help relax your muscles?” Teaching older kids to give themselves a slow, intentional hand massage with an indulgent lotion can be an excellent introduction to mindfulness practice as well. This is a great mindfulness practice for adults too!

It probably comes as no surprise that children who are massaged from a young age are more likely to accept massage as a teen or young adult as it has become a familiar, comforting practice for them throughout their lives. On the other hand, I will always advocate that it is NEVER too late to add nurturing touch and massage into your interactions with your children. What are you waiting for?

Check out our BECOMING A Mother course! It’s a self-paced, online series to help reduce fear and gain confidence in pregnancy, birth, and early parenting. With recorded video lessons, monthly live chats, and a supportive FaceBook community – it’s everything we wish we would have known before we had our babies! We’d love to see you there!

Kristin & Alyssa

Infant Massage Is Only For Babies… Or Is It? Read More »

Podcast Episode #20: Lisa’s Story about Postpartum Anxiety

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Doulas, Postpartum / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth support, newborn care, postpartum depression, postpartum doulas, stress and pregnancy

On this episode of Ask the Doulas, Lisa shares about her postpartum experience of dealing with anxiety and how doula support helped her through that challenging time. You can listen to the complete podcast on iTunes and Soundcloud. Please also visit our postpartum depression and anxiety resource list.

Alyssa: Hi, welcome back to Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas. I am Alyssa, co-owner and postpartum doula. And we’re talking to a client of mine, Lisa, again. We’ve talked to her so far about her fertility struggles, dealing with a five-week early C-section, having a baby in NICU for eight days, bringing him home, and then moving from Seattle to Grand Rapids when he was four months old. Today we’re going to talk about how all that plays into your overall mental well-being as a first-time mom. All this happens; you have a baby; you’re already – you have so many fears anyway.

Lisa: And questions.

Alyssa: Yeah, fears and questions.

Lisa: And there’s a spectrum of answers to any one question that you have, and so then you have to muddle through.

Alyssa: The answer is which one is right for you. That’s what I tell my clients. There are so many answers, but which one makes most sense to you and your family and your baby? So you moved to Grand Rapids; your baby’s four months old; you find me; you have a doula. When you first moved here, what kind of mindset were you in?

Lisa: That’s a good question. Well, I was still really postpartum. You know, I was still basically in the fourth trimester, so I was very hormonal still, and I think that the month prior was so focused on, okay, what do we need to do to get ready to move? Once I got here, it was kind of a little bit of an exhale or maybe a collapse. You know, like you’re collapsing into this new environment. And then two things I think came up for me during this time. So right when we moved, our son was – for the week or two prior, and for the first five days that we got here, he was actually sleeping through the night, which was the only time in his life that he’s done that. And then, I think, five days after we moved here, he started waking up every hour throughout the night, and he was also not a good sleeper during the day, and so I was just really not getting any sleep. And then I think for whatever reason, maybe I was out of that fourth trimester or whatever, but I think all of the trauma of the fertility, the pregnancy, the emergency C-section, and then actually having a preemie baby, that started unraveling for me.

Alyssa: You actually had the time and space to think about it?

Lisa: Yeah, it kind of started – I think the whole time I was just like, what’s the next step I need to take? You’re basically just focused on moving forward, vs. really processing anything that’s happening to you during that period because if you stop to actually absorb what’s happening, it’s just emotionally overwhelming because there’s just so much wrapped up into it, for me, at least, into what was happening. And I think I just got – I was very anxious about the fact that I don’t know anybody. I don’t know anybody here. I don’t know who to trust. I have found a postpartum doula, but I’ve never met you. I literally have never met you in my life, and I also don’t have any friends. And I’m 39, and so I feel like, oh, my gosh, I didn’t realize I kind of need to date for friends again in my life.

Alyssa: That reminds me of one of our phone calls when you were still in Seattle before you moved here. You had said, “I’m a 39-year-old mom. I know West Michigan is a lot of young parents. Am I going to be the only 39-year-old mom at the playground?!” And I was like, no!

Lisa: Because in Seattle, all of my friends were older moms. They’re career women; they’re established. Children did not come first in their chronological life events, and so I thought, oh, no. I am going to be the oldie. I am going to be the old, wrinkled mom.

Alyssa: And I think I remember telling you that yes, there are a lot of young, young families, but there are also a growing number of families who are waiting, myself being one of them, and my business partner as well, so I think – hopefully I eased your mind.

