Mindset Shifts for Moms: Podcast Episode #269
Kristin Revere and Olivia Radcliffe discuss common mind monsters that affect moms, especially moms with businesses. Olivia is the bestselling author of “Hold My Juice Box” and the host of Marketing Like a Mother podcast.
Hello, hello! This is Kristin Revere with Ask the Doulas, and I am thrilled to chat with Olivia Radcliffe today. Olivia is an award-winning expert in authentic marketing and business strategy. She helps mompreneurs grow a business and a life that they love, even if they only have naptime to work in. Olivia is also a best-selling author of Hold My Juice Box and host of the Marketing Like a Mother podcast. Her favorite title, though, is mama. Welcome, Olivia!
Thank you so much for having me!
I am excited to talk about your book, your business, and why you focus on supporting mompreneurs, especially when it comes to the business aspect of things because we’re so torn in multiple directions, as I mentioned to you before we hit record. It can be challenging to get in the right mindset and block out hours to get important work done.
Yeah, absolutely. That’s probably an understatement. It can be a lot, day in, day out.
So being a mom – was that your shift in your marketing strategy? Because you could focus on anyone.
Yeah, it’s funny because the niche of moms with businesses – that kind of chose me. I did not choose this niche. It just kind of happened. I actually just started working out, just as a general business and marketing consultant, and part of my business – I still run just a marketing agency – the more people I worked with, the more I seemed to realize that they were moms who were coming to me. And before I knew it, it was pretty much solely moms, and I wasn’t even a mom yet at the time when I first started my business. But I was moving away from a full time job into full time self-employment, and a lot of the strategies I was looking at and that I was working with myself were things that naturally fit very well with someone who is juggling other priorities, like raising tiny humans. And so it just fit in very, very well. And then I had my son, and suddenly I was practicing what I preached. It just took everything to a whole new level. It has been the most amazing and challenging of experiences to grow the businesses while being a mom and everything else.
Exactly. I’m totally with you. I love that you still focus on your core but have niched to help other moms with marketing and business. And the fact that you’ve got so many projects shows that you’re an organized individual to be able to give advice in that area. Having a podcast is a lot of work. Being an author, I know as an author myself, it is so much to not only write a book, but also promote it.
And I will admit that a lot of the writing process took place on my phone on Google Doc early in the morning while my son was still curled up next to me sometimes. Just little moments that I could get, one minute here and there, just writing. And before I knew it, I had a book. But yeah, it is a whole process in itself then to turn around and market this thing and continue to get the word out there.
Exactly. So as far as the focus of our episode today, we’re going to talk about the mind monsters that can affect moms, especially moms with their own businesses. So what are your tips on dealing with all of the things that we juggle as moms?
Yeah, I mean, that’s several episodes all put in there because there are so many mind monsters that can plague especially moms with businesses, but pretty much any entrepreneur and any mom, whether you have a business or not. But there are things like imposter syndrome. Worrying that you’re a bad mom because you want to work on your business. Or worrying that you’re a bad entrepreneur because you want to focus on your kids. Finding that balance between everything. That guilt, that mom guilt that kind of creeps in with every single thing we do and every decision we make. Sometimes it just feels like we’re choosing between the lesser of two evils. And it can really bog you down. It can feel like a huge weight on your shoulders every day to try to find that balance. And so that’s actually what my book is about, Hold My Juice Box. I tackle 14 of the most common of those lies that moms with businesses kind of tell themselves, that they can get stuck in, and that really hold them back. And I chose that topic as opposed to just a straight up business and marketing book because every single person I’ve worked with, it doesn’t matter if you have the most well-crafted, perfectly positioned marketing plan out there. If you believe even one of those lies, it will tear you down and you won’t find that success that you’re looking for. So you have to deal with those mind monsters first and foremost.
I love the title of your book. It’s perfect. And I agree, there are so many ways that we can sabotage ourselves with our business and feel guilty. I feel like the mom guilt – and also focusing on our relationship with our partner and maybe for me, being an entrepreneur, I felt like I was letting my kids down if I ended up going to an event for my business or needed to make sales calls and so on.
