Written by Garrett Wood Kusmierz, CEO and founder of kozēkozē, a perinatal products company on a mission to reduce the mess and stress of motherhood so that moms can better bond with their babies.
I want to start by saying that my situation is a little unique—not only did my doula find me but, in some ways, The Universe, God, or whatever you believe in, told me I needed one.
I’ve hosted a podcast for six years. During my pregnancy, doulas and childbirth educators were reaching out and asking to be on the show. Prior to interviewing them, my perspective was that they could be helpful, but “only hippies had doulas.”
However, after sitting down and having a conversation with a few doulas, I realized that I wanted a doula as a neutral third party in my birth room to help remind me of all my options amidst whatever happened in my birth.
I wanted this for a few reasons.
- I had never given birth before and, based on other guests’ stories, I had (unfortunately) heard a lot about what could go wrong.
- My husband had never attended a birth before and I wanted him to feel as though he had support, too.
So, I put “Hire a doula” on my list.
Before I began the search, I was in need of a massage—bad. I went to a very sketchy place that was not prenatal certified and left in awful cramps. As I cried on my way home from this potentially dangerous deep tissue massage, I got a call from a prenatal masseuse who said she could see me the next day. Something told me to go to her.
When I got there, I told her about where I had been and she said, “Sweetie, I don’t want to scare you but, at 14 weeks pregnant, they shouldn’t have done deep tissue in those areas. It’s not safe for me to massage you today, but come back in a week.”
I felt safe with her, and she said, “By the way, I am a doula. Is it okay if I check on you in a few days?” I immediately responded, “Can you be my doula?” The rest was history.
I must have had a sixth sense that my birth was going to be a doozy (for lack of a better term) because, sure enough, I had a four-day labor, every intervention you could imagine, and my doula says it was the hardest and longest birth she’s ever attended.
Although it’s not what any of us wanted, I know I couldn’t have done it without her. It made me realize the power of having support, which is what also led me to look for a postpartum doula.
Mothers have been birthing and raising children in community for thousands of years until the last handful of decades as culture has shifted that norm. So, while it may not be your mom or your auntie supporting you in the birth room or in your home the first few weeks of postpartum, support is available—and I would encourage any expecting mom to arrange for that support to happen. We weren’t meant to do it all alone.