Lisa: And I for sure found that to be true.

Alyssa: You find your village, you know. You find the people you’re looking for, and the ones you’re not seeking out, they don’t even really cross your radar, I feel like. So I also remember at one point when we were working together, you telling me – when you finally got to that point where you’re like, okay, I actually have time to process this whole journey. And you had even talked about how through your pregnancy, not feeling like you were able to enjoy it because there was all this stuff going on.

Lisa: No, it was like every day – it was like this might sound too graphic, but I was like, how do I keep the baby in? What do I need to do today to keep the baby inside me and growing? And that was the focus.

Alyssa: Yeah. So you didn’t ever have this time to just love being pregnant and enjoy.

Lisa: No, I was on pelvic rest. It was just different. It was very different.

Alyssa: I remember you almost mourning that, mourning the fact that you felt like you didn’t – you missed out on something.

Lisa: Yeah, I’m so glad that you brought that up. I did, you know. It’s the idea of just being able to make love with your husband and then you’re pregnant. That’s what, literally, I thought. That’s what I expected, and then that whole process was so different. I just wanted to have a homebirth in a tub. That’s the route that I wanted to go, and then being in antepartum in a hospital for five weeks, and then going through an emergency C-section where I didn’t even get to experience what it is like to have a contraction – you know, I felt like that was robbed from me. And then I had this kind of indescribable feeling where once my son was born, then it was like – I can describe it best by saying that I was trying to grab a baby through sand, and the sand was just coming through my fingers. It was like my body felt like it had “lost the baby.” And I think that’s because – there’s probably some internal knowledge that a woman’s body has that it knows that it should carry a child for X amount of time, and mine was cut short. And the only thing that made me feel okay is I would just put Ethan, my son, in a carrier, and just have him close to me. Literally, body to body. And then I didn’t have that sense of loss. I did not expect that. Nobody mentioned that. That wasn’t in any books. I just didn’t expect that. So I was dealing with that; I think that was one of the first emotions that kind of started coming out after I moved here.

Alyssa: How long do you think you felt that feeling of, I have to have him close to me or I feel panic?

Lisa: Oh, I would say at least for the first six months. It was not a short period of time.

Alyssa: So do you remember when I told you that the first probably three or four times I saw you, I didn’t even try to take him from you? I could sense that feeling of panic in you.

Lisa: You recently told me that again, and for the life of me, I cannot remember that. That doesn’t even register. I don’t remember that. And that kind of gives you a clue as to mentally where I was at that time.

Alyssa: Well, like you explained it, it’s like trudging through molasses every day. Even throughout pregnancy, you were in the mindset of, what do I have to do today to keep this baby growing inside of me? And then once you have this baby, it was okay, how do I get through this day, that I can breastfeed my baby and try to get an hour of sleep here and there? And it doesn’t work. An hour of sleep at a time just doesn’t work, so you were kind of in this fog, and then also mentally, finally, able to process everything your body’s been through the past year and really kind of mourn all these things. And yeah, I could sense the panic in you with Ethan. But if you look at from where you started when I first met you to when I left –

Lisa: Yeah, I was like, wait, what day is Alyssa coming back?

Alyssa: You would; you would text and say are you coming today or tomorrow? It is 12 or 2? You know, you were just in a place –

Lisa: I could not remember details like that, either. And you’re like, well, no. Three days from now. I’m like, oh, no! I’m in trouble this week! I do remember – I think the first thing I went and did by myself in Grand Rapids once I got here is I remember you taking Ethan and saying no, you actually have to get outside of the house. And I think I went to Gaslight, which is less than a mile away from my house, and I think I got a pedicure or coffee, I don’t know. Something like that, that took half an hour or something, and then I was back. But I felt like, oh, gosh. That was a breath of fresh air. I didn’t have a crying baby in the back, because he didn’t particularly like the car seat. Yeah, and I guess I just – I’m so thankful for you because I feel like you not only were looking out for my son, who was my number one priority, but you were also looking out for me, which I wasn’t really able to. You know, and I’m home alone, all by myself all day, in a new place. I was a stranger in a strange land, and I just needed help. Moms need help in places that they don’t even necessarily know that they need help.