Exactly. And my son – he’s four years old, so he was actually born during the pandemic. I had him, and within a couple of weeks, we were put on lockdown. And so the good portion of his life, he thought that human interaction occurred on Zoom and didn’t quite realize that there were other humans out there. And just by his nature in itself, he naturally is very good at self-play. It was just me and him for a long time, and he quickly caught on to the, mom has to work or mom’s doing a podcast thing, and he does his lessons, because I do homeschool with him, so he’s either working on his stuff or playing games. But that does not stop me from feeling insanely guilty. Every time I’m recording something or I’m in a client meeting and he’s just quietly playing with his cars, happy as can be, it still is a little knife in my heart thinking, oh, I should be playing with him or something like that. And sometimes that guilt can be one of two things. It can be healthy guilt – which yes, there is healthy guilt. It’s something that happens when we have compromised on our values or hurt others or something that we do need to apologize for, even apologize to ourselves, and kind of work through how to overcome that. And then there’s toxic guilt, and I think the mom guilt is much more of a toxic guilt because it’s less about actually doing something bad or wrong. It’s just that we kind of take it on as, we’re bad. No matter what we do, we’re wrong. We’re bad. We feel this shame, this guilt. And there is nothing we can do to overcome it unless we realize that it is toxic and it is not based on anything solid or real.
So true. So what other gems do you share in your book?
I packed a lot into the 40,000 words. I tried to make it as quick and easy and concise for the moms as possible because I know we don’t have a lot of time to just sit and read. But the other big one that I see a lot of people dealing with, and I’ve dealt with a lot myself, is that kind of fear of failure. And again, that’s something that happens whether you’re a mom who has a business or not. It runs the gamut just with the human race in general. That fear just overall gets kind of a bad rap. But fear in itself is just a message to us. It is just telling us that this thing, whatever we’re scared about, there is something in here that we care a lot about. It is something that’s really important to us. And so whenever you’re feeling that fear, to kind of sit down a little bit, look at that fear, and figure out what it is you care about, and is it a realistic thing? Is it something that is kind of a primal instinct, like fear of speaking in public where we’re scared that we’re going to get ridiculed and isolated from our community and cast out of the caves and whatever primal instincts we have? Or is it something where we can stop and say, okay, look, this isn’t the end of the world. I care about this because I have so much to gain from this. And then focus on what it is you have to gain instead of so much on the what it is you have to lose side of things and try to get your brain looking at, what’s the worst situation? Okay. I’ve handled it. I know what I can do. Now, what is the best case? What is the best situation that could happen? And then focus on that.
Certainly, looking at both ends for the problem solvers, like trying to anticipate what may go wrong, makes sense. But also, many things can go right, and so I love that it’s balanced very evenly so any personality can benefit from it.
Yeah. And I will admit, I am not a purely just straight up positive thinker. I like positive thinking. I love affirmations. They have definitely helped me a lot. I understand and appreciate the neuroscience behind kind of rewiring those pathways in your brain and I’ve used it a lot with my clients. But I will throw it in there, I’m much more of a realistic thinker. Sometimes things are going to go wrong. Sometimes you are going to mess up, and you’re going to have the tech issues. You’re going to get on stage and forget what you wanted to say or something. And have some sort of idea – don’t plan for that; don’t make that the only thing you focus on – but acknowledge that it could go wrong. What’s the worst case? How are you going to handle it? And see, it’s not all that bad. Most of the time, it’s going to be okay, and you just move on from there. And then once you’ve kind of scratched that itch in your brain, like acknowledged that yes, it could go wrong. This is what I would do. Then you can focus fully more on the, what if it goes right? And then you can add in the visualizations and affirmations and kind of focus more on that positive thinking.