Alyssa: Well, and that’s the thing, I think, with postpartum support. We are there to help you care for the newborn, and it’s not that we won’t, but we’re there to really care for you because it’s just that we don’t think we need help or we maybe don’t know we need as much help as we really do.

Lisa: I was just trying really hard to do it all and kind of get it right, whatever that meant.

Alyssa: Right. Do we ever get it right all the time? No.

Lisa: No. On a brain that hasn’t seen more than an hour of sleep in weeks, you know, it just doesn’t work, or wasn’t working for me very well. I was trying really hard, but it wasn’t working.

Alyssa: Well, I think your family is lovely, and you’re doing a great job. You always did a great job, even on lack of sleep. You did the best you could, and Ethan is wonderful. Is there anything else you want to tell people about dealing with anxiety and about postpartum support?

Lisa: Yeah, there was this great documentary event a couple months back. It was held – I think Gold Coast Doulas was one of the sponsors.

Alyssa: When the Bough Breaks?

Lisa: Yeah, and it’s a documentary about women with postpartum depression, and it wasn’t until I actually watched that movie that I understood what postpartum depression actually is and that it is a spectrum of an emotional state that can be anywhere from low anxiety to psychosis. And I literally thought – because I think what you hear in the news about postpartum depression is more the psychosis stories, and I thought, well, I’m not having hallucinations, or I don’t want to harm my child or anything like that, so I’m “fine.” But once I watched the documentary, I realized I was definitely on the spectrum of high anxiety with a newborn and even infant. I would say for sure for the first eleven months. And I would just say again, find somebody who knows that they’re talking about, who’s thought of as kind of best in their field. A postpartum doulas would be a great example. Talk to somebody and get support. Don’t sit there in your living room and panic and worry.

Alyssa: Don’t just try to deal with it yourself.

Lisa: Yeah, don’t just try to deal with it yourself because I think I did, and if I would have reached out more, like if I would have been more forthcoming with you earlier about it, I think it would have helped me a lot.

Alyssa: Maybe wouldn’t have lasted eleven months.

Lisa: Yeah, because I think I waited until maybe month nine to really talk to you about it. I was like, “Alyssa, I just – I’m kind of feeling these things. Do you think I have postpartum depression?” And that’s a long time.

Alyssa: Talking about it is hard, though. And even with your partner or spouse, it’s sometimes hard.

Lisa: Well, and it’s sometimes fleeting, too. It’s not like every day you feel bad, but it’s sometimes in the morning you feel bad; sometimes in the afternoon you feel bad, or you feel particularly overwhelmed by this new developmental stage that your baby is going through. You know, just get – just talk to other good women. Get support.

Alyssa: Talking about it is the first step.

Lisa: For sure.

Alyssa: I’ll list some resources for postpartum depression, anxiety, and psychosis on our website, and we have some on our Facebook page, as well. Thank you so much for talking to us.

Lisa: Thank you.

Podcast Episode #20: Lisa’s Story about Postpartum Anxiety Read More »

Podcast Episode #19: Lisa’s Postpartum Journey

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Birth / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth doula, birth support, breastfeeding, childbirth, doulas, newborn care, postpartum doulas, sleep deprivation

On this episode of Ask the Doulas, Alyssa talks with Lisa about her postpartum doula and how having a doula helped with her recovery. You can listen to the complete podcast on iTunes and SoundCloud.

Alyssa: Hi, welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas with Gold Coast Doulas. I am Alyssa Veneklase. I am co-owner and postpartum doula. Today we are talking to a client, Lisa, again. Hello, Lisa.

Lisa: Hello.

Alyssa: Last time we talked about her and her husband’s struggle with fertility and how that looked for her. Just to kind of recap, it took them about two and a half years, and then she ended up with an emergency C-section five weeks early. So we’re going to talk about what her life looked like once she got home. So Ethan spent five days in NICU, and you said you were ready. You were ready after that; five days was enough. Is that because it was scary having a baby in the NICU, or you just wanted to go home?

Lisa: Everything is very medical and monitored, and it feels – there’s definitely a separation between the natural kind of mother-and-child bonding, I think, that happens in those early hours, those early days. So for example, when I had the C-section, they wouldn’t actually let me go visit him until I was able to get up out of bed by myself and go to the bathroom. So I ended up not being able to see him for the first 17 hours.

Alyssa: You were like, “I will get up and pee by myself!”