I love it. So for our listeners who are not entrepreneurs, it sounds like they can still apply a lot of the strategies in your book. Any tips for moms who may be on maternity leave and they’re getting ready to transition back to their corporate job, for example, and how to again handle being a mom and also managing the 9:00 to 5:00?
Absolutely, because a lot of these negative mind monsters, these lies we tell ourselves – a lot of them come into play also when you’re in the corporate world or you’re doing something else in your regular 9:00 to 5:00, and especially if you’re looking at leaving your newborn for the first time and going back into work. I know that can be a really daunting thing and a lot of guilt can come up, either guilt because you’re looking forward to it or guilt because you just don’t want it to happen and you don’t want to leave your baby. There’s just so many different emotions. And I think kind of the same thing of stopping and looking at what you’re feeling because our emotions aren’t there just to keep things interesting. They’re to kind of send us messages and let us know where we are kind of acting outside of our blueprint of where we think we should be acting. And take a look at how you’re feeling, how you would like to be feeling, and then what can you change to get to that “I would like to feel…” place. If it’s something like – you know, maybe you can look at changing your job if you’re having a really hard time leaving your baby and that’s what you don’t want to do. If you would much rather stay home, then okay, what does this look like? You’re not boxed in. Or if you’re feeling guilty because you’re leaving and going back to work and you feel like, I should be wanting to stay. I shouldn’t feel like I want to go back to work. Looking at, okay, is that actually a real feeling that I should be feeling? Is that healthy guilt, or is that something that’s toxic guilt and I need to go back and kind of change my blueprint a little bit? It is okay for me to want to have an identity aside from just being mom. And so either changing your circumstances or going back and kind of rewiring your blueprint, so to speak.
That makes complete sense.
Does it? Because I kind of feel like I went on a tangent there!
No, I am totally following, and it’s very helpful for our listeners who are going through so many different transitions of having a baby or that are currently pregnant and then either trying to manage their business and juggle that or go back to their day job and feeling very stressed out and anxious about all of the different roles, whether it’s a first time mom or this is baby number five, there’s still stressors.
Yeah, absolutely, and new stressors that are going to come along each and every season of life you’re in, right? Things are going to shift and change, and just as you catch on to something, a new thing is going to come up. But I think kind of giving yourself some grace in those situations and realizing that while you can do anything, you can’t do everything all at once, and having that understanding of what your goals are, what are your priorities, how do you want to feel, what does that dream life look like for you, and is what you’re doing kind of helping support what that looks like, or is it something that’s completely contrary to where you want to be?
You talk so much about authentic marketing, and there are many different versions of authenticity. It could be the mom showing her messy house or just all of the things that she’s juggling in her day. But I would like to hear from the expert on what you consider authentic marketing to be.
Yeah, well, authentic marketing – there’s lots of different definitions out there. And ultimately, it is what is true to you. What feels good to you and how you want to show up in your business. And so I’ve worked with a whole bunch of women who have taken the business courses or done the coaching and they’re trying to follow someone else’s framework, and it’s just not working for them. And they’re getting really frustrated and they’re kind of internalizing it and thinking that they’re doing something wrong or they are wrong and maybe they’re just not cut out for this whole entrepreneur thing when the reality is, it’s just the wrong framework. You need to take bits and pieces and figure out what actually works for your life, your schedule, your strengths. Acknowledge your weaknesses, also. Don’t just ignore them. There’s some things we’re naturally not good at, and that’s okay. We can outsource those things. But it’s really looking at what feels good to you and then kind of building up from there in your business and in your marketing plan. For some moms, that might look like including their kids in all of their marketing. And for others, that might look like they want to hide their kids’ faces. And that’s okay. Both of those are okay. There is a strategy either way, no matter where you sit in your marketing, whether you want to show your dirty house or not. I think something I’ve done is, people like looking at my desk for some reason because they think I’m so organized and put together, and partly I am, and also partly I have a four-year-old. So my desk has toys, and right now I have this – he made me a smoothie, so it’s a cup of leaves and seed pods and random things that he brought in my “smoothie.” And there is a rapport that you build with your audience when you can show that you’re human, show that kind of vulnerable side a little bit. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to do that. You can be completely faceless on social media. You don’t even have to have social media. Or you can get on and do lives every day. The whole point of authentic is that it is customizable to you and what you need.