Lisa: If this is the last thing that I do, I am going to get out of this bed and go pee! Yeah, so, that made me anxious because I was literally sitting in this hospital bed by myself in a room by myself because my husband was with the baby doing skin-to-skin, and I was counting the minutes. When do I get to go meet him?

Alyssa: So five days later, you get to bring him home.

Lisa: Actually, eight days later. Yeah, we bring him home, and it was so funny because as much as I wanted to leave the NICU, the minute we got home, he wasn’t hooked up to a monitor so you don’t know his oxygen saturation levels; you don’t know his temperature; you don’t know all these things that the machines are telling you. And I literally was fearful that he was going to die in the middle of the night. I’m like, “Well, he’s just going to stop breathing, and I’m not going to know because the beeper isn’t going to go off.” And so then I had this anxiety about not having all of the faculties that you have in the hospital. But luckily, we knew right from the beginning that – we had a birth doula who played a very different role than what I expected her to play in the beginning.

Alyssa: Yeah, absolutely. How did your birth doula end up supporting you with an emergency C-section?

Lisa: She didn’t make it to the hospital in time because it was – it happened basically in 45 minutes, and so just with the distance, she couldn’t get there, but she sat with me in the room after I recovered for several hours, when I was coming down off the gas and stuff that you get. Not gas; it’s an injection, but anyway, you know, when you’re really coming out of the stuff that they give you, and that was really helpful. I’m glad that I wasn’t alone then. But we knew that we also wanted a postpartum doula. Neither of us had been around babies very much in our adult life, and we wanted somebody who was an expert with infants that knew the research and the range of – what are the options, when I have a question? You know, about sleeping or whatever; that would be a great one because we did struggle a lot with sleeping. What are the different approaches and why, and what are the pros and cons to each? I talked a lot to my postpartum doula about sleeping and how to encourage sleeping, creating the right environment and all of that. But otherwise, I didn’t know what I was doing. I was also recovering from an abdominal surgery, and I just plain needed help, you know? I was struggling with getting up and down stairs because it was still quite painful. And so we had a postpartum doula come in every morning from six to nine through the work week and then on the weekends, my husband and I were together, so then we were able to kind of tag-team, and that was obviously different. And then we also did have several overnight stays. But even simple things the postpartum doula helped me with was, how do you get up with a new, new baby, at least get yourself in the shower, and eating breakfast, before you’re kind of down on the couch nursing them for the first time or for the first nap during the day? And I think that would have taken me weeks to figure out.

Alyssa: To figure out, like if I get up a half an hour early and try to get in the shower…

Lisa: Yes! And just a shower and eating before you’re starting the whole rigmarole of the day, especially when you’re breastfeeding, because I was really hungry – that makes a huge difference.

Alyssa: Well, and most women, especially in the beginning when you feel like you’re nursing all the time –

Lisa: All the time!

Alyssa: And you’re so hungry and so thirsty, and then they tell me, well, I don’t have time. You need to make time. If you’re not drinking, you’re not eating, your milk supply is just going to start to slowly diminish.

Lisa: Yeah. And then I couldn’t do things like go to the grocery store; that was a big challenge, or do any type of meal planning. So then our postpartum doula – we said, this is the food that we like, and so she basically created some meals, went to the grocery store, brought them back, did some or all of the food prep for the different meals, and that was just life-saving as well. But mostly I think for me it was a trusted partner. Like, who can I just ask anything to and it be just fine? And maybe it’s lack of knowledge for me or just that I don’t know who else to ask this question to.

Alyssa: Well, it’s overwhelming your first time. You literally know nothing. I mean, very little.

Lisa: I didn’t even know how to swaddle. I mean, swaddling was a big learning curve for me. I never really got it tight enough. In the beginning; I eventually did, but –

Alyssa: He’d just kind of ninja his way out?

Lisa: Yes, he did! Yeah. This person, this woman, this angel of mine, her name was Kate, and she was wonderful.

Alyssa: Now, we should mention – we didn’t mention that you lived in Seattle at this point.

Lisa: Right.

Alyssa: So you were not in Grand Rapids. When did you find out you were moving?

Lisa: When our son was three months old. He had just turned three months.

Alyssa: Yeah, because you had just gotten here when he was about four months, right? So you had a month to prepare. How was that?

Lisa: I think I was in a little bit of denial about how much needed to be done. We decided to spend more money to push the easy button, so we hired movers to actually pack us for the first time as well as do the cross-country move, and that was worth every dime that we spent, even though that is not cheap. It was really worth it. And I just focused on my recovery and my baby and the bonding and just let all that other stuff go.

Alyssa: So then you got here, and you had Judd’s family here. You have no family here, and your doula in Seattle found me.

Lisa: Right, so then I was talking to her, and I said, “You know, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know anybody there. How am I going to unpack into a new house, meet anybody?” And she’s like, “Oh, well, let me just do some research. I’ll do some looking for you today,” and she came back the next day, and she was like, “I found somebody.” And it was Alyssa. And I was like, “Perfect! Perfect! At least I have a doula that I can totally lean on!” And that was you, and…

Alyssa: We met, and the rest is history, right?

Lisa: The rest is history. And my husband’s family helped us move into the house, and that was unbelievably healthy. Healthy? Helpful! I still have mom-brain.

Alyssa: It never goes away.

Lisa: I transpose these words and then it doesn’t make sense.

Alyssa: It doesn’t go away. It’s not pregnancy-brain; it’s mom-brain, for sure.

Lisa: So at the end of the day, I’m really glad that we moved. I think it was a really, really hard time. I think moving may be – if you can wait until your baby is closer to one or something, that might be easier, an easier transition for the mom just because you’re so exhausted in the beginning. But Grand Rapids is really family-friendly, and I’m just so appreciative of that, and I feel like it’s a good place to raise kids.

Alyssa: We’re glad you’re here.

Lisa: I’m glad that we’re here. And I’m glad to have met you! Thank goodness for you!

Alyssa: Yeah, we worked eight months, maybe, seven months? Off and on; it was a lot in the beginning.

Lisa: Yeah, until he was about a year, yeah. At a year, I kind of felt like, oh, the weight of all of being a new mom kind of lifted a little bit for me, and I just felt more confident, I guess.

Alyssa: Well, and he was gaining so much more independence that it was almost – I remember one day you saying “It’s so great. He’s sitting up and he’s doing all these things, but he’s not my little baby anymore.” It was like this – I’m so glad he’s doing this because now he can play by himself for a little bit on the floor and I can actually go sit down and eat or do dishes or something, but you struggled with this. He’s my baby, but he’s not my little baby anymore, and he’s doing all these other things. And I think we all struggle with that. Me, I only have one child, so every phase, every developmental stage, I just – good and bad, I love it.

Lisa: Because that’s the only one you get.

Alyssa: Yeah. So I guess that’s a piece of advice I give, especially if you’re only having one –and you may end up trying for more; who knows, but you just – it helps you get through the hard times. Even the sleepless nights; it’s all temporary because soon he’s going to be eight, right? He’s not going to want to sleep with you, and he’s not going to want to wake up. You’re going to have to wake him up!

Lisa: That’s right. I can’t even imagine that! He’s still waking up probably three times, religiously, every night. But it’s a lot better than what he was.

Alyssa: You’re getting sleep.

Lisa: Yeah, I’m getting enough sleep now. I’m not crazy like I was; sleepless-crazy. You know, an hour or 45 minutes of continuous sleep, all during the day, if that’s all you get, that is not enough for a person to have their wits about them. It’s just not.

Alyssa: No. I think we’ll talk next time with Lisa about the effects of sleep deprivation and how – you know, a pregnancy journey that doesn’t go as planned along with sleep deprivation and an emergency C-section; all these things; how does that play in your brain. So stay tuned; we’ll talk next to Lisa about that. Thank you for sharing today!

Lisa: Thanks.

Podcast Episode #19: Lisa’s Postpartum Journey Read More »

Podcast Episode #17: How to Find a Babysitter You Trust

Ask The Doulas Podcast, Parenting / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, baby sleeping advice, baby sleeping tips, birth support, grandparents, how to get a newborn to sleep, how to make a baby sleep, night nanny, night nurse, sleeping and babies, sleeping and newborns

On this episode of Ask the Doulas, Alyssa and Cindy talk about how to find a babysitter that you trust to watch your kids. You can listen to this entire podcast epidode on iTunes and Soundclound.

Alyssa: Hi, welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas. I am Alyssa, and I’m here with Cindy from Cindy’s Suds.

Cindy: Hi.