That is such great advice because I feel like with the videos trending on social media, people feel like they have to make reels and videos constantly, but if they’re a better blogger or have other forms of communication, like having a podcast, that might work better for them for focusing their efforts on anything from a newsletter. Blogging may be better for their time and sanity than making videos constantly while you’re driving kids to school and sports. Having that pressure of producing video content daily can be a lot.
Yeah, absolutely. And I will share that I am very sporadic with my posting on social media at the moment. I always have been. Sometimes I go through kicks where I really like posting, and I actually did say I would do a challenge for one of my clients. I was going to post consistently, like daily or multiple times a day for a month and just see what happens and get her the results, so I might go into that, but that is purely an experiment and because I’m choosing to do it, not because I have to do it. I have grown multiple successful global businesses without being tied to any sort of social media platform. So it is definitely possible. I think that’s the number one thing that people come to me for, beyond not having time: not wanting to be on social media so much.
Right, that is so true. So tell us where we can find Hold My Juice Box.
It’s available on Amazon, paperback and Kindle, or if you go to my website, thebluebellgroup.com, there’s a link for the hardback, or it should be available in bookstores everywhere, the hardback version.
Awesome. And then your podcast, Marking Like a Mother? Tell us a bit about that and where to find it.
Marketing Like a Mother has been the most amazing journey. I started it with a business bestie, which turned into a second business and was just this whole amazing experience in itself. But it is really all about digging deep into the things that help you build a business and life you love. My co-host has had to move on at this point and focus on other things, and so now the podcast is really focused on a lot of really amazing guest experts, but them I’m also mixing in some step by step, super easy, actionable trainings. So if you have 20 minutes to listen to a quick training episode, you can make some progress for the week. If that’s all you get done, then that’s great. And it is available on platforms anywhere, so wherever you like listening to podcasts, just search for Marketing Like A Mother.
Perfect. And I know you’re very active on social media, so where can our listeners find you?
Instagram right now. I’m @thebluebellgroup. Also Facebook, @thebluebellgroup, or search for my profile. I’m more than happy to connect on there. Although I will fully just be transparent and tell you that if you DM me, I probably will not respond for a couple weeks or so.
I get that. That’s how I am with LinkedIn. I know you’re on LinkedIn for the business professionals who choose to use that platform over, say, Instagram. So they can find you on that channel, and then you’re on Substack, correct?
Yeah, that is where my podcast is mainly hosted. If you want to subscribe to the podcast, Marketing Like A Mother, on Substack, then you can get all of the notifications in your inbox weekly with all the show notes and sometimes we send out little fun extra bonuses, as well.
And the website, as you mentioned earlier is thebluebellgroup.com?
Lots of free resources on there if you are just looking to dip your toe in, if you’re kind of curious about this entrepreneur thing or have a business and you’re looking to revamp into something that’s a little more mom-focused. Definitely some resources on there that can help you out.
Excellent. Any final tips for our listeners, Olivia?
There’s a phrase that I say all the time with my son and actually we just put it on a T-shirt, so now I have a T-shirt that says it: That’s One Way To Do It. As you’re going about your journey, being a mom, being an entrepreneur, whatever other titles you have on your list, because I know there’s about a million and a half other titles. Whatever you’re doing, just keep in mind, that’s just one way to do it. You don’t have to do it like everybody else says. You don’t have to stick to any sort of typical box that society or anyone else tries to put you in. That’s just one way to do it. You can do it your way completely. So whatever works best for you, feels best for you, and works for your strengths and your schedule, then that’s the way to go. That’s where you will find that absolute fulfillment and success.
Again, all going back to authenticity and your own individual strengths. I love it, Olivia. I appreciate your time today.
Thank you so much for having me!
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