Alyssa: I’m kind of throwing this topic at her because we had a question asked: how do you find babysitters? So we have these moms who are having babies, and then let’s say they don’t have friends and family around.

Cindy: We were fortunate in that my mom lives in the area, and my sister lived in the area when we had our kids, when they were younger. So we were fortunate that we had family babysitters at the ready, but my parents started traveling a few years after we had kids, and so then I needed to get a babysitter, somebody that I had on standby instead of my dear mom and my sister. So it was interesting because it’s very challenging trying to find a sitter who you trust with your most precious possession, which is your child or your children. I think in an earlier episode, you and I had talked about interviewing preschools and schools.

Alyssa: Yeah, pediatricians and stuff.

Cindy: It’s no different with babysitters, and so that’s the thing that I started doing when we needed to find a babysitter is I started interviewing, and I started asking friends for babysitter referrals. If I had a babysitter that I liked, that I would use periodically, I would ask them if they had friends that also were sitters. But I did my due diligence, just like we talked about for pediatricians or for schools. I interviewed them, and I had them with me and my kids for a while so I could see them interact with my children, and that was a huge tell-tale for how they would interact with kids. It’s surprising how some babysitters are naturally so great with kids, and others that claim to be babysitters would sit on the ground and have no idea how to interact with kids. So it’s kind of interesting just the whole gamut of what kind of person you’re going to get when you really start looking for a sitter, and I would just really make sure that if you’re in that boat, you do some interviewing, just like you would do for pediatricians or schools or whatever.

Alyssa: Yeah, I think having – I see a lot of clients who don’t even want a babysitter because they’re so scared to leave them. So I tell them a good middle ground; like, ease your way into it; have them come over while you’re home. It’s almost like a mother’s helper role. You pay them a little bit less just to say, hey, come over for two hours. Will you watch my son or daughter while I cook or nap – not nap, probably, because you want to watch them, but maybe cook or clean or just get some errands done around the house. Really start to feel comfortable with that person before you leave the house.

Cindy: I agree 100%, and that’s what I did, too, for our sitters when we were looking for them. You want them in your home with you there so that you can have that mom-ear to hear and to listen for interaction. And also if they have questions; they can ask you while you’re there, and you can kind of guide them through what your son or daughter may like, not like, you know, different things like that. Even changing diapers – this is a funny story. My sister was in her 20s when she first started babysitting for us, and I guess I assumed that she would remember how to change diapers from when she had babysat 10 years prior, and the first time that we had left her with our daughter who was little, maybe four or five months at the time, when we came home from whatever event that my husband and I had to go to, her diapers was on backwards! Which cracked me up because she’s like, 22, 23, and this must have been something that she couldn’t quite remember.

Alyssa: The Velcro goes in back!

Cindy: Right, right.

Alyssa: At least you realized it before bedtime and woke up to a huge mess in the middle of the night.

Cindy: Right. And we actually were cloth diapering, but we left some disposables thinking that it would be easier than a cloth diaper, and even that must have thrown her. So very funny because she’s my sister that has quadruplets, so she actually has really had to get it.

Alyssa: Now she knows how to change a diaper!

Cindy: Now she knows how to change diapers! But yeah, I think it’s great if you’re able to be there with the babysitter, a couple of hours at a time here, a couple of hours at a time there. You’ll really get an idea of how they interact with your children, and that is by far the best way to really weed out who you want to watch your children.

Alyssa: So our first-time moms do that, and then by the time you have kid number two or three, they’re like, we don’t even care. Just give me somebody.

Cindy: And references from friends, like if you have friends that have said, hey, so-and-so is great. I think that’s a super valuable resource, too, because now you’ve got this person who’s kind of been vetted by a friend of yours already, so that’s a good option.

Alyssa: Neighbors, too. You know, we have a couple girls in our neighborhood who can literally walk here, and that’s really convenient, especially if they’re not 16 yet, you know, if you trust a 14- or 15-year-old with your kid and they can just walk here.

Cindy: And I think the nice thing about a 14- or 15-year-old, when you have an older child, that’s a great age compliment.

Alyssa: Yeah. It’s almost like they’re not embarrassed to be silly; does that make sense?

Cindy: Right, exactly.

Alyssa: But if you get an 18-year-old, and they’re like, hmm.

Cindy: Exactly; that is so true. And so if you just need somebody for the day, you know, if you’re running errands during the day, if you’ve got a daytime meeting, I think that age bracket is actually a more fun age bracket. If your kids are between the ages of three, four to maybe eight or so, that’s a super fun age for that younger teen to babysit because they can be silly and they can be fun, and if they’re in your neighborhood, they can walk over, and how great is that? So that’s super convenient, too.

Alyssa: Yeah, I think it gets easier as your kids get older. When you have an infant, I’d say up until one, right, you really want somebody experienced. I had one babysitter I trusted, and she was CPR-certified, and I knew her family. So it’s different if you’re not hiring a nanny or a postpartum doula or you don’t have your mom, but even if you’re having a caregiver, like your grandparents as caregivers or baby’s grandparents, I got nervous about that when my parents watched her because they were 35 years out of the game, and they didn’t know all these things that have changed in 34 years. Unplanned segue; we have The Modern Grandparent class that we teach. So it just updates grandparents on all these things and how to be great babysitters. Let’s talk about SIDS and crib safety, Back to Sleep, how to bottle-feed, how to support the mom if she’s a breastfeeding mom.

Cindy: That’s a perfect thing to think about as well, because they haven’t been sitting; they haven’t watched kids in many, many years, and things have changed.

Alyssa: I mean, if your sister after 10 years forgot how to put a diaper on correctly, what do the grandparents forget in 35 years, sometimes 40? We’ve got moms who are 40, so when you have grandparents as caregivers, it’s also a source of anxiety. Babysitters in general, just especially for new parents; it’s stressful.

Cindy: It’s so nerve-wracking. The first time I left my daughter, I cried and cried and cried. I had a miserable night out, and it’s because you feel as a mom like you’re the only person that can take care of your child. And while you may feel that, that’s probably not true. But you’ve got to really feel good about the sitter so that you can enjoy yourself because the whole purpose of having a babysitter is maybe to either reconnect with your husband, have a date night, go to meetings. It’s so that you can really establish who you are again, whether that’s the work force or different groups or events that you were a part of before you had a baby. You need to feel comfortable with that sitter so that you can get back to remembering who you are as a person before you were a mom, which I think is super easy for us as moms to forget about the person who we were before we became a mom. I think we can kind of separate and draw a line: “Now I’m a mom; now I can’t do the things that I did beforehand.” So finding that sitter, whether it’s a grandparent who has gone through the grandparenting class that you guys offer, or if it’s a sitter that actually has done some CPR certification training or is super involved with other kid groups or that’s she’s been around children a lot, so she is comfortable. You just need to make sure that you’re finding a babysitter who you can completely trust so that you can enjoy whatever activity you’re doing to need the sitter in the first place.

Alyssa: Yeah, if it’s supposed to be an enjoyable night out, you want to enjoy it, and if you’re supposed to be at work, you need to be productive. Crying at your desk all day is not productive.

Cindy: Right, exactly.

Alyssa: Well, hopefully we gave everyone some good tips. Babysitters can be tricky, but when you find a good one, don’t let them go.

Cindy: Exactly, yeah. They’re worth their weight in gold; they really are, so make sure that you find that one or two, and if you can have a couple, that’s nicer just because if you are – we had one that we loved when our kids were little, and when she wasn’t free, we didn’t go out. And that’s also not really productive, either. You really want to have a couple, a little group of sitters who you feel comfortable with and who your kids feel comfortable with.

Alyssa: We have several because some are high school students. Some are college students. Their schedules are all different, and I know that my high school girls are going to be graduating, and their schedules get different, and then the 14-year-olds are much more available than the 17- or 18-year-olds because now they’re getting into boyfriends and dating and all these events and maybe they have other jobs. So I have to have a wide array because otherwise, yeah, if you have one sitter, you’re probably out of luck most of the time. Because you’re not their only job; I bet they have other babysitting jobs.

Cindy: Very true.

Alyssa: Well, thanks for sharing. As always, you can find us at goldcoastdoulas.com. Email us with ideas at info@goldcoastdoulas.com. And then, Cindy, where can people find you?

Cindy: You can find us on our website. It’s www.cindyssuds.com, and you can also email me directly at cindy@cindyssuds.com. We’re carried locally in the Harvest Health stores, Kingma’s, Hopscotch, and several other local retailers.

Podcast Episode #17: How to Find a Babysitter You Trust Read